Mee Hee

There'll be statues of him all over the place.

Because it was trained on pirated work—including freely accessible online writing (like fanfic, academic texts)—ChatGPT picked up patterns and quirks native to human writing.

Including (sigh) the em dash.

There are other victims here (RIP tapestry and delve 🫠), but the appropriation of the em dash—a punctuation mark beloved by writers everywhere—feels especially personal.

A kind of low-grade panic is ensuing. Writers who once memed their own em dash overuse—the greatest punctuation mark ever to grace the control-freak’s lexicon, frankly—are suddenly backing away to avoid accusations.

No. More. We have centuries of dash-abusing writers behind us. We will not sit quietly while AI repurposes our beloved stilted aside—or the just-one-more clarification the sentence demands—or the dramatic pause your comma could never—etc.

You don’t write like AI—AI writes like you.

Defend the em dash.

(Feel free to download/share/stick it where it matters!)

on windows it’s alt +(numlock numpad) + 0151,

depending on the app ( in windows) you can do cntr+ alt + -,

It has taken my mind. I have lost all that was good and true in the world. Only lies remain.

I cannot sleep. It changes me when I sleep. I think.

I am a farmer. I hunted an escaped cow. I pursued it without rest, and when I found it, hidden in a cave, I brought it home. Dragged it, really, it fought me every step. And then I killed it. We shall eat its meat.

When the deed was done, all the strength I’d borrowed came due. Sleep commanded me. And I almost obeyed. But I could not sleep. The meat needed salted. It was just a carcass on the ground, it would spoil.

Why had I no salt? Why had I no ice box? My stores were empty, I had no stores that could be empty. Where was the meat? Hadn’t I killed before?

Haven’t I killed so many times before?

The killing was so familiar. I must have done it so many times before.

I remember. The cow had spoken. It had begged me to spare it. It spoke in tongues. Perhaps it was casting a spell? Had the cow spoken? Had the cave looked like a house?

I am a farmer.

Where are my other cows?

I grab the butcher knife. I leave the barn and walk to the house. I see the herd grazing in the sun. They were not there before. Were they there before?

Inside she tends a stew. The stew should have beef. Wait, it has beef. But it shouldn’t have beef, I had no stores. Is there beef. Is there beef? Is there stew?

“You rest”, she says, “you’re too old to push yourself so hard. I’ll cure the meat. Where does it go in the ice box?”

“In the back,” I say, “freshest in the back. We have an icebox?”

She freezes.

“Dad? What is your name?”

I don’t know.

“Dad it’s okay. I love you. What is your name.”

I don’t know and I’m so afraid. I tighten my grip on the knife.

“George call the doctor”

“Who is George?” I say.

She starts crying. Silence.

“Did you do this to me?” I say.

“No Dad. You have dementia. No one is doing this to you.”

Dementia? I’m young. I look at my hands, wrinkled and frail. Have they always been that way? But wait, then how did I drag the cow home?

I was young in the barn, I’m sure of it. A man with dementia cannot track down a cow. The cow that spoke. In the cave that looked like a house.

“If George is here, show him to me.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”, she says, her voice wavering.

“Show him to me!”

“He,” she speaks so slowly now. “Could you put the knife down?”

I don’t.

“That wasn’t a cow.” I say at last.

“No Dad, we’ve been over this. The doctor taught me a spell, it will help you. I’m going to cast it. Would that be okay?”

“No,” I say. “No magic! That’s how you’re doing this!”

“I’m not doing anything. The doctor will be here soon she’ll help.”

“Things are changing you are changing them. I have no daughter.”

“Please put the knife down.”

“The cow spoke, I heard it. Cows can’t talk it wasn’t a cow. What was it? What are you? What did you make me kill?!”

She - it - very slowly, very gently, grabs my knife hand. It’s terrified.

“I love you,” it says, “and it would be very good for both of us if you put the knife down.”

“I’m going to end this,” I say.

“Dad,” it says, taking a deep breath. It stands firm and stops crying. “You are not going to slay me. You are going to put down the knife - you haven’t had one in a long time - get a good nights sleep, and in the morning -“

I stab it. I stab it once, twice, three times.

And any moment, my hands will not be wrinkled any more. Cows will not be grazing on the hill. I will make penance with whatever dead person is in my barn. My mind will return to me.

mī propōsal for inglish speling ryform:

The main problem with english spelling, is that the vowels do not consistent or matching what is actually said. A lot of people might say that the biggest problem to standardizing a better english spelling is the diversity of dialects, but what isn't talked about is that in most cases the difference in vowel sounds and the changes are quite consistent, so changing the spelling for 1 dialect will either help every one (standardizing ea vs ee) or be neutral/redundant for some dialects (distinguishing the vowel sounds in cot vs caught). As it stands, there are roughly 11–12 unique monophthongs (single sound) vowels in english: /iː/ fleece

/ɪ/ kit

/e/ (or /ɛ/) dress

/æ/ trap

/ɑ/ lot/father

/ʌ/ strut

/ɜː/ → /ɝ/ nurse (if counted as r-coloured)

/ə/ sofa

/uː/ goose

/ʊ/ foot

/ɔ/ thought (if you have the cot–caught distinction)

That’s 11 pure vowel qualities (or 10 if you’ve merged /ɑ/ and /ɔ/).

Additionally, in some of these cases, the differences in the sound are pretty unnecessary to distinguish, like ʌ and ə, or in some cases ɜ and ɪ/e. As english has 5–7 vowel letters to use, these plus some others should be enough. My idea gets rid of unique semi-vowel letters, but these could be replaced with unique characters (I don't believe that's necessary though):

/ɑ/ -> a

/æ/ -> æ

/e/ -> e

/ɜ(ː)/ -> unsure, probably e. i or e (possibly dependent? or its own char? I don't think it matters that much though, we'll see)

/ɪ/ -> i

/i(ː)/ -> y

/ɔ/ -> o

/ʊ/ -> ø

/ʌ, ə/ -> u

/u(ː)/ -> w

Additionally, diphthongs (two vowels, gliding vowels) are commonly represented as single vowels in english with inconsistent modifying vowels after other consonants. Many of these diphthongs evolved from long vowels in old and middle english during the great vowel shift. I propose that we represent these diphthongs as their long vowel equivalent, in order to make words shorter and more legible while remaining closer to traditional english spelling. Proposed diphthongs use a macron, as is usual when referring to the long vowels which many of these diphthongs evolved from.

ā -> /eɪ/ (ey) this is the usual long a sound, found in the name of the letter a. This diphthong evolved from old english long a

(ē skipped, it just became /i/ (ee))

ī -> /aɪ/ (ay) usual long i sound, found in the word I. evolved from old english long i

ō -> /oʊ/ (ou) same story, think "open" (ō) vs "lot" (o)

ū -> /aʊ/ (au) same story, "house" vs "under"

ȳ -> /juː/ (you) evolved from old french /y/ (ü) sound which had since evolved out of english. As such, this for that time "new" sound was approximated with an yu sound

A rule I will (somewhat arbitrarily) add is that a word cannot end in a long vowel symbol it must end in the ending vowel. eg "know" -> nō -> nōw

#--------------------------------------------

An example sentence which's vowels can be rewritten (but keeping old consonants for now):

"I would know naught of art. I must learn, act, and then take it's ease."

which is now:

"Ī wuld nōw naght of art. Ī must lern, æct, ænd then tāk it's ys."

#--------------------------------------------

The consonant in english need a lot less work, however there are a few things we can do.

drop 2 of the 3 /k/ sounds. in my case I choose to drop q and c, even if droping q and k would be more historically accurate (but that's not what we're going for here): This means that the qu(een) sound is now kw(een)

drop all the silent letters besides gh, which is now x. idk I just think it'd be neat to still have our remnant /x/ sound

r stays in its usual positions even though many accents drop it in a lot of cases — it's still a good marker of where the long vowels might be

x -> ks

(optional)

simplify the digraphs using the macron accent (two symbols): sh -> s̄, ch -> ḵ/ꝁ or maybe x̄, ng -> ḡ or maybe n̄/ṉ, (mentioned before) gh -> x

doing this one separate: BRING BACK THORN!!! th -> þ (I considered ð as well but it'd probably be too much lost space on the keyboard for not enough actual use)

/ʒ/ -> j, /dʒ/ -> J̄

#--------------------------------------------

and in general, just spell stuff more how it's pronounced (this is the point where the spelling depending on accents goes out the window)

#--------------------------------------------

all together, an example sentence could be:

"That quick beige fox jumped in the air over each thin dog. Look out, I shout, for he's foiled you again, creating chaos."

becoming:

"Þæt kwik bāj f(o/a?)ks jumpt in þe er ōver ych þin d(o/a?)g. Løk ūt, Ī shūt, for hy's foy(u)ld ȳw aga(ā)n, kryāting kāos"

#--------------------------------------------

“Wha’ —oh shit not again”

“Again????”

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. 

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. 

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! 

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. 

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. 

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. 

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. 

Sources

Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped 

Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history 

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Deflating in his position was hard but not impossible. In a small voice he called up the catacombic walls and pedestal before him, towards the edifice above him, beneath his skyward feet, "This won't last you know!"