Woven in my soul

As if the being the overly anxious, panic attack every two minutes, slightly paranoid person that I am, wasn’t enough, toss in a baby and now I’m the biggest mess you’ve ever seen. 

It’s a constant battle of am I doing this thing right, should I “spare the rod and spoil the child”, am I neglecting him, should I spend my time with him instead of doing this online exam, etc etc etc. Its never ending really. 

And then it hit me... HE IS FINE. That’s it, could it be that this is actually how it is suppose to go, am I creating a situation when there really isn’t any. With the easy access to the vast amounts of information out there we are constantly seeking to ensure that we are doing everything right, but what about the times when there was no internet, no friendly google to zap the information right before us *cue the cringes* 

We have been raised to depend on these things, to doubt and flee from our instincts, we were literally created for this, programmed into our genes, something that should be so natural, we have tried to pin it down to a formula and the truth is.. there is none. Its messy, scary, euphoric, depressing,exciting and everything in between. Being a parent is literally one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever had. NOTE its only been a year and a half hahaha, so all you veteran parents go ahead and laugh at my naive self.