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â° welcome to my personal studio lotâwhere every show i love gets rewritten, remixed, and reborn as its own little story. this series is a love letter to the comfort shows and films that raised me, the ones that stuck with me, and the characters i always wished i could write into a scene.
â° each fic in this collection lives inside the world of a medium, but never as a copy-paste. all inspired by the original, but told completely my way.
â° you donât need to have watched a single show/film here to follow along, but if you haveâitâs like watching the directorâs cut.
roll out the red carpet. grab your popcorn. wander the lot.
the episodes start whenever you hit play.
â° now streaming: the circle â nishimura riki
featured work: on my block (2018â2021)
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall + more to add upon release
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
start the show and hit playâ
â° pilot - fuck 12
â° episode 2 - tba
â° episode 3 - tba
â° episode 4 - tba
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
i kinda went back on my word tbh. the series is unfinished but i did wanna just put part one out to see if it was something yall wanted. but i think ep one is the most boring. my fav one to write was ep three.
so we will seeeeee !! maybe it'll flop, maybe not. i know series' can be tricky for some to follow along with.
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
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â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° welcome to my personal studio lotâwhere every show i love gets rewritten, remixed, and reborn as its own little story. this series is a love letter to the comfort shows and films that raised me, the ones that stuck with me, and the characters i always wished i could write into a scene.
â° each fic in this collection lives inside the world of a medium, but never as a copy-paste. all inspired by the original, but told completely my way.
â° you donât need to have watched a single show/film here to follow along, but if you haveâitâs like watching the directorâs cut.
roll out the red carpet. grab your popcorn. wander the lot.
the episodes start whenever you hit play.
â° now streaming: the circle â nishimura riki
featured work: on my block (2018â2021)
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall + more to add upon release
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
start the show and hit playâ
â° pilot - fuck 12
â° episode 2 - tba
â° episode 3 - tba
â° episode 4 - tba
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â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â
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â° welcome to my personal studio lotâwhere every show i love gets rewritten, remixed, and reborn as its own little story. this series is a love letter to the comfort shows and films that raised me, the ones that stuck with me, and the characters i always wished i could write into a scene.
â° each fic in this collection lives inside the world of a medium, but never as a copy-paste. all inspired by the original, but told completely my way.
â° you donât need to have watched a single show/film here to follow along, but if you haveâitâs like watching the directorâs cut.
roll out the red carpet. grab your popcorn. wander the lot.
the episodes start whenever you hit play.
â° now streaming: the circle â nishimura riki
featured work: on my block (2018â2021)
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall + more to add upon release
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
start the show and hit playâ
â° pilot - fuck 12
â° episode 2 - tba
â° episode 3 - tba
â° episode 4 - tba
â° synopsis: four childhood best friends thought distance wouldnât change them. but when you come back home to freeridge after your first year of college, a buried secret and gang politics collideâtesting loyalty, love, and the block that raised them.
â° run time: 17.1k words
â° mpaa rating: TV-MA â fictional universe (on my block / freeridge, california.), coming of age kinda, found family, morally grey characters, swearing, âsecret relationshipâ, implied sexual content, angst, fluff, banter, drug use and mention, underage drinking, distorted self-image, jealousy, situationship to lovers IM SORRY PLEASE, arguments, gun violence and gang shit, crying, summerween (as per gravity falls love that show), socioeconomic commentary, crude humor (some boundary pushing, but what is art without such), breaking the 4th wall a lil bit (itâs kinda fun i promise)
viewer's discretion advised.
â° authors note!! (important): hey, welcome to the circle. this, alongside other fics in the future, will be apart of my âas seen on tvâ series where i essentially make fics based on my favorite shows! i rmm doing this during my wattpad days but now it has gotten a name and a full blown makeover seeing as i am way more skilled than i was 5 years ago (or at least iâd like to think so).Â
these fics will literally be a mixture of me writing from memory of the showâs events, creating new scenes and dialogue (obvi, this wonât be a fic ON the show), creating whole new tales but just within the universe itself, etc. some may be oneshots, some may not be! i will make that judgment based on if i feel the fic calls for it or not. but the circle will have more than one. and there will be an upload schedule upon completion (i'm far along already dw), so make sure you turn that tv on.
this is a pilot!! more so, a temperature check to see how we're liking it thus far and if you want more.
you do not need to have watched the shows to understand fics. these can be read separately from the shows. though, it would be more fun!! iâd always recommend on my block as it is one ofâif notâthe greatest netflix series of all time. itâs all up to you.
soundtrack to enhance reading experience: spotify | apple
Youâve only been back in Freeridge, California for ten minutes and somehow your feet already know where to go.
You grew up on this blockâthis cracked sidewalk, that bent stop sign, the same sun-faded corner store where yâall used to beg for Slurpees after school. Childhood friends turned family: you, Shota, Leehan, and Riki. Neighbors since tricycles and scraped knees.
You walk up to Leehanâs houseâstill has the red folding chairs on the porch, the one with the wind chimeâand see him and Shota inside through the window, arguing over something stupid like always.
At this point, you knew this house like you knew your own. If you were ever even really there anyway. Youâve spent summers, weekdays, weekends, school yearsâalmostâin this home and it got to a point where you didnât even have to knock. And if you did, then the door would always open for you because you had a key.
With a lively spirit, you barged insideâduffel bag in tow as you saw two out of your three best friends politicking on the couch. âHey, assholes!â
Leehan paused in his movements, eyes widening just a bit before his jaw slacked. âYouâre backâŠâ
You dropped your duffel by the door with a now deflated look. âDid you expect me to stay in the woods for the whole summer?â
âYesâI mean, no. NoâŠwe didnâtâno we didnât. Right, Shota?â He turned to the younger, watching as he was on his phoneânot even minding the interaction. âDude!â Leehan snapped as he beamed a pillow at him.
With a thud, Shotaâs phone hit the couch. âYoâoh hey,â he looked at you with a smile. Standing up, opening his arms as he walked closer to you. âI missed you, Bun.â
âYeah, at least someone didâooh!â You grunted as Shota strong-armed you, wrapping his arms around you as he lifted you off your feet. âI missed you too, bro.â
He smiled at the words, âyou smell like an airplane.â
Laughing, you wrapped your arms around him. Shota wasnât always the brightest, but he was bright in every other way.
Shota, Leehan, and you all returned from your first years of college and though you didnât get home right awayâyou were offered by your schoolâs writing club to go on a retreat with them after the semester finished. It was fun, enriching, and about five weeks. In a way, it was like summer camp for adults and it was nice to just unplug for a while after a hectic semester.
All three of you attended different schools. And while that was a hard summerâs endâyou knew in some way itâd be good for you. The longest all four of you had been apart was a singular day since you were all seven years old. So eleven years laterâafter endless sleepovers, fights, makeups, robbing convenience stores blind, and late night phone callsâsaying goodbye and seeing your cars go in different directions was the hardest thing you ever had to do.
âI missed you guys,â you said softly.
Leehan sighed, giving up his seeming distressed demeanor. âWe missed you too,â he joined you and Shota as he wrapped his arms around you both. âHow was everything?â
You were too enraptured in the comfort of being in the arms of your friends to realize that there was a third of your heart missing. âIt was goodâŠLearn-y, school-y.â Your feet still dangled in the air as you scanned the room; even eyeing the bathroom door for a moment hoping someone would come out. But knowing that it was early noonâLeehanâs little siblings were at day camp and his parents were working. None of them would be back until later in the day.
But even then, something felt hollow. Wrong. And you knew it when you only felt two pairs of arms around you. âWhereâs Riki?â
Leehanâs arms stiffened first.
Not dramaticallyâjust this tiny, telltale pause like his brain hit a speed bump. Shota let you down from his hug a little too fast, brushing his hands on his shorts like he suddenly needed something to do.
You frowned. âHello? I said: whereâs Riki?â
Leehan cleared his throat. âUhâŠheâs, umâŠnot here.â
âNo shit. Where is he?â
Shota wouldnât look at you. He kept glancing at Leehan like he wanted permission to talk.
âGuys.â You crossed your arms. âIâve been home for ten minutes and youâre both acting like I asked you who killed Kennedy.â
Shota chimed in, âwasnât it Harvey Lee Oswald?â
Leehanâs eyes didnât leave you as he put his finger on Shotaâs chest. âLee Harvey Oswald and RikiâsâŠjust not really around.â He shook his head as he walked to plop down on the couch.
You tilted your head in confusion. Eyes squinting as you had trouble connecting the dots. âWhat does that even mean? Did he move or some shit?â Crossing your arms as you approached him.
âWe justâjust drop it, man.â Leehan sighs. âRikiâs irrelevant.â
Your lips parted in surprise as you drew back. âSinceâwhat? Heâs been our best friend and neighbor since we were in the second grade and heâs suddenly old news?â
Shota interjected, âcan you guys walk with me to the store? I want some chips.âÂ
Without looking at him, you nodded to the door.Â
Shota tugged his hoodie on and headed out first, leaving you and Leehan in this thick, uncomfortable silence that felt wrong in a house you practically grew up in.
The walk to the corner store was familiarâsame cracked pavement, same graffiti that had been there since middle schoolâbut the energy between the three of you was off. Shota kept kicking a pebble like it personally offended him. Leehan jammed his hands deep in his pockets, shoulders tight.
Halfway down the block, you tried again.
âSo weâre really not talking about it?â
Leehan exhaled hard through his nose. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
You snorted. âYouâre lying. Youâre bad at it. And you only get this weird when it has to do with some type of drama.â
Shota slowed his steps just enough for you to catch up. âLookâŠthings got messy while you were gone.â
âWhat does that mean?â
Another shared look. You hated that look. It meant youâre not gonna like this.
Leehan ran a hand through his hair. âHe wasnâtâŠhe wasnât really hanging with us much. We barely see him anymore.â
âSo? We were away. He stayed back because of his stupid ass brother. We know that.â You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
Reo, Rikiâs older brother, is heavily involved with a local gangâR12.Â
R for the familyâs first initial. 12 for the street you lived on.Â
The kind everyone on the block pretends not to see but knows better than to cross. The name carries weight. Trouble, too.
When junior year rolled around, all four of you discussed college and looked forward to moving onto the next chapter of your lives. Shota, Leehan, Riki, and you all thought about attending the same school. Just fun, adulthood, parties, no rules.
But senior year happened and things got serious. Reo was all Riki had. Their mother passed years ago, father was hardly around and Reo had to sacrifice school to follow his birthright: the gang. The same gang everyone warned you about, the same one Riki swore heâd only ever be âadjacentâ to.
It wasnât a choiceâmore like gravity. Reo demanded more, and Riki got dragged with him. It started small. Doing quick runs, disappearing in the middle of sleepovers, seeing him with small bruises on his ribs.Â
While the three of you were filing your FAFSAs, Riki hadnât even made his login yet. Because he foresaw it, he knew that it just wasnât in the cards for him. Reo made sure of it.
âMan, fuck him. Who even caresâŠ?â Shota rolled up his sleeves as he kept walking.
You shot him a look. âYou care. Donât start lying now. And donât talk about him like that.â
He didnât respondâjust kept walking, steps quick, like he could outrun the conversation.
Leehan let out a frustrated sigh. âItâs more than just him going through that. ThereâsâŠother stuff.â
âNo,â you snapped. âExplain it. Because right now you two sound like youâre mad at him for not juggling college applications while dodging gang members.â
Shota kicked at a crack in the sidewalk. âItâs not that.â
âSo what is it?!â You snapped, throwing your hands up in anger. âBro, Iâm tired of the fucking riddles like come on! What the fuck happened between when yâall got back and now?â Like usual, your temper was starting to overcome you but you inhaled sharply before the heat ran down your neck and into your gut. âWhy are you guys talking like heâs public enemy number one? You have five seconds before I find him myself.â
Leehan looked at Shota wearily, like he was asking for backup but knew he wasnât getting any. Shota just shrugged, wide-eyed, like you handle it, bro, and suddenly the air felt thick enough to chew.
Leehan dragged a hand down his face. âBecause he said some shit, okay?â
âThatâs vague as hell.â
He tried again. âHe told us something about you.â
You stared at him. âLike what? That I eat my toenails? That I punch idiots that take too long to get to the damn point? What?â
Shota winced like he knew a bomb was about to go off. âHe told us that you twoâŠhooked up before we left this year.â
Your mouth parted, breath catching. For a second, you didnât even reactâyour brain was too busy finding scenarios in which itâd be solid to break into his house and strangle him while he was sleeping. NahâŠthe front door was too obvious. All of our houses only have one floor so maybe taking a crowbar to his window wouldnât be such a bad start. Then the anger hitâfast, hot, bright.Â
It shot up your spine, tightened your jaw, curled your hands into fists before you even realized.
Leehan took one look at your face and actually stepped back. âOkayâalrightâletâs not do the murdery face right now.â
âMurdery?â you scoffed. âLeehan, Iâm being polite. You donât wanna see murdery.â
Shota nodded too fast. âYeah, sheâs being polite, bro. Super polite.â
You didnât even hear them. Your mind was still stuck on the image of Riki opening his stupid bedroom window at three in the morning to look at the streetâŠonly for you to be standing there with a crowbar like, hey bestie, remember me?
âLook,â Leehan put his hands on your shoulders as you heavedâa way of trying to push the anger below your feet. âWe didnât even believe him. We knew it was some bullshit and he didnât tell anyone else. Just us andâŠjustâŠâ He pursed his lips. âDonât worry, itâs contained.â
You shook your head as tears stung your eyes. Fists curled as you closed them and tapped your sneakers against the concrete. âIâm not gonna kill him.â
âMhm, youâre not gonna kill him.â He encouraged.
âSo youâre not gonna kill him?â Shota asked, a look of slight disbelief on his face.
âNot gonna.â You inhaled and exhaled smoothly as you opened your eyes. Letting the cool, Californian breeze run through your curly hair. âIâm going to chop his dick off with a cleaver and feed it to him.â You smiled as you backed up, booking it down the street.
Leehan didnât even get to yell your name before you took offâfull speed, booking it down the block with murder in your eyes.
âBROâGO! GO!â Shota yelped, sprinting after you like his life depended on it.
Leehan was right behind him. âWE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS! YOU CANâT JUSTâHEY!â
But you were already goneâcutting corners, hopping curbs, powered by pure betrayal and cardio-fueled vengeance.
By the time they caught up, you were stomping up Rikiâs steps, fist balled, and Shota barely managed to grab your arm as you slammed your hand against the metal screen door.
âRIKI!â you barked, pounding again like the door owed you money. âOPEN THE DAMN DOOR!â
The house door hummed a little as there seemed to be music playing from the inside. So loud that you donât even think your banging made a difference.
âDude, noââ Leehan walked forward, winded as he tried to reason with you. Shota grabbed him before he could advance further. âJust let herâŠâ
Without another word, you forced the door open. The conversations inside cease abruptly. A huge group of guys, probably ranging from late teens to even late twenties, are scattered throughout the house as your view was clouded by thick, strong smelling smog. Through it, the opened door was able to let some of it out for you to see through. The living room was nearly trashed: beer bottles, ashes, wrappers all over the floor as your brows knitted tighter with every step you took inside.
The air was so dense you could taste itâlike someone had hotboxed the entire zip code. The music thumped from somewhere deeper in the house, heavy bass rattling the picture frames and your last remaining nerve.
A couple dudes on the couch froze mid-laugh, eyes widening like theyâd just seen a ghost with anger-management issues. One guy halfway through rolling a joint dropped the paper entirely. Another blinked at you through the haze, squinting like you were a hallucination he wasnât sure he deserved.
Leehan and Shota hovered behind you in the doorway, both coughing like old men whoâd wandered into the wrong nursing home.
âGoddamn,â Shota muttered. âEven my eyelashes are high.â
âFocus,â Leehan hissed.
You scanned the roomâwrappers, beer bottles, someoneâs shoe (just one), a chair flipped upside down like it hadnât survived the last round of whatever chaos went down. And on the wall, barely visible through the smog, a neon light flickered BEER PONG CHAMPIONS, only barely hanging on.
Your voice came out low, deadly, and devastatingly clear:
âWhere is Riki?â
The boys closest to you stiffened like you were pointing a gun, not a question. Their eyes darted toward the hallway as one of them lifted a shaky hand and pointed to the kitchen.
You didnât even thank him.
You just stepped forward, shoulders squared, fury so sharp it cut through the haze better than the open door ever could.
Behind you, Leehan whispered, âYeah, no, sheâs gonna kill him.â
Shota sighed, resigned. âWe can at least make sure itâs quick.â It was weird, kind of bizarre seeing you disappear into the smoke.
âNuh-uh, Iâm not going in there with those people.â
As you walked through and turned the corner to the kitchen, you saw him standing in a small crowd with a blunt hanging from his fingers. The moment his eyes found yours, they glazed over. You werenât sure what exactly you saw in them. They were red, a little hazy and sleepy looking. But seeing you, blew it all.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with your brain?â You stomp over to him. âHuh?! I leave for writing camp and this is what Iâm welcomed by?â
Riki blinks at you, clearly caught off guard by your sudden appearance. He quickly leaned off the surface as he put the blunt out on the counterânot caring if it left a mark. âWoah, heyââ
One of his other associates, a guy with some ridiculous fine line tattoos, cuts in. He eyes you up and down with a condescending smirk. âWho the hell is this chick?â
You turned to him. âThis chick is Rikiâs supposed childhood best friend. But I guess he wouldnât know that.â Your attention goes back to Riki. âWho the fuck do you think you are? Disrespecting me like that to our friends?â
The guy stepped to you, his chest puffing up in anger. âWatch your mouth, little girlââ
âAlright,â Riki shook his head as he shifted his body to him. Shaking his head as his high was now fully blown. âYou better watch your mouth,â his finger wagged slowly as it lightly rested on the elderâs chest. âTake that bass out of your voice, thank you.â
The tension in the room thickened, the music playing through the house seemed distant now as you watched Riki come to your defense. It wouldnât be the firstâa part of you hoped it wasnât the last either. But the air seemed heavier than it did thirty seconds ago.
With a final sneer, the guy brushed Rikiâs hand off. âFine. But keep your friend under control, Riki. We donât need any outsiders causing any problems.â
âIâm an outsider?!â You laugh humorlessly, âplease askââ you approached him angrily but before you could get closer, Riki grabbed you by the armâhis grip surprisingly strong. Pulling you aside in the kitchen âYo, yoâcalm the hell down.â
âDonât tell me toââ
âGo outside.â He didnât raise his voiceâhe didnât have to. It was the tone. Low. Firm. The same one he used back when youâd get worked up over group project partners who didnât do their share. Except this time, the stakes were way higher than a C-minus.
You yanked your arm, ignoring how warm his hand had been. âIâm not going outside. Iâm not done talking to youââ
âI am not having this conversation in front of them,â he hissed, eyes flicking toward the guys watching like it was premium cable. âOutside. Now.â
âOh, so you can make decisions,â you snapped. âInteresting. Too bad you didnât use that skill before opening your fat-ass mouth to Shota and Leehan.â
Rikiâs jaw flexed. A muscle jumped. âBro, youâre gonna get yourself jumped, and then Iâm gonna have to deal with that and your yelling. Please. Outside.â
You scoffed, loud. âCute of you to assume I wouldnât beat their asses and yours.â
That earned you a few offended scoffs from the crowd.
Riki dragged a hand over his face, muttering something in Japanese you were ninety-eight percent sure meant âplease, God, not right now.â
With a tight breath, he stepped closerâclose enough that his voice dropped and you felt it more than heard it. âYouâre in my brotherâs house, surrounded by his people. You canât just bark at everyone and hope it ends well.â
You glared up at him, heat radiating off your skin like you were a human wildfire. âFunny. Because you didnât seem to care about the consequences when you told the guys we hooked up.â
His eyes widenedâthere it was. Guilt. Flashing across his face like lightning. âOut. Side.â He grit out. âDonât make me repeat myself.â
You stared him down, jaw tight, chest rising and falling like you were about to lunge first and think later. But the way he said itâlow, edged, almost shakingâ
Yeah. You knew that tone too.
So you spun on your heel and shoved past him, letting the front door slam behind you as you stepped into the warm air.
Riki followed seconds later, shutting the door softly this time. The music dulled to a muffled thump, the smoke-heavy air swapping out for something crisp, clearerâŠbut still thick between you two.
He stayed a few steps away, hands planted on his hips as he stared at the concrete like it offended him. His voice was low, steadying. âWhat the fuck is wrong with your crazy ass?!âÂ
âIâm not crazy! Iâm angry! How could sit up with our friends and justââ
âWhat?! Do what?â
 You shoved him hard but he barely stumbled. âFucking dick! Forget that I ever knew you. I never wanna see or hear from you again! JustâŠâ You hold up your hand in repugnance. âUgh!â Turning to cross the street to go directly to your house, Riki catches your arm before you can make another step. âStop, bitchâwhat part of âI fucking hate youâ do you not get?â
âJust let me explain! Look, before you at least try to walk out of my damn lifeâlet me tell youââ
You nudged him. âFuck off,â walking straight ahead and across the street to your house. Disappearing from the scene without another word. Riki groaned in annoyance, massaging his temples as he stood there. Torn between following you or respecting your desire for space.Â
But after a moment, he lifts the bottom of his black tank top, sighing into it before heâs approached by Shota and Leehanâboth boys coming out of the bushes.
Shota emerged first, twigs in his hair, looking like heâd just barely survived a nature documentary. ââŠSheâs alive, right?â he asked, glancing between the street you stormed across and Rikiâs murder-face.
Leehan stepped out after him, brushing leaves off his shirt. âWe werenât hidingâwe wereâŠtactically monitoring.â
Riki shot them both a look. âYou were crouched behind a bush.â
Shota whispered, âTactical,â under his breath.
Leehan ignored him, eyes locked on Riki. âSo? Did you fix it?â
Riki barked a humorless laugh. âDoes it look fixed?â
Both boys assessed him. Shota: ââŠYou look like you got hit by a car.â Leehan: âTwice.â
Riki dragged a hand over his face again, jaw tight, chest still rising a little too fast. âShe wonât even let me talk. I tried to explain, and sheââ he gestured vaguely toward your houseââwalked off like Iâm nothing to her.â
âThatâs because you messed up,â Leehan said bluntly. âLike really messed up. LikeâŠbadly.â
Shota hummed. âHonestly, I thought she was gonna deck you. And I was kinda ready to join in.â
Riki kicked a pebble, frustration simmering beneath his skin. âPlease, Iâve been kicking your ass since the sandbox.â
Shota bristled instantly. âBro, that was ONE timeââ
âIt was every time,â Riki shot back, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou used to fall over if someone breathed too hard.â
Leehan waved a hand. âYo, can we circle back to the part where you detonated your entire friendship in under thirty seconds?â
Rikiâs mouth pressed into a thin line. The high was gone. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was that tight ache in his chest, like someone was pulling each rib inward. âI didnât mean for her to find out like that,â he muttered.
Leehan deadpanned, âyou told us.â
âYeah, because youâre my boys,â Riki snapped, pacing a short line on the sidewalk. âI didnât think itâd turn into some weird telephone game while she was gone!â
âBut you lied on your dick though. What type of cornball does that?â Shota shrugged obviously.
âI didnâtââ He inhaled, his fists curling up as he punched his palmâleaving it stinging.
Leehan sighed. âSo youâre saying yâall fucked. She clearly holds the sentiment that you didnât soâŠwhoâs lying?â He opened his hands, prepared to receive any type of clarity on the situation.
âItâs not even about whoâs lying, how do I make her not angry enough to not want to punch me in the face?â He gestured to your house. âBro, her temper is insane! Sheâs like a fucking chihuahuaââ
Shota clapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes going wide. âOoh, Iâm telling on you.â
Leehan nodded gravely. âYeah, weâre really gonna jump your ass then.â
Riki groaned, dragging both hands over his face. âI didnât meanâIâm just saying she bites first and thinks later! Sheâs likeâlikeââ
âDonât finish that sentence,â Shota warned. âFor your own safety.â
Riki let his hands drop, exasperated. âIâm being serious. Sheâs not gonna listen to me. She wonât even stand still long enough for me to get a sentence out. Iââ He huffed. âI panicked, okay? I shouldnât have said weââ
âHooked up?â Leehan offered.
Riki shot him a dirty look. âShut up. I know it was stupid.â
Shota crossed his arms. âBro, she finished the year. She spends an extra few weeks on an isolated writing retreat. Missing time with us for whatever reason. She came home ready to hug you. And instead she got you with a blunt, a house full of gang extras, and a rumor that you two were bumping uglies behind her back. Of course sheâs mad.â
Riki winced. ââŠYeah.â
Leehanâs voice firm. âSo start with the truth.â
Riki blinked at him like that was the most unreasonable suggestion ever. âWhat truth?â
âThe real one,â Leehan said. âYou said something happened. She said nothing happened. So which one is it? What are we actually dealing with here?â
Rikiâs eyes flicked toward your house againâlike the answer was written behind your window.
Shota said absentmindedly, lips pursed as he looked down at the dirt beneath his shoes. âShe didnât say nothing happened.â
âWhat?â Leehan furrowed his brows.
âShe just got mad. She never said what did or didnât happen.â
Riki walked backwards to his house, arms spread in vindication. âHm. And you fuckers didnât believe me.â
Leehan rolled his eyes so hard it was audible. âRelax, Socrates. All she confirmed is that she hates your guts.â
Shota pointed at Riki with a half-shrug. âYeah, bro, donât act like this is some big âgotcha.â She didnât say you were lyingâŠbut she also looked ready to kick your shit in.â
Riki dropped his arms, irritation sliding back in. âStill. None of you believed me.â
âBecause your track record is dogshit,â Leehan said. âYou lie about stupid shit all the time. One time you said you could backflip off Shotaâs porch and you landed on his momâs hibiscus.â
âHey, that flowerbed recovered,â Riki muttered.
âNo, it didnât,â Shota said. âShe still brings it up at family dinners.â
Riki threw his head back with a groan. âBro, can we stay on topic?â
Leehan crossed his arms. âCool. That means weâre back to the original question: what actually went down?â
Rikiâs jaw ticked. He turned slightly, like the angle would help him dodge the question.
Shota wasnât letting him. âBro. Weâve known you since you had Lego hair. Just spit it out.â
A long beat.
Rikiâs tongue pressed against his cheek, eyes dropping to the sidewalk. âIâll catch yâall later.â He turned around fully to walk back up his steps.
âWhâhey!â Shota calls out.Â
Shota jogged after him, grabbing the back of his tank like a mom snagging a toddler about to run into traffic. âYou are not gonna hit us with the dramatic exit when youâre the one who started this whole novella.â
Riki yanked his shirt free with a scoff. âI didnât start anythingââ
âYou literally did,â Leehan yelled from the sidewalk. âYou started it with your mouth. And continued it with your mouth. And escalated it with yourâŠactually? Still your mouth.â
Riki spun around, eyes wide, offended. âCan the both of you get off my jock? Damn!â
Shota pointed at him, calm and judgmental like an annoyed substitute teacher. âNo. Because youâre being a loser. And I say that with love.â
Riki lifted both hands to his face, dragging them down like he could physically wipe the embarrassment off. âYâall are the worst friends alive.â
âAnd yet,â Leehan said, stepping closer, âweâre the only ones who can save your dumbass from getting rocked by your girl.â
âSheâs not my girl!â Riki snapped instantly, which absolutely no one believed.
Both boys blinked at him like heâd just said the sky was green.
Shota said. âAnd Iâm Scooby Doo.â
Leehan pointed at the door behind Riki. âStop stalling. We asked what happened. You clearly donât want to say it. Why?â
Rikiâs throat bobbed.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Shifted his weight.
Looked everywhere except at them.
Then booked it right into the house. Locking the door behind him with a click.
Shota and Leehan just stared at the locked door like it had personally offended them.
A beat.
Then another.
ââŠDid he justâ?â Shota blinked.
âYeah,â Leehan said flatly. âHe ran.â
â
The rest of the night was a weird one. It felt like your college nights. Locked away in your space, biding the time until you were finally set free from the deadlines and expectations and able to leave. To be with your family but your friends most importantly.
All three of those boys meant something differently to you; and it almost made you worry about how your life wouldâve transpired if you hadnât been put next to them for talking too much.
Leehan was the diplomat. The water to everyoneâs fire as the eldest one of the quartet. The one that spoke when you four were sent to the principalâs office for setting off a stinkbomb in Mrs. Jensonâs art class.
Shota was always in his own world. But he meant it for all of you. He was nearly impossible to hate to the point where if you were too mean to him, youâd start crying. Not only was he unreasonably peculiar at all times, he was the friend that youâd call in the middle of the night just to talk and heâd answer like he wasnât mid rapid eye movement.
Riki was always very tricky. The rhyme was not intended, I promise. He was the wild card. The spark. The kid who lived like he had a personal vendetta against boredom. Heâd drag you into trouble with a grin, swear you were overreacting, and then somehow sweet-talk the consequences down to a warning. He could charm adults, piss off authority, and get the three of you laughing in the same breath.
But he was also the one who always noticed.
When you were too quiet. When your knee bounced under the desk. When you smiled but didnât mean it.
Heâd nudge your foot with his sneaker. Or toss you a note. Or mouth a stupid joke until you cracked.
Riki was complicated. Not in the dramatic wayâmore in the âwhy does your chest feel weird when he looks at you too longâ way.
Tonight he had you feeling everything except calm. You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it contained answers or at least a refund policy for emotional tax. The house was quiet. Too quiet. The kind that made your thoughts echo.
Shota, Leehan, Riki. Your boys. Your constants. Your headaches.
You exhaled slowly, sinking deeper into your mattress. Youâd kill them before you ever lost them. Probably.
Just then, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard a sharp knock on your window. Turning your head to the right, you almost fell off your bed as Riki stood thereâtall and looming over your window in a black hoodie.
He lifted a hand and knocked againâlighter this time, like that made it any less insane.
You hissed under your breath, scrambling off the bed and practically tripping over your blanket as you marched to the window. Sliding it up, you whispered harshly, âAre you out of your mind?!â
Riki blinked at you, equal parts guilty and stubborn. âYou werenât answering your phone.â
âSo your next idea was breaking into my house?â
âItâs not breaking in if the windowâs unlocked,â he shrugged, already hooking his fingers over the sill like he was about to climb in whether you liked it or not.
You smacked his hand. âTry it and Iâm calling the cops.â
âYou wonât.âÂ
âI absolutely will.âÂ
âYou wonât,â he repeated, annoyingly sure.
He leaned closer, breath puffing in the cool night air. âCan you justââ His jaw clenched. âLet me talk to you.â
You crossed your arms. âTalk from out there.â
Riki shot you a look like you were being intentionally difficult. (You were.) âItâs cold.â
âItâs a Californian summer night, itâs sweater weather at best.â You shrug haphazardly.
âIâm anemic.â
âNo. Iâm anemic.â
âSame difference.âÂ
âGo.â You lightly pushed him back and out of the windowsill. âDonât you have gang members to go rob a bank with, hard-ass?â
Rikiâs face twisted like youâd just accused him of running a puppy-smuggling ring. âRob aâwhat?!â he whisper-yelled, gripping the window frame before you could shut it. âYou think Iâd rob a bank with them? Half those dudes canât even do basic math!â
âSounds like a personal problem,â you said, trying to pry his fingers off the sill.
He held on tighter.
You glared. He glared back, a standoff worthy of a Western, except you were in pajamas and he looked like a raccoon rifling through trash.
âWhy are you still here?â you hissed.
âBecause,â he snapped back in a whisper, âmy name is getting dragged through the mud, my best friend hates me, my other two best friends think Iâm an idiotââ
âTheyâre right.â
ââand you still wonât let me explain!â
You gripped the window and started lowering itâslowly, deliberatelyâlike a villain pressing a big red button.
Rikiâs eyes went huge. âDonât youâdonât you dare close this window on me.â
You kept lowering it.
âBroââ Down another inch.
âAre you serious right nowââ Another inch.
He shoved his hand under the frame, blocking it like some tragic action hero trying to stop a garage door from crushing him. âIâm not finished!â
âYou said plenty,â you replied, voice flat as drywall. âSo weâre even.â
âI didnât get to say anything!â he whisper-yelled, face squished awkwardly under the descending window. âOkayâI said a little. But not in the way you thinkâow, thatâs my knuckleâcan you justâSTOPââ
You paused just long enough for him to yank his hand out before he lost a finger.
He immediately slapped both palms on the windowsill, breathless, like heâd just survived a natural disaster. âWhat is wrong with you?!â
âYou came to my window atââ you checked the analog clock on the wall, ââone forty-six in the morning looking like you crawled out of a crime documentary and Iâm the problem?â
He pointed at you, indignant. âYes!â
You pushed the window down another inch. Closing it.Â
He groaned, âoh come on you canâtââ He watched you lower the blinds, your narrowed eyes the last thing he saw before you closed the curtains. âPlease?â Riki sighed, leaning against the window as he called out. âCome on, open up for me? Pleaseââ
The TV you had on only increased in volume.
Rikiâs head thunked against the glass like he was trying to transfer his brain cells through osmosis. âAre youâare you SERIOUS right now? Youâre gonna drown me out with The OC?!â
You didnât answer.
Cue the theme music swelling louder.
âBoo.â Knock, knock, knock. âBunnyboo, I know you hear me.â
Silence.
Another knock, faster. âBro, donât do me like this. At least yell at me through the glass. Throw something. Flip me off. Give me anything!â
You turned the TV up another two notches.
He pressed his forehead to the window again, palms flat, voice dropping lowâhalf pleading, half warning. âDonât make me climb in here. I swear to God, I will break in like a raccoon with a vendettaââ
A pillow smacked the glass from insideâthe clanging of the blinds as it hit the hard surface.
He flinched. ââŠOkay. Message received.â
But he didnât leave.
He stayed right thereâpacing once, twiceâbefore finally planting himself on the little strip of concrete beneath your window, sitting down like he paid rent there. Legs stretched out, hoodie bunched at his elbows, head tipped back against your siding. âCome onâŠâ He whispered to himself.
He rubbed both hands over his face, dragging down like he could physically peel the stress off. âIâm gonna die out here,â he muttered. âSheâs actually gonna let me freeze to death on suburban concrete. Damn.â
You muted the TV for two secondsâjust long enough for him to perk upâbefore turning it right back on. He deflated so hard you could practically hear it.
âWow,â he said to the night sky. âSheâs evil. Sheâs actually evil. And she wonders why I lie awake at night thinking aboutââ
You whacked the window again with another pillow.
He jumped. âHEYâokay, okay! I take it back! Youâre not evil, youâre justââ He paused, searching for something nice. ââtemperamental.â
Another pillow hit the glass.
He held both hands up like he was being detained. âHow many pillows do you have?!â
For a moment, he just sat there, breathing out shaky frustration, knees bent, arms draped loosely over them. The porch light cast him in soft gold, and for once he didnât look like the loudmouthed, idiotic menace whoâd started this whole mess.
He looked like someone whoâd been losing his mind over you all night. And thenâquietly, almost too quiet: ââŠBoo. Please let me fix this.â
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, fingers tapping anxiously.
âI didnât tell them what you think I did,â he said, softer. âI swear. I didnât make you look stupid. I didnâtââ His voice caught. âI didnât disrespect you. Not the way youâre imagining.â
You froze behind the blinds.
He exhaled like the words tasted bitter. âI didnât even tell them everything. Not the stuff thatâŠmattered.â
He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the roots.
âYou think Iâm out here playing around,â he said. âBut Iâm not. And I donât know how to prove that when you wonât open the damn window.â
You didnât move. He didnât expect you to.
He tilted his head back against the siding again, eyes closing, breath leaving him in a quiet, frustrated laugh. âFine,â he murmured. âIâll sit out here all night if I have to.â
A pause.
âKnowing my dumbass? I probably will.â
Then, he heard movement from inside the house. Leaning into the siding did he lean up as his heart rate jumped. He stood up, brushing his sweats off as he walked around the front of the house. Only for him to be met with your momârobe, bonnet, and sleepy-face in tow.
Riki froze mid-step, eyes widening like heâd just walked into a horror scene. âUhâŠhi?â His voice cracked somewhere between sheepish and terrified.
Your mom blinked at him, hands on her hips, taking in the hoodie, the sweatpants, the midnight energy radiating off him like a storm cloud. âRiki Nishimura,â she said slowly, voice low but deadly calm. âWhat exactly are you doing on my lawn atââ she glanced at her phoneââalmost two in the morning?â
âIâuhââ He raised his hands like a surrendering cartoon character. âI had to go to the store for Reo. I forgot my keys and now Iâm locked outâŠâ This wouldnât be the first time heâs lied to your mom, it was just about whether sheâd believe him. âI called him a few times and heâs not answering soâŠâ
âSoâŠyou couldnât go to either of the other boyâs houses? You had to come to my daughterâs?â
Rikiâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. He looked like a fish trying to talk its way out of being dinner. âWellâokayâhear me out,â he blurted, already panicking. âI would sleep at Shotaâs but he snores insanely loud and the last time I did, he almost suffocated from the pillow I put over his face. And Leehan is entirely too particular about how I sleep like he wants the bed split right inââ
Your mom gave him a look so dry it couldâve dehydrated a cactus. âInside. Now. Before I start asking real questions.â
Riki nodded so fast his hood nearly flew off. âYes maâam. Thank you.â
But as he followed her toward the door, he couldnât stop the tiny, hopeful glance he threw toward your windowâpraying you hadnât heard any of that, even though he knew deep downâŠyou definitely had.
He kicked his shoes off as he entered, âI promise Iâll be outââ he whispered.
âShut up, youâre not a guest here. I love you, goodnight.â She yawned as she walked the opposite way to her room.Â
âLove you too, sleep well.â He whispered back.
Riki stood in the hallway like someone whoâd just been adopted and arrested in the same breath. He watched your mom disappear down the hall, the soft shuffle of her slippers fading.
He took two small steps forward. Then froze when the floorboard under him squeaked loud enough to wake the dead. He saw your shadow moving around in your room from the small sliver of light that poked through the gap of the frame and door itself. His gut told him to speed up down the hall. To which he didâswiftlyâbefore you could close the door on him.Â
But he beat you there, wedging himself in. âGotcha.â He beamed, shimmying through as he closed it softly behind him.Â
âAre you crazy?â You whisper-yelled. âComing into my house like this? Lying to my mom?!â
âIâm just as crazy as you are.â He unzipped his hoodie, tossing it onto the rack on your closet door. âDonât act like you havenât lied to Reo however many timesââ
âThatâs different. If weâre gonna be out late or something butââ
âLook, I donât care about any of that. I came to fix things with you.â He stepped forward, ensuring you looked up at him. âJust hear me outâŠtwo minutes.â You studied himâhair messy from the wind, shirt rumpled, socks mismatched, eyes big and tired and a little frantic. You hated how familiar he looked in your room. Like this wasnât the first time heâd slipped in after midnight.
âYou get one.â You nod once. âAnd take off those dirty ass pants.â You sighed as you turned to your drawers. Scouring until you landed on a clean pair of black sweats.
With some rustling behind you, Riki stripped out of his pants. Revealing his black Calvin Klein boxers that you loved so much. That he knew you went crazy for.
ââŠDid you seriously justâ?â
âWhat?â he said, way too innocent for someone in nothing but briefs in your bedroom at two in the morning. âYou told me to take âem off.â
âI meant go change in the bathroom, you psychopath.â
He blinked. âWhy would I walk all the way to the bathroom when your room is right here?â
You stared at him.
He stared back like this was the most logical sentence any human had ever spoken.
âRiki,â you said slowly, pointing the sweats at him like a weapon. âPut these on before I throw holy water at you.â
He snatched the pair from your hand with a tiny smirkâone he tried (and failed) to hide by looking down. âYou always give me the soft ones,â he murmured, pulling them on.
âWell theyâre yoursâŠâ you sigh, plopping right onto the edge of your bed.
He froze midâpull, waistband halfway up his hips. ââŠWhat?â
You blinked at him. âWhat, what?â
He let the rest of the sweats snap into place, slow, like his brain was rebooting. âDid you just say theyâre mine?â
You groaned, falling back on your palms. âYes, Riki, congratulations, you own a pair of cotton-poly blend sweatpants. Donât let it go to your head. So what? Youâve been here like a trillion times.â
But of course it did. You watched the shift happen in real timeâhis shoulders relaxing, his mouth tugging into that stupid boyish halfâsmile he only ever got when he felt special.
He toed his discarded pants into a pile and padded over to you, the soft thud of his mismatched socks making him look criminally at-home in your space. âTheyâre mine,â he repeated, quieter this time. Like heâd just been handed a family heirloom instead of laundry.
You rolled your eyes. âRiki, donât get sentimental, itâs literally the third time youâve forgotten to take them back.â
He dropped down beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed. âStill counts.â
âIt doesnât.â
âIt does,â he said, leaning back on his hands so his arm pressed along yours. ââCause that means when I come overâŠyou expect me to stay.â
Your breath stutteredâjust barely, but enough.
His voice softened. âAnd I know youâre pissed. And I know youâre pretending youâre not glad Iâm here.â A beat. âBut you said theyâre mine.â
He nudged your knee with his. âLet me explain, Boo. Please.â
Your knee bounced, nerves bubbling up in the pit of your stomach as you looked down at your hands in your lap. âYou promised, Riki. That you wouldnât tell anyone what happened that night.â
Rikiâs breath caughtânot loud, not dramatic, just this tiny break in his chest like your words had clipped something vital. He didnât move at first. Just stared at you, jaw set, eyes searching your profile like the truth might be written somewhere on your cheek. âIâŠI didnât tell them in a malicious way.â
You turned your head as your anger bubbled up in your stomach. But he knew how to placate you. âNo, no, noâŠlisten. Look at me.â He gently grabbed your shoulders to turn you to face him. âDamn, youâre like a pitbull.â
You slapped his hands off your shoulders instantly. âDonât call me a pitbull.â
âYou are a pitbull,â he shot back, whisperâyelling. âSmall. Angry. Bites without warning.â
âIâm literally taller than you,â you snapped.
âYou are not taller thanâokay, you know what, thatâs not the point.â He dragged a hand down his face, regrouping, then looked at you with that maddening mix of exasperation and adoration that made you want to smack him and kiss him in the same breath. âListen to what Iâm saying.â
You crossed your arms so hard your shoulders creaked.
He leaned forward, matching your intensity with his own. âI was just doing it for your protection.â He watched your face blend into confusion. âNot from the guys, from the guys my brother deals with.â
âUmâŠ?â
âWhile you were gone, some of them were saying that they were gonna get at you when you came back. Obviously by that point, me and you alreadyâŠâ He trailed off. âAnd it was under wraps. But the way they were talking,â he shook his head, his tongue poking his cheek as he recalled the repulsive language. âI had to âclaimâ you. Let them know you were mine.â
âIâm not an object, Riki.â
âI know, Boo. I know. I didnât wanna put you in that position but I had to for the sake of those guys leaving you alone when you got back.â
Your brows pulled together, the heat in your chest shiftingâstill anger, but now tangled with something colder, sharper. âThatâs not protection,â you said quietly.
Riki winced like youâd flicked him right in the soul. âI know. I know that. And if there was any other wayâliterally anyâI wouldâve taken it.â
You stared at him, trying to read past the excuses, past the dramatics, past the Riki-isms he wrapped himself in like bubble wrap. But his eyes werenât dodging. Nor were they defensive. Just tired. And tense. AndâŠa little fearful.
Your voice softened a notch. âWhy didnât you just tell me?â
He huffed out a laughâdry, humorless, one shoulder lifting. âBecause youâd say exactly what youâre saying now. That I donât get to âclaimâ you. That youâre not a trophy. That you donât need saving.â He added, âplus by that time you were at your retreat, didnât have your phone. Was I supposed to send a smoke signal? Letter in a bottle?â
âIt wouldâve been appreciated.â You scoffed, crossing your arms. âI canât stand you sometimes.â
Riki groaned, âdude, youâre so immature.â
âMe?!â You gasped, âIâm immature yet you fold under zero pressure and stutter when you lie?â
âDonât do that. Weâre grown now, I shouldnât even be lying to anybody.â
âRight. So telling your groupies about our night of passion was sooo grown?â
He smiled, boyishly. âSo you thought there was passion?â Slowing reaching his hand over to your waist before you smacked it away.
âNo! Iâm just saying that youâre a dick and never consider me for anything. Not me, Leehan, or Shota.â
Riki looked at you like you had three heads. âAre youâwhat are you talking about?â
You scoffed, âhow did they even find out? Leehan told me that only he and Shota knew. Now youâre saying thatââ
âI told them after the fact so they wouldnât have to hear it from anybody else!â He stood up, âgosh, how low do you think I am? Like, do you really think Iâm just some loser?â
Your head snapped up at his tone. He wasnât yelling, but the hurt in his voice sliced sharp enough.
âRiki, thatâs notââ
âNo, because youâre talking like Iâm out here giving press conferences about our business.â He pointed at himself, brows furrowed, genuinely offended. âYou think Iâd embarrass you like that? You think Iâd embarrass myself like that?â
You opened your mouth, shut it, then crossed your arms tighter. âI think you do dumb things without thinking.â
His laugh was one sharp exhale. âYeah? So do you.â
âThat is not the pointââ
âIt is,â he cut in, stepping closer, eyes locked on yours with that frustrating intensity that made your stomach flip. âBecause youâre acting like Iâm some clown who doesnât care about you. Like Iâd run around bragging about us to look cool. Thatâs not me. Thatâs never been me.â
You faltered. Just a hiccup. Barely noticeableâexcept he noticed everything. âSo telling people about us having sex on a summer nightââ
âGod, what do you not get?!â He put his hands out in frustration, âI didnât tell anyone for fun! Or to lie on my dickânot that it was even a lie. I did it because otherwise, youâd have some weird ass guys pushing up on you and I canât have that. For my sanity or your safety.â
You sighed dramatically, crossing your arms as you looked away from him. Turning your head away like you were a child.
âLook at me.â Riki said firmly but to no avail.
âHm.â You shrugged as you crossed your legs. Your bare legs rubbing together over your checkered pajama shorts.
He shook his head. âDude, you need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a petulant child.â
You snapped your head back toward him so fast you almost gave yourself whiplash. âPetulant?â you echoed, voice shooting up an octave. âOh, wow. Big word. Did you eat a dictionary for breakfast orââ
âSee?â he barked, throwing his hands up. âThat! That right there!â
âWhat right there?!â
âYou act like you donât care but then you get mad like you care the most.â He pointed at you like you were a math problem heâd been failing for years. âYou canât even look at me without doing the dramatic little eye-roll-head-turn comboââ
âI do notââ
âYou do,â he cut in, stepping forward, voice firm, eyes sharp. âYouâre doing it right now.â
Your jaw dropped. âI am notââ
âYou are,â he repeated, exasperated beyond mortal comprehension. âAnd itâs fineâlike, itâs actually kinda cute when youâre not actively trying to ruin my lifeâbut right now? Right now I need you to stop pretending youâre five years old and actually hear me.â
You scoffed so loud the walls probably shook. âFive years old? Riki, I swear to Godââ
âNo, seriously.â He crouched down a bit so he was more level with you, eyes narrowing just enough to make your pulse jump. âGrow. Up.â
Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened.
You were halfway to telling him off when he added, annoyingly soft:
âIâm trying to talk to you. Not fight. Not yell. Talk. But youâre making it impossible.â
You blinked at him, chest tight, fury and embarrassment and something dangerously close to vulnerability twisting together.
His voice dropped low. âStop looking away from me. I hate when you do that.â
âIâm notââ
âYou are.â He leaned in, jaw tight. âAnd it makes me feel like you donât care.â
That sentence froze you mid-breath. ââŠWhat?â you whispered.
Your heartbeat kicked up so loudly you were sure he could hear it. You sat there, arms crossed, shoulders tense, but eyes finallyâfinallyâon him.
Riki looked back at you with an honesty that stripped every smart remark right off your tongue.
âStop acting like Iâm some villain,â he murmured. âIâm just trying to keep you safe.â He reached up, brushing a curl that fell out of your ponytailâbehind your ear. âAnd with that funky ass temper, I canât get a word in.â
You stare at him for a moment, tilting your chin to the side his hand was on as your eyes flit to the side. Like you were almost embarrassed to enjoy physical touch from him. âRiki.â
âYes?â
âHow long have you known me for? Do you remember?â
His hand froze halfway down your cheek like youâd just hit him with a pop quiz he absolutely did not study for.
ââŠHuh?â he blinked.
You sighed, leveling him with a stare that couldâve melted steel. âHow long have you known me? Since when?â
Riki straightened, shoulders pulling back as if bracing for impact. âSince we were seven.â
âAnd in all those years,â you continued, voice low, âhas there ever been a moment where my mouth hasnât gotten me or one of us into some type of trouble?â
He pursed his lips in thought, his eyes seeming to search through the crevices of his brain. âUmâŠno not really.â Riki looked back from ages seven to twentyâtrying to assess when your sharp tongue and impulsive actions hadnât done them well.
âSee?â You smiled in jest. âAnd you guys just accept me for me. This is who I am. And the fact that you hate it now all of a suddenââ
Riki rolls his eyes, frustration flaring in his chest. âNo oneâs saying we donât accept you,â he retorts, his tone firm. âBut just because weâve put up with your bullshit for years doesnât mean you canât be held accountable for your words and actions. This isnât some free pass to act like a brat whenever you want.â
âYes it is!â You laugh, âbecause I accept you for all your shit. Youâre like a diet version of me.â
Rikiâs whole face twisted, âplease. Youâre the most mini-me of anyone I know.â
âAre you trying to son me?âÂ
Riki laughed, leaning into you as he laid his head on your shoulder. âYou are my son, you wanna be like me soooo bad.â
You shoved his forehead lightly. âShut up.âÂ
He blinked at you, affronted. âDonât hit your daddy.â
You smacked him again.
âHEYââ
âKeep talking like that,â you warned, âand Iâm putting you in the home early.â
He leaned back, pointing at you like you were the crazy one. âYou canât put me in the home. Youâre my dependent.â
âRiki, I am older than you.â
âThatâs what makes this so embarrassing for you,â he said, absolutely delighted with himself. âImagine being older and still being my mini-me.â
Your eye twitched so violently he had to bite back a laugh.
Then he softened, just a littleâhead tilting, voice dropping. âCome on, Boo. Iâm messing with you.â His shoulder nudged yours. âYou know I donât think of you like that.â Leaning his head back on your shoulder as he reached down for your hand. âIâm sorry, again.â
You triedâtriedâto keep your spine stiff, arms crossed, jaw tight. But the second his fingers brushed yours, your whole posture betrayed you. Your hand didnât curl around his, but it didnât pull away either. It justâŠsat there. Suspiciously compliant.
You exhaled, staring at the wall like it might give you divine guidance.
âI know.â His thumb brushed your knuckles. âI messed up. I scared you. I made you feel played. I talked too much, I didnât talk enoughâI know.â He lifted his head just enough to look at you. âBut I wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear to God, Boo, every dumb thing I did was me trying to keep you safe.â
Your throat tightened despite every effort to swallow the feeling down.
âAnd I know you donât like being protected,â he added, voice threading into something shy. âBut you matter to me. In a way that makes it hard to think straight sometimes.â
Ever since you could remember meeting him, Riki had been your protector. And the worst part? Heâd never even asked for the job.
He justâŠtook it.
The kid who yanked you out of trouble before you even recognized it. The teenager who stood in front of you during every argument you started. The grown man now sitting in your bedroom at two in the damn morning, wearing your/his pants and looking at you like you were the whole reason he learned how to fight in the first place.Â
His knuckles grazed your jaw as he leaned in, nudging your cheek with his nose the way he always did when he was trying to make you smile. It workedâof course it didâyour laugh spilling out small and helpless. âYour hero, your knightâŠâ he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. The smile that followed wasnât cocky or teasing, but something almostâŠbashful. Like he couldnât believe heâd earned the right to say it out loud. âRemember?â
But the word hero didnât even begin to cover it.
Heâd been a shadow and a shield, a tether and a torchâalways one step ahead of whatever chaos you were about to fling yourself into. He carried your messes like they weighed nothing, shouldered your storms like they were summer rain. Half the time you wondered if heâd been assigned to you at birth, like some overworked guardian angel who accidentally got attached.
And you did remember. Every version of him. Every moment heâd stepped between you and the world like it was instinct. Like saving you was simply something he knew how to doâbefore he even knew how to save himself.
âMhm,â you noddedâbarely, quietly, like admitting it too loudly might crack something wide open between you.
His eyes softened even more at that tiny sound, as if your agreement carried an entire lifetime of shared secrets. His fingers slipped from your jaw to the side of your neck, feather-light, tracing the spot he always touched when he was trying to ground youâŠor ground himself. You could feel the tremor hiding in his thumb. He was steady for everyone elseâimpenetrable, unshakableâbut with you? His armor always rattled just a little.
âGood,â he whispered, almost like he needed reassurance. Like he was afraid you mightâve forgotten who heâd always tried to be for you.
You hadnât. God, you hadnât.
If anything, the memories rose up all at onceâhim grabbing your sleeve before you stepped into the street at eight years old, him taking the blame for something youâd said at twelve, him pulling you behind him during the campfire argument at fifteen, eyes dark and jaw set like heâd burn the whole forest down before he let someone talk to you sideways. Him now, sitting inches from you, still trying to guard you from something invisible in the room.
He leaned in a little closer, forehead nearly brushing yours, his voice lowering like the hour demanded honesty. âI always wanted to be that for you,â he said. âEven when you didnât need me to be.â
Your chest tightenedânot painfully, but in that terrifyingly sweet way that told you he meant every word. âItâs not like I need you anywayâŠâ You smile shyly as you nudge him with your elbow.Â
âNo?â He laughed, âyou donât need me, Boo?â He beamed, wrapping his arms around your waistâpulling your side into him.
You shook your head, ânopeâoof! Dudeââ
Burying his face into your neck as he blew raspberries into it, he pulled you back flat onto the bed as you both laughed. You hit the mattress with a soft thud, breath catching in your throat before dissolving into helpless laughter. âRikiâstopâ!â you wheezed, kicking a leg uselessly as he doubled down, arms locked around you like heâd been waiting all night for an excuse to tackle you.
He blew another loud, obnoxious raspberry against your neck, the kind that made your whole body jolt. âDonât need me, huh?â he taunted, his words muffled against your skin as he climbed on top of you. âSay it again. Go ahead. I dare you.â
You tried to twist away, but his grip only tightened, warm and solid and stupidly comforting. âI donâtâ!â you squeaked, halfway grinning, halfway choking on your own breath. âI donât needâRiki, seriouslyâ!â
âLiar,â he declared, without even giving you a chance to finish, pressing his forehead into the curve of your shoulder like you were some sort of pillow he owned. âBiggest liar Iâve ever met.â
You fought him for another secondâmaybe twoâbefore your muscles gave out in that familiar way they always did around him. The laughter faded into a soft, breathless quiet, the room still humming with the echo of it. His weight settled over you, heavy and warm, like heâd decided this was his new home address.
He exhaled against your neck, softer this timeâpressing a gentle kiss there before he raised his head. Nose to nose with you as you both smiled when your eyes met, his voice dropping back to something unbearably gentle. âHow was school? You havenât found my replacement yet, huh?â
âNuh-uhâŠno one could ever replace you.â
His lips quirkedânot into that smug little smirk he wore when he was winning, but something smaller, almost startled. Like he hadnât expected you to hand him an answer that soft, that honest, without putting up some kind of fight first.
His fingers brushed your waist, thumb tracing slow, unconscious circles like he was memorizing the shape of you. âYeah?â he murmured, the word barely more than a breath. âYou saying IâmâŠirreplaceable?â
You rolled your eyes, but it came out ruinedâtoo fond, too warm. âThatâs literally what âno one could ever replace youâ means.â
His thumb paused mid-circle on your waist, the warmth of his touch lingering like a question he was scared to ask out loud.
âYeah, butâŠâ he said slowly, eyes flicking over your face as if trying to read something between your lashes. âYou say stuff like that and then pretend weâre justââ He waved a hand vaguely. âNothing.â
Your breath caught. Not because he was wrong, but because he was painfully, dangerously right. âWe are nothing,â you said a little too quickly, a little too defensively. âLikeâwe have to be. You know how itâd look if anyone found out.â
Riki stared at you like youâd just told him the sky was green. âHow itâd look to who? Our friends?â
âYes!â You sat up slightly, annoyed that he wasnât getting it. âIf they think Iâm sneaking around with you, itâs gonna make everything weird. I donât want Leehan or Shota or anybody else thinking thereâsâŠa thing. I donât want a rift.â
âA rift,â he repeated, deadpan. âYou think you and me laughing at two in the morning in your bed is gonna break up the Fantastic Four?â
âThatâs not funny.â
âIt wasnât a joke.â He tugged you a tiny bit closer by your hip, eyes locked on yours. âBoo, weâve gotten through worse. Theyâre not gonna fall apart because weââ He hesitated, jaw working. ââbecause we care about each other differently now.â
You swallowed hard, your voice smaller now. âI just donât want them picking sides.â
His expression softened like melting wax. He leaned his forehead to yours again, gentler this time. âNo oneâs picking sides. Not unless you start picking fights again, and even then Iâm still betting on you.â
You snorted, the tension easing just an inch.
He took the opportunity, slipping a hand up your back, grounding you with his warmth. âLook,â he murmured, âI get not wanting to make waves. I do. But donât pretend this is nothing just to keep the peace.â
Your heartbeat thudded once, sharp and loud.
âBecause itâs not nothing,â he whispered. âNot to me.â
âI know, RikiâŠJustâplease?â You bring your hand up to his cheek, brushing his chiseled jaw. Though he shook his head slowly with soft eyes, you whisperedâlips brushing against his as you mumbled. âPlease, for me? PleaseâŠ?â
His breath hitched the second your lips grazed hisâsoft enough to deny, close enough to ruin him. His eyes fluttered half-shut, like he couldnât decide whether to lean in or back away before he did something stupid. âBabyâŠâ His voice was barely sound now, more exhale than words. You felt it against your mouth, warm and shaky. âYou know Iâd do anything you asked.â
You nudged closerânot kissing him, not quite, just letting the shape of him press into the shape of you. Your palm was warm on his jaw, your thumb sweeping the curve of his cheekbone. His breath stuttered again. âBut youâre asking me to pretend,â he murmured, eyes opening fully. âTo pretend I donâtâŠfeel this. With you. About you.â
Your fingers flexed at his skin, and he shivered.
âIâm not asking you to pretend,â you whispered back. âIâm just asking you to help me protect what we already have. Before anyone else gets involved. Before it turns into drama or sides or expectations. I justâŠwant us. Quietly. Carefully.â
His jaw clenched under your handâless anger, more restraint. The kind he only ever showed with you.
âAnd if I say yes,â he asked, voice low, âdoes that mean I only get you in moments like this? When the doorâs closed and everyoneâs asleep?â
Your throat bobbed.
âIf thatâs what it takes to make sure that we donât ruin our group.â you whispered.
For a beat, he didnât breathe. Didnât blink. Just stared at you, his forehead pressing to yours like he was steadying himself on the only thing that hadnât ever failed him.
Then he exhaled, long and quiet, his hand sliding from your back to cradle the side of your neck. âFine,â he murmured. âFor you.â His nose brushed yours, gentle, aching. âBut donât ask me to act like you donât mean something to me. Even if no one else gets to know yet.â
His thumb traced your throat, slow, deliberate. âI canât fake that. Not even for you.â
â
The next morning
â
âCousin?!â Leehan called out to his mom as she moved through the kitchen. âWhat cousin?!â
Mrs. Kim sighed as she chopped up vegetables, using the knife as a pointer to gesture to the basket of laundry on the counter that she needed her son to fold. âMy friend from high school, Alexa, is sending her daughter to go to school here.â
With a roll of the eye, âschool or university? Neither start for another month and a half.â He goes to fold some of the shirts in the basket. Tucking in the small ones of his younger brother and sister.
âShe got into USC. I thought she could stay here, hang out with you and your friends. Just to get acclimated.â She says, looking down as she chops up a carrot. âHer momâs staying back in Honduras where they live now and she just wanted to get out. See the world other than where sheâs from. You get it.â
Leehan sighed, âwe donât need another buddy; and why do we need another person in here? Itâs already crowded as is.â His little siblings breeze past him, pushing him into the counter as they giggleârunning amok in the kitchen and living room.
Mrs. Kim slammed the knife down with a sneer. âNo playing in the living room! Go in the yard!â
The two little ones scattered instantly, shrieking as they bolted for the back door. Leehan winced, rubbing the spot on his hip where a rogue elbow had caught him. âSee?â he muttered. âChaos. Pure chaos. And you wanna add another college student into this circus?â
His mom didnât even look up as she slid the carrots into a bowl. âSheâs not just any college student. Sheâs Alexaâs daughter. And sheâs never lived away from home before. Sheâll need support.â
âSupport,â he echoed flatly. âRight. And by support you mean me.â
Mrs. Kim shot him a look that could level a grown man. âI mean all of us. But especially you. Youâre the oldest. Responsible. Reliable.â
He blinked. âMom, you asked me to unclog the shower last week and I nearly passed out from the smell.â
âExactly,â she said, patting his cheek. âBuilds character.â
He groaned into the laundry basket. âAnd whatâs her name?â he asked, voice muffled in defeat.
âXiomara.â
Leehan lifted his head like sheâd just announced they were adopting a Bengal tiger. âXiomara?â he repeated, slowly, like the name itself was a threat. âMom, that sounds like a girl who walks into a room and immediately ruins my life.â
Mrs. Kim swatted his arm with a dish towel. âSheâs very sweet!â
âThatâs what people said about Riki before he started bossing me around,â he muttered.
From outside, one of his little siblings shrieked triumphantly, followed by a loud thump. Mrs. Kim didnât even flinch. âYouâll take her around, introduce her to your friends, show her the areaââ
âMom.â
ââhelp her move in, make sure sheâs eatingââ
âMom.â
ââmaybe drive her to orientationââ
âMom!â
Finally, she looked up.
âWhat?â
âIâm not a babysitter,â he huffed. âI barely babysit them.â He pointed out the window where one of the kids was trying to climb the garden hose like it was a rope in gym class.
Mrs. Kim clicked her tongue as she went to chop some garlic. âSheâs not a baby. Sheâs eighteen.â
Leehanâs soul left his body. âEIGHTâMom, thatâs literally barely legal! I canât be seen hanging out with a kid! Iâm twenty! People will think Iâm recruiting!â
Mrs. Kim pursed her lips, squinting her eyes as she clutched the knife tighter in her hands. No words were spoken as she tapped the surface slowly.
Leehan froze.
Not because she looked angryâbut because that tap? That knife-tap? That was the âchoose your next words like your life depends on itâ tap.
He lifted his hands in surrender. âOkay. Alright. That came out wrong.â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
He gulped.
âWhat I meant,â he corrected quickly, âwas thatâuhâeighteen isâŠyoung. Very young. Like âstill doesnât know which side of the street has the bus stopâ young.â
His mother didnât blink. âContinue.â
âAnd!â he added, voice cracking like a man under interrogation, ââand I am not qualified for mentorship. Iâm barely feeding myself on time. I had cereal for dinner yesterday.â
âThatâs because you refused to eat the stew I made.â
âIt had mushrooms!â
Tap. Tap.
He winced.
Mrs. Kim sighed through her nose, the way women do when theyâve raised three children, a husband, and apparently now one extra stray. âShe is not a kid. She is a guest. A guest who will be living under my roof. Which means she will be treated like family.â
Leehan nodded rapidly. âRight. Family. Like a sibling.â
âYes,â she said.
âPerfect,â he said.
A beat.
âExcept,â she raised a brow, âyou will not treat her like you treat your siblings.â
He blinked. âWhy not?â
âBecause you terrorize them.â
âI donât.â He shakes his head.
âIâm not arguing with you, son.â
âFine.â He nods in relent. âSoâŠwhereâs she gonna sleep?â
âYour room.â
The words landed like a brick to the skull.
Leehan straightened slowly, arms going stiff at his sides. âMyâŠroom,â he repeated, making sure he hadnât misheard. âAs inâmy room, where I sleep. Where my stuff lives. Where Iâexist.â
âYes,â his mother said simply, drying her hands on a towel. âShe needs a space thatâs clean and quiet. And yours is the only one that makes sense.â
He stared at her, chest tight. âMom, my room is my only space. The only place in this entire house thatâs notââ he gestured around at the chaos, the abandoned toys, the scribbles on the fridge, the sticky handprints on the cupboardsâ âthat.â
âI know,â she said, and her voice wasnât sharp this time. It was steady. Unmoving. âWhich is why Iâm trusting you with this.â
He opened his mouth, then closed it. The weight behind her words was unmistakable.
âSheâs coming here alone,â Mrs. Kim continued softly. âNo family. No support system. No familiarity. Sheâs walking into a country she doesnât know, a language she barely uses, a school sheâs hardly seen. Sheâs still a child to her mother, no matter how old she is.â
Leehanâs breath stalled.
âShe needs safety,â she said. âAnd stability. She needs someone who wonât overwhelm her or talk down to her. At least give her sympathy.â
He pressed his lips together, throat tightening.
âAnd you,â she added, looking him in the eyes now, âare the one I trust the most to give her that. Not because youâre perfect. But because youâre my son and I raised you to take care of people always.â
Silence.
A thick, heavy silence.
He let out a slow breath. âOkay,â he said quietly. âIâll move my things.â
Mrs. Kim nodded, relievedâbut not triumphant. âThank you.â
He stared at the floor, at the laundry basket, at nothing in particular.
ââŠWhatâs she like?â he asked after a moment. Not annoyed. Not sarcastic. JustâŠtrying to understand the person stepping into his life.
His mom paused, thinking. âSmart,â she said. âKind. Quiet. More observant than she lets on. But she's a nice girl, you guys would like her.â
He nodded once.
Then again.
âAlright,â he murmured. âIâll be good to her.â
âI know you will.â
A beat passedâthe kind that settles into the air, makes everything feel more real.
âWhat time does her flight get in?â he asked.
âOne hour.â
His eyes widened. âMomââ
âGo,â she said, waving him off. âTake the car, Iâll move your stuff.â
He grabbed his keys, heart pounding as he jogged toward the door.Â
And as he makes his way out to the beat up driveway, he comes across you walking up his porch. He steps back, soft laughter as he puts his hands up in defense. âWoahâŠgonna bite my head off, Chihuahua?â
âShut up,â you cross your armsârolling your eyes as you resist a laugh. âI left my bag here yesterday. Iâve come to retrieve it.â
He nods affirmatively, brushing past you as he gently yanks a curl of yours on his way down the steps. âItâs in my closet.âÂ
You reached down to swat his arm. âWhere you going?â
He turns back, one foot already on the next step, breath still a little fast from the sprint out of the house. The sunlight catches on his face, softening everything heâs trying so hard to keep steady.
âAirport,â he says simply.
Your brows pull together. âNow?â
He huffsâshort, almost incredulousâas if he just realized the timing doesnât make any damn sense either. âYeah,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. âApparently Iâm a morning person now.â
You blink at him. âSince when?â
âSince today,â he says, dead serious.
Thereâs no joke behind it. No smirk. Heâs standing there looking wired, focused, too awake for someone who hasnât even had breakfast yet.
You tilt your head, studying him. Something in his voice is differentâquieter, heavier. âFamily?â
He hesitates. Just long enough for the truth to flash across his eyes. âYeah,â he says. âKind of.â
âCan I ride with you?â You shrug, âIâm bored and I have literally nothing else to do.â
He jerks his chin toward the driveway, already moving, steps quick and purposeful. You follow him down the porch, your shoulder brushing his for half a secondâa tiny contact, but he feels it. You can tell by the way his breath stutters before he masks it. Annoyance but patient in some way.
The car beeps unlocked.
He opens the passenger door for you without a word. You lean against the door before you sit, preparing to ask him something. But as you do, a voice calls out:
âOi! Where are you two off to?â
You both turn to see Shota coming from across the streetâbackpack in tow as he bounces over. His dyed, blond hair shining in the beaming sun. âYou two know I have attachment issues.â
You laugh softly as you brush your hair off your shoulder. âAsk your best friend, his mood is shot.â
Leehan sighed, âmy mood isnât anything, BunâI just have to go and youâre making me late.â
âLate for what?!â Another voice calls across the street.
It was weird, yet convenient how your guysâ houses were lined up. The best way to describe it would be akin to a square and its vertices. Right beside Leehan was your house. Directly parallel to you was Riki, then parallel to Leehan was Shota.
Riki jogs down his driveway, one hand raking through his hair, the other shoving his keys into his pocket like heâs already annoyed at the world and hasnât even reached the sidewalk yet.
He eyes the three of you gathered around Leehanâs half-opened car door. âWhatâs happening?â he asks, breath a little uneven like heâd been rushing.
Shota throws his hands up dramatically. âA betrayal is happening. They were about to leave me. Again.â
Leehanâs jaw flexes. âNo oneâs betraying anyone. I just have somewhere to be.â
Rikiâs gaze flicks to you, quick and sharp, then to Leehanâreading the tension instantly. âYou okay?â
âFine,â Leehan mutters.
You answer for him. âHeâs lying. Obviously. He opened the car door for me without calling me a dickhead. Iâm concerned.â
Shota gasps like youâve announced a national emergency. âOh thatâs new.â
Leehan drags a hand down his face. âCan you threeâjust this onceânot beââ
âEntertaining?â Shota offers.
âObservant?â Riki adds.
âInconveniencing?â you finish.
He looks heavenward, praying for strength. Then he jerks his thumb at the car. âJust get in. All of you.â
âYay!â You and Shota cheered simultaneously. Riki smiled softly as he opened the back passenger door for the older guy to get in.Â
Shota slid in the backseat, putting his backpack down by his feetâsettling into the seat as he fanned himself. âCan you turn the AC on? Itâs like a toaster oven in here.â
Leehan makes his way around the van. âThe carâs not even on yet, genius.â
Riki snorts, âmove over,â he tapped the top of the van as he waited for Shota to shimmy to the other side. But before he could even put his leg in, a deep, raspy voiceâdiagonal from the driveway called out for him. âRiki!â
 All four of your guysâ attention went in the direction of the sound. The birds chirped over the white noise of the block as somehow the sky clouded over. Reo.
You sighed, rolling your eyes as you turned your back again. Leaning against the car with your arms crossed.Â
Reo was already discussed previously. Not in any depth anyway because as much as he seemed to matter to Rikiâhe mattered to you as well.Â
As an enemy.
As an older brother, though, he was Rikiâs sole caregiver and provider amidst their parents not being around. While Reo had to juggle being fifteen and taking care of his ten year old brother, he ensured that Riki was in school, was fed, and had what he needed to essentially have a normal childhood just as anyone else.Â
However, as Riki grew and started to demand (not literally, but metaphorically) the presence of their mom and dadâReo didnât know how to handle it. Couldnât fathom or configure the idea of wearing so many different hats at once. Mom, dad, brother, nurse, personal wallet, cheerleader, chauffeur until Riki was sixteen, the list goes on.Â
Leehan, Shota, and you had always had the luxury of support by parental figuresâsomething Riki didnât haveâbut it was always afforded to him. Never did any of your parents turn him or Reo away for anything because they knew how hard their circumstances were. But no one dared to call social services because it meant that both boys would be lost in the abyss of the American foster care system and of course, everyone has heard such great things about what happens there.
If either of them needed food because Reoâs check didnât clearâthey got it. Christmas gifts. Clothes. Hot water. Anything in the world, those boys had it as long as you, Shota, and Leehan did.
But once Reo graduated high school (with a C average, just by the skin of his teeth)âhe knew to follow in the legacy that his father had left him withâR12. Leaving him to stay in Freeridge and get Riki through middle school, high school, and everything else.
And things seemed fine. Reo was going to work. Participating in the gang dealings that both boys seemed to be familiar with but the older they got, the more the cracks started to show.
Riki learned how to be multiple people at onceâa friend, support system, an advocate for all three of youâŠand Reoâs little brother, the kid everyone in R12 kept an eye on because Reo would set the whole block on fire if anything happened to him.
But it was a lot more complex than that. Reo ensured Riki wasnât touched, ensuring he didnât lose his respect. But something shifted once Riki turned fifteen.
He stopped caring about the sanctity of Rikiâs youth. Disregarded everything that mattered when it came to his brother.
Riki had dreams. Ones that seemed small to others but too big for Freeridge.Â
And it was simple: make it out.
Since he was a kid, Riki had wished upon a star, tossed a coin into a fountain, closed his eyes extra hard during every birthday wish, wrote a million times under his pillowâfor his entire lifeâthe same wish.
To leave.
Not to abandon, not to forgetâjust to escape the gravity of a place that had never loved him gently. Riki wanted sunlight without bars across it, air without someone elseâs name on it, choices that werenât choreographed by a gang legacy he never asked to inherit.
Reo saw that dream as an insult.
Because to him, leaving meant rejecting the only thing he had ever been good at. The only thing that kept a roof over their heads. The only thing that made him valuable in a world that chewed him up at fifteen and spit him out as a man.
So when Riki talked about getting outâgoing to college, traveling, anything that didnât involve the R12 signâReo didnât hear hope. Just betrayal.
And thatâs when the shift happened. No more rides to practice. No more checking if Riki ate. No more showing up to school events pretending he wasnât bone-tired.
Insteadâcold orders. Sharp warnings. A hardness that didnât belong in a home but lived there anyway.
Reo stopped seeing Riki as a kid. Stopped seeing him as a brother. Started seeing him as a liabilityâsomeone who wanted to run from the very life Reo had bled to keep intact for him.
Riki never said it out loud, not to you, not to anyone. But every time Reoâs voice cut through the street, every time those R12 men watched him too closely, every time his shoulders went rigidâ
You could tell. Because you knew these three like yourself. If you were an impulsive, neurotic, hotheaded chihuahua then Leehan was a pressured, ticking time bomb with oldest sibling syndrome. Shota was a mildly deluded individual that blocked out the negativity in the world by living by his rules. Like Riki was a hurricane contained in a bottleâsoft and mesmerizing one moment, destructive and untamable the next. He absorbed everything around himâthe chaos, the expectations, the dangerâand carried it with a grace that no one else could sustain. But inside, that wish to escape, to be free of Freeridge and the shadows of R12, was a constant pressure, a weight that bent him without breaking him.
And you could see it in the way he flinched when Reoâs name was mentioned, in the subtle tension in his shoulders when someone lingered too long on the block, in the way he smiled a little too hard, laughed a little too loud, just to convince himself he was still okay.
He was caught between worlds: the world he wanted, and the world that had claimed him before he even knew how to fight for himself. And youâwell, you understood that storm better than anyone.
The older brother in question jogged across the street. His gaze never left his little brother the whole time. When he finally made it to the driveway, Reoânow twenty-fiveâstood before you and everyone.Â
Him and Riki were exactly the same height. A nice six foot one. Reoâs presence hit like a wall, all angles and edges and deliberate weight. His hair, dark and cropped close on the sides, caught the sun in streaks of bronze where it had faded at the tips. His jaw was sharp, square, defined, with the faintest shadow of stubble that made him look older than his twenty-five years. Eyes like storm cloudsâa very dark brownâhovered between calculating and exhausted, the kind of eyes that had seen too much too young.Â
Broad shoulders, strong arms, and a chest that filled out his fitted shirt made him look like he could carry the weight of the street on his back. Even his stanceâfeet planted just so, fists loose but readyâspoke of someone who had fought to keep everything together, someone who moved with both authority and quiet warning. Every detail about himâthe set of his brow, the crease at the corner of his mouth, the way his gaze flicked to Riki firstâwas a reminder that he wasnât just an older brother. He was a force.
But he wasnât impolite.Â
He scanned the rest of you three with a masked smile. Bending down slightly, poking his head into the vanâhe caught Shotaâs view. âHi, Shota.â
The guy nodded silently, waving his hand as he put one of his wired earbuds in.
âDonghyun,â he nodded as he looked at Leehanâwho leaned against the car with his hands and opened his palm. Hardly smiling but just enough to acknowledge the elder.
Then finally, his eyes fell to you. More like your side profile as you refused to even look at him. The last time you laid eyes on him was the day you left for collegeâso nearly a year ago. You hadnât visited during breaks, money was too tight for you to come back and forth.
Watching him stand on the sidewalk beside his younger brother as the three of you all drove onto the next part of your lives was probably the most sadistic thing youâve seen out of him. The memory was like a picture in your mind. Him, resting a hand on Rikiâs shoulder as their eyes hadnât left you. Like he was reminding him of what he never wanted to come to fruition for Riki.Â
âBunnybooâŠâ he called out with a smile. âYou look beautiful. Iâve missed you.â
You stiffened at the voice, the familiar tone threading through the warm morning air, carrying all the weight of his presence. That smileâsomething in it was the same as before, teasing yet measured, like he had rehearsed it a thousand times to keep controlâbut there was an undercurrent there, an edge of something almost vulnerable, something carefully tucked beneath the force of his usual armor.
âHm.â You inhaled, arms tightening as you crossed them.
He probed on though, âyouâve grown. You still carry your Bratz dolls in your backpack?â
You scoff, smacking your teeth. âThat was like fifteen years ago.â
Reo chuckled, a low, controlled sound that somehow carried both amusement and a trace of disbelief. âThat long, huh? I feel like thatâs the kind of thing that sticks with you forever,â he said, eyes flicking briefly to the gold, nameplate necklace with your actual name on it. The one you wore every single day since you were a kid. There was a softness in that look, fleeting, but it was thereâan acknowledgment of the person you were then, the person youâd become.
You rolled your eyes, brushing a curl behind your ear. âYeah, well, some of us grow up,â you said, trying for a casual tone, though your voice carried just enough bite to hint that you werenât entirely relaxed.
He took your jab and let it roll down his back. His tongue poked his cheek as he turned to Riki. âWe got business.â
Rikiâs shoulders tensed, the familiar flicker of unease crossing his features. âBusiness? Now? At nine in the morning?â His voice carried a note of incredulity that didnât quite mask the edge of confusion.
Reo didnât look at him, didnât even blink. His gaze was fixed, sharp, deliberate, scanning the block like he already knew every corner, every potential obstacle. âNow,â he said again, voice low but iron-strong. âWe move fast, or itâs done before it even starts.â
You leaned back slightly against the car, arms still crossed, observing the quiet, absolute command in his posture. Every movement was deliberate, economicalâReo didnât waste energy on theatrics. Even the way he stood beside Riki, that protective shadow, made your stomach knot. The tension wasnât just between the brothersâit radiated outward, threading through the air around everyone else, a subtle, undeniable warning.
Riki exhaled, running a hand through his hair. âOkayâŠâ He turned to the three of you with a look of frustration. âIâll see yâall when you get back.â
You watched him hesitate for a moment, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, before he finally gave a small nod. âBe careful,â you muttered under your breath but loud enough for him to catch.
Reoâs eyes flicked toward you, the storm behind them softening just a fraction, like he recognized the weight of your gaze. No words, just a subtle tilt of his headâa silent acknowledgment. Then he turned, and with practiced precision, started walking down the street, Riki falling into step beside him like a shadow, smaller but unwilling to be left behind.
The van sat there idling, warm in the morning sun. You pressed your palms into each, trying to calm the sudden tightness in your chest. The air seemed heavier, charged, as if the space around them carried all the years of responsibility, anger, and unspoken plights between the brothers.
Shota leaned back against the seat, muttering, âDamn. ThatâsâŠintense.â
Leehan just shook his head, lips pressed together. âYeah. Thatâs Reo for you. Always been that way.â
You stayed quiet, watching the figures recede, knowing that once they disappeared around the corner, the street would feel smallerâand emptierâbut the echo of their presence would linger, a quiet warning you couldnât ignore.
â
The drive south to LAX was relaxing, you on the aux as some music played comfortably. As Leehan pushed the van down the freeway, you hummed along to the music as you watched the world pass you by.Â
But of course, silence was always short-lived as it pertained to your friends. âSo, I assume you and Riki are together again?â
You turned to him with a flabbergasted, yet offended expression. âIâm sorry?â
His eyes widened, tightening on the steering wheel. âI said, âI assume you and Riki are hanging out together again?â
âOhâŠâ
â...as in, you guys arenât fighting anymore?â He leaned back as he signaled to move to another lane.
âOhâŠyeah.â You nodded as your heart rate simmered a little. âYeah, we squashed it.â
âSo what happened?â He said absentmindedly as he turned the music down a little so he could hear you properly.Â
You gulp, keeping your eyes looking out of the window. âNothing. We just agreed toâŠchill, you know. No beef.â
âWho do you think youâre talking to?â Leehan laughed, âyou were at his throat less than a day ago and now things are just squashed? What actually happened between you guys? Is what he said true or not?â
This was the thing you hated about lying: the guilt of it. But the fact that you had to think of a lie, say it convincingly, then remember it was entirely too stressful.
Riki didnât even want to keep this up. He wanted to show you off, hold your hand walking down the street, kiss you whenever he felt like. Not in the dark or behind closed doors within the confines of your rooms or the cityâs outskirts. But of course, he was a simple manâand entirely too easy. Whatever it took to be with you, heâd do it.Â
But your fear of commitment and judgment superseded anything that either of you could want.
âNo, we didnât sleep together.â You said with finality. âHe just said that because some of the idiotic R12 members were talking about getting at me. So heââ You used air quotes, ââput a claim on meâ so that they wouldnât try anything.â
âSo why didnât he tell us that he did that?â
You somehow reached a flow state. âBecause he knows how you two run your fat mouths. Itâs just better if everyone thinks the same thing, I guess. That way he doesnât have to remember who knows what.â
Leehanâs brow arched so high it was nearly touching his hairline. âMhm. Right. Because heâs soooo organized like that.â
You shot him a glare sharp enough to slice bread. âCan you just drive?â
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, eyes still on you. âNah, because somethingâs not adding up. Riki said one thing. Shota and I heard another. You acted one way. And now this?â He motioned in a circle at your whole existence. âYouâre a terrible liar.â
âIâm an excellent liar,â you snapped.
âSo you admit that youâre lying?â
You groaned, sliding lower into your seat until you were practically melting into the upholstery. The anxiety sat in your chest like a cinder block. Keeping a secret relationship hidden from a man like Leehanâwho was basically a human lie detector fused with a nosy auntâfelt like trying to hide a fireworks show behind a napkin.
And the worst part? He wasnât wrong. Your lies were getting thinner, shakier, stitched together by panic. You felt the guilt creeping up your throatâwarm, prickly, accusing.
Leehan glanced at you. His voice softened just enough to unsettle you. âAre you scared of him?â
You blinked. âWhat? Who?â
âReo.â
You laughed, actually laughed at how off he was. âPlease, that dickhead has nothing to do with this.â You folded your hands over your stomach as you crossed your legs in an effort to warm them from the blasting air conditioner. âHe doesnât scare shit over here.â
âSo what are you hiding and why lie about it?â
âOh my god,â you groaned. âBitch you are so fucking nosey!â
Leehan grinned like a cat whoâd finally cornered a mouse. âYeah. And?â
âAnd mind your damn business!â
âIt is my business,â he argued, turning onto the main road like he wasnât detonating your blood pressure. âBecause every time you lie, Riki acts weird, and when Riki acts weird, I get dragged into some emotional bullshit I didnât ask for.â
You clutched your chest dramatically. âSo now Iâm inconveniencing you?â
âYes.â He didnât even hesitate. âMy chakras are weighed down.â
You stared at him. âYou donât even know what chakras are.â
âI know yours are clogged with secrets.â
You slapped his armânot hard, but enough to make him jerk the wheel a little. âLeehan!â
âHey! Assaulting the driver is crazy.â
âBeing the IRS of my personal life is crazy.â
He snorted, glancing over at you for half a second. âSo you admit thereâs something to tax?â
Your jaw dropped. âI didnât say that!â
âYou said it with your face.â
âShut up.â
He hummed, smug, fingers tapping the wheel like heâd solved a crime. âOne day, youâre gonna tell me.â
âOne day,â you shot back, âIâm gonna push you out of a moving vehicle.â
âGood,â he said, nodding. âMaybe the fall will knock the truth loose.â
âI wish death on you. A slow, agonizing death. But until then,â you sighed. âWhich terminal are we headed to?â You gestured ahead to the iconic big white letters that indicated your arrival.
âTerminal BâŠâ Leehan sighed as he leaned forward, inspecting the bustling airport and the pedestrians making their ways through.
You reached behind you to grab Shotaâs backpack, shuffling through it for his bag of sour gummy worms. The owner of said bag extended his hand for you to give him some, not even speaking because he had his own music playing.
You dropped a few gummy worms into Shotaâs waiting palm, then tore one in half with your teeth like a feral squirrel. âThank you for your service,â you mumbled around the candy.
Shota gave you a thumbs-up without looking up, completely zoned out to whatever playlist he lived on. You swore the guy could sleep through a tornado but wake up instantly if someone opened a bag of snacks within a five-mile radius.
Leehan eased the car into the arrival lane, glaring at the chaos like it personally offended him. âWhy are airports always like fever dreams?â he muttered. âEvery time I come here, I lose five years of my life.â
âWho are we scooping anyway?â You say through a mouthful of candy. âAn uncle or some shit?â
âNo, my cousinâwellâŠsheâs not blood butâŠâ He shrugs as he grabs a gummy from the bag.
You snorted, âI got you, thatâs just how people of color work, I guess. Everyoneâs a cousin.â
He nodded, âyeah, but this is my first time meeting her. Her mom and my mom went to high school together way back when. Then they moved and shit, now her daughter is going to uni here in the States. OrâŠwill be.â
You furrowed your brows inquisitively, âwhere are they from?â
âHonduras.â
Your brows lifted in surprise as a smile hit your face. âOh snap, look at Mrs. Kim knowing people. Mrs. Worldwide.â
Leehan snorted, shaking his head. âPlease donât gas her up like that. She already thinks sheâs Pitbull.â
You laughed, leaning back in your seat. âNo, because I know she be telling people sheâs multicultural just for the fun of it.â
âShe does,â he said flatly. âShe told her nail tech last week she âturns upâ when she listens to reggaetĂłn. Like who says that anymore?â
You slapped his arm. âShut UP.â
He groaned. âI was like, MomâŠyou donât even know who Bad Bunny is.â
Shota, still munching gummies with one earbud in, glanced up. âShe thought his name was Benny.â
You wheezed. âIsnât his name Benito? She was close.â
âNot the point.â Shota smiled, taking another gummy worm. âI just donât get howâŠâ
Shotaâs joke faded into the background, but you barely heard it. Something in your chest shiftedâtightenedâlike a knot being pulled slowly, deliberately, until it demanded to be acknowledged. Everything seemed like white noise.
You watched the crowds outside the car, people dragging luggage, hugging relatives, starting trips, ending them. Moving. Living. And it hit youâhardâthat Riki shouldâve been here. Shouldâve been laughing with you all. Complaining about the LA traffic. Stealing Shotaâs gummies and flicking his ear just because he could.
He shouldâve been in this moment.
But he wasnât. Because he was stuck.
Your fingers curled around the bag of candy, knuckles whitening. The thought rose before you could stop it, blooming sharp and aching in your chest. You didnât say anything at firstâjust let the idea sit there, heavy, terrifying, obvious.
You didnât even realize youâd spoken until you heard your own voice.
ââŠI want him out.â
Leehan looked over. âWho?â
âWait, I didnât even do anythingâŠâ Shota said with a frown.
You kept your eyes straight ahead. If you looked at either of them, youâd talk yourself out of it. âRiki. I want him out of R12.â
Shota sat up, the surprise on his face softening into something more careful. No jokes this time. No easy shrug.
The words kept coming, quiet but sure, like youâd been holding them back for years.
âI keep thinking,â you said, voice low, âabout all the things heâs missing. All the things heâll keep missing because Reo wonât let him go.â You shook your head slightly. âI canât stand the idea of him still being there while the rest of us get toâŠgrow. Move forward. Be young. Be stupid. Be normal.â
Leehanâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didnât interrupt. Neither did Shota.
âHe had the best grades out of all of us in school. Joined clubs, made friends, community service, everything. All down the drain because his selfish older brother couldnât see past Freeridge. But itâs time for me to be selfish, guys, because I want more. For him.â
You swallowed hard. âAnd I donât knowâŠmaybe itâs stupid, maybe itâs impossible, but I justââ you exhaled shakily. âI keep thinking there has to be a way to get him out. Really out. A way to give him a chance at the life he keeps pretending he doesnât want.â
Shota let out a slow breath through his nose, like he was trying to process ten different emotions at once. âYouâve been thinking about this for a while,â he murmured.
You didnât deny it. Couldnât.
Because once the thought crawled into your chest, it refused to leaveâthis stubborn, aching truth that wouldnât unclench its grip. Riki laughing on a couch that wasnât surrounded by lookouts. Riki sleeping without one eye open. Riki showing up to dumb little hangouts like this one, rolling his eyes, complaining about the snacks. Riki choosing things instead of surviving them.
You blinked hard. âI hate that Iâm starting to picture him as a memory while Iâm still alive.â
Shotaâs jaw flexed. Leehanâs stare stayed glued to the road, but his knuckles had gone white.
âHeâs not gone,â Leehan said quietly.
âNo,â you agreed, throat tight, âbut you know how that life is. You either end up in prison, dead, or both. And I donât even want to think about either.â
Shota shifted, like the words physically hit him. âDonât say that,â he muttered, but it wasn't a reprimandâit was fear.
You stared down at your hands. âTell me Iâm wrong.â
Neither of them did.
The signs passed, blocking the sun for a momentâcasting a shadow across the windshield, washing the car in gold every few seconds. Each flash made the ache in your chest feel sharper, more real, like the world itself was trying to illuminate a truth youâd been avoiding.
âI keep replaying stupid things,â you said softly. âLike him talking about wanting to visit a college campus. Or saying he wanted to see snow for the first time. Orââ your breath trembled, ââhow he used to say he wanted to get out of Freeridge before he turned twenty-one.â You swallowed again, blinking back the sting in your eyes. âHe says it like a joke now. Like something he already accepted heâll never have.â
Shota looked out his window, voice barely above a whisper. âHe stopped talking about the future altogether.â
That got you. A quiet, painful exhale left your lungs. âExactly,â you murmured. âItâs like heâs already grieving a life he hasnât even lived.â
Leehan finally spoke, low and certain. âThen we donât let that happen.â
You turned your head, heart thudding. He wasnât saying it like a fantasy. He was saying it like a plan.
âWe figure out a way,â he continued, eyes still on the road but voice steady, âto give him a real shot. A clean break. Something he canât walk away from, even if he tries.â