Soli Deo Gloria

Some days are better than others Reminiscing about this photo above Counting down the days for the summer breeze

I had a nightmare that I was calling out But nobody answered That I was falling But nobody caught me That I was alone And nobody stood by me

From yesterday morning: 6:24AM 7:00AM 7:03AM 7:08AM Daniel Fast Day 20 / February 3 I had a nightmare last night about teaching. That I wasn't good or bad. But that I was teaching. I kept dreaming about preparing to teach and I woke up earlier than I anticipated with stress weighing on my shoulders. Knowing that I start Tuesday and I need to make improvements on my lesson makes me want to run away from my responsibilities. Lord, cast away my anxieties and pour out your peace onto my heart and to remember that you called me towards this path for a reason.

Daniel fast day 16 / January 31 It comes in waves, the ebbs of sadness and joy. Knowing that I am your beloved. Knowing that You love me so. But still struggling with darkness, a shadow encompasses me in my loneliness. During those times I rejoice in knowing that you oh Lord are my light, my life. You are my light in my darkness, you are my lamp.

Daniel Fast Day 15 / January 30 Today, I got out from work early, 12PM. It feels so good to be home before 4PM. I woke up and saw the sun peaking out from the clouds. It was the first time in three weeks that there has been a sunrise. 3 weeks i waited for the sun to rise and cast a beautiful glow onto the lake. Finally, God provided. No more gray, ugly skies first thing in the morning. I walked out of the apartment at 7AM and although it was beyond freezing, I looked up and saw that the sky was blue. I am overwhelmed by the amount of work I have preparing to teach my unit. Lord, cast out any of my anxieties.

 Today marks my last week of the fast. Honestly, I understand now why people say why they’re afraid to stop. I’m almost addicted to the feeling of restraint and with that restraint, I yearn to seek after the Lord more. Every delicious meal that I eat breaking fast, I thank God for creating food. Every time I am starving or sad because I cannot eat a satisfying meal, I plead God to satisfy me. Every time I’m in a social event and I’m more present and involved rather than on my phone, afraid to face social interactions, I ask God to remove those anxieties. I’m scared-- to lose this intimacy with God.