In WoNdErLaNd

In a Hogwarts AU, I like to think that Wei Wuxian would base his House on the outcome of Jiang Cheng’s sorting. He’d argue with the sorting hat all morning if he has to

If both Jiang Cheng and him were in the same House, Yu Ziyuan would definitely hate him more if he outshone Jiang Cheng in any way— she’d even give her son more shit because of that. More so if in they’re in the same House

And knowing Wei Wuxian? Effortlessly brilliant and charming Wei Wuxian with his sunny smiles and fucking smarts?

He may be obnoxious and arrogant at times, but no one can deny that Wei Wuxian is a genius who managed to climb ranks despite not being a Pureblood and just a servant’s son

So, no. Not the same House as Jiang Cheng, even if he’d like to be with his not-brother. Also, not in Jiang Fengmian’s previous House too. Especially when Jiang Cheng was not sorted in that House

Jiang Fengmian happy with Wei Wuxian = Seething Madam Yu, and most likely jealousy and self-deprication from Jiang Cheng poor A-Cheng, whatever he does is not enough

If we’re going by the usual Houses (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin), Jiang Fengmian would either be Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. He doesn’t strike me as a Ravenclaw, and he lacks the ambition to be Slytherin

Yu Ziyuan is Slytherin for sure since she’s full of ambition with enough will and conviction to do whatever it takes to secure her goals

Ravenclaw is what I think Wei Wuxian would choose. It’s the House where his talents and mind can be appreciated, even if he gives people heart attacks and pure rage with some of his outrageous suggestions. It’s also the House where he thinks he can do the least damage to the relationship of Jiangs

Why I like the idea of Wei Wuxian choosing Ravenclaw

I just like the idea of Wei Wuxian finding people he can have debates and intellectual conversations with on various fields of interest in Ravenclaw. I love the idea of people not dismissing his thoughts and rants as the ramblings of the fool he portrays.

I would love to read about people contemplating said ideas and people engaging with him

His rambles on resentful energy and the possible applications of it as a cultivation technique or whatever? Someone is already taking notes on that secretly, and is already thinking on ways on how to approach him on the subject

Wei-xiong, I heard about what happened this morning with Lan Qiren. Say, do you think we could collaborate on this project of mine? I’ve been researching on it since sophomore, and I finally found someone to talk with!

His cooking being used as medicine or a weapon because of how spicy it is?

You know, maybe Wen-guniang can make some medicine or something out of this. Aside from a burnt tongue and burning— ah... Your cooking could be helpful in making people sweat more!

I just love the idea of people being openly admiring and appreciating Wei Wuxian for his smarts. Bonus points since it makes him flustered because he didn’t expect that there are people who actually listen to him and acknowledge him

Why I like the idea of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng in different Houses

Okay look. Jiang Cheng has always been compared to Wei Wuxian ever since he was small— they have been constantly pitted against each other by Madam Yu, and his own father is more openly affectionate with Wei Wuxian than with him

Growing up with a sibling who you’re constantly being compared with, and thinking that your best efforts would never be enough hurts like hell. It would be for the best if Jiang Cheng was given the time and space to grow without being in Wei Wuxian’s shadow

I do think that Jiang Cheng would like to have Wei Wuxian with him in the same House, and I do think that he’d be upset if they weren’t in the same House

It would also be a breath of fresh air for him though, and a chance to make a name for himself in his House without the threat of having to compete with Wei Wuxian even if Wei Wuxian didn’t take it seriously

Besides, it’s not like they can’t visit each other from time to time— it’s not as if some measley curfew could stop them from sneaking out off Hogwarts in the middle of the night. They wouldn’t even let the school policy stop them from going to each other’s or to their sister’s table to eat together

The Untamed x Hogwarts Houses.

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WARNING: Remember that the Hogwarts houses sorting is a really personal thing. We don't percive the houses all the same. Also I made this using the theory of Hybrid Houses (we don't belong explicitly to one house only and share at least a little percentage or others houses traits)

The closer the person is to a house, the most I think they belong there, but they share traits of their secondary house.

Wen Qing was never into the arts and was never really fond of it but she loved it when Jiang Yanli sang. In exchange for Jiang Yanli singing to her, when Jiang Yanli is sad, Wen Qing would do mini puppet shows for her which she used to show to her brother when he was younger.

“Maybe in another life we could have been sworn sisters.”

Hand holding is a must no matter where they go.

Jiang Yanli would often treat Wen Qing by taking her to mini shows or restaurants for mini dates. Wen Qing would always feel guilty since she couldn’t give much but Jiang Yanli would smile and say that having her by her side was enough.

They love cooking together. Jiang Yanli would show her how to make her famous soup and in exchange Wen Qing would show her how to make her special fruit wine.

Late night sessions complaining about their brothers (mainly Wei Wuxian & Jiang Cheng since Wen Ning is innocent)

Wen Qing would help Jiang Yanli pick new outfits for the upcoming seasons. She loved Jiang Yanli in red.

Headcanon that LQR and WWX's Mom are the actual gone wrong WangXian.

Most should know that Cangse Sanren was the complete version/copy and paste character wise to her son. She was outgoing, mischievous and straightforward.

Lan Qiren is stiff, cold, distanced. He's the copy and paste version of LWJ just that LQR has given up the entire love matter long ago.

Now, what some but maybe not everyone know is it that LQR suffered from CSR's teasing quite a lot. She even shaved his beard at some point. Which WWX did later then as well in his initial time at the Cloud Recesses. If all of that doesn't sound like a history repeats itself trope then..

Now we all know how LQR reacted to WWX being close to his copy and paste version - aka Lan Wangji. He couldn't stand it. Why? Because he knew how bad CSR's jokes ended for him and later on WWX's as well? Or did it maybe have a way more emotional and deep meaning than something as simple as that?

It has also canonically been stated that CSR's had many suitors, yet decided or fell for WWX's dad and JFM's old friend.

Now we also know that WWX, initial one, was quite the.. player, he was thought to have quite a few lovers, more than enough ladies that wanted to tie the knot with him as well - Now it's an assumption but I think that with CSR's character being the same to her son's, it is more than likely that she was also misjudged as.. "easy to get".

Stopping everyone to let Lan Zhan take a break

Fighting Jiang Chen to secretly inform him of Wei Wuxian’s whereabouts

Only eating the biscuit so that she could go with Wei Wuxian to find Wen Ning

Sacrificing her own life so that Wei Wuxian would not have to sacrifice his

“Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path.”

me: more like the man who has been PINING for him for 13 YEARS 

people who reviewed the untamed: and they were really good friends :)

*shows a video of LWJ staring out the window for a solid thirty seconds, face entirely unchanged and somewhat disappointed, turns camera around to show Wei Wuxian and the kiddos putting mentos in soda bottles and trying to chuck them at each other, camera pans back to his face, still entirely devoid of emotion*

That one time Jin Ling got stuck up a tree and Wei Wuxian tried to get him down and also got stuck up there and now the other kids are looking for a ladder while LWJ just watches them from the patio, drinking tea. The kids finally give up and shamefully come to LWJ and ask him for help, he gets his husband and nephew down without a word.

The one where he buried 5yo A-Yuan in a pile of bunnies and got scolded by Lan Xichen for it because they might bite him if they get annoyed with him.

There is an entire compilation of rabbits that won’t leave him alone. Climb into his lap. Follow him with every step. Get excited when he comes outside. Hear a guqin and start looking for him. Just. He’s the rabbit whisperer. One of the black ones is just about always with him.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian interacting in any capacity is going to involve a lot of hitting each other and pushing each other over. Only-child kids think they hate each other, but people with siblings are all ‘no no, siblings are just Like That’. People think Yanli is all innocent till they realize she def only tells them to stop when she thinks they might actually get on each other’s nerves. She’s in the ‘boys will rough house and probably only have one collective braincell’ category.

People won’t stop asking him if he speaks so he vaguely makes mentions of having extremely low verbility. They ask if he does sign and he’s not really sure how (lol cause words hard) to explain to them that sign doesn’t really help when the issue is more of him not having much to say tbh. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because then people start being all ‘yeah I get you, I’m pretty dumb too, at least you’re pretty’ and he’s just sorta sitting there with this smacked fish look on his face while WWX can’t stop laughing next to him at the very idea of someone calling his husband slow. Wow. LWJ just sorta finally gets out that he has like two degrees and teaches giqun lessons and it’s amazing. The kids find out about it and can’t stop laughing for hours.

“Hey, why did you name your son ‘sorrow and longing’?” *commense 10 minute video of that time Wei Wuxian got arrested for something to do with a satanic ritual and that’s when LWJ ended up with custody of his adopted son for the next three years and he was in a really angsty mood tbh so it just kinda happened* not a single commenter expected that, even less so when he mentions that they weren’t even together at that point

Films what the viewers think is a prank at first, where he pours a dangerous amount of chili powder into a mug of hot chocolate (with a completely straight face) and then brings it to WWX who takes a drink and makes a dreamy little sigh and goes ‘you always know how to make it just like I want it’ and no one is sure how to react to this video. It’s like watching someone peel and eat a lemon.

You know that video of the girl with the deadpan voice saying she went downstairs to take a shower and there was something brown in the bottom of the tub but it turned out to be potatoes and she’s all ‘not a problem I was expecting, but a problem I can handle’? Okay so that’s how he talks in every video. WWX hands him a baby and he talks to them exactly like that. People ask if he’s good with kids and WWX is all ‘yeah, he’s not just a rabbit whisperer, he’s a baby whisperer too, he’s super great with kids’ *shows LWJ talking to a baby in That Voice while the baby looks at him in utter adoration*

“What’s it like growing up gay? Do you ever get shit for it?” LWJ.exe has stopped working, he has only met one straight couple the same age as him and they’re his sister in law. His brother has three boyfriends, one of which is his brother-in-law. He doesn’t know what a het-er-o-sexual is and he doesn’t want to. Pretty sure his uncle is acearo and hasn’t seen his parents in like 20 years.

LWJ: ‘I apologize for being so emotional in my last video.’ *viewers scrambled to find what video he meant because they ain’t ever seen that man emotional before but end up finding a video where Sizhui told him he loved him and called him papa and gave him a hug while WWX filmed, you can barely see LWJ’s left eye twitching and he pets Sizhui’s head for a moment* viewers are very confused on how this constitutes emotionalism.

Viewers ask to see his brother ‘you know, the one who apparently has three boyfriends’ and LWJ posts a video of LXC passed out on a couch with like three fully grown men all in various states of sliding off onto the floor while the teens play a game of ‘who can stack the most random objects on uncle’s bodies without them waking’ because apparently LWJ and WWX were gone for a weekend and the uncles were supposed to watch the kids (like, all ten of them probably, there’s probably a lot of kids) and it’s Sizhui filming the whole thing cause he’s the ‘good one’ and never does bad things. But he’s also like Auntie Yanli and is totally gonna egg them on from the sidelines.

WWX hands LWJ literally any food and LWJ will eat it all with a completely straight face but as soon as WWX is turned around LWJ is chugging a glass of milk with a look of death on his face. The kiddos straight up can’t stomach his cooking.

😭 someone asks why their hair is all so long and LWJ puts up a video of chatty adorable Sizhui braiding WWX’s hair while he tells him about his day at school. It’s. Too. Cute.

The never ending debate on if LWJ’s deadpan personality/speech is acting or not. No matter how much everyone assures them he’s really just Like That people just aren’t convinced.

Someone points out several times that in their house they have a room with a satanic symbol on the door. That’s just WWX’s home office it’s all good. This is treated as ‘lol WWX is so dramatic’ for like four whole weeks before LWJ posts a video of Sizhui standing outside the office looking nervous. ‘What’s wrong?’ He says. ‘Dad called me into his office.’ Sizhui replies. ‘WWX must be a very strict father,’ the viewers think. That’s not it. That’s not it at all tbh. That video got flagged on like four different platforms and kept getting removed for graphic images and half their viewers don’t. Want. To know. What happened. In that office. (WWX doesn’t even see what the big deal was, that goat was dead when he bought it shut up.)

The others do videos sometimes too lol. Videos include

Jin Ling’s compilation of ‘Mom, what’s for dinner’ and the answer is Always Lotus root and pork rib soup. Someone asks ‘lol she must make that often’ and JL is all ‘lol often, fairly sure she got same-food syndrome, it’s always soup’.

Lan Sizhui at like 17 years old: The one true secret I’ve never told my dads? My most shameful lie? Rabbits aren’t my favorite. My favorite is butterflies. *proceeds to cuddle a bun* I’m sorry Mister Bun, but you just aren’t nearly as pretty as butterflies.

Shaky video of someone sitting on the couch, pointed at NMJ: Brother, while you’re away on vacation with your boyfriends, I don’t plan on leaving this spot for even a minute. NMJ: Oh yeah? What’ll you do when you have to use the bathroom? NHS: Listen, I found a guy on Craig’s List who’s exact fetish is lazy young men who refuse to move and also diapers exist and he’ll be my slave for the week if I let him change me. NMJ: ...I’m taking you with me on vacation. NHS: Yay! NMJ: I’m also taking your phone away. NHS: -wait, no- NMJ: Too late.

Jin Ling: JiuJiu, I spilt soda on your Valentino white belt. Jiang Cheng: *incomprehensible sputtering* -soda on my Valentino white belt-!

Sizhui: *brings Jingyi a bowl of food* Here. Jingyi: Thank you! *takes a bite, face falls in terror, gives Sizhui a betrayed look* Sizhui: Dad’s worried I’m getting sick, he said this would clear my chest cold up. He didn’t consider what horrible things it would do to my bowels instead. Please eat it, he gets sad when I don’t finish what he makes. Jingyi: *glaring* Just dump it down the garbage disposal! Sizhui: *def has a fever if he didn’t think of that* Oh. Good idea.

LWJ: *swaying in place* WWX: This bitch drunk as hell. LWJ: I’m. Gonna comit. A crime. WWX: *crying a little* I love drunk hubby times. A full shot of vodka and he’s not gonna remember any of this. Hey kids, I’m taking Papa on a walk! Sizhui’s in charge!

Zizhen: *sitting quietly on the couch while LSZ, LJY and JL all argue behind him somewhere, covering his mouth with a slightly horrified look* Jingyi: I mean, that’s not fair at all! Who HASNT made out with their cousin at one point or another? Ling: ... Sizhui: You said you’d never bring that up again please shut up. Ling: ...!!!!!! Zizhen: Amazing.

That one time the kiddos hypnotized Jin Ling into thinking he was a kitten. The adults all thought it was really weird that he was finally going through the whole ‘pretending to be an animal’ phase at like ten, but then the kiddos fessed up to learning how to hypnotize and they aren’t sure how to fix it. WWX instigated a rule that no brainwashing is allowed outside his office from now on.

Watching The Untamed now, and how Wang Yibo seems to have a good understanding of at least the Lan Wangji he is playing (given that I do find his acting unexpectedly solid for a character who outwardly gives us so little), I wish someone would ask him when he stopped acting angry with Wei Wuxian. We still got a genuine angry/irritated face in episode 7

but then it was also in this same episode that we got a really soft look from him, when he heard Wei Wuxian's wish as they shared a floating lantern

and I don't think I remember another angry face from him towards Wei Wuxian after that?

Even when Wei Wuxian tied him up with the string in episode 8, he was only mildly exasperated at best.

I think at the time Lan Wangji was just glad for his company. We knew (heck, even big bro Lan Xichen knew) he wanted Wei Wuxian to come, but he probably couldn't justify asking to himself nor did he know how to ask. Oh, Lan Zhan. ‎(´∇｀)

They then share even more adventures after that and Lan Wangji just gets softer and softer like

And don't even get me started when they met again in Qishan. Lan Wangji just lost his home and did not know how his family was doing. The only thing that could get a rise out of him was if Wei Wuxian was in trouble. So then, I think, by that point, our good boy was already in love.

Right, so. Between episodes 7 and 13, yes? WHEN DID YOU START LOVING HIM LAN ZHAN???

Bonus post-falling in love!Lan Wangji

I just lost my home, my leg is broken, I am fast sinking into depression and you still pushed my future husband down a steep slope did you really want to join your ancestors so fast

I can't believe you just suggested I could be in love with someone else you glorious dumbfuck

He touched my forehead ribbon again but that's okay I guess since we're getting married anyway