I don’t know what to believe in. Is there a God or Gods, a Heaven, a Hell? Are there really such things as Angels…? Either way… I want something to take care of her. I want her to be in a wonderful place… a better one. So if there is something out there, anything…. please. Take care of her for us.
Some may recognize her as a France cosplayer, others may recognize her as someone they follow, yet some may know her as a friend, or a family member. I don’t know her as a cosplayer or family member, but I had the privilege to know her as an amazing friend, and as the most caring human being. She had a huge heart, and was filled with complete kindness. I didn’t find out what happened to her until today, and when I did, I couldn’t stop crying. It didn’t feel real. Jessie, gone? There was no way I could wrap my head around it. How could such a loving person be taken away…? I’ve never felt so disconnected from anything in my life.
At a nighttime photo-shoot at Colossalcon, I ended up breaking down in tears and running away from the group. While I was sitting there, I heard her ask if everything was okay and if there was anything she could do. She came to comfort me, a complete stranger, and that… that was more than any other person there would’ve done. She stayed by me, along with others to make sure I was alright as they continued with their shoot. I felt like a burden, slowing them down and worrying all of them, but the fact that she would care for someone she didn’t know should be enough to give the idea to you all that she really was an affectionate person. She didn’t want anyone to be upset, to fight, or to live thinking that they’re not important. She cares and loves for everyone. She would always help me with my problems, and always give advice. She made my days less stressful, and speaking to her, hanging out with her… those were some of the best times of my life. She was a talented young girl, speaking fluent french, with amazing talents such as cosplaying, singing, playing instruments… and so much more. I would give anything, ANYTHING, to hug her again, to have one last conversation… to just… see her one last time. I didn’t want her to be gone, no one did. She was more than anyone could’ve asked for, and I never really had the chance to express my gratitude…
So thank you, Jessie, for being there for me when no one would, for listening to me complain and whine about my problems, for taking the time to care for a stranger. I love you so much, and I’ll miss you deeply…. I still can’t believe you’re gone… I don’t think I’ll ever realize it. I just want to keep talking and laughing, and livestream, getting scared and screaming like complete idiots. You were one of the brightest people I knew, always knowing how to make others smile and feel happier when they were going through a stressful problem. Thank you so much. You’ll always be in my heart, and I’ll never, ever forget those times together.
To her parents and family… thank you for bringing such a caring person into the world, into my life. I can’t begin to imagine the pain all of you are feeling, and I am so very sorry for this tragedy… no one could ever replace Jess, and no one could’ve impacted the world like she could. Whether it was being a student, working a small job, or researching cancer, she would always make an impact by passing that kindness and love along. She was close to all of us, and we’ll all miss her so very much… She didn’t deserve what happened to her, no one could ever deserve that, but she’s in a better place now.
I am proud to call her my loving friend, and I am glad that I met her, and had her in my life. She was 19, with talent that could take her well beyond her dreams. So if one day you’re feeling down, or your days have been utterly horrible, know that she loves you. She cares for you. She’s there, hugging you, no matter what you did or went through. Jessie will always be there.
Even if you’re a complete stranger.
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