Twelve Sets of Chopsticks

Alrightty folks, it’s that time of the year again for my favorite holiday, WHITE DAY. Yes, again this year I have worked hard. I have spent the past several months meticulously crafting relationships, exceeding expectations, and perfecting my winged eyeliner and TODAY is the day that it all pays off. I made heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s day again this year and coupled them with a personalized, hand-o-made-o heart-shaped cards of about the same size. As is the tradition, I will log the events of the day in real time as they happen. I am absolutely buzzing because I have high expectations and a good feeling about them.

Speaking of expectations, here is the forecast for White Day 2019:

Low chance of gifts from the English teachers as Vancouver sensei tends to forget and EPS tends to not care, BUT I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Will this be the third year in a row that I don’t receive a gift from my friend Dekashita sensei? PROBABLY.

Big hype for the third year teachers since we’re all buddies.

As a general rule, I think it is safe to expect gifts from all the teachers who have their Valentine on display.

Feeling confident that I will get gifts from a few teachers, like sumo sensei and softball sensei, since they have been consistent the past two years. Let’s see if this trend keeps up.

Shimichan is a bit of a wildcard this year, and I feel like he could go either way. What will happen? No one knows!

I was thinking to myself yesterday, “Lolen, what if your expectations are too high? What if, god forbid, you don’t receive ANY gifts?” The thought gave me a chuckle. There is no way. I am Lolen, the Beloved. I am a goddamn gaijin goddess and gifts WILL BE bestowed upon me on this day.

Wednesday, March 13th, 2019 – THE DAY BEFORE WHITE DAY

1:45 pm –I was caught off-guard while eating my lunch when a teacher has come over to give me my first white day gift! How delightful, I think, as I try to thank the teacher with a mouthful of salad. This is not my cutest moment.

Thursday, March 14th, 2019 – WHITE DAY 2019

8:25 am – I have arrived at school at precisely the time I am expected to. 

What they see: a beautiful blonde waltzing in to the teacher’s room. My hair looks good, eyeliner is looking sharp and, oh, could it be? Yes…! Her outfit even matches her nails! 

What they don’t know: ya girl stayed up too late watching Netflix the night before so she’s running off 5 hours of sleep and literally ran to catch the bus this morning. She is beauty, she is grace, she is out of breath. 

8:27 am – I reach my desk and sit down. There are four additional gifts that weren’t here before. This brings the total so far to five, before the bell has even rung! I have confidence that this will be a bountiful harvest.

8:35 am – There is a shuffle as teachers begin to get up and go to their first period homeroom class. Within the chaos, I feel a tap on my back. I turn around and, heavens to Betsy, can it be?? I can hardly believe my eyes that it is actually Dekashita sensei giving me a bag of chocolate! The two year curse has been lifted and my soul can finally be at peace.

8:45 am – Sumo sensei has just come over and dropped a literal handful of chocolate on to my desk. I will award an A for intent, but I have to give a C for execution because come on, my dude, at least put them in a lil baggy or something. Regardless, choco is choco and I will accept your offering graciously.

9:01 am – I have just received two more gifts within a few moments from each other; one from the teacher who sits behind me and the other from softball sensei. So far my predictions have been accurate…will EPS and Vancouver sensei defy my expectations and come through with gifts?? It’s the question on everyone’s mind!

9:07 am – In an interesting turn of events, one of the female P.E. teachers has just given me a gift! This sets a precedent for the women here at school, I am now expecting chocolate tokens of friendship from everyone.

9:50 am – My lovely supervisor came over to give me a little baggie of white day treats! A+ execution from an A+ supervisor, 10/10.

10:32 am – The morning is swiftly passing by. Currently, I have eleven gifts but I haven’t received any more in some time now and I am wondering if this may be it for me this year. There are a few teachers that I have been lowkey watching all morning to see if they will make their move. Like a cat in the shadows, I wait.

10:39 am – JUST as I was about to abandon hope, I am approached by the cute married teacher (he’s cute, he’s married, alas) and handed a nicely boxed gift. Extra bonus points since he spoke to me in English. I didn’t even know he spoke English, today is full of surprises.

10:50 am – I am rereading my post from last year. Boy, what a wild time 2018 was! But, I am noticing that amount of gifts I am receiving and the time at which I am receiving them is REMARKABLY SIMILAR. At 10:35 am last year, I also had 12 gifts. Everything is going according to plan.

10:55 am – Bobsled sensei has just given me a gift! As an interesting note, he has opted to give cookies as opposed to a more traditional chocolate confection. On second thought, this really isn’t all that interesting.

11:04 am – One of the female English teachers just came over to give me a very cute heart-shaped cake sort of thing. I have decided that this will be the first item I eat when the time comes.

11:25 am – I have fourteen gifts now. I am wondering if, out of all the teachers, I have the most gifts. I know it *shouldn’t* be a competition but I am absolutely *treating* it like one in the deepest narcissistic pit of my heart. I think I will walk around the teacher’s room later and take some cheeky peeks at the other teachers’ desks.

11:40 am – Another female P.E. teacher just gave me a nice gift, complete with an English note of appreciation! I seem to have made some new friends in the P.E. department with my cookies this year. Exciting times!

11:45 am – Oh, these are exciting times, indeed! Just now, I have received a gift from Kocho sensei, also known as the principal. Based on his status as principal-sama, I expect that these chocolates must be of the highest kocho quality. This brings my total now to 16. At this point, I am projected to top my number from last year.

11:55 am – I have not seen EPS all day, despite him being here today. Should I call the police? Send out a search party? I’m worried that he is lost or dead. Actually, he is dead. Dead to me until he gives me white day chocolates.

12:30 pm – Another gift from another P.E. teacher! It’s quite a large box as well. I seem to be popular with the P.E. department this year, with about 60% of the teachers reciprocating chocos. My hard work is paying off and my ROI is looking great.

12:35 pm – It’s time for lunch but I’m afraid to leave my desk in case someone steals one of my precious chocos. I feel a strange attachment to them, like a dragon jealously guarding her hoard. But alas—I must go, for I am hungry. Is it strange to go out and buy lunch when I probably have over $100 worth of gourmet chocolate on my desk? I make a mental note of exactly how many chocolates there are; I will not tolerate thieves!

1:45 pm – I’m back from lunch. All seems in order. I also used this opportunity to check out some other desks. I am the clear winner in this battle royale.

2:30 pm – It’s been quiet for a while now. BUT ACTUALLY, as I was typing this, another teacher came over to deliver a gift! CONFIRMED: I am a psychic.

3:30 pm – I was just beginning to think that the gift-getting might be finished, but to my surprise I have received another! It’s getting exhausting trying to keep track of all these gifts. Interesting note: despite all NINETEEN of the gifts that I have received today, I have yet to receive one from any of the male English teachers. Just so we are clear, there are FOUR of them. This must be what the sharp knife of betrayal feels like.

4:10 pm – I couldn’t wait any longer and I ate the heart-shaped cake sort of thing. It was a delicious choice. I also made the executive decision to put all of my snacks in my desk since 1.) I was running out of space on my desk and 2.) At this point it just looks like I’m bragging (I am). Furthermore, as I mentioned above, I have a zero tolerance theft policy and these are my loss-prevention measures.

4:12 pm – I ran out of space in my designated “snack drawer” so I had to take advantage of the space in my lesser-used “lesson plans” drawer.

4:15 pm – O shit waddup, ya girl is officially at TWENTY GIFTS!! My boi Shimichan pulled through in the homestretch. If I can get my-age amount gifts does that mean that this will be my golden year?

4:17 pm – Time is precious and there are only about 45 minutes left in the day. The guy in the office must have felt the minutes squeezing by, because he just came up and gave me gift number 21. There is still time for you, EPS!!

5:01 pm  – Well, it’s time to call it a day and head home. Overall, I have to say I am very pleased with the way this year turned out. Many of my predictions turned out to be true (LOOKING AT YOU, EPS), with the notable exception of Dekashita sensei who actually pulled through this year. Now all that’s left to do is to enjoy my snacks...all TWENTY ONE OF THEM!

5:30 pm – Just got home. Can’t wait to see what my real white date has in store for me tonight <3 

I know that I haven’t been writing here much lately. I could say that I’ve been busy, and truth be told I HAVE been, but that’s mostly a lie when it comes to why I’ve neglected this blog. Actually, I think the honest to god truth is that I’ve just gotten accustomed to my little Japanese life. When I first moved here, everything was new and wild and wonderful; like “WOW the trains play music when the doors close!” or “Can you EVEN BELIEVE that they have vending machines EVERYWHERE??”

It’s been almost two years since I arrived in Japan, if you can believe it, and I’ve increasingly discovered that instead of those moments being magical, they’ve now become mundane. These days I find myself rushing to get on to the train before the music finishes or left feeling disgruntled when the prices at the closest vending machine are slightly higher than the one before.

This is not good, nor is it bad. It simply just is.

It’s a little bit like traveling in an airplane. You feel the rush at take-off, but after reaching a certain altitude, you just move. And life, similar to an airplane, moves fast. Yeah, sometimes there might be a bit of turbulence, but nothing enough to fall out of the sky. Every day I learn a little bit more about culture and language and it keeps me up in the air. The physics of lift and the elasticity of the human brain never cease to amaze me.

My daily life has become a comfortable routine. I’ve traveled all over the world, but still what I find myself wanting to talk about are the minor nuances happening around me, like “so-and-so got a haircut and it’s BAD,” or “omg X and Y started dating,” or “guess what EPS said in class today!” It’s not that I’m unhappy with all this complacency; I just know that no one else wants to hear about it. More backstory is needed to make sense of those stories so they get swept away in the tides of time with the rest of my passive thoughts.

But I still do have moments where I stop to reflect about where I am and how happy I am to be here in this wild and wonderful metropolis. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I actually did it. I moved to Tokyo, Japan. This isn’t a vacation, this is my life. I moved into a tiny little apartment, I set up my bank account and cell phone and internet, I’ve mastered the trains, I’ve gone from illiterate to functional, I am responsible for all of me and everything I do, I’ve created a life for myself and it feels so satisfying.

Here we go, people. White day is just around the corner and I’m all kinds of excited. As a reminder, White Day is a Japanese holiday that occurs exactly one month after Valentine’s Day. What separates the American and Japanese versions of Valentine’s day is that, in Japan, only the women give out small tokens of appreciation like chocolate or other sweets to the (mostly) men in their lives, including friends, family, coworkers, bosses, or someone else who is special to you ;)

Now, as much joy as I get from giving, I certainly cannot deny that I get just as much, if not more, from receiving, which is why it’s fortunate that Japan also has White Day a month later for those men to return the favor. Of course, no one is REQUIRED to give out anything on either day, but because I wanted to maximize my returns this year I decided to raise my Valentine’s day game in a big way.

Last year, I gave out small, single pieces of chocolate with little cards that were mostly afterthoughts to only some of my male coworkers. WELL. This year, I improved my cards and also made heart shaped sugar cookies with pink frosting and gave them out EVERYONE. So that’s 50 cards and 50 (super delicious) cookies. Oh yes, I blew the competition out of the water. Cute AND delicious? “Oh, oh my god, you MADE these cookies?? Get outta town.” I even did my nails to have little hearts on them for the occasion. “Who is she?” they all must think. I’m Lolen sensei and I’m here to exceed all your expectations.

2018 HOPES AND PREDICTIONS:

- I have high hopes for Evil Pocket Sensei and Vancouver sensei this year, especially since they are the only two male English teachers. However, after last year’s disappointment with Old Pocket Sensei, I am not holding my breath.

- Will Dekashita sensei redeem himself after saying he would get me a gift last year and then DIDN’T? Oh, did you think I forgot, Dekashita sensei? I didn’t.

- I am expecting gifts from both softball coaches, since they both nervously smile at me whenever we pass in the hallway.

- Will I get anything from Shimichan? He claimed one time that we are “best friends,” but will that translate into treats??

- Cute physics sensei will either give gifts to everyone or no one, but I’m placing my bets on everyone because he is too much of a flirt not to.

- The Sumo sensei has kept my Valentine’s day card taped to his desk. Could this mean reciprocation??

STAY TUNED! Keeping with tradition, I will keep a running log of the day.

March 13, 2018 – 12:21 pm

I’ve received my first White Day gift, they appear to be fancy marshmallows. They are from a nice History teacher who used to work at my friend Kelly’s school. But WOW, a whole day early! What could this mean? I am hypothesizing that perhaps he has a different gift for school nurse that he intends to give tomorrow. School nurse is very pretty and probably my most fiercest competition for White Day gifts this year. LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

March 14, 2018 – WHITE DAY BEGINS

8:20 am – I have arrived at school. There are FOUR gifts on my desk! I am also immediately greeted by two of the teachers who sit in my section, including one of the softball senseis, and they give me gifts as well before I can even take my coat off. My current total is now seven. Looks like it’s gonna be a good haul this year. One of the gifts has no name on it…WHO COULD IT BE FROM??

8:31 am – Homeroom has started. Evil Pocket sensei comes over to talk about the class we will have next period. No chocolate. Does he notice the pile of gifts on my desk? I hope so.

8:36 am – Two more teachers drop by my desk before first period to deliver treats, one being my friend SHIMICHAN! We truly ARE best friends! I AM PLEASED.

8:45 am – First period starts. Today, we will be watching the Lion King. Everything the light touches is my chocolate, except that shadowy place known as Evil Pocket sensei’s desk. You must never go there, Lolen!

9:40 am – First period has ended and now I am back at my desk. There is another box! I hardly have time to even see who it is from because I have another class to go to right now which I had completely forgotten about until the JTE I will be teaching with comes over to get me. I am an expert at handling situations like this, so off we go to class and she is none the wiser.

10:35 am – Second period has gone well. We played Jeopardy, or ~aMeRiCaN qUiZ gAmE~ as my students like to call it. I have also just been informed that it’s likely that I’ll be teaching the first years next year. I’m upset about this. I tell my supervisor that I would much rather keep my current schedule since I have no intention of recreating all of my worksheets from scratch. They have now gone into one of the secret rooms for an emergency meeting. Meanwhile, I have received two more gifts from teachers who I hardly ever talk to. My current total is now twelve.

11:25 am – Some of the English teachers are still having their emergency meeting about my schedule, but good news! Sumo sensei came over and gave me some chocolate! Aside from my looming schedule troubles, this day is going GREAT.

12:02 pm – It’s nearly lunchtime. I haven’t seen Vancouver sensei all day. Where is he? Maybe he ran to the store because he forgot to get gifts for White day. I am losing hope for Evil Pocket sensei, but I suppose it’s to be expected. He IS evil, after all.

1:45 pm – I talk to Dekashita sensei for a little while about my recent trip to Osaka and leave the conversation empty-handed. No chocolate again this year, huh Dekashita sensei? Okay, fine. No, really, it’s cool. Whatever. BUT I WON’T FORGET ABOUT THIS.

2:56 pm – I have talked to my supervisor about my schedule for next year and I believe we have reached an agreement. Good, I am relieved. The day is winding down now that classes are just about finished so I’m thinking that there won’t be any more treats handed out today. Oh well.

3:30 pm – Bobsled sensei has just claimed credit for the nameless gift that was left on my desk this morning! Also, another teacher in my section has just given me a gift, which now makes Vancouver sensei the ONLY TEACHER in our section who has not given me anything. Why!

3:45 pm – Cute Physics sensei just came over to talk to ask for my help about something. I asked him where my White Day chocolate was. He ran back to his desk and returned with a small chocolate...“Very delicious chocolate for Lolen sensei ONLY!!” I am absolutely certain that this is a lie, but I accept the chocolate graciously.

5:10 pm – It’s now time for me to go home. My grand total for today was FOURTEEN gifts. Overall, I’m pleased with the day. As much as I tried to lower my expectations, though, I can’t help but feel disappointment in both Vancouver sensei and Evil Pocket sensei. Lucky that I have all this chocolate to eat cause I’m feeling PRETTY DAMN SALTY. Is it possible that they simply forgot about the holiday? Maybe I will receive something from them tomorrow.

Thursday, March 15, 2018 – THE DAY AFTER WHITE DAY

8:15 am – Today is the day after White day. I am looking forward to eating all of the snacks that I have collected. I arrive at my desk and see a new addition to my stockpile! Vancouver sensei, could this be from you?? ….Alas, NO…Instead, it’s from one of the female teachers who said she really enjoyed my cookie on Valentine’s Day, how sweet!

8:32 am – Shimichan complimented my hairstyle today: “Lolen new hair!” Actually, it’s the same hair that I’ve had my entire life, but thank you for noticing it. MY FRIEND <3

8:45 am – School nurse has just come up to me and given me a muffin! I am accepting this peace offering as a truce from one beautiful woman to another.

8:53 am – I ate the muffin and it was delicious. Dammit!

8:57 am – I have just now noticed that the muffin was store bought as opposed to homemade. I retain my position as Queen of this school.

1:41 pm – Evil Pocket sensei came over to talk to me. I asked him where my White day chocolates were. He said he ordered them online and they will be here next week. I don’t believe him. Who orders chocolate online anyway? I bet he thinks that I’ll forget. I WON’T. He assures me that he is telling the truth. I will keep everyone posted on this matter.

Thursday, March 22, 2018 - A WEEK AND ONE DAY AFTER WHITE DAY

5:15 pm - OH. MY. GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. EVIL POCKET SENSEI WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. I was just about ready to pack up and go home for the day, when he called me over to his desk. How curious! So I walked over and he starts to pull something out from his bag. It was a box of cookies! "I'm sorry it's so late, but here is your white day gift!" This is a MIRACLE. I give him a look that says 'I'm sorry I doubted you, but I truly am dumbfounded. I was so sure that he was full of shit.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018 - A WEEK AND SIX DAYS AFTER WHITE DAY

My wonderful friend Diane works at an agricultural high school and, a couple months ago, a few of us went to her school’s bunka sai, or culture festival.

Her students were lovely and we got to see the farms where they grow all of their crops; they even had many kinds of fruits, vegetables, and plants for sale at really *nice* prices so OF COURSE I bought a whole bunch of plants.  

Fig. 1: An artistic rendering of my plants.

After the bunka sai, we all went to Dianes house and Shota made us Japanese soup using the ingredients we got (NOT MY PLANTS THO). It was great! Nice work, Chef Shota!

We laughed, we cried (no we didn’t), what a day it was. At long last, we all parted ways. We thanked Diane for her hospitality and headed home.

But this post isn’t about Diane’s culture festival.

You see, a week or so after the culture festival, Shota and I were lounging around and as I was admiring my plants I suddenly noticed something that was distinctly NOT plant. And, glory be to the heavens, I was SHOOK.

“OH my god WHAT is THAT!” I yelled, a little too loud to be appropriate for the size of my apartment.

“nani nani nani……OH. My God.”

It was a spiky black caterpillar!

This little guy had hitched a ride on one of my new plants and had been living the good life in my apartment, completely unnoticed by me, for the better part of a month. But now here he was, munching on my pansies like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now, I was shocked, but I was certainly not disgusted. Shota could see this, prompting him to say “please don’t take him as a pet.”

I took him as a pet.

I thought he was kind of cute and besides, he wasn’t hurting anything (not actually true, he was devouring my pansy plant) so, half due to compassion and half due to curiosity, I let him be.

I named him Choo Choo, because he moved fast like a train and also because the Japanese word for butterfly is chou chou. Based on his markings, I guessed that he might be some sort of Fritillary butterfly, although it was hard to determine exactly which species he was. He grew quickly and, although I had a few minor moments of panic where I couldn’t find him, he never left the pansy plant.

That is, until it was time for him to transform.

One day, I came home and I noticed that Choo Choo was hanging from the pot of another plant. I knew that this meant it was time for him to go to bed, if you know what I mean. Sure enough, the next morning, my little spiky friend had transformed into an ugly, lumpy brown chrysalis.

Side note: Butterflies build chrysalises, moths build cocoons. Also, if you didn’t know how caterpillars turn into chrysalises then, boy, you’re in for a rollercoaster of knowledge because it is WILD.

According to the Google, caterpillars spend about 1-2 weeks in their chrysalis stage. So I waited. And I waited some more. This apparently proved to be false (at least for this species), because even after two weeks there was nothing. I wasn’t sure what to do, because at this point I was getting ready to return to America for the holidays, so I told Shota to just keep an eye on him and let me know if anything changes. But nothing did. For the whole two weeks I was gone!

I get home and Choo Choo is still there, dormant in his chrysalis. However, a few days later I noticed a change. The chrysalis had gone from a tawny brownish color to a dark, dark, almost black color. So here I am frantically googling things thinking he might be dead, but as I inspect closer I can see that the dark colors actually have patterns to them and they might, in fact, be wings.

I decided to relax and go to bed because I had to work the next day.

Work was fine, thanks for asking.

Anyways, I got home and JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH look who was out and about!

Choo Choo had finally completed his transformation into a beautiful butterfly!

I gave him some sugar water and oranges and I think he was pleased. After some more educated googling, I determined that he was most likely a Chinese Tropical Fritillary butterfly. Look how pretty he is!

Of course, a butterfly doesn’t belong in an apartment, especially one as small as mine is, so I had to say goodbye to my beloved Choo Choo. I opened the door to my balcony on a sunny day and he flew off into the big, wide world. I felt like such a proud momma :’)

Bye Bye, Choo Choo! I hope you live a good butterlife!

It’s getting colder in Tokyo these days. Today is 12 degrees Celsius, whatever that means. In order to stave off the chills, I’ve been looking at pictures from my trip to Okinawa that fill me with warm happy memories and make me feel nice and toasty:

Look how warm!

We are pineapples who don't even need to wear coats!

Warm on the inside AND the outside!

As I was going through these pictures I was reminded of something that happened. As per the previous post (or if you know anything about me at all), you know my love for the aquatic world and its creatures runs deep. I’ve always loved exploring tidepools and the far reaches of the shoreline looking for critters under rocks and in crevices. I also have a great eye for spotting unique and beautiful seashells that I enjoy collecting.

(Note: I did not take this fuzzy guy home with me.)

Maybe not your typical “girl’s day out at the beach,” but I don’t tan so working on my beachy glow is immediately off the table as far as beach activities are concerned anyways (you may have noticed my FULL COVERAGE swimwear, this chick isn’t taking any chances), but I digress.

The beaches in Okinawa were breathtaking, and Shota took me to this one beach that was particularly beautiful and secluded.

Shota, knowing me well, had planned ahead and brought snorkeling gear for us to enjoy the scene beneath the surf as well as above it. Fantastic! The reef stretched out for what seemed like miles. We spent hours swimming around, pointing out different kinds of corals and fish, “みてみて!なにこれ?” (“Look, look! What’s this?”) and that’s when I saw it:

A big, beautiful spider conch shell sitting on the bottom.

If you are unfamiliar with spider conches, here is a helpful image:

So naturally, I picked it up.

I examined the shell. It was slightly dirty but honkin big and, as far as I could tell, it was unoccupied. At this point, we were about half a mile away from shore so, because of it’s size, it was quite taxing to bring it back to the beach with me. But true to form, I always accomplish my goals and then there I was sitting on the beach with my prize.

We took some pictures of me with my shell.

I made some “phone calls” between scraping off the barnacles with pieces of dead coral. I called Laurie, the Cohasset harbormaster, many times to report some “irresponsible youths on a 13” Boston Whaler.” She said she would look into the matter.

At last, we had exhausted the photo opportunities as well as ourselves, and the three of us (Shota, the shell and I) began the hour-plus journey home.

It was nearly dusk by the time we got home. We had just begun unloading the car from the day’s activities when I go to check on my shell. Only, much to my horror, when I picked it up I found that there were TWO EYES STARING RIGHT BACK AT ME

JUST

LIKE

THIS:

The way I screamed nearly made Shota drop everything he was carrying and he rushed over wondering what sort of trauma had just befallen me. “LAUREN, DOSHIMASHITA KA” (“LAUREN, WHAT HAPPENED”) and I showed him the unwitting passenger we had taken with us. His reaction was decidedly calmer than mine had been, perhaps because he was expecting something far worse, but all he could say was “OH.....WHAT is THAT!!”

Clearly, Shota, that is the rightful owner of this shell.

I knew, at this point, I had to act fast. Fortunately for this already-quite-unfortunate conch, our AirBnB was right on the beach, so we took her (yes, it was a “her”—I researched the topic quite extensively after this ordeal) down to the shoreline and I put her in the water—face-up so I could see that 1.) she was even still alive and 2.) my curiosity got the best of me and I could not rest until I witnessed how the hell those things flip back over.

We waited.

And waited some more. Man, it felt like ages.

Figuring she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, I became distracted by the other things in our temporary backyard and wandered around a bit. Imagine my disappointment when I finally came back to the spider conch only to see that she had already flipped over! At least the good news here was that my little buddy was still alive (my curiosity would later be quenched by watching several spider conch youtube videos that night).

It had gotten dark. Shota and I headed inside. We recounted the day to each other and laughed about the situation and slept in good conscious knowing that the spider conch would live on.

Of course, this incident didn’t stop me from beachcombing the rest of that week—only now, I would be a little more careful to make sure the shells I was collecting had nobody home.

To be clear: we are talking about the animal, not the delcious cheesy snack.

So. Kingyo--or Goldfish as we say in English--are my favorite animals. I’ve always kept them as pets and loved watching them in ponds. However, since moving to Japan I haven’t quite had the resources to start up my own tank. Sad!

Luckily, Japan loves goldfish too and I’ve had a whole bunch of really cool opportunities to see some really beautiful fish!

To give you a better understanding of my favorite fish, let me tell you a few things about them (For the sake of this blog post, I won’t be talking in scientific terms but will instead use more common language)! The first thing you have to understand about goldfish is that there are essentially three different “kinds” of goldfish that you typically see. Those kinds are:

Common goldfish, Fancy goldfish, and Koi

Common goldfish

(PSA to please not put your goldfish in a bowl like this!)

Common goldfish are exactly what you think they are. Just your regular orange fish, although they do range in color from black to olive to pale yellow and white and everything in between. These are the guys that you see at pet stores for about 15 cents each and they tend to have an (unfair!) reputation of being short-lived and disposable. This is probably because, due to their hardiness, availability and price, they are often used as feeder fish—meaning if you have a hungry predator pet (like a turtle) that requires live food to survive, you probably go to Petco a few times a month and stock up on those 15 cent lil guys. However, given the right conditions (AKA if your lil buddy is living in the proper sized aquarium rather than a miserable existence in one of those so-called “goldfish bowls”), it is not unheard of for regular goldfish to live many years and sometimes grow to obscenely and unusually large sizes. 

In Japan, these fish are also famously featured in the festival game 金魚すくい, 金魚掬い( Kingyo-sukui), which means “goldfish scooping.” It’s a common game for children where they use a paper net to catch as many goldfish as they can before the paper deteriorates in the water. 

Whatever the children can catch in bowl, they can then take home as their prize! I played this game once and it was a lot of fun, but surprisingly difficult. I did catch myself a friend, but I decided to release it back into the pool with the other fish because I didn’t have a cozy tank for it to come home to!

Fancy goldfish

Oh, these guys are my little loves! Fancy goldfish is kind of an overhead term that is actually comprised of many different varieties of strange-looking goldfish! They have been selectively bred over hundreds of years of fishkeeping to accentuate various bizarre deformations such as bulging eyes, brain-like growths on their heads, and many other unusual traits. However, almost all fancy goldfish can be distinguished by their split “fantail” and more egg-shaped body compared to their common cousins. Similarly to their common cousins, though, fancy goldfish also come in a vibrant multitude of colors, but my favorites are the red and orange ones. While some varieties of fancy goldfish appear kind of ugly and alien-looking, others can be supremely beautiful. I just love these little suckers.

These are the kinds of goldfish that I love keeping, partly because they are truly stunning fish, but also because they have really wonderful personalities (and YES, fish CAN have personalities!). Here is a picture of my beloved pet fancy goldfish (Ryukin variety!), Lips, may god rest his fishy soul RIP.

Fancy goldfish are everywhere in Japanese culture, specifically in art. I often see them on stationary, fans, and other textiles as well and, of course, I always buy things with goldfish on them because I am a huge sucker. Recently, I was super lucky to actually catch a fancy goldfish ART EXHIBIT with Shota!! It was called the Artaquarium (he really knows the way to my heart) and it was so so cool!! 

There were dozens of really intricate aquarium tanks with different species of fancy goldfish (there were other kinds of fish too) and I was super fangirling out over them. I don’t think Shota knew what the difference between a telescope eye goldfish and a celestial eye goldfish is (spoiler: Telescopes have bulging eyes that face outward whereas Celestials have bulging eyes that face upwards) but agreed that it was an awesome exhibit.

Koi goldfish

Finally, we have Koi. These are the super big and beautiful fish that you often see in garden ponds. While koi look just like bigger goldfish, they are actually considered an entirely different species that common and fancy goldfish! It’s true that they are both in the same family—goldfish and koi are both species of carp—however, their ancestral heritages are not at all the same! Goldfish were developed nearly two thousand years ago in ancient China by selectively breeding Prussian carp. Koi, on the other hand, were developed in Japan from the common carp and became a popular hobby in the 1820s. Today, there are over 20 recognized varieties!

SO, what is the physical difference? Well, of course if you have ever seen koi fish in a Japanese garden, you might know how enormous they can get. On average, a koi can reach up to about 3.3 feet in length, but goldfish, which are generally smaller, usually only grow to about a foot in length. Koi also have little whisker-like things called barbles at the corner of their mouths which they use to sift around the bottoms on ponds. Koi fish also have a reputation for being much longer-lived than their common and fancy cousins—likely due to the fact that people who have koi often keep them in large ponds with adequate filtration where they can live a happy life mucking about in the silt and detritus, versus your regular carnival fish that you put in a makeshift bowl made from a two-liter bottle of diet coke (yes I did this, but we all make mistakes). Generally, koi have a lifespan of around 50 years but with proper care they can live to be over 100 years old; the oldest koi fish on record was a fish named Hanako who lived to a be a whopping 225 years old! Maybe you are thinking that I am “full of carp” (LOL) because there is no way a fish could live that long! BUT her age was scientifically verified by counting the rings on her scales, similar to how you would count the rings on a tree to determine it’s age.

One time, I was with some friends of mine wandering around a part of Tokyo called Ueno and we just happened upon this enormous and wonderful KOI SHOW. Like, it was this whole giant area filled with 50 gallon tubs of water that all had between one and three koi in them and it was marvelous. 

These koi were slightly different than your run-of-the-mill koi that you might see in any old pond—these were competition-bred, show quality koi, meaning that, rather than the <$10 you might pay at a pet store, these guys can fetch a price tag anywhere between $1,000-$10,000. Of course, many things can affect this price, like color, pattern, age, and size. The most expensive koi fish was sold for today’s equivalent of 2.2 MILLION DOLLARS. Let that number sink in for a second. That’s the cost of my college education EIGHTY TIMES; or the cost of a house in my hometown—and a really nice one at that. Not sure if there were any fish of quite that caliber at this event I found myself at, but damn, that must have been some fish.

CONCLUSION / LIFE UPDATE 

OKAY so now y’all know everything about goldfish. Congrats on making it through this post, it took me a long time to write. SO LONG, in fact, that I have a very important edit/announcement to make since I began writing this post, and it’s that I finally splurged and got MY OWN fish tank here in Tokyo! Its 60 liters (Liters? What are those?) and it’s the new forever home for two very genki ryukin goldfish. The red and orange one is named Shippo, which means ‘tail’ in Japanese and the little calico is named Sprinkles, which means ‘jimmies’ in Bostonian. They are both slightly (re: very) naughty and love messing up my plants and have also eaten every cleaner shrimp that I have attempted to introduce into the tank ecosystem.

That’s the name of my blog. I’m sure you know that since you’re here right now, but maybe you don’t know why.

When I applied to this program, I didn’t tell anyone. It was only after I got through the first stage of interviews that I started telling the essential people, like my family and close friends, about this crazy, life-altering thing I was attempting to do. Among that inner circle of people was my (now ex) boyfriend, who took it as well as anyone could when they’re told that their significant other could be moving to the other side of the world: upset, but more or less supportive of my (often outrageous) ambitions. 

Not really knowing what to say to make the situation seem better, I said “Don’t worry! It’s only for one year. I’ll send you a new set of chopsticks every month, it will be fun!”

To which he said “Yeah, but a year is still a long time…plus what am I gonna do with 12 sets of chopsticks?”

A good point! It was a ridiculous suggestion, but also kind of funny at the same time so it became one of those inside jokes that came up every now and again leading up to my departure. “Think of all the wonderful chopsticks you will have!” and I pledged that I actually would pay the postage and send twelve sets of chopsticks.

Of course, I only ever sent one pair of chopsticks. You can probably connect the dots as to why.

At that moment in time, I had hardly been gone a month. It was the height of my feelings of culture shock and moving frustrations but, to be honest, I hardly remember anything from then because it was all such a blur. However, I do remember thinking: what am I gonna do about that damn blog name?

A trivial thought, but sometimes you have to focus on trivial things so you don’t go mad with all the chaos around you. I looked at the one pair of chopsticks I currently had—bamboo with pink cherry blossoms on the ends, a gift from my wonderful, wonderful host family—and it filled me with happy memories of my time living with them.

That’s when I realized that I didn’t have to change the blog name.

Instead, I would treat myself to one new pair of chopsticks each month. At the end of the year, I would have twelve sets of chopsticks, each with a different story to tell about my time here. If nothing else, I’d save money on postage. Silver linings are everywhere if you just take some time look around!

I’ve stayed true to the promise I made to myself twelve months ago and so, without further ado, here are my beloved chopsticks:

I promise I will write a longer post about each individual pair, but that’s going to be super time consuming and right now I have to go to teach a class HAHA.

Anyways, it’s no secret now that I’ve recontracted to stay for another year, so once again my blog name is problematic. I’m not too worried about that this time around, though. I’ve decided that to keep the blog name and keep collecting—I’ve already got my pairs for August and September—but now my bigger question is, what am I gonna do with all these damn chopsticks?

RELEVANT VOCAB:

Sorry I’ve been so bad at updating my blog lately!! I went on two big trips (Boston and Okinawa) and I just haven’t had time to sit down and write. There’s also the very sad story about how I spilled juice on my MacBook and sent it to laptop heaven, making it understandably harder to post.

Anyways, I’m back in school now so hopefully we will return to our regularly scheduled programming B-)

Sports day was recently!

The closest thing that I can compare Japanese Sports Day to is like a really amped up version of American Field Day.

Let’s start with the shirts. There are seven classes in each grade at my school and the classes were all assigned a color to be worn by all three grades (so for example all of the students in classes 101, 201, and 301 wore yellow shirts. Homeroom teachers wore the color associated with their class.), and they were a BIG DEAL. The colors were as follows:

Class one: yellow

Class two: pink

Class three: green

Class four: blue

Class five: black

Class six: red

Class seven: purple

Although the students had to wear the color associated with their class number, each homeroom was able to design their shirts to their liking. Some of them had puns based on brands like Vans and The North Face, while others just had sports mottos or words of encouragement. All of them had English on them (yay!) and most of them were wrong (“My best moment in the life” …so close!). I was hoping some of my third year students would give me a shirt so I could cheer on their class, but alas! I did not receive. HOWEVER, I did get shirt from class 203, which means I wore….GREEN! I also wore my Boston Red Sox hat and sunglasses, which all the students though was *METCHA KAWAII* (“LOLEN. Today is…..very AMERIKAJIN!”). Girl, I know it. B-)

OKAY now on to the events. There were five main events featured on sports day. Some you may have heard of, others maybe not so much:

Class relay

Yeah, this is one that everyone knows right? The class relay race! This was really fun to watch and I enjoyed cheering on the students as they ran by. Even if I didn’t know each student’s name, I could still yell out their T-shirt color with a GAAAAANBAREEEEE and they would be excited. Speaking of the students running by, goddamn were some of these kids fast. One kid in the purple class has got to be like the fastest kid on the planet. Oh man though, this one girl in the red class took a real nasty tumble on her go-around the track and it looked like her body was as bruised as her ego. As you may be able to guess, purple team came in first and red team came in last.

Big Jump Rope

It’s a jump rope! It’s big! It’s the big jump rope! Just like recess in elementary school, each class lined up and jumped the big rope as many times as they could. However, unlike recess in elementary school, these kids could jump like a hundred consecutive times (aside from Dekashita sensei’s homeroom class who did exceptionally terrible in this event, never managing to jump more than twice in a row, which probably deserves an award in itself)

Tug of War

Tug of war is another one that everyone knows. They had this enormous rope and had the grades take turns tugging war on each other. Of course, the third year students won, which I attribute largely in part to the enormous Sumo club kids in the back holding down the fort, but I have to say the first years put up a pretty solid fight.

Mukade Race

Okay this one requires some explanation. Mukade means centipede in Japanese. But mukade aren’t just any old centipede, they are these monsters that hide in your shoes and go bump in the night. They bite, they sting, and they are terrible creatures (thank god I’m in the city where they are less common). So anyways, the fourth event was a centipede race. The students broke up into groups of 8 within their classes then tied their legs together and had to race across the field. There were definitely a lot of scraped knees in this one. I don’t know who won this race, I don’t even know if they were keeping score because it was just chaos in every direction.

??????

Finally there was this race. I have no idea what this race was called but it was absolutely bananas. The students broke up into groups of 8 within their class (like the mukade race) but I saw that one student had his shoes off. Here I am naively thinking that this kid just prefers to run with no shoes, but turns out there was one student from EVERY group without shoes. They all lined up at the start line with the barefoot student at the back of the line and then bent over. When the race started, the barefoot student JUMPS on top of the other student and RUNS ACROSS THEIR BACKS. Once the barefoot student has crossed another student, that student would then run to the front of the line and that’s how the race progressed. I have never seen anything like this and you probably haven’t either, and I unfortunately didn’t take any photos so here is a drawing approximation:

Anyways, sports day was a really fun day and everyone enjoyed themselves. I almost had myself a happy cry when at the end of the day, all of the third year students were talking a photo of the entire grade and they were like “LOLEN….YOU COME TOO. LOOOOOLEEEEEN PHOTOOOOOOO!!!” so I jumped in the photo with them, I love my lil nuggets :’)

See if you can find me!

Yeah, so I got glasses! It all started when I was out with my friends one night a few weeks ago. A friend of mine had recently gotten new glasses and I tried them on ~ironically~ to see how kawaii I would look with glasses. However, when I put them on I immediately realized “oh hot damn, I can see everything now!” This prompted everyone to say “lol you should get your eyes tested, huh” so after a few days of grumbling and putting it off, I did.

Turns out I do need glasses! It’s not a very strong prescription, but I can see leaves and street signs again! Also, good news: they are MUCH cheaper here than in the states. It only cost me like, $80 for the eye test, frames and lenses and I got it all done in a single day. Even MORE good news: I do, in fact, look SUPER kawaii in glasses.

I went strawberry picking with some of my sensei friends yesterday and it was so much fun! 

I could not believe how perfect literally every single strawberry was. They were also super sweet and delicious!!

In Japanese, they call strawberry picking ichigo gari, which translates to “strawberry hunting” which is so cute, cause I just imagine the strawberries running away when they feel threatened. Or super excited that they were CHOSEN.

After that, we visited a shrine in the nearby area and explored it for a little while. We “fished” for fortunes and prayed to trees and did lots of other fun things.

Featured above: Dance sensei, Cooking sensei, Cool sensei, and Lauren sensei.

My friend Brittany will be here really soon and I am so excited to show her around the city!! 

Of course there is so much to do in Tokyo, but I have no idea what to *actually* do when she gets here. So naturally, I turned to the experts in this situation: my students

Yes, it’s true! Lauren Sensei needs your help!! 

They loved this worksheet because 

1) The little cartoon of myself that I drew in the corner there is ULTRA KAWAII (bonus points because I wore that outfit when we did the worksheet too, they went nuts) 

2) They got to work in groups, which they enjoy because they can do 20% work and 80% chatting with their friends about EXTRA CURRICULAR things (I know you’re talking about your boyfriend in the next class, Momoka) 

3) I allowed them to use their smartphones for ~research~ and it was like Christmas morning in the classroom. It was funny, I was like “does everyone have a smartphone? We will use them today in class for research!” and everyone pulls out the latest iPhone 7 or 8 or whatever number Apple is on now and I was like wow you all have better phones than me pfft. I was surprised to because most of them were actually researching their assigned neighborhoods, although I did see a couple cheeky text messages being sent (oh yes, you thought I didn’t notice, did you MOMOKA???)