Internet Addiction

Introduction

In Nafissa-Thompson’s Whisper to a Scream, a huge part of community and belonging plays a role in the story. I felt that this part was very relatable to me, and I felt a deep connection with the protagonist. Raina, the main character, would rather spend time inside rather than talking to her family members in her house, and yet she wanted the people close to her to talk and spend time with her. I think that a lot of people that use the internet as a form of escapism can also relate to this, as they would rather spend time with people online rather than in person. I hope that this blog can be used to become self-aware of the problems that come with this and use it to stop internet addiction. There is a bit of hypocrisy when it comes to these things, as these sorts of people would rather get short-term enjoyment rather than long-term and sustain relationships with others. Raina, the main character, has many personal issues in her life, and the only way she feels is that she can express herself online. She barely talks to anyone in her real life, and some part of that stems from the fact that she’s addicted to her online life where she has more friends. For Raina, it looks a lot easier, and probably is easier, to stay in her room and spend time with her online boyfriend, than to get harassed by a group of boys in person. This blog post will go over this story, how its themes and characters compelled me to focus on this topic, and how it goes over the issues that an internet persona could bring to someone’s very real life.

The community: Main Idea #1

One big role the Raina has is her online status. She has a big following online because of her ASMR videos, which play a role in her community. “The comments poured in steadily,” this is the very first sentence of the chapter, and it takes place right after she posted a video, which is proof that Raina has an occult following. Some of these comments are very hurtful and straight up assault, such as sexual comments or plain racism. The nicer comments are what keeps Raina posting videos, as she believes that these videos help people fall asleep. There’s also a hint of narcissism, but she may be addicted to compliments online as she might not get this attention in her personal life. There are two different categories when it comes to content creators and their communities; a niche community that works closer together and is way more personal, and a big community that works more like an algorithm or market. Raina’s community falls into the first category, with her school bullies watching her videos, and personal comments and private messages being sent to her in her inbox on how helpful her videos are to others. This sense of belonging can only exist to Raina and therefore feels as if it was made for Raina. She doesn’t experience this sort of need anywhere else in her life, or in this chapter at least, and can appreciate even the bad comments that she gets as this is the only sort of love that she can accept in her life. When this happens to someone in real life, it can either lead to a bigger community where the person profits off of, or the person moves on with their life. Being a content creator is harder than you might initially think. At first you might think that all they do is sit in their room and record a video all day, but it takes a really heavy mental toll on someone. Thats why you see so many content creators taking breaks and being stressed out on deadlines like its an office job. We see this happening to Raina at the end of the chapter too. Every comment affects someone no matter how small or big they are, and with how they’re living already, looking at streamers specifically, they’re mental state is bound to deteriorate. Although there is some good that comes out of these careers, such as Raina and her very small appreciative community that reach out to her to thank her for her relaxing videos, the cons outweigh everything else.

Raina’s Personal Life: Main Idea #2

This leads to my next point, and has to do with Raina’s mom, Raina’s isolation with her relationships. Raina and her mom are extremely isolated from each other, so much so that Raina calls her by her first name even though that’s Raina’s blood mother. Raina feels so disconnected from life, so much so that she doesn’t even acknowledge her mother anymore, and this works as a form of isolation. Every comment that her mother makes is a comment that tries to “fix” Raina, such as weight loss or doing homework. There’s no helpful or encouraging words that Carmen has ever said in the chapter, and to top it all off, her mother doesn’t see this as an issue. Raina’s father is also out of her life, and her school bullies physically and sexually assault her at school, so she’s terrified of even attending school. They even call her racist slurs because she’s black on her videos and harass her in the comments. “It was only when he tried to feel her up on a class trip”, “Crying, she ran off; he told his friends—and subsequently the entire class—that Raina was a slut who had flashed him her boobs.” (Spires 126). These are all valid reasons to close yourself off, and the main reason why she seeks validation online through her ASMR videos. She even feels disconnected from her friends too, so she almost has no one to talk to except her online boyfriend; ironically, she doesn’t even know his appearance. Despite all of this, she still chooses him over her own family and friends. She would rather accept the community that she has created because at least they say nice things to her sometimes, at least they say encouraging and respectful words to her sometimes, because sometimes is better than never at all.

Internet Addiction: Main Idea #3

Once you’re hooked on the internet, it’s hard to stop. This addiction can be just as bad as any other addiction, especially because it looks less harmful than other addictions. There are many different reasons that addictions online start; having a close relationship with people, watching a ton of videos, getting invested in rabbit holes, making content and being creative. Raina is a victim of this, especially because of her ASMR videos. Although her videos do genuine good for some people, most of her audience only watches it from a negative view. As long as a viewer has some sort of positive thing to say to her, albeit more bad than good, she will keep the comment up as it would let her channel grow. One example of this is that she allows some sexual comments on her videos as long as they’re supportive, and that mindset is harmful to her. “Earthworm366: Dude, you seriously just gave me a brain orgasm.” (Spires 124), “She appreciated the positive feedback, but sometimes Raina felt, briefly, that everyone wanted or saw only a piece of her, not a whole,” (Spires 125). Raina is aware of this fact, and yet, she continues. She almost posts a video about how she feels about everything, her parents, her bullies, and the fact that people see her as an object online, but she doesn’t. She goes back to her normal life and continues making ASMR videos online. She would rather hide in her little online world, escaping from the reality that she lives in. She’s scared of facing reality, of coming back to a sad life where no one appreciates her for who she is. She’s scared talking to people she doesn’t know and telling them how she feels, if that would harm her, and if it does work, would she ever go back to living happily online? If she does succeed after letting everything out, she would feel obliged to stay for her viewers that she makes videos for, to do more good for them since they accepted her, or maybe they’re secretly judging her for having a mental breakdown online. Instead of facing reality, she would rather hide and stay as just another ASMR content creator.

Conclusion

 All of these add up to an unhealthy lifestyle, an escapism online that will only hurt you more. Bad parenting, no friends to talk to, and an unhealthy addiction online will cause you to start thinking negatively about life. Nothing makes it easier, so you choose an easier option instead. You end up pushing away the people that matter to you the most, and the people that rely on you. If this does apply to you, take a break and walk outside, drink some water, and take a break from everything. Talk to people that need you, and then you can rely on others if you need it back. Start accepting that some things in life are supposed to be the way that they are and turn off your phone.