I double booked two art things in one night, one was a fiberglass show I was really excited to play and the other is the upcoming gallery show. I did not realize they both fell on the same day until now. I feel awful because I keep having to flake on fiberglass insulation shows, the last two were canceled for reasons beyond my control. But wow this probably makes our band look incredibly bad. Im trying to work on not caring how others view me but when I make mistakes I feel so stupid. I can’t help but wonder do they think I’m an idiot or just someone who can’t follow through on anything? I bet everyone understands and I’m hoping nobody is paying that much attention to me anyways

I’m no wave at heart

There’s something really depressing to me about game app advertisements. Extremely depressing. Will not elaborate

I took a long ass nap and had the strangest dream ever. The gist of it being: I got so tired in the dream that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I was trying not to fall asleep in the dream. But as soon as I fell asleep in the dream I woke up in real life. I’ve never had that happen before, it felt very oddly symmetrical

Might remove one of the pieces of fabric idk yet

The slag creature turned out kind of ugly but I love her, I’ve been deeply focused on making things for the upcoming gallery show, I think this might be the last thing I make for it idk

I went out today and actually socialized. While sober! I feel like I messed up just because I’m very awkward and I always feel hyper aware of my own body language/lack of knowledge of what to do in that regard, and I never really know what to say either. On my tired days, this even extends to my friends that I am very comfortable hanging out with. It just takes a lot of effort to try and be social because I feel like something in me is missing, something that everyone else naturally has. A long time ago I would never dare to call anyone my “friend” because I feared they would take it as some kind of embarrassing insult. I guess I’m trying to work on not assuming that