rhea

ㅤ ❝ 𝒊 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕. ❞

── about me.

── you drew stars around my scars.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

but i will be back to updating the fic regularly after that 🫡 to all the people who have been reading my fic, thank you so SO much, it means the world to me!🥹💌

why did he agree to this?

mark wakes up with renjun's oversized moomin plushie staring down at him from the shelf above. for a split second, he swears he can see pity in its eyes.

the alarm on the bedside table gleams 7:15 a.m., and like he thought before—

why did he agree to this?

as if on cue, jeno enters the room, mouth halfway open. he snaps it shut when he sees the elder awake.

"good, you're up hyung. jun's making breakfast, and we gotta leave fast."

he says over his shoulder, already halfway out the door, his fresh cologne filling the room up. mark groans, rubbing his eyes and running a hand over his face before slowly getting out of bed.

to be honest, he only signed up for the seminar, or whatever it's called, because he was curious. but curiosity, he’s learned, has its cons too. like waking up at 7 am every alternate day for the next 5 weeks.

why did he have to be so curious about interdisciplinary case studies under applied ethics?

mark drags himself into the shared kitchen, freshly showered and dressed. the smell of eggs and spam greets him like a warm hug, renjun already at the stove, flipping the eggs with his usual calmness.

there’s his everyday coffee cup, cream-colored, chipped at the edge but still his favorite, sitting on the counter, steaming and filled to the brim. it’s hot and sweet, but not too sweet. just the way he likes it.

"thanks guys, you didn’t have to."

he murmurs, taking a sip. a small, inaudible sigh escapes him as the warmth spreads all over his body, the anxiety over his unfinished assignment slowly fading away.

"figured you were gonna sleep in late due to last night, so jeno made it for you."

renjun says, not looking up from the stove.

mark smiles gratefully at that, settling into the chair comfortably, fully absorbed by the warmth of the coffee.

"hey, chingusss!"

haechan bursts in, fully energetic to a concerning level, dressed in his signature black and red combo.

"how are you so energetic this early, hyuck? And since when are you excited for a seminar?"

"because we're going to be seeing—judging actually, a lot of people, duh. i’m not excited for the seminar itself, though. that's just for the credits. i'm excited because i could meet my soulmate. you never know guys. we gotta keep our eyes open."

haechan says, his voice dripping with mischief.

"there's so much wrong with you hyuck."

mark mutters, shaking his head.

"that's literally the least of our concerns now because he thinks he could meet his soulmate in an ethics seminar."

jeno chimes in, expression somewhere between questioning and giving up. and of course, haechan doesn't let go that unanswered.

"your crush might be in this jeno."

"what? you have a crush??"

renjun looks up from the stove, eyes wide.

"you never told us. does jaem know? he's going to be heartbroken."

a spatula is aimed at jeno like a weapon.

"talk."

"it's not a crush. it's... admiration. i just admire her."

"sure, admire. that’s what they all say."

says a smug haechan, and mark snorts into his coffee.

"and here i thought i was the one doing all the overthinking around here."

"heyy suckersss."

jaemin enters with chenle and jisung following him, plopping down on the beanbags.

"oh my god jaem i was just talking about! did you know that jeno has a—mmph!"

the rest of renjun's sentence is cut off when jeno slaps his hand over the former's mouth.

"what? jeno has a what?"

"mmh—mmphh!"

"a hemorrhoid??"

mark laughs the hardest, air leaving his lung as the sound of laughter fills the entire room. he doesn't remember the last time he laughed this hard. probably when jisung was dared to sit on a pendulum ride alone on one side while the others sat on the opposite side, getting to watch the youngest in their group look like the cutest hamster.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

"what's a hemorrhoid?"

chenle asks, very seriously, as they turn around the corridor corner.

"so you laughed before even though you had no idea what it is and it's like.. like a swollen vein in the butt. i think."

"so it can make butts look bigger? thicker?"

jisung starts walking faster. away from the group.

"lele how exactly did you become an adult?"

"i had a question."

"yeah and it's a painful one!"

"well, technically since it's a swollen vein then shouldn't the butt be swollen too?"

everyone ignores chenle as they enter the seminar hall. jeno groans as he eyes the huge number of students piling up in the hall, muttering something under his breath as they all move faster to find their seats.

"le's butt discussion seems better than this."

"i knew it!"

it takes a bit of work, but before their professor arrives, they're all able to squeeze in at the back, renjun's legs pressed against haechan's. mark finds a seat that provides a clear view of the screen, although he can't tell if he should be thankful for that or not.

the class starts of like it was forced to wake up early too. just like their professor, with tired but uneasy eyes. mark almost felt sorry for him. the time seems to slow down way too much, and jaemin's face has already lost a bit of the cheeriness he always makes sure to show. jeno looks like he's trying to stay concentrated, and the two youngest have already resorted to staring at nothing. renjun and haechan seem to be playing a game of tic tac toe on one of their notes.

mark's eyes move over the entire class again, lazily, boredom wrapping up in with his bones already. he could see so much in all the faces, a mix of 'i care about this too much', 'i care about this enough', 'i don't care about this' and 'i'm just trying to get through this'.

and then there's you.

his eyes take a double take without his permission as they rest on you again, watching as you try to push your hair back, but a stubborn strand misses and falls right back on your face.

and you just let it stay.

you don't look like you belong there. but you don't look like you belong anywhere else either.

you're seated in the middle rows, to the right of mark. and from the back, he could see how you were drumming your fingers softly and inaudibly along the bench, a page open with a few notes and doodles to the side. you're seated a bit away from the student beside you, with something that looks like your bag or your coat in between.

this is mandatory for your course as well?

the thought passes just as quickly as it arrived, but his curious gaze still lingers on you.

and then you nod. subtle, just a little dip of your head, at the professor.

mark looks at the professor, who he finds to be already looking at you, with what seems like a tiny but satisfactory smile.

wait. where you actually listening to the professor this whole time?

mark strains his ears for the next minute, realizing that their professor was indeed making statements and giving his own theories. that he wasn't rambling to fill up the empty space, and that you were actually listening to him.

he looks at you once more, seeing the tiniest hint of a smile as you nod at the professor again, before jotting something down.

why were you doing that? were you trying to make the professor feel better? to show him that there was still someone who paid attention, someone who cared, apart from all the disinterested students?

why were you pretending to be something you weren't?

mark doesn't know what takes over him, but he looks at the professor. the old man is looking at you now, eyes and hands getting animated bit by bit, and he seems to be explaining only to you.

gone were the uneasy eyes of him. they seemed tired and uneasy before, at the start of the class, but now they seemed kind. tired, but still kind. and a bit whimsical. passionate. like he finally remembers why he loved the subject and became a professor of it.

because sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to show that you care, especially when others might not.

also, should i make a post regarding fic updates? with info like 'ch __ posted on date ___' ? maybe i can add this to my pinned post, under the masterlist?

if it's okay, someone pls help me out with this. it would be really helpful to hear your thoughts 💌

i'll try my best to update regularly ☺️

the lines don't sit right anymore.

the ones he's written down before, there's something wrong—off with them.

they did make sense earlier. he's pretty sure of it. but now they don't, like they ended up there by mistake.

he reads, stops halfway again. his pen hovers midway, and he makes an irritated sound under his breath.

none of his words feel right to be written down, so he resorts to spinning the pen again. the chair beside him scrapes loudly, earning a few stares (which definitely wasn't because of a full head of bright orange dyed hair, by the way).

"you're still on that!?"

chenle asks, plopping down with mouth open and eyes wide.

"le, no. we're not doing this again."

"but you've been sitting with this for the past 3 days. i'm surprised and—"

"i don't think you can talk about surprise with your hair looking like it's made of cheetos."

that gets him immediately.

"heyy i'd have you known that this is the hottest hair color i've ever done and it looks awesome on me."

mark smiles at that, shaking his head as his eyes drift back to the lines again.

"ethics?"

"literature."

chenle makes no sound as he lazily turns the book towards him, eyes already reading.

"memory isn't fixed, it moves, so do people, so are decisions really decisions?"

mark watches the younger in silence, the words turning over in his head once, twice.

"not gonna lie hyung but i'm genuinely lost. but the cats you drew to the side are cute. looking just like me."

mark exhales, because honestly, even he can't understand the meaning behind it. and chenle is already moving onto another topic.

"you missed practice today."

"i had work."

"you always have work. raj nearly died."

that pulls his attention.

"almost broke his ankle trying to land right. something about impressing a girl from another department. i think her name starts with an e?"

"he's okay?"

"yep. she still left though. walked out mid-practice."

he shrugs, a bit sympathetically.

"he was planning to ask her out. planned days ahead. cardboard cutout, dinner at her favorite place, then hot chocolate—"

"hot chocolate?"

"yeah. who even drinks hot chocolate on a date?"

"people apparently..."

the elder murmurs, and chenle huffs a small laugh.

"weird people. anyways, please do not miss practice tomorrow. we need you now more than ever since raj won't be there for a while. jaemin's been threatening to hide fart bombs in your room with all the hiding you're doing."

"i was not hiding chenle."

"maybe not, but you're cooped up in your room all the time. and for what, those words?"

"okay first of all, these aren't just any words. this is for my assignment. and it's just taking longer than expected."

the younger looks at him squarely.

"when's the last time you met the guys? or texted in the group chat, like actually? excluding all the one-word replies and random gifs by the way."

"i text."

the answer comes out weaker than expected.

"hyuck texted last week that he almost died due to food poisoning. you sent a thumbs up."

mark feels saved when chenle's phone rings, and he picks up, eyes still set on the elder pointedly.

"yeah jaem, yes i'm with him. found him right where he always is— yes i know i promised, we're coming."

chenle picks up the notebook, shoving it inside mark's bag, throwing it over his shoulder as he takes his phone away as well.

"where are we going?"

mark's chair is the one that scrapes loudly this time, falling in line with chenle's swift strides.

"jisung's place."

"i am not coming."

"it's just the boys."

"oh. okay then."

chenle just hums, both boys walking the corridor with way too bright lights, and mark breathes in largely as they walk out the doors, cool air swooshing around on his face and in his ears. it helps though, because whatever fog his brain had, it dissipates slowly, making the elder look at the sky calmly, before taking his phone from chenle's pocket and snapping a picture of it.

"it looks so pretty today."

"yeah. looks like that watermelon candy we used to eat remember?"

"damn it does!"

and for the first time in like 3 days or so, mark actually laughs, the feeling warming his body up.

chenle snaps another picture, probably sending it to their group chat as their phones light up.

by the time they reach the dorm, jisung's already cooking (burning) rice, there's a deliciously (suspiciously) looking katsu curry with a huge bottle of lemon soda, and they all stay silent over the fact that at least one vegetable in that curry was washed with soap.

as they sit around the table after dinner, tummies full and eyes sleepy, haechan arguing with jaemin on how he saw god in the bathroom tiles the other day, jeno and renjun having a staring contest for who gets to hold the large bear pillow on the couch, chenle and jisung doing their best to ignore everything, mark wonders about the lines. about people and decisions.

about his people.

the table and the space around it is messy. it's noisy. sometimes it's too alive and sometimes it's not.

but he knows.

he knows that there's nowhere else he'd rather want to be.

today was not supposed to be this cold.

it still is anyways. goosebumps erupt on your skin, courtesy of the chill gathered up in your dorm. as if that wasn't enough, your room heater decided that this would be the perfect weather to stop working.

and before you could properly decide on what to do, you find yourself throwing on your coat and running down the stairs, deciding on the cafe on the southern outskirts of the campus as your destination.

the warmth hits you first. or maybe it's the smell.

that smell of coffee, chocolate and many more baked goodies all around in the air, and you breathe it all in greedily.

there's nothing better than hot chocolate and warm brownies on a cold day. stews, soups or dumplings if you're more of a savory person.

your stomach grumbles on cue as you stand in line, waiting for your turn to order. someone laughs loudly on the phone a few steps away. there's a baby babbling in the world's hardest language and someone else sneezes when the cafe doors chime open.

you look around, mind drifting as you tuck your hands back into your coat pockets to keep them away from further numbness.

your eyes drift again as the line moves slowly and—

oh.

it's him. mark.

he's sitting near one of the windows, almost at the back, straight up in the seat, laptop open, a book before him, 2 pens beside it. a steaming cup of hot coffee rests on his table.

he's focused on his book, tapping the pen against the page before leaning forward a little to write something down.

you blink, and the person before you moves.

right, hot chocolate. you move to the counter, giving a quick look at the menu before ordering.

"one hot chocolate please. that's it."

warm brownies for another day.

you step aside, tucking your hands back into your pockets, distracting yourself with the new wall mural they've got painted. it's a pretty one, with vines and butterflies in different colors.

a couple of minutes pass.

"—hot chocolate?"

you move, nodding as you take the cup from them. your hands already feel warmer.

"thank you."

you give a small smile, and then you turn to leave. cup in hand, careful not to spill it. your vision goes back to him again, just for a split second. he's still focused, still writing something down.

looking straight ahead, you walk to the doors, turning a bit to open them, when your eyes slip back to him again.

and this time, his eyes catch yours.

you don't react, just pause there hesitantly, the door a bit ajar. you can see the recognition forming in his eyes as they widen just a tiny bit, eyebrows forming soft arches. cold air swoops in suddenly, and that makes you shiver, your hold on the door loosening.

his fingers twitch, an awkward little hi in the air, before gesturing to the empty seat before him. you think for a second, before closing the door and walking to his table. you're free today anyways.

"hi."

mark says with a small smile as you sit down.

"hello."

you smile and place your cup down carefully, adjusting your seat. he's looking at your order, and you think that the silence is going to be very awkward, until he breaks it.

"hot chocolate? no coffee?"

"nope. chocolate all the way."

he just nods, looking back into his book again, and you can't help but try to peek at what he's writing. and the question slips out recklessly.

"what are you writing?"

he looks back at you, lips parted a bit, as if thinking on what to say.

"uh... notes. it's for my literature assignment. just, trying to make sense of it."

you watch him for a second as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck.

"may i see?"

mark looks at you and blinks, like he didn't expect that. you don't do or say anything—you just look at him.

he hesitates for a second, then slides the notebook a little closer to you. your fingers wrap around the back cover as you read, slowly.

it's something about people. and memories.

you give it back to him, holding it for a second too long before letting go.

"i don’t really know anything about literature... but it’s nice. i think."

you say with a small smile, placing the book back before him. he blinks again, first at the notebook and then at you, a small smile forming that mirrors your own.

"thank you."

it's back to silence again, and you're thinking that maybe you should get up and go about your way, but this time, mark breaks it.

"what's your major?"

your shoulders loosen up a bit at that question, reaching for your cup.

"animal science."

mark nods slowly, the term turning around in his head.

"animal science? that's cool... actually."

a second of silence.

"i don't know anything about that."

he says, with a small guilty shake of his head, and you nod along.

"trust me, even i don't know. there's a lot to learn."

"but you love it."

"i love it, yes."

he hums at that, and you can tell that he's a bit curious when he asks another question.

"the first class we had, you know, the one we were late too...?"

"ethics in the modern world?"

"yeah, that. how does it help your subject?"

you think for a second.

"well, i think it's about how we think about animals. the decisions we make regarding them. what we do with them, whether it's right or not, if we should be doing it."

mark leans back a little, thinking.

"that’s… kind of the same idea, isn’t it? the decisions."

he looks at you again.

"just, different subjects—you with animals and me with people."

"mmh."

he's still looking at you, when you raise your cup to get the last sip in, and even when you dab at your lips with a tissue.

the space becomes slow but comfortable after that, you scrolling on your phone while he goes back to work on his assignment. it isn't awkward at all, but rather, it seems friendly. at least to you. you don't ask him about it, even though you want to.

there's 5 more minutes of silence with ruffling pages and soft laptop clicks, before your phone vibrates with a message.

you glance at it, and then at him.

"i should go."

he looks up at that, leaning forward as he places the book on the table.

"oh, okay. yeah."

he nods, and you gather your things slowly, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

"bye mark."

"see you y/n."

mark says as you walk farther away from the table, and when you reach the doors, you look back one more time.

he's already back to his book, pen spinning in his fingers.

a small smile lingers on your face as you step out the cafe, the cold hitting you immediately. the walk back to your room is quiet and you're alone, but it's not lonely.

you try to remember what he was writing, but you can't.

there's just fragments—rough, incomplete ones. people, memories, something in between.

the next time mark sees you, it's almost dark, a faint trace of light still in the sky—sometime after 7:15 pm.

the campus had gone quiet, a slight drizzle casting a hazy sheen over everything. even though he had errands to run, the weather was making him feel lethargic, and the dampness of his clothes wasn't helping at all.

still, there was something about that kind of weather; the grass and vines looking straight out of a gothic scene, while the clouds rolled around like heavy ocean waves. one of his favorite views, if he was being honest.

taking a turn, his legs pick up pace, humming some random song playing faintly in his earbuds. the long line of the overgrown hedges ahead glistens with water droplets, puddles gathered here and there, uneven along the path.

mark watches his feet, careful not to slip on the footpath as he steps down off of it onto the road.

and then he halts.

something, or someone, is crouched down a few steps ahead on the footpath, silhouette swallowed by a long coat. a hand is outstretched, and mark follows its line without really thinking.

a cat.

it notices him first, watches for a second, ears alert and eyes fixed, before going back to nuzzling and purring into the hand, completely unbothered.

the silhouette turns to look at him, and mark pulls out his earbuds without even realizing it.

it’s you.

he blinks at you, and then at the partially opened tin of tuna that's resting between you and the cat. his eyes flit back to you again, catching in a sudden breath when he realizes that you're still looking at him.

"hi."

you say, flashing a small smile at him, before giving your attention back to the cat again when it starts meowing.

mark takes a few steps further, not knowing what to do.

should he leave? should he crouch down as well? should he say hi back? will the cat even like him?

he crouches down beside you finally, clearing his throat before greeting you back.

"hello."

you smile without looking at him, still petting the cat while gesturing at the tuna for him, and its silent for 7 seconds or so (he's not counting, obviously), before you turn back to him.

"i'm y/n, and this is matilda."

a soft laugh slips out from his mouth before he can help it.

"hey matilda, my name is mark."

he turns to look at you at the last word, watching as you're back to focusing on the cat, scratching gently behind her ears like you've done it a thousand times already.

mark doesn't know what to feel. he's crouched down beside a stranger, a tin of tuna between them, under a drizzle which honestly seems to be getting heavier with each passing second, and he just met a cat named matilda.

how... interesting.

matilda moves closer to him at some point, giving his hand some curious sniffs and tiny licks.

"hi."

mark says again with a small smile as she nuzzles into his palm, fur tickling his fingertips.

"aww, she likes you. she usually doesn't like anybody, such a drama queen."

you say the last words with an eye roll, but your eyes hold anything but sarcasm.

does your voice always stay this soft?

before anything else can happen, mark feels the first heavy raindrops splash on his arms, and matilda suddenly darts back into the hedges, meowing loudly. you grumble something under your breath, before bending down to place the tuna in a dry patch under the bushes, finally standing up straight with a small, heavy breath.

"i've placed your dinner here tilda. don't forget to eat it and be careful."

mark watches you as you say that to the bushes, giving an awkward smile as you look back at him.

"sorry for that. she gets cranky if she doesn't eat her tuna."

you say, and mark nods gently, watching as you look at his shirt and sigh guiltily.

"i'm so sorry for stopping you here like this. your shirt's all damp now because of me, and i don't even have an umbrella to offer..."

"oh that's not a problem. we can walk to the streetlamp, if it's okay? i mean, it has a—"

he gestures vaguely, something upward in the sky.

way to go buddy.

"has a... light?"

you're looking at him with the tiniest of a smile, just softly blinking, not even a miniscule of impatience in your eyes.

"yeah, more light. and less rain."

"okay then, let's go."

you say, looking down at your feet as you pick up pace already, and mark falls in beside you, pushing his earbuds into his pockets.

there's barely anyone left around the part of the campus you're both in, and half a minute later, you find yourselves standing under the lamp, having found a dry patch under it, thankfully due to a large tree branch growing above.

and for the first time since he met you, mark finally gets to look at you as you're distracted and clicking away something on your phone.

you're wearing a dark red turtleneck and black jeans. the rain was making everything look blurry, but those ear piercings of yours are still shining, and there's small ring adorning your right hand.

you look up at him, but then something behind him takes your attention away, and he takes this as an opportunity to clearly look at you.

a lot of wispy baby hairs, some damp and some dry. the apples of your cheeks have gone slightly pink due to the cold, and you were chewing on your lip continuously. whatever color you had put on them was gone, replaced with a barely present red.

his eyes went to your earrings then. just a simple pair of pearls. your eyes were still looking at something behind him.

then, your eyes. black? no.

brown.

he thought, as they reflected back the soft lamplight. big almond eyes, soft, lined with kohl that had been smudged already. your eyelashes weren't how female ones were usually portrayed in makeup advertisements or big led screens, but mark thought they suited your eyes and face perfectly.

you turned your back to him, scanning the surroundings around you.

your hair is long. longer than how he remembers seeing it on the first day. damper and wilder than before.

but it suits you.

"i think it's slowing down..."

mark blinks suddenly, swiftly scanning the surroundings as he holds his palm out.

"yep, yeah. it is."

you let out a sigh of relief, finally looking up at him.

"thank god. i genuinely need to go back to my room and fall face down on the bed."

you say, laughing a little, and mark joins in softly.

"that's a really good plan actually."

you exchange genuine smiles again, before a phone call cuts through the silence.

"sorry, just a second, it's probably my friend—yeah, lele, i'm on my way. give me 15 minutes."

there's another beat of silence, before you speak up.

"yeah so, i'll be on my way now. i'm so sorry again, for taking up your time—"

"wait!"

mark says, way too quickly, taking you by surprise.

"um, are you sure that i can't walk you to the nearest bus station? i mean, it is very late. or maybe i can call a cab for you?"

"oh no that's okay! i actually have a friend waiting for me at the library, so i'll just walk there. got to check on tilda as well. it's of no problem really, but thank you."

you smile at him again, and mark does the same as you adjust your bag and coat.

"bye mark, see you again."

"bye y/n."

and then you both part ways with one more smile, walking farther apart in opposite directions. mark watches you until you turn and disappear around the library lane's corner, and he slowly picks up his pace towards chenle's place.

"so late today, why?"

chenle asks as soon as he steps into the house, throwing a packet of chips at him.

"met a cat."

"hmm."

"name's matilda."

"cute."

"she only likes tuna."

"opinionated and good taste? i like her already."

"she sounds cute."

jaemin says as he plops down beside mark, whipping out his phone boredly.

[ mark lee ]

𖹭 ⋆ .˚

── hi, my name is rhea :) ── i LOVE animals and nature, sunsets, reading fictional fantasy novels and slightly melted vanilla ice cream. ── making up scenarios and overthinking stuff into late nights with music while being alone is my kinda therapy. ── i only write for nct :D (as of now)

mark lee knew that not every story begins with a prologue, much less a memorable one.

but it had never occurred to him that his own story would start with a rushed morning, an empty hallway, and a single voice.

────── .✦ ݁˖ ──────

“i didn’t fall for you all at once. it was quieter than that, like something slowly settling into place. like i had been falling for a while without even realizing it.

but i didn’t care how long the fall lasted, because it was your arms i was falling into.”

────── .✦ ݁˖ ──────

pairings: student mark lee x student fem reader.

genre: non idol au, college/university setting, fluff, pining, domestic moments, yearning, strangers/classmates to lovers.

a/n: helloo! this is my first fic ever, so still getting the hang of it and kinda nervous... hoping that whoever is reading this likes it! hearts and reblogs are always appreciated! 🫶 thank you for being here, and happy reading 💌

chapters: links given below :)

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 1 - still haven't seen your face, but we're not far apart.

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 2 - you came out the blue on a rainy night.

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 3 - anyway, don't be a stranger.

๋ ࣭ ⭑ 4 - there's an art to life's distractions.