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Tell her to be quiet while violently fucking her into the mattress, & then slap her across the face every time she lets a little whimper or whine out 😵‍💫

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

Anyway if you’re strong enough to pick me up and throw me around I’m already wet

oh god I had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but I'm too drunk for words. hold on I'm gonna paint it.

these are so much funnier when you remember that he always carried a gun on set

He what

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

it's okay if you're not gay but at the least you should still be weird and hard to understand

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

sorry for documenting my suffering and delusions online do you still think im hot