TWENTY AND ONWARD

Saw a new psychiatrist today. She’s keeping me on Lamictal but adding on Vraylar, which is a new anti psychotic. Not sure how I feel about trying a med released as recently as this but hey, I’m out of options at the moment. Fingers crossed. In other news, my psychologist says he doesn’t think I’m bipolar. My new psychiatrist says I fit the bill, even if I’m not a textbook example. I honestly don’t really care, I just want normalcy. More later. Maybe.

When you’re headed down the rabbit hole, haven’t slept for well weeks and you’re not taking your meds.

But I’ve noticed I drink to feel free, to feel and think and be SOMETHING more than the mundane.

I’ve been insanely nauseous all day which made me think I might be pregnant. Took a test, it was negative but I just threw up twice in an hour. Wanted to get so much more done today but it’s 7pm and I’m curled up in bed. Fucking medication. No wonder I’m not always compliant.

This little dog has not only saved my life but she protects me whenever she can. When your life is consumed by mental illness, you have to appreciate those things that help you not only survive but thrive.