tw! its more for me, but feel free to use!

1. HYGIENE

do your skincare routine every single mornin' and night.

take shower everyday.

shave your armpits everyday.

shave your legs every week *less if its winter*.

brush teeth twice a day.

do your hair routine every day, including washing routine every two days.

always apply deodorant and perfume or perfume mist.

once a week do a whole spa routine. *nail care, mask sheets, peelings and more deep treatments.*

try to moistruize your skin everyday

2. APPEARANCE

always look presentable in public.

always when in public apply at least conceler, or bb cream and so on.

always dress nicely.

keep your hair done, even if just stretched or curled.

keep your nails filed and clean, better if painted.

always wear minimalistic jewellery.

keep yourself shaved.

3. ETIQUETTE

never speak too loudly.

never scream or argue with someone.

be delicate with everything.

be patient be polite and nice to everyone. always say hello to your neighbour teachers, friends when you pass on streets.

smile often.

never talk with full mouth.

keep your elbows off the table when you eat.

do small talk;

2. How to start? Here are some basic phrases: Have you done anything intresting this weekend? Im looking forwars for weekend. Do you too? Have you any intresting plans? You did so great today at class! Is something bothering you? You look worried/sad/tired You have so nice t-shirt/make-up/ hairstyle // I love your hair/make-up/ phone case etc. "just compliment someone it always works, you can ask them after where did they bought it, or where got inspiration if its hairstyle or make-up

Try to make people talk about what they want to talk, not what you want to talk. That will make them think, your intrested in their lives, and people just like to talk about themselves

4. Be warm, and try to make people comfortable while they with you, don't run out with you eyes try to lock your eyes with one your talking with

3. Be open and don't judge

5. Gesticulate. Don't stand with your hands not moving, and head stead. It makes you look stressed and unnatural.

6. See the beauty in every single person

7. Share your life with others, but try not to focus conversation just on you. Look at point

8. Build trust.

9. If you have things in common show them that, and talk about it. (my tip are TV series, I mean I watched probably every single show, so to find the one in common with somebody isn't that hard. Also kpop or oder music genre is thing you can converse about a lot. )

be a good friend:

reply to messeges.

2. Be a good listener, try to maintain eye contact, and don't interrupt.

Be a best friend to others at first.

1. think more about them than about yourself, be for them not for yourself*

3. Be honest

4. Keep what your friends say to you in secret.

5. Be loyal, and stand up for your friends.

6. Be supportive, try to give advice.

7. Keep messaging them, give them your attention.

8. Say nice things about your friends to other people.

9. Compromise. Never argue.

10. Be open.

pay attention to your family.

think before you speak.

be helpful.

dont complain too much.

dont overshare.

4. SCHOOL

at class always pay attention, try to write everything down, try to be active.

do your homework the day it was given.

do your notes after every lesson, be sistematic.

dont skip important lessons. be minimim 10 minutes earlier to every class.

always give your essays in first termin. do all extras.

go to dentist every 6 months.

study minimum for hour every day.

5. ORGANZATION

go to hairdresser every 3 months.

keep your room clean - vaccum every week and every two weeks change the sheets.

pack your bag day before classes.

every sunday plan your meals and outfits for the rest of week.

try to go out at least once a week.

try not to eat when alone.

dont eat anything until you dont count and write down the calories.

6. FOOD

drink at least one cup of green tea a day.

@givemenameinsta

I got you.

How to detach and become more Attractive

If you feel anxiety or codependent tendencies with your close connections you likely have deep rooted issues with low self worth, so let's get you started with some tangible basics.

Cleanse your mental diet. Stop watching and engaging with media that romatizises sadness and heartache. Stop listening to music that validates the victim mentality. Instead be very mindful of your consumption and start creating playlists with music that only focuses on feeling yourself and high vibe energy. The lyrics you listen to are the affirmations you program your mind with. Make your Spotify recommend music that aligns with your desired self, train those algorithms. Remain intentional.

Talk to yourself nicely. How you talk about yourself inside your head determines your entire self concept. You create who you are, so when you catch yourself scolding yourself, snap out of it and remind yourself that you're a queen deserving of respect.

Practice self care religiously. Normalize rest as productivity. Make loads of time to take care of your health and looks. Take time to refine your style, scent, hair, makeup, elegance, etiquette. by doing these things for yourself you teach your brain that you are someone worth putting effort in for. Which you are, you are your number one fan, don't you ever try to find someone else to take that place or you'll be giving all of your power in someone else's hands.

Keep your own promises. Same goes with showing yourself that you're a trustworthy person. If you can't trust yourself to be there for yourself you'll end up seeking that elsewhere. Your actions towards yourself will wire your brain to perceive you as just as worthy as you show it you are. Remember that the next time you accept mistreatment.

Expand your social life. Instead of trying to find a special someone to validate your existence it's better to first have a variety of humans to share fulfilling experiences with. Not everyone is for everything and that's okay. Learn to spread your social reality to different things with different people.

Force yourself out of the shame cycle. Shame and embarrassment are the biggest killers to all of your flow. Once you catch your self-shaming patterns you can start unlearning and accepting a new path of thinking, directing yourself to openness towards the world where attraction can show up.

Date multiple people. Dating multiple people at the same time will teach you not to put all your eggs in one basket. You can choose to date just for gaining experience, this will take the pressure off and you don't have to worry about the outcome because you know you're doing it just to gain better social skills and train your charm. Practice is important and often overlooked. You shouldn't date for a relationship until you feel total indifference and you're ready to walk away.

Stay busy & grateful. A busy person with a fulfilling life is a person that doesn't live from a place of need. Once you start needing you approach life from a place of lack. Instead of this mindset try saying you 'prefer'. You'd prefer a certain lifestyle which guides your choices. But you're already contented for what you have. - No one wants people in their lives who drain their energy sources, we want people who add value. This shift in mindset will change your energy noticeably as you switch from tensity to peace. You'll have charisma that radiates self assurance that will convince everyone that you are of value because you recognize your own value. And they will react & treat you accordingly.

listen to songs from a time you felt happier

watch childhood shows

talk to yourself (it’s normal)

remember that you are not your trauma

do things that your inner child would think “they’re so cool” ex: speaking up, setting boundaries, not taking shit from anyone, explore your creative side.

first image:

gaslighting

gaslighting is a manipulation tactic in which a person, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their own reality or sanity.

someone trying to gaslight you may:

tell blatant lies (to/about you, to/about others)

deny they ever said or did something, even though you have proof

make you question your own reality

use what is near and dear to you as ammunition

wear you down over time

throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you

use confusion to weaken you

project their own shortcomings or misdeeds onto you

try to align people against you

tell you or others that you are crazy

tell you everyone else is a liar

gaslighting only works when a victim isn't aware of what's going on. once you become alert to the pattern, it will be easier to combat.

second image:

love bombing

love bombing is a manipulation tactic that happens when someone overwhelms you with affection, adoration, gifts, and love in order to gain control of your behaviors.

someone trying to love bomb you may:

lavish you with gifts. (this often includes over-the-top gestures such as flowers, jewelry, or even trips. the point of this is to make you feel as if you owe them something.)

give you constant praise and adoration. (phrases such as "you're the only person i want to spend time with", "i love everything about you", and "i've never met anyone i like as much as you" are nice, but it is important to consider the context.)

want to be in constant communication with you. (love bombing can take the form of constant communication: texting, calling, and messaging over social media all day long.)

they get upset when you implement boundaries. (when you try to tell a love bomber to slow down or implement any kind of boundary with them, they get upset. this can present itself as them declaring that you don't care about them/that you don't love them.)

third image:

the guilt trip

guilt-tripping behaviors often show up in close relationships (romantic partnerships, friendships, professional relationships, or family relationships).

someone trying to guilt-trip you may:

point out their own efforts and hard work to make you feel as if you've fallen short

make sarcastic or passive-aggressive remarks about the situation

ignore your efforts to talk about the problem

give you the silent treatment

deny their irritation, though their actions tell you otherwise

show no interest in doing anything to improve the situation themselves

use body language to communicate their displeasure by sighing, crossing their arms, or slamming objects down

calling out guilt-tripping when you notice it is one of the most effective ways of combating it.

fourth image:

negging

negging is when a person tries to manipulate you into feeling bad about yourself. negging happens in a few different ways:

they give backhand compliments: "well, don't you look fabulous? i would never be brave enough to wear my hair like that with your face shape."

they compare you to other people: "your sister is in such great shape. you should take a cue from her and start working out."

they're always "just joking" when you call them on it: "lighten up! where's your sense of humor?"

they insult you under the guise of "constructive criticism": "that report was terrible, but the subject is completely over your head after all."

they disguise insults as questions: "don't take this the wrong way, but are you really going to eat all that by yourself?"

they make you feel sorry for voicing concerns by minimizing their mistreatment.

fifth image:

emotional blackmail

emotional blackmail is a dysfunctional form of manipulation that people use to place demands and threaten victims to get what they want. the undertone of emotional blackmail is if you don't do what i want when i want it, you will suffer.

the emotional blackmailer typically does not have any other coping or go-to methods for how to communicate and interact in a healthy manner. they fall back to stonewalling, slamming doors, threatening, and engaging in other damaging behaviors to get what they want. they typically do not have the tools available to understand how to convey their needs.

some examples: "if you ever stop loving me i will kill myself." "i've already discussed this with our (pastor, therapist, friends, family) and they agree that you are being unreasonable." "i'm taking this vacation - with or without you." "how can you say you love me and still be friends with them?"

sixth image:

the mental impact of manipulation:

someone who is the victim of manipulation may:

feel depressed

develop anxiety

develop unhealthy coping patterns

constantly try to please the manipulative person

lie about their feelings

put another person's needs before their own

find it difficult to trust others

in some cases, manipulation can be so pervasive that it causes a victim to question their perception of reality.

seventh image:

how to deal with manipulative people:

(according to goodtherapy)

disengage.

if someone is trying to get a particular emotional response from you, choose not to give it to them. for example, if a manipulative friend is known to flatter you before asking for a favor, don't play along--rather, reply politely and shift the conversation.

be confident.

sometimes, manipulation may include on person's attempts to cause another person to doubt their abilities, intuition, or even reality. this can wear us down over time and actually cause us to question these things in ourselves. if this happens often in a close relationship, it is probably best to step away.

address the situation.

call out the manipulative behavior as it's happening. keeping the focus on how the other person's actions are affection you rather than starting with an accusatory statement may also help you reach a resolution while emphasizing that their manipulative tactics won't work on you.

eighth image:

you're not alone.

here are a few ways you can help yourself:

trust your gut.

if you feel like you are being manipulated, try to trust that feelings. many times, manipulators can make us question our own reality. try to harness how you're feeling; do this by keeping a journal (if you can) to express your own feelings.

reach out to a professional.

sharing your emotions with someone who can help you profess and validate what you are going through can help you see light in even the darkest of times.

text "HELLO" to 741741

(for your safety, it may be wise to delete your texts after the conversation, particularly if the person who is manipulating you has access to your phone.)

confide in someone you trust.

the benefits of confiding in someone in your life are two-fold: you can find an ally in your corner to process what you're going through and you can spend some quality time away from the person who is manipulating you. try to build a core group of people who you know will always have your back.

My teenage nostalgia: