20:08

"I loved you to the point of ruin. I loved you until my lungs were filled with ash."

Perhaps I liked the idea of you, The version of you I created in my dreams, More than I liked the reality of you, The person who I found standing before me. In theory, you were utterly perfect - And yet in practice, You fell short of my expectations. Perhaps I liked the thought of you: Lending me your jumper on cold winter nights; Holding me close when the tears started to fall; Kissing me until my lips were numb with love. In my head, it all seemed to work - And yet here we are, And nothing has gone quite like we expected. Nothing has gone quite like we expected at all.

Who was I before you came into my life? Who was I before you? I have no absolute idea. And I certainly, most definitely, do not want to find out.

I don’t want sex, I want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my. Then sex.