RONSTER THE MONSTER

If any one of my family members finds my diary, I want them to make copies of it for each and every family member that I’ve written about in that book.NO words can describe my emotions that I’ve put into it. It was no blood but I’m sure there was some sweat and tears in it.

My poor kid wants me to have an imagination but I don’t know how to do that anymore. I can honestly say that my aunt has taken that away from me. She’s shattered me and I’ve changed into something dark. I’ve become slightly obsessed with the Goth style and fascination with horror. She doesn’t get it and she never will. She wants me to live her way and I can’t. I live in a 1 bedroom with 2 kids. How does she expect my room to be so tidy? She has so much shit herself, she shouldn’t be talking about me.

I’m getting tired of everyone and everything. The same people are making me depressed more and more. My aunt. My kid’s grandmother. My kid’s dad because of of the grandmother. The deeper this depression goes, the more I feel done with myself and want to stop fighting. My boyfriends immaturity adds to it. I’m not saying I’m more mature but he can’t even drive. But when he’s stuck in a commute situation, I HAVE to get the baby ready and load her into the car. It’s all time consuming and it drains the life out of me.

I don’t see how this dude is so eager to get rid of this van but he don’t even use his car. He should get rid of his car too

Living in a home where you aren’t acknowledged or appreciated for what you do is the worst. I really am the stepchild. I know for a fact, they don’t treat their own kids this way. I can’t wait to leave.

Honestly, I think I was dealing with PPD and no one has noticed it! I feel like either no one cares or I’m just good at hiding it. All they do is just take my money here.