how much efforts do you need to put before you realise this can't be saved anymore? I let my brain do the math when it hits me like a punch in the gut – I never planned on giving up. The plan was always to give it everything I had. with all my heart. so how did I end up here?
I've grown up around anxiety but now it has built a home in my heart. I keep checking my phone – twice, thrice, multiple times. all in a span of five minutes. my texts stand on delivered. I never double text. I've never been a call person. What an irony! I've sent you over a dozen texts in the last hour. What a hypocrite. your name is flooding all over my call log. I throw questions at the reflection in the mirror – when did you let your guard down? so much it was too late by the time you realized you were standing with no armour, defenceless, crumbling into the repercussions of your own foolish choices. when did you let yourself go? so much that no matter how hard you try you don't know when was the last time you had yourself together.
how much efforts do you need to put before you realise this can't be saved anymore? I've lost my dignity, but I can't lose myself. I never planned on giving up, but I never planned on losing myself either.
