i love you too, and i still look for you. i got a bit misty eyed when i saw your message. i’ve been making it through the days, but it’s been difficult. i hope you’ve been well.  i might expand on the details sometime, but it’s too personal for a post and exhausting to get into. every time i think the situation can’t get worse, the pit seems to sink just a bit deeper. i’m hoping for a break at some point. i’ve been translating His posts on twitter to english. i’m refraining from writing his name so it doesn’t come up in the tag, but i’ve gotten a bit further in my studies. it feels like trying to run forward in molasses, studying on my own like this. noticing progress almost makes it feel worth it. my dreams feel so far away but i’m gonna keep trying because my dreams are all i have.  i think i’ve got your address still, but i wouldn’t know what name to send a letter to. what name do you go by these days? i hope you find comfort in it.  the hoodies you’ve sent me have been a great help as the weather gets colder. i’m forever grateful.  do know that i’ve never forgotten you, or stopped caring. i think of and worry for you, especially with knowing how your situation was when i ended up disappearing, myself. familial health, stress, and finances have exhausted me to the point where i’ve been isolating myself. i regret that i didn’t check on you more often. i thought of you, sent you well wishes, but didn’t check on you enough. i hope you’re safe, at the very least. getting your meals. keeping warm, housed, and clothed.  living healthily. i feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. thank you for updating me, even if it’s the last for a long time. i hope you’ll respond to even this at some point, but if you aren’t able, that’s okay too. it’s silly, but i have a kik, and kakao. i have email. i likely have your address. maybe we can keep in touch in one of these ways?  thank you again for getting back to me, and thank you for still having me in your thoughts. i wish i could keep in contact with you, but more than anything else, i hope you’re safe and well. i know it’s hard.  i still think of you. i hope the best for you. i miss you. you’ve always been someone very close to my heart, especially when i have very few else.  i’ve always felt connected to you in a way separate from others. in a raw, unique, and intimate way.   i love you.  even if you can’t get back to me ever again, remember this. i love you and have so much hope for you. you’re full of so much potential, even if you can’t see it now. you’ll be okay. we’ll be okay.