Choosen by the Crystal

‘  all i want in my life is for my friends to be able to touch me suddenly  &  me to not flinch away without meaning to.  when will this stop affecting me?  ’ ‘  all i want is to be soft  &  gentle,  but i’m made out of steel  &  anger.  maybe in another life,  i guess.  ’ ‘  beauty is in the eye of the beholder,  so choose to see beauty in everything.  ’ ‘  burning it all to the ground  &  force them to start again.  they made you lose everything.  now return the favor.  ’ ‘  do i ever even cross your mind or do i do all the thinking of us on my own?  ’ ‘  do you trust me enough?  do you trust me at all?  ’ ‘  don’t you dare abandon me.  ’ ‘  even after all you have done,  i will always want you fighting on my side.  ’ ‘  every time i see you smile i fall in love with your brightness all over again.  ’ ‘  everyone i have ever loved is long gone.  i sing to the sky alone.  ’ ‘  everyone i touch gets hurt,  but i can’t stop.  i touch  &  i touch  &  i touch  &  people get hurt.  why can’t i ever stop?  ’ ‘  everyone says i used to be a hero,  but i can still taste the blood in my mouth  &  still feel bruises blooming because of my fists  &  my eyes are still stretched wide  &  terrified.  ’ ‘  everything i love has been taken from me.  what do i have left to fight for?  ’ ‘  fall in love with someone that makes you feel strong.  ’ ‘  friends are more important than any material object will ever be.  ’ ‘  i am aching to hold you  &  keep you safe,  to be pressed against you so that nothing can harm you.  ’ ‘  i am divine  &  you will bow before me.  ’ ‘  i am fucking divine.  ’ ‘  i am in control  &  i listen to no one.  ’ ‘  i am not a good person.  don’t pretend i am.  ’ ‘  i am not accustomed to love.  this is a learning experience.  ’ ‘  i am not worth saving  &  i am not worth redemption.  let me stay in the dark.  ’ ‘  i am so tired all the time,  all i want to do is rest.  ’ ‘  i am too tired to deal with any of this.  ’ ‘  i bow to no man.  ’ ‘  i broke into sharp pieces when i broke  &  i expect someone else to hurt their hands on my edges just to put me back together.  i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  i can give you your wings back  &  i can show you to fly once more,  if you only believe in me.  ’ ‘  i cannot be saved.  ’ ‘  i can’t ask for help because if i ask for help it hurts people.  i can bear this weight on my own.  i have to.  ’ ‘  i could taste the lies in your mouth every time i kissed you,  but i loved you too much to notice.  ’ ‘  i crave affection in the simplest way.  ’ ‘  i deserve to hurt.  i deserve to bleed.  ’ ‘  i didn’t ask for any of this so don’t you dare blame this on me.  ’ ‘  i don’t care if you say my name like it’s poison or like it’s a prayer,  as long as it leaves your lips.  ’ ‘  i don’t fight for you anymore.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to let go of you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to talk about it.  i don’t want to remember.  i don’t want to heal.  all i want is for it to go away.  ’ ‘  i don’t want you to touch me.  please don’t touch me,  just go away.  ’ ‘  i feel anger deeper than my bones.  i feel anger in my very soul.  ’ ‘  i feel nothing at all,  except for when i feel everything all at once.  ’ ‘  i have fallen  &  though i may miss the sky,  i belong here now.  ’ ‘  i have fallen from a height your mind cannot even imagine.  ’ ‘  i have no home anymore.  ’ ‘  i remember collapsing in the flames with a sword in my hand  &  then i remember nothing.  ’ ‘  i see beauty in everything,  but especially in you.  ’ ‘  i should never have fallen in love with you.  ’ ‘  i thought for a long time that i was so terrible no one would look at me.  now i know it’s because i shine so bright they are forced to look away.  ’ ‘  i was so caught up in the feeling that i forgot how to breathe.  ’ ‘  i will never amount to anything.  i am a failure in the worst type of way.  ’ ‘  i will tell myself that the burn of my loneliness in my chest completes me  &  maybe someday it will be true.  ’ ‘  if that’s what a hero is i’m glad i’m not one anymore.  ’ ‘  if you ask me to,  i will set the whole world on fire,  my dear.  it’s all for you.  ’ ‘  is it my fault?  it’s my fault.  it’s always my fault.  ’ ‘  it’s not murder if they deserved it,  right?  ’ ‘  i’m drowning in emotions that don’t belong to me,  choking on anger  &  suffocating on sadness.  ’ ‘  i’m in love with everything that hurts me.  ’ ‘  i’m okay.  i’m alright.  this is all in my mind.  ’ ‘  i’m ready to give up everything i’ve ever had if it means someone will love me.  ’ ‘  i’m so cold  &  i can’t stop shaking.  i am not who you think i am.  ’ ‘  i’m so tired all the time  &  i just want to be awake again.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting against the pain of being forgotten.  i just want someone to remember me.  ’ ‘  i’m tired of fighting everything in my life.  just make it stop.  ’ ‘  i’m too tired to care.  blow up,  get angry at me.  i’m sure someday i’ll realize i deserved it.  ’ ‘  jealousy burns within me.  ’ ‘  just let me go in peace for once in my damn life.  ’ ‘  loneliness is a disease  &  it leaves me empty  &  hollow,  like sound goes through my body  &  bounces back.  ’ ‘  made of starlight  &  sunshine,  i shine brighter than they all know.  ’ ‘  my anger is righteous  &  my actions are pure.  ’ ‘  my chest aches  &  my lungs burn.  this sickness comes from the inside.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  all i need is some comfort  &  understanding.  ’ ‘  my chest hurts  &  i ache to go back to the sky.  ’ ‘  my shoulders are aching where wings used to be  &  all i want is for them to stop hurting.  ’ ‘  pull me apart  &  piece me together in your own way.  make me perfect.  ’ ‘  righteous fury throws through my veins  &  if you touch the people i love i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  rise up.  you can’t keep being small when you were made for so much more.  ’ ‘  say my name like it’s the only one that’s ever been on your tongue.  ’ ‘  so much blood has been spilled in my name.  time to make you believe it was in yours.  ’ ‘  so you’ll worry about me when i fall silent,  but not when i scream  &  plead for help?  fuck off.  ’ ‘  sometimes people have to get hurt for me to get what i want.  ’ ‘  stay away from my fucking friends.  stay the fuck away or so help me i will destroy you.  ’ ‘  stop treating me like i’m an idiot.  you aren’t better than me in any way  &  you better remember that.  ’ ‘  the bitter taste of regret is ever present on my tongue.  ’ ‘  the world is spinning far too fast for me to stay on it.  ’ ‘  to love them is my divine right.  ’ ‘  voices whisper from the shadows  &  they fill my mind with thoughts of you.  ’ ‘  what did i to wrong to be so unloved?  ’ ‘  what is the point of power if i’m not supposed to use it?  ’ ‘  who the fuck do you think you are?  ’ ‘  why can’t i ever fucking stop crying?  ’ ‘  with a new year comes new tests  &  triumphs.  let’s try to make the most out of it.  ’ ‘  would it really kill you to be honest for once?  ’ ‘  yes,  i remember my wings breaking  &  being destroyed.  i was powerless to stop it.  ’ ‘  you are not required to love your parents,  or to even like them.  ’ ‘  you can’t hate me more than i hate myself,  but you are more than welcome to try.  ’ ‘  you may say you love me,  but you love only a part of me.  i am too complex for you to ever love my entire being.  ’ ‘  you never fucking cared about me.  don’t fucking lie about it.  not to me.  ’ ‘  you remind me of mint.  fresh,  sharp,  kind of cold,  but in a nice way.  i always knew there was a reason mint was my favorite.  ’ ‘  you shine light in even the darkest parts of me.  you are my sun.  ’ ‘  you should fear me,  but you don’t.  i will be eternally puzzled,  yet grateful.  ’ ‘  you touch me  &  my skin burns  &  it burns for you,  always you.  ’

“I trust you as far as I can throw you which is nothing.”

Adam gave him a look and moved to the projector. It was surpisng how quickly he set up the projector with the phone. He knew what he was doing. He picked up the keyboard and hit a button as the footage from the battle appeared. “There.”

“I trust you as far as I can throw you which is nothing.”

“I don’t have this camera in my hand for nothing. Gzee you’re an idiot.”

“I trust you as far as I can throw you which is nothing.”

“Not going to happen. Second you don’t know what you’re doing.” He said as he picked up his camera.

❝ Can I just nap instead? ❞

❛ i know i can sometimes be a lot, i just love you so much and want only the best for you. ❜ ❛ its okay to not be perfect, its okay to not always be your best, its okay to make mistakes. you are not a failure. ❜ ❛ i always thought I hated my name until i heard you say it. ❜ ❛ youre my everything and im sorry im so annoying to you but this is the only way i know how to love. you still put up with me and i love talking to you. ❜ ❛ i don’t understand you and it’s okay, we are big messes and that’s beautiful in it’s own way. ❜ ❛ i love every freckle of that face, every vein in your skin, every everything. ❜ ❛ no matter what, i want you to succeed and be happy, even if it’s without me. ❜ ❛ i haven’t seen you in a while, i hope you’re okay. ❜ ❛ last night I dreamt I was with you and it hurts to wake up and know that you’re far from me. ❜ ❛ i love you unconditionally. i’ve got you. ❜ ❛ whenever i was afraid i found myself running to your arms, and heaven claimed me there. ❜ ❛ it’s been months since i’ve last seen you, but i’m still up all night listening to love songs hoping one day we’ll meet again. ❜ ❛ all i want is someone, almost anyone, cuddled up with me. ❜ ❛ i know i do a ton of time consuming things, and even though i do i’d drop everything just to talk with you. you are so much more important than a tv show or book to me. i have to show how much i love you a lot more than I do today. ❜ ❛ i love you so much but this just won’t work anymore but hopefully we’ll be able to be together again when we’re better people ❜ ❛ seeing your face always makes my day! ❜ ❛ i wish you all the luck in the world. ❜ ❛ maybe life isn’t about counting all the mistakes you made. maybe it’s about increasing the number of important things in it instead. ❜ ❛ i lost you and i regret that i didn’t realize what i had until you were gone. i’m sorry. ❜ ❛ i love you with my whole heart. ❜ ❛ staying up till 4 am to talk to you is worth every minute. ❜ ❛ i know we just met you but i feel like we have a future, please tell me you feel the same. ❜ ❛ breathe in. breathe out. breathe in to the walls of your lungs, till your blood hums and sings again. look up for the stars. smile, my dear. ❜ ❛ whatever happens, know i’ll always be by your side. ❜ ❛ you’re a ray of sunshine. ❜ ❛ when i see your face my heart beats out of my fucking chest but damn that’s the way i want to feel for the rest of my life. ❜ ❛ all i want is for you to be happy and i don’t care if it’s with me. ❜ ❛ i hope i make you as happy as you make me. ❜ ❛ you are truly something special, even if you can’t see it yourself. ❜ ❛ you are the chaos that hurts me but i also need to keep me alive. ❜ ❛ you are the moon to my earth and i the earth to your moon. ❜ ❛ i wish you could see how wonderful your mind is. ❜ ❛ i am so happy to have shared my heart with you. ❜ ❛ home is where the heart is and i can’t wait to come home to you. ❜ ❛ ever since i met you i am somehow able to hold out hope that things will finally get better. ❜ ❛ i’m always tired, but never of you. ❜ ❛ it’s so satisfying to be able to say ‘yes, we’re dating.’ ❜ ❛ whatever i did to deserve you wasn’t enough. ❜ ❛ you have strength in you, just give it time. ❜ ❛ you make my cheeks blush pale pink and my heart beat a little fast. ❜ ❛ the stars would be so proud to know their atoms created someone like you. ❜ ❛ don’t be afraid to be your own advocate. don’t ask for what you need, demand it. ❜ ❛ you are the honey in my tea, everything bitter you make sweet. ❜ ❛ thinking about how much i love you always makes my worries go away. ❜ ❛ i just want to feel our fingers entwined, your lips on mine. ❜ ❛ you’ve got a whole lotta love in you, i know it. ❜ ❛ i am so happy to have shared my heart with you. ❜ ❛ you hurt me, but you didn’t break my heart. allow me to forget you. ❜ ❛ now that we’ve met, you will never walk this world alone. ❜ ❛ kissing you feels like how it feels after you get in the car after it’s been off for awhile and it’s warm out so the inside of the car feels perfect. ❜ ❛ i’m so happy to have shared my heart with you. ❜ ❛ just the thought of you fills me with affection. ❜ ❛ you’re still here, and i love you for that. ❜ ❛ when i’m with you, i don’t see anyone else. i want to be with you all the time. i want to talk to you everyday. you make me feel alive and happy. ❜ ❛ i want to be the person you think to text when you’re drunk out of your mind. ❜ ❛ being your best friend couldn’t make me happier, but now that we’re in love, words can’t express. ❜ ❛ i just want to get really drunk with you and do some stupid shit, is that too much to ask? ❜ ❛ you’re alive. you’re breathing. isn’t that lovely? ❜ ❛ you are my whole heart and soul. i love you endlessly. ❜ ❛ your laugh follows me everywhere. ❜ ❛ there may be other fish in the sea, but you were my whole fucking ocean. ❜ ❛ incase no one has told you today, i’m so proud of you. i know how hard you’re trying. ❜ ❛ i’m so glad i didn’t die before i met you. ❜ ❛ like the sun and moon, i only shine because of you. ❜ ❛ you mean more to me than anything, you are my everything. ❜ ❛ your eyes, my dear, are like the ocean. beautiful, powerful, and swallowing me whole. ❜ ❛ i’m not going to be able to suvive a week without talking to you, your love keeps me going. ❜ ❛ give me forever for awhile. ❜ ❛ i’m blushing sleepily over you with my mind a million miles away. ❜ ❛ i still love you more than anything. ❜ ❛ kiss my forehead and tell me you love me. ❜ ❛ you’ve got eyes that will always change my mind. ❜ ❛ i love you more than hot chocolate on a rainy day. ❜ ❛ you’ve got eyes that will always change my mind. ❜ ❛ all i want to do in life is hug you forever. ❜ ❛ if i have only a limited amount of love i can give, i’m willing to waste all of it on you. ❜ ❛ incase no one has told you today, i’m so proud of you. i know how hard you’re trying. ❜ ❛ that night, in the dark of your car, staring into your eyes, that was the safest i’ve ever felt. ❜ ❛ thank god for girls. ❜ ❛ take a break babe, everything will be okay. ❜ ❛ you are the cool breeze on a peaceful summer’s night. the crickets chirp as lightning bugs surround us in a haze. all is good. ❜ ❛ i’m so in love with you that it’s overwhelming and i tend to cry over it a lot. ❜ ❛ stay safe because i like being alive at the same time as you. ❜ ❛ you’re a dreamer, dear. become a doer. ❜ ❛ you make me stupid happy. i can’t help but smile when i think of you. ❜ ❛ you are but a star in the sky. not just any normal star. you are the brightest star that stands out from the rest on a clear night and one would look up and say, ‘that’s my star.’ ❜ ❛ sometimes it’s easier to forget than to forgive. and sometimes it’s better that way anyway. ❜ ❛ things are gonna work out okay. just give it time. ❜ ❛ snuggle close and count stars with me. ❜ ❛ the stars were so beautiful. your chest was so warm. the asphalt was hard but i didn’t feel it. your fingers entwined in mine made my head spin. if only you felt the same. ❜ ❛ hug all of your friends and let them know you’re not letting go. ❜ ❛ the stars in your eyes formed a lump in my throat ❜ ❛ i think i’m a little bit in love with you ❜ ❛ can we just, fix each other? ❜ ❛ you make me want to be better. ❜ ❛ take a break, babe. it’s all gonna be okay. ❜ ❛ you’re so cute, i love that face of yours. ❜ ❛ look at you!! what a cutie!! ❜ ❛ you’re going places. just wait. ❜ ❛ having you in my arms and seeing you smile up at me is the warmest thing. ❜ ❛ you’re my home, and i’m homesick. ❜ ❛ i would walk three hundred miles just to hold your hand. ❜ ❛ we’re all suckers for something, no matter what. ❜ ❛ everything about you makes my head spin. ❜ ❛ you are capable of so much more than you ever thought. ❜ ❛ i don’t know what you see when you look into my eyes, but i see an entire galaxy when i look into yours ❜ ❛ it’s not that i don’t love you, it’s that i do. ❜ ❛ i don’t know about you, but i really like you and i hope you like me too maybe. ❜ ❛ you don’t have to be pretty like her, you can be pretty like you. ❜ ❛ these bad days will one day just be a memory. ❜ ❛ take me to the moon. ❜ ❛ from dusk till dawn, you are the one. ❜ ❛ you’re the song i play on repeat. ❜ ❛ oh god, was it lovely getting to know you. ❜ ❛ you are enough. don’t apologize for taking up space. ❜ ❛ your rosy cheeks make my knees week. ❜ ❛ the moment you walked into my life i knew you’d change it forever. ❜ ❛ i blush at the sight of your smile. ❜ ❛ i love the way you smile. ❜ ❛ when you look at me, i finally feel like i’m worth something. ❜ ❛ no matter what happens, i’m proud of you for trying. ❜ ❛ shut up and kiss me. ❜ ❛ concept: we make it out of this town and never look back. we don’t make the same mistakes our parents made. we are happy. ❜ ❛ shut up and kiss me. ❜ ❛ screw the world. all i need is you. ❜ ❛ you may not be perfect, but you’re perfect to me. ❜ ❛ here i am with a stranger in my bed and nothing but you on my mind ❜ ❛ i want you to know that i love you so much that it’s not even realistic, but it’s real. ❜ ❛ i regret a lot of things, but i will never regret you. ❜ ❛ i’m sorry they didn’t appreciate you. there’s someone out there who will one day, i promise. ❜ ❛ i would move mountains for you. ❜ ❛ the moon is pretty and so are you. ❜ ❛ there is stardust in your bones. ❜ ❛ i know you’ll be the death of me, but oh god, what a way to go. ❜ ❛ i want to travel the world and see sights that are almost as pretty as you. ❜ ❛ every time i look at you butterflies invade my stomach. you are perfect and i love you. ❜ ❛ love, every time you hold me i remember why i want to stay alive. ❜ ❛ i fall in love with you all over again every time you look into my eyes. ❜ ❛ now that i know how sleeping beside you feels, i don’t ever want to sleep alone again. ❜ ❛ take your time, life isn’t always about who finished first. ❜ ❛ what a privilege it was to matter to you. ❜ ❛ you’re allowed to be sad a lot. it doesn’t make you less of a human being. ❜ ❛ i’ll always be here to catch you when you slip. ❜ ❛ you are more than just your downfalls. ❜ ❛ you make me want to be kinder. ❜ ❛ one day you will be sleeping next to the one you love. ❜ ❛ i know you’re going to do big things. ❜ ❛ one day the sun will rise and you’ll be glad it did. ❜ ❛ you really are something special, aren’t you? ❜ ❛ you’re going to be okay. give yourself time to heal. ❜ ❛ i chose you and i’m never changing my mind. ❜ ❛ come sleep on my couch and ramble on about the universe. ❜ ❛ the sun will always rise and dogs will always be happy to see you. ❜ ❛ when i’m with you, i feel important again. ❜ ❛ i sleep so well with your arms around me. ❜ ❛ you are not just a person. you are a spirit born out of love, and you are so, so beautiful. ❜ ❛ take me to your favorite spot and kiss me to your favorite song. ❜ ❛ ever since we met, i’ve never found another soul that makes me feel the way you do. ❜ ❛ i fell in love with you like the moon fell in love with the sun. ❜ ❛ you have no idea how beautiful you are to me. ❜ ❛ i hope you find somebody that treats you like a somebody. ❜ ❛ snuggle with me and hold my hand until i sleep. ❜ ❛ you’re worth all the love in the world. ❜ ❛ talking to you makes me feel safe. i hope i can make you feel the same way. ❜ ❛ it’s okay to not know what you want, it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to not know things or have everything all planned out. it’s all okay. ❜ ❛ stay out way too late with me and kiss me under the moonlight. ❜ ❛ you’re allowed to love yourself!!! ❜ ❛ i still have faith in you. i’m still here and nothing could ever change that. ❜ ❛ go. let yourself rest. the weight of the world does not live on your shoulders. ❜ ❛ look after yourself, please. i still need you. ❜