Im supposed to utilize this thing to make writing things easier. To jot things down on these things rather then messaging them directly to people that ain’t gonna read it and that sometimes can be maybe an over share directly written 🤷🏻♀️ Most of the time I have no filter. It does not mean that what was written or messaged did NOT happen. I don’t just come up with fictional things out of thin air; Sometimes I wish the instance was, fictional or when reading a sentence of mine back I can see where my grammatical errors could make a sentence or phrase sound a different way or how another persons perspective of that particular sentence can be taken.
I have had a lot of awkward ‘that’s what she said moments’ and those moments would happen in the - at work, they’d happen at work 🤦🏻♀️. Most of them, I would catch myself and of course being silly, I would laugh at myself, look around to see if anyone actually happened to hear it come out my mouth and depending on which crew of coworkers it would be a thing; most other instances it wouldn’t.
It’s weird when I do happen to catch it though, because they would end up being back to back. 🤦🏻♀️ I was in the military, sometimes I blame it on that. I am also my dad’s daughter and my dad, just had a presence. Cousins would often use the word ‘strict’. But I believe it was more of his volume or tone that would make it sound ‘strict’. It was just the way he spoke, in combination with his accent and his bluntness, his no bullshit attitude that would sometimes make his statements sound more harsh or abrasive, which would also be possible ways that he was referred to or remembered as ‘strict’. In reality, that’s just other peoples perception and that is the word they would often come to - ‘strict’.
I would describe my dad as, one of my main best friends; he passed away years ago, but I just wanted to start with that. He was a very straightforward, direct, take no bullshit, give no bullshit and he, we can smell the bullshit from a mile away type thing. When he spoke, he would pretty much gain the attention in the room, just because that’s how it was; that’s how he was and that’s how unique and one of a kind or individualistic his presence was. It was not a thing for him but, it would call for group laughter from the back seat by my brother and I and what we, the rest of us in the car would call ‘bitching’ or ‘nagging’ from my mom. 🤣 She would tend to get upset or maybe even whine or throw a fit, yell out ‘show off’ or some other more derogatory words, that I will refrain from for now. We’ll save the juicier words for the next tidbit.
My dad was really one of a kind; like no other. Then I blossomed 🌺 😂 As I have gotten older I have learned to grow into and accept myself —really it’s not a ‘thing’ until other people make it or turn it into something. I have found myself randomly catching traits in myself that I somehow picked up from others, Many I try hard to avoid when I do catch it; those are normally my moms random traits 😂. Just joking, not really. But they do and can turn into funny’s, why? Cuz things are more bubbly that way. I am or do tend to be — my own person, darn it. There is no other like me. Just like everyone else, we’re our own individuals but mine tends to stand out more. 🤷🏻♀️ 🤪.
I actually pride myself in my uniqueness. I was actually very fond of my dad’s too! It brings me, it makes me proud to correct other people’s perception of my dad. It tends to be more difficult explaining mine, because more often than not, no one truly gets me. That’s not my problem though, it’s just how it is or how it tends to go. I can’t make that a ‘me’ problem because why would I? That would mean more gloom or glum, a negativity that just isn’t me. Why would I make something that you’re having or taking and making a ‘problem’, that exact thing for me?! Why would I draw attention to your negativity? 🤷🏻♀️👍
I like to think of myself as a positive person or a person that is capable of thinking of something or many things in a more positive way. I can actually take…this one is actually taking me longer than I meant. For now this will have to be continued…..
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