[ zhuliu yi - cheng ],   a [ twenty - seven ] year old grisha in the little palace.   he is a [ heartrender ] and are known in the little palace as the [ maverick ].   they are known to be [ resourceful ] and [ spiteful ] and vaguely resemble [ xiao zhan ].

NEWAYS  hello hello ! the name is vega, i’m a whole twenty seven tired creature from the european lands and i’m here to bring my boy zhuliu ! he’s a muse whose inspiration dabs real deep into the mxtx novels, specifically characters like wei wuxian ( duh ! ), hua cheng, bai wuxiong, and luo binghe & i hope those little tidbits to them one might caught in my muse can be considered an homage to those novels i’ve grown to love ! also, a lot of his past is willingly kept vague because yes, we love an international man of mystery, and i really would love for his actual backstory to come out the more people would interact with him !

i am always open for plotting and chatting either here or on discord, so feel free to hit me up ! ♥

mischa couldn’t help but burst into laughter at his friend’s words, grateful to even call zhuliu such. mischa looked at the heartrender as family, though saints knew he had enough family running around the little palace. between moonshik, lucrezia, miroslava, semy, viktor….. he was constantly trying to avoid their antics. it was tiring keeping his true identity a secret.

“what’s wrong with smudgy charcoal?” he asked lightly, his attention fully on zhuliu. “though i’d have to agree, it would be poor decision making on their part,” he sighed, trying to avoid running a stressed hand through his hair because it took him way too long to style it. mischa raised a brow, pursing his lips a bit. “so you’re into choking, is what i’m hearing?”

.

BUT HE WOULD LET FINGERS TRAIL ON ABDOMEN OF HIS, his own grip on other’s wrist so delicate yet firm when slowly bringing it to caress intricacies of silk belt’s decors. provoking perhaps, or perhaps even soothing --that was for mischa to decide, of course ; no one would ever want to get too close to who’s essentially a 'criminal’ jaywalking among those who’re supposed to bring him to a justice that never felt like justice at all, regardless of his own innocence being screamed out and loud by many choked out voices. “ it only looks good when it’s on someone’s eye makeup, let’s be real. ” his own a vibrant chuckle partly eaten away by music and chatter echoing redundantly all around them, somehow glad that mischa could listen for they were ever so dangerously close to each other --line of pretty red eyes still hidden away by sheer redrose veiling daring to roll up to part of other’s visage that was visible to him. “ oh please, does the fact my love for having partners who can be a little bit rougher in bed makes me automatically into choking ? is that what you think of me, mischa ? you hurt my tiny little heart like this ~ ”

closed starter for @zhuliun​

Panicked. Zuhan was panicked. There were too many unfamiliar people. He’d never been good in a crowd, never had to be. He was being thrown head first into an unfamiliar situation, in clothes that weren’t even his. The masks didn’t help anything either. Too similar to the past for his liking.

His eyes frantically scanned the crowd, hoping for the single familiar face he knew would hopefully be there. He’d know Zhuliu over every lifetime, blindfolded, without fail. He just had to find Zhuliu and everything would be fine.

What a sense of déjà vu that was.

Finally. He spotted Zhuliu in the crowd and made his way over, trying to keep his panic to a minimum. At least outwardly.

“This is overwhelming,” he commented upon reaching the other.

.

IF HE WASN’T SURE OF ANYTHING REMOTELY SETTING ITSELF ON FIRE OR EXPLODING BY THE TIME THAT WHOLE MESS OF A FETE WOULD’VE SUBSIDED, seeing zuhan and how those hands seemed to almost tremble in grasping at his own upper arm immediately made all things somehow exponentially more able to happen ; laws of the universe were never known to be kind after all, especially to poor heartrender himself. 

and right now, he didn’t need yet another place set ablaze to be seared within his memories.

“ i can make you feel a little less spinny. ” just as fingers traced initial design before finding their way in trailing over knuckles so white with how vicious their grip on him were, feeling strings for him to knowingly pull --where to reach, how to seep deeper and deeper and yield that frantic heart made of fire to his will. “ it’s bad, i know. but i’m here, see ? why don’t you lean more ? it’ll help making you feel better. ”

yuliya wanted nothing more than to get rid of his worries, somehow. it reminded her of when artyom, her baby brother, used to have nightmares — it was the same pain inside her heart, and the same protectiveness, wanting to protect him with all she had. however, this time, it wasn’t something conjured by the mind of a child after hearing war stories. it was something very real, the thing inside the laboratories. and what she could do to comfort him ? yuliya couldn’t give zhuliu the certainty that more things like that one wouldn’t attack again, she couldn’t speak for the author of it. the feeling was excruciating, to say the least.

“ a khegurd ? is it from shu han ? ” the words left her mouth without a second though, curiosity on her voice. was a shu general behind the attack ? it didn’t make sense. of course, ravka and shu han had their disagreements over grisha matters, but the war was more active on the fjerdan borders as far as yuliya knew. she had never been near the shu ones — yuliya’s station had always been on kribirsk or novo kribirsk, or near the fjerdan borders. but tales of how shu han treated their grishas had reached her ears when she was nothing but a child, in a way for her father to intimidate her to go to sleep when he told her to do so. but it was when yuliya pondered on zhuliu’s words that she noticed everything her father told her was nothing compared to reality. used someone that wasn’t a grisha ? there was someone inside that thing, and yuliya poked their flesh the entire time ? 

it was nauseous to think that. 

she nodded at his words, quickly standing up and pouring him a glass. yuliya was grateful she always kept a bottle inside her room — mainly because she woke up at night to drink, but also to offer to others if necessary. yuliya offered him the glass, an apologetic smile on her face. “ i wish i had more to give to you. maybe i can sneak in the kitchens and steal some biscuits, if you want. ” it was what she could give to him, at least. not the comfort she wanted to, but what she could give. yuliya wanted zhuliu to know that it was alright for him to share whatever he wanted with her — yuliya would never judge or pity him, if that was what he could be wondering. “ you don’t need to explain anything, dear zhuliu. only if you want, and if you’re ready to do so. ”

.

WATER FELT LIKE A BLESSING AND LIKE TORTURE, burning and soothing at the same time that poor throat of his that so strained and dry it felt because of how much he had to keep himself from screaming and begging and weeping, resulting instead to a miserable whimper --how cruel could shadows of a past never gone would haunt and loom and remind with jagged teeth sneer that seconds would tick for him as well once more ‘fore it’ll all explode and make him wish like in times of old that never life was to be breathed into his own fleshy husk.

it made him quiver, horror at its purest, something scientists and alchemists would try to perhaps harness for purest understanding of the humane psyche --cruelty within cruelty making his breath falter and calm on edge to dissipate away in a wisp of fog. “ n - no need, no. water is fine. ” he’d mutter, trying indeed to find some courage somewhere, some confidence --it had to be somewhere, it had to-- so that even now he could push through, for there was nothing more he could do.

except running away once more, of course. ( but did he want to ? he was tired. )

“ i ... i was found at the border years ago, remember ? i was fifteen, maybe sixteen. my memories are all a haze because i was so tired, after walking and running for so long. i was ... pretty hopeless, if one would’ve ever given just a glance to me. ” yet there he was, still ready to run more and more until of his own feet wouldn’t remain but bone --unsure if he really was ready to face those demons that weren’t ancient at all, no. those all carried for a cry to a progress that only felt more like a madman’s futile lament. “ see, i think you’re kind of aware of the ... things shu han does to grisha. most are, but they only can tell you generic things about it. ” 

a small pause, fingers clenching aghast glass --oh by the saints, he’d rather fight a dragon than relive any of those gut - wrenching years in his mind, but dear yuliya needed to know at last ; with one of those abominations right under their feet, there was no way he could avoid anything anymore. “ i don’t remember when, but when i was a child i was brought to a facility, one of the many tattering shu han. i think i was an early bloomer or something of the sorts, because i really don’t remember anything besides those walls, and the days being always the same --wake up, endurance training, experiments, food, more experiments, more endurance, then back to the cellars for the night. if we were lucky, there was a rinse from the dirt and the filth once a week. and the nights were even worse. sometimes the people there would come and pick someone, and everything would get filled with screams ... until it either quieted it down, or it became something far from human. ”

mischa couldn’t help the never ending smile on his face when he was around zhuliu– an old friend, one they usually kept under wraps due to the relationship between zhuliu and the general, as well as mischa being one of his spies. but tonight they could be anyone they wanted, and mischa definitely planned on doing just that.

“boring!” mischa exclaimed, looking at his friend in shock. “you could cut through the tension with a knife at this point, everyone’s waiting for something bad to happen. i don’t blame them, though, considering the last event’s disaster.” he shrugged, grabbing a drink from a waiter passing by. “i would find it impressive, if i were a general.”

.

PERHAPS HE CONSIDERED MISCHA ONE OF ALEKSANDER’S MOST DECENT SPIES, and he wasn’t saying that just because of whatever himself and the spy had got going on, for sure --with mischa reasoning was much more easy than with the rest of the secretive crew, which was something to him extremely useful as well as relatively soothing ; as if that could fuel any hope for his case to be solved with his own innocence confirmed.

“ ah, yes, that. ” for a moment dread coursed through prettily dressed heartrender’s spine --all sent away immediately with heavy shrug of his head and an eyeroll. “ i’d be more surprised if whoever released that thing last time actually would use the same trick again. it’s actually poor decisional skills on war, and probably the design of someone who uses smudgy charcoal to draw their strategy. ” it would’ve been too easy, it would’ve been too idiotic to repeat the crime in the same exact situation when most likely the enemy knew every single guard was ready to jump at first oddity manifesting. “ and aleks would try to choke me, and not the weirdly arousing way. ”

CLOSED STARTER, @zhuliun​ *ZHULIU* where: masquerade ball

mischa didn’t know how he had managed to surround himself with corporalnik as being some of the most important figures in his life. he just had a bad habit of befriending grisha that could crush his airways with a flick of their wrists, which was a little bit scary considering he didn’t really know how to alter his humor to be less macabre.

mischa made a point in his mind to stay at the ball for longer than ten minutes, partly because of daciana, but also because he worked entirely too hard on putting together the outfit he was wearing and he looked fucking phenomenal. as he confidently strode through the ball, his eyes landed on the back of a certain someone’s head, and beelined straight for them.

as sneakily as he could manage, mischa snuck behind zhuliu and rested his chin on his shoulder with a smirk on his lips. he could probably hear his heartbeat which made his attempts at sneaking up on him futile, but he continued nonetheless. resorting to his classic flirty nature, “why are you standing here by yourself when you look like that? people deserve to see you.” 

GLITZ AND GLAMOUR AND OBSTENTATION RULING A DANCE OR TWO AT EVERY SECOND, his own mild disdain concealed in veiled reds and a goblet of wine still a little bit cold within his grip, a few stolen sips following approaching rhythm that belonged to no carved or tensed instrument --a chuckle to follow ; wasn’t it a little bit refreshing to see any trying to sneak on him, as if trained ear of heartrender wouldn’t capture their essence in memoir ? “ aish, if that ain’t my dear mischa. could recognize that heart pattern anywhere. ” and indeed mischa was, voice as unmistakable as pitter patter of beating organ, a free hand of his trailing back to give shaven cheek a light tap.

yuliya watched zhuliu with concern. she never saw him looking so broken, not when she first him. but she knew that look — it was the same of the soldiers yuliya used to tend when she was active on the second army. the face of seeing something that caused great pain for you. but it was normally soldiers who saw druskelles or volcras that had such look adorning their appearance, especially after more than one encounter. yuliya always tried to give them some comfort, as it was her place to do so as a healer, but this time was different. the soldiers were only soldier, men and women that yuliya crossed paths only once. she didn’t have any emotional connection with them. 

but zhuliu was different. he wasn’t just a soldier, someone that yuliya would see once. she cared for him like if they shared a womb, almost as if they were created from the same flesh. and her heart bled with sadness to see him on such state. zhuliu had already suffered enough to be going through that, and probably, again, if yuliya his reaction right. 

“ shh, it’s okay, it’s okay zhuliu— even if this thing was here for you, it’s dead now, it can’t do any harm any more. ” she tried to comfort him, but knew that words weren’t what he needed. it was the same thing when her parents died — everyone said how sorry they were for the orphans of nikolai and ekaterina, but no one did a thing for them. she and brother stayed near the empty coffins alone, and not a single soul thought they needed a helping hand, or even just a squeeze on the shoulder. on moments like these, yuliya knew actions were better than words, because they demonstrated how much the person cared, instead of empty promises. “ come, let’s leave. ”

yuliya took zhuliu arm again, guiding him to the exit of the room and into the directions of her own chambers, far away from that thing and the memories it triggered on him. he needed a quiet place to compose himself and, when he was ready, tell yuliya what exactly was what attacked them. she was already thinking the worse — maybe it was a war threat from shu han ? or just someone that had acess to their technologies and thought it would be okay to play with them ?

when they arrived at yuliya’s doors, she shoved him as gently as she could inside, organizing her belongings — mainly clothes — on the bed to make room for him. yuliya was more used to it than she would like. “ zhuliu. ” she called him, concern dripping from her voice. “ come, have a seat. i don’t have much to offer now, but if you want anything else, let me know. ” yuliya didn’t want to press him to talk about that thing, but she needed to know. if that was something that could put the little palace’s safety at stake, she would need to contact the general and the darkling and let them know. “ what was that ? ” she whispered calmly, reaching out to hold one of his hands. 

.

EVEN WHEN OUT OF WRETCHED LABORATORY DOORS, he felt like having countless flares reflected on blinding jade plates aimed right against his face --disoriented in his step and frightened in how grasp ‘round sisterly figure’s arm would cling in hopes all of it would dissipate in uncomfortable midsummer’s dream ; but it wouldn’t leave, of course, it’d make things way too simple and too boring for world whose main drive was to play and torture in utter misery those cosmic playthings plaguing its landmasses --churning at pit of stomach with paranoia even when so sure he was that monstrous mass from never forgotten past would never rise again to grasp at frail neck of his and reconduct him back to grishasteel chains.

it was meant to stay, that dread, that wobble hindering any instinctive need to run oh so far away, far enough for himself to scream and cry and collapse and perhaps indulge in delusional denial a little bit more ‘fore reality would come crashing down like terrible sip of terribly brewed kvas at cold light of mornings.

it wasn’t going to be that simple. no matter how much he’d wish upon old stars and saints.

“ that’s a khergud. but its base feels ... different. probably used someone who’s not a grisha. it would also explain why it doesn’t look as huge as the other ones i’ve seen. ” this one looked much smaller compared to winged beasts of flesh and alloy he’s seen so many times in his ever so ironically elongating life, there was no energy that would betray a grisha presence even underneath layers of jurda whose overpowering scent still lingered alongside the putrid taste of rot and burned metal, sending zhuliu’s stomach deep into sick hells --still all imprinted in mind and core of shu heartrender as if it was barely minutes that he’d left cursed facility turning into debris underneath vengeance’s fires, lips pursing shut and nostrils flaring in a deep inhale. 

uncertainty was there, a ghastly hand weighing on his shoulder alongside so many doubts, so many fears of how dear found sister could take an amount of information as grotesque as those contained in ex - soldier’s past. perhaps it was just signal for pool zhuliu to stop running away from an inevitable now too close for comfort --perhaps that was final signal that more of it all needed to be spoken out. “ can i ... can i have some water, i promise ... i promise i’ll explain more, shijie. ”

it’s not like he’s got much choice about it.

@zhuliun​

considering they’d just survived an attack with injured and dead left and right, he’d set a goal for himself not to mess with anyone tonight, the dance somewhat a reprieve from the dark reality they’d found themselves in. no one was invulnerable and nowhere was safe. just as dmitri was starting to enjoy himself without it, his eyes landed on the most idiotic mask he’d ever seen. a choice he couldn’t help but comment on, wearing that thing they were simply asking for it. stepping up to the man he cleared his throat, letting the opinion slip. ‘’you do know it’s a masquerade ball right? it requires a mask. I mean wearing something akin to underwear on your head is a choice, just not a particularly good one.’’ not able to help the laugh that escaped him. another joining them had dmitri worried for a moment they’d come to tell him off, turning to them to beat them to it, only to find it was zhuliu that’d decided to join. ‘’ah, zhuliu. what do you think?’’

HIS HEAD ALL OVER THE PLACE, eyes wandering in a world filtered with red veiling but still ever so vibrant and opulent and screaming of nobility’s need to reassure themselves of their sickening power and control over the lot of decaying ravka, scherming themselves from the true horrors knocking at their doors and whose source wasn’t even the outsider painted oh so many times as enemy to point of it being nausea - inducing --oh so unaware of that very snake nestling in their wombs and readying itself for the grand feast. 

or probably they were aware indeed and preferred to pretend nothing had happened --zhuliu almost wishing he could have such privilege, to be able to simply wipe away memory of past’s monster manifesting right underneath that marbled floor everyone was dancing in ; but he knew he couldn’t. he knew such a blessing for one like him would never exist, for saints never would be as truly merciful as described in childlike tales and would rather jeer and sneer at underdogs’ misery.

ft. @zhuliun​

she was worried about zhuliu. yuliya couldn’t help it — she was always concerned with her friends — and since his reaction at the thing which attacked the little palace on the fête, she wanted to make sure he was alright. having him sleeping on her room was a good way to keep an eye on him, and the invitation to the masquerade was received with small giggles and hopeful thoughts. as much as yuliya didn’t think it was a good idea or a good time to celebrated, they all needed a small break. she insisted for zhuliu to get ready with her — she wasn’t feeling so sure about her dress, and wanted to make sure that zhuliu was going to the ball. 

yuliya exited her dressing room with careful steps, not used to use heels so much. boots were more her thing, since they were the only thing that could be used with the keftas, but sometimes a change was good. she stood in the front of a full-length mirror, examining her reflection. yuliya couldn’t deny she looked good in red — her kefta was also red, but that was different. the fit of the dress was different, and her collarbone was exposed, adorned by the only necklace she had that belonged to her mother. “ so, ” she started, doing a small spin when she heard zhuliu walking around the room. “ how do i look ? ”

PACING WAS COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH UNEASINESS, his own reasons plenty and very much valid on how he shouldn’t be there but also would love to, his own a little bit of an escapade mixing itself with essence of escapism, an illusion to linger into perhaps a little bit more than normally advised which one would think justified after events of nights before that still roused shu from his light slumber in cold sweat and old tongue mutterings --even if it was known that dear yuliya would rather prepare herself to fight rather than enclose him into small room like he almost hoped ; dear sister was just that stubborn, and perhaps that was what still made her ever so endearing.

“ by now it should be know that shijie will be the prettiest grisha at the party. ” fondness in his words impossible to deny or concea, just like softness on pale lips of his still acking that touch of lacquer that would complete his own look --a taste on legends ravka would never whisper to their chidren at night, for they’d be seen as too gruesome, too close for comfort ; but crimson bride of old would be brought forth with such a celebration, even if just one night alone, as only chance for poor zhuliu that will hide underneath pretty silken veils to somehow taste once more that sweetness of freedom from all and any.

she’d done more things than just hold hands with sacha, but it wasn’t something yuliya could admit to zhuliu — not because she was embarrassed to say out loud, far from that. but zhuliu was a younger brother figure to her, and such things weren’t supposed to reach younger brother’s ears. “ you need to tell them to me someday. i need to use everything at my hands to tease him. ” they had been like that since they were children, and the only time they weren’t, yuliya, without noticing, missed both his company and their incessant bickering. “ i’ll for sure keep you updated, little duckling. the progress is slow, but someday i’ll reach my goals if the saints allow me. ” did she actually knew what her goals were ? sacha’s presence made her thoughts dizzy, and yuliya couldn’t think about anything other than him when there were together. “ i need it almost every day, but i won’t burden you. ”

“ you flatter me. ” her smile was kind, and had a hint of embarrassment on it. yuliya was aware she was kinder than almost all of her peers — while the harshness of the war and their way of life hardened them, it only made her acknowledge the suffering of others and her own privileges. how could yuliya not be kind ? especially with the ones like zhuliu, who needed it the most. “ of course you deserve, zhuliu. and you know why ? because i said so, and that’s what matters. ” she tried to light the mood a little, but yuliya’s words were true. she was one of the last braginskys alive, and even though her offspring wouldn’t hold the family name, she’d always be part of the family. “ i can’t say anything for him, but if our uncle didn’t brainwashed him into a heartless monster like him, i’m sure he will. ” earl batischev was someone that yuliya couldn’t forgive or be kind with. 

“ aleksander’s shitty antics ? ” she asked, quite curious. yuliya wasn’t or wanted to be close with kirigan’s right-hand man, for obvious reasons. “ he is, but he’s also accumulating more power. it makes me wonder if he doesn’t have anything to do with it. ” the last part was whispered, almost inaudible. 

zhuliu’s reaction was nothing of what yuliya expected. her eyes travelled from the grisha to the thing, a mix of concern and curiosity — how zhuliu could recognize such thing ? was the thing from shu han ? was that a war threat, somehow ? “ zhuliu. ” she called him, trying to get his attention out of it. yuliya couldn’t risk him falling into the despair he was showing. “ what exactly is this thing ? how do you know it ? ” her voice was firm, but gentle. it was the same voice she used to use with soldiers taken away from the sheer shock of their injuries or the horrible things they witnessed. 

.

HOW COULD FEAR HEED ITS REVERBED SCREECH EVEN LOUDER WHEN COMING FROM CORE OF A CREATURE OF HEART, its stormlike agitation sparked aflame by sight ever so scornful of element of past so meant to be left behind and forgotten in attempt at rebuilding excuse of a life in shatters back together --how could his legs give out when he was mustering so much power from within to keep them up and keel him from fully collapsing into deep dark tethering at the edge of heartrender’s sight and mind, swallowing and holding onto nearby doorframe as if letting go would only doom him further.

and everywhere, just seamlessly seamed along here and there as eyes of crimson jumped ‘round in search of stability, reality and memoirs would mix and match and he believed for a second to be back into wicked facility with their needles and chemicals, explosions and screeches --a place worse than death in battle, a place where death would never listen to prayers for such an endless torture to finally reach its end instead of being prolonged more and more, agonizingly.

and the khergud was still there. no matter how many times he blinked and heaved in his breath, no matter how many times poor zhuliu tried to mentally tell himself that it all had to be some sort of wicked dream caused by either bad batch of alcohol or a dangerous spider’s sting ; an unmoving carcass he could analyze and dissect from its mechanical implements and the stench of jurda parem mixing with ruthenium and rotten flesh, one he was going to become himself if it wasn’t for ...

“ i - i, they, they sent it to find me ... it can’t be otherwise, i ... it doesn’t make sense, they shouldn’t be able to move this far, they, t - they shouldn’t be here to begin with ... ” even if he couldn’t fathom for ways of shu han to know where their runaways and renegades from broken facilities had ran away in their despairing instinct to clutch at life just as strongly as a child’s hand would clutch at their most favourite toy. it still was too much of a distance for a khergud to fly from any of the facilities to beyond the mountains separating the lands of jade from ravka, and yet that thing was there. it had to mean something, and the more he spent seconds in thought on such, the more panic would swell and rise like most obnoxious curse. “ we, we need to leave, we need to leave --i - i  promise i  ... will tell but please, we need to leave-- ”

( so far away from that thing, so far away from anything that would drag him back in a dark cell. )

“Do I?” The phrase was quiet, purposely calm in the face of his panic. For one Zhuan  was the calm one, almost as if they’d switched roles. Hilarious, really. And it was enough to keep him from rolling his eyes at the next phrase.

“It did.” A snap, and Zhuan had the fire, again, in the palm of his hand. Although, it didn’t really help, because he could have been an inferni tailored, according to Zhuliu. He let a sigh slip, the first sign of actual frustration seeping in. Quickly, he had to think of something that would prove it. –Ah. Got it.

“Our cells were next to each other. It was as close as we’d gotten to eating with people again.” His tone was flat, as he allowed the information to slip. A reminder of who he really was. “This isn’t a trick. I made sure to allow two people to survive. Myself. And the only person to show me even an ounce of kindness in that place.”

.

AND WAS THAT ENOUGH OF AN EVIDENCE, his own brain asked ? was that enough to prove to both doubtful mind and panicking heart how everything was indeed as tangible and real as those very surroundings that sometimes felt more like illusion just as much easy to swat away as his own seemingly humane core ? was it enough ? 

somehow it was, oh if it was ! that figure now within black note’s arms and ever so familiar sizzle of fire burning right underneath his wrinkling nose acting as reminiscence of hands secretly held whilst sharing a meager meal --small little things that tied their soul to ancient red string, apparently working just as tales of old would always advice if inferni had truly managed to find him after so long, too long. “ ... a - zhuan, it’s ... it’s really you, a - zhuan. ” his own grip onto the other tightening as if that truly would calm his own overbeating heart, last chance for any trick to be unveiled and every dream to burst away and awake ; but nothing happened, and zhuan was still there. “ i thought you were gone. i saw the fire, and the place falling into pieces, and the screams ... i barely know how i made it out alive. ”

“ i am sorry for doubting, i ... i was scared it really was someone trying to fuck me over --someone from shu han, someone here who found out what happened somehow. i’ve seen a lot, there was a khergud that attacked the palace here and ... i let it go all over my head, i guess. ”

yuliya nodded slowly, if not embarrassed. to acknowledge she was making progress, even if little, with sacha was to acknowledge that he could be open his walls to her — something she had desired since they were children, but things were different now. they weren’t young any more, and their dynamic shifted in a way yuliya never expected to. perhaps be friends again was what she expected, but not what they were having. “ mister firecracker ? ” she asked amused, a smirk on her face. “ it suits him, though. mind if i borrow it, dear zhuliu ? ” she doubted that sacha would like it or let it go without teasing her, but the prospect of having another mock nickname for him was too good to let it pass. “ thank you, dear. i hope someday i can say to you that i did a lot of progress. ”

the curiosity to know what zhuliu endured on shu han was too much sometimes, but she knew it wasn’t on her place to ask that. yuliya could assume it weren’t a good experience, as the tales of how shu han treated their grisha used to scared her as a child. if someday zhuliu would be prepared to talk about that, yuliya hoped he knew that he could tell her without fear. apparently, everyone on the little palace had harsh upbringings, some more than others. it was almost a requirement to be a grisha, and yuliya sometimes felt guilty — her childhood was a brilliant one, filled with love and too many memories. it had been something she learned when she arrived at the little palace; she had been lucky to have such loving parents, even if they were taken away from her too soon.

“ oh, zhuliu. ” she squeezed his arm on a comforting way and, if they weren’t in the middle of a corridor, some tears would be shared. however, yuliya was happy to know that, at least, she brought some comfort to his life even if she couldn’t do much. while she couldn’t advocate for him publicly without the risk of being punished, she would do anything he asked ( or not ) of her. “ do not think of the consequences. i have somewhere else to stay, it’s no problem. when you do appear, expect a warm bed and some cookies for you. ” it was the minimum she could offer. “ you know you’re almost an honorary brangisky, don’t you ? i wish you could meet my brother, at least. ”

that part of the little palace was almost becoming her second home. yuliya spent more time there than inside her own chambers, and it was sickening. “ yes. ” she confirmed, a solemn expression on her face. “ they modified it not some time ago, and they took advantage of what was new to create a kind of laboratory for the study the volcra thing. the corpse is there, but some other things we can do at the infirmary, like blood tests. ” yuliya explained quietly, making sure no other corporalki was leaving or entered the place. “ stay here for a while, i’ll make sure no one will disturb us. ” deinterlacing their arms, the healer took careful steps inside the room, making sure every other corporalki were at their breaks. the hours spent there were lonely. putting only her head out, yuliya gestured for zhuliu to follow her. “ come, dear zhuliu. meet our new roommate. ”

.

“ WELL SURE ! take all the nicknames you need, i have plenty when it comes to sacha and his infinite ego --even holding hands is a lot of progress when it comes to him so keep me updated ! let me know when you’ll need five extra seats for his confidence. ” for sacha indeed was a handful to deal with and he somehow found himself genuinely surprised in dear sisterly corporalnik to be as patient and loving as ever with one like him when he could tell without even batting an eye that anyone else in her place would’ve easily ditched any further attempt at hope out of sheer tiredness or annoyance --somehow tender to witness as well as amusing, somehow still giving himself some form of hope that even for someone like him, there could be a sliver of something awaiting beyond seemingly endless fugues and hidings and survivals barely kept afloat in held breaths and screaming hearts willed to nighdeath calm.

perhaps something could be there, oh so small but for himself to collect, as if to let him know humane nature still could belong to blood - drenched hands of his. perhaps he was getting too soft, too hopeful --if caution wasn’t observed, he’d end up burning oh too close to a scorching sun unmeant to be reached.

“ ah, shijie, you’re too kind. ” she was, she so was, zhuliu envied such a gift that was ever so rarer than any summoner of light and shadow --for kindness so true and pure would never be presenting itself so blatantly and shamelessly ; like a wildflower had to manifest whenever it’d feel, born by the flow of billowing springwinds, just like that it’d appear so softly within world’s brutish confines. “ but i don’t think i deserve to be called a honorary anything, nor i think your brother would like someone like me. ”

but alas. “ i see. sounds like kirigan is getting even more paranoid that expected with this attack ... now i’d rather deal with aleksander’s shitty antics instead. ”

yet at such sight he’d regret those words as immediately as he’d normally cower away within shadows when dangers would be all too close to comfort, almost threading indeed the possibility itself of his own figure shoved against darkest one to be cut into endless pieces ready to feed ravkan soil with its blood rather than witnessing past always bubbling at his back just hitting with such a sudden virulence that took away heartrender’s breath when hands of his were ones to deprive any of their need of air --shaking, as if sudden wintry gales had stormed by squaller’s whim and flooded him whole until he’d just remain standing there in abysmal terror all over face usually ever so mischievously smiling, crimson gaze in pins whilst facing creature of a past he’d wish it’d be long forgotten when instead it’d feast and fester within realms of nightmare.

“ that ... that shouldn’t be there. ” it shouldn’t be, for they were abominations of shu han that never should’ve been able to fly this much into ravka, for they’d usually screech and fall apart unable to withstand the pain and the agony, crawling and dragging along their heavy wings that would line the silence with metal on concrete’s hellish whistle. “ no ... no no no no, that ... that shouldn’t be there, how did it ... did they make more ?! ”

[ ... ] so the bride has thought, while sitting with their handmaiden, and their pretty smile shining under the light of the moon. “ ah, if they really insist in being the true love given by the soldiers and saints, then i shall see if they can tell who i am within a sea of red and green, with my features behind a holy veil and my winds rustling everybody’s feathers ! if they can, then i shall marry them. ”