Nothing Makes Sense

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst. 

i never noticed how strong that penguins braid game is

thats a raccoon

I’m trying not to wake my roommate by fucking laughing

finally america didnt fuck something up and call it good.

The leg up at the end tho.

I like the coach, putting his hands on his knees like, “Welp, that wasn’t it.”

this one time we were all over at a friends flat and got wasted and i mean like really completely wasted and when we woke up the next day there stood a fucking ikea shelve in the middle of the room my friend had bought it half a year before but never had the motivation to build it so apparently during that night we built an ikea shelf and to this day none of us can remember doing so