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@zum1udontno
fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest
FELLATIO: Have you never taken within your mouth
The tender member of your lady love?
Then be assured its texture is unmatched
Now softened as it is by womanhood
KING: Thou dares impugn the honor of thy queen?!
Were we not so close I would have thy head!
FELLATIO: Tis futile. You may have my head but once,
While I have claimed your wife's a thousandfold
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LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????
this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible
I saw this tweet:
and thought “ah okay, so like probably just some normal guy with a slight-to-moderate looking eccentricity about him” brother i
How did Joe Rogan get Baron Ashura on his cast
wait a second that's the fucker from decrease the increase
I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”
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ilove homosexuals i love bisexuals i love trans !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayy ayyayy ayy Weare all sooo ocool
your silence on fresh basil pesto is deafening.
i just, i shit you not, got an ad for the concept of a t-shirt, and on top of that, they didn’t even have a photo of a t-shirt. no links either
i like a trans headcanon as much as the next guy but sometimes it really boils down to “that character has not had enough agency and/or introspective freedom in their life to have transitioned by the time we meet them in their story”
this is not because transfem headcanons are above reproach and people are being so mean to transmasc hcs. lets put our thinking caps on and consider why most of the ones being talked about in the notes are transmasc.
is it possible thats because the vast majority of popular headcanons are transmasc, not transfem? and is that posibly because people dont want to do post-canon transfem headcanons for male characters, or care about female characters enough to hc theyve already transitioned nearly as often as with men? and that this phenomenon im commenting on IS mostly applicable to popular transmasc headcanons by the kinds of fandom people who would die for the right to avoid talking about a woman in fiction? do we think that may be why?
I also ☝️ think it's important to tell the difference between "the author's barely-disguised fetish" and "the audience member's unrealised kink that they're projecting onto the author because seeing a character tied up is making them feel funny in their Audience Member Parts"
Not to be all "the children have forgotten the sacred texts!" but I just saw someone refer to a ship between two people who are good friends in canon as a crackship.
Hon. No. Crackship doesn't just mean "not canon". It's difficult to imagine two people who spend significant canon time together as a crackship. Crackship is when you write Galactus getting fucked by Tony the Tiger.
Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.
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I’m watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and I’ve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.
Y’know, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.
“Squirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!”
Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred. Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as he’d already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldn’t be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister. No incest means no Mordred. Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.
Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.
You say all that but all I hear is “here is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the world”
Look this was a journey for me ok?
It started as “I can’t believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthur’s virginity” and slowly became “I can’t believe Disney’s weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelot’s downfall.”
Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that it’d actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and I’m guessing not) - is even more so. It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and that’s, uh, the point of this I guess.
So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a ‘humanized’ version of the squirrel called ‘Hazel’ (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.
I know it’s a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.
Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazing…
I REMEMBER THESE!!!!
Fascinating
@tyrantisterror your legacy endures
To an ever widening group of people, I am “that guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.”
Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.
I think I’ve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and I’m literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.
Go my "nothing bad ever happened no one went missing Dess is at college" kriselle slop
this is great. slowly we will build a house
Thats crazy dude mind if i join you
Why are you doing that? What the fuck is wrong with you??
it's uncanny how easy it is
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chara
candy hearts and paper flowers
