23 Months and Counting

What a freaking couple of months. I haven’t talked about it here but my husbands brother died about 6 weeks ago. It was and continues to be an absolute shock. It was the baby’s due date and the last thing we were ever expecting.

I am finding this whole newborn thing MUCH easier this time. When I brought Ev home from the hospital I had a bit of a panicky feeling overall. I mean I was really happy but I was also like “What have I done?” and feeding him and keeping him from crying and trying to get him to sleep all freaked me out. 

I haven’t talked to my sister in almost a year. We’ve had a fraught relationship for a decade and in the past I had made many efforts to make it better and after one final attempt last summer, I came to the conclusion that she needs to get to a very different place in her life before any sort of relationship is possible. It makes me sad but I really really really got to a point where I feel like there’s nothing I can do. 

I got an email from her this week that was I guess her attempt at reconciliation. She said she hopes she can repair our relationship, misses me, etc. It wasn’t long though—more of a short “I’m thinking of you, hope you’re well, etc.” type of thing. 

My instinct was to respond with a long email communicating all of my thoughts about everything. But you know what? I wrote that email, hit delete and responded with a short, simple thank you and basically said something to the effect of time will tell what happens with our relationship. I think that was the better thing to do.