Zaidia Medlem

You know as I walk the streets of Divinity's Reach, I realize many people don't sit and read enough, they are busy scurry about their lives missing so much on parchment.  I made my way to Issa's bookstore and decided to spend the afternoon with her reading a poetry book she has given me.  My Issa knows what I enjoy to read.

My dear Issa asked me if I hold any grudge against those wretched beasts known as the Charr.  I did not know how to answer her, I suppose I wanted to drop the subject but I think she was being brave and wanted to know my thoughts...

Well I did tell her and she sorta gave me that look like she knew the answer.  So what do I think of the Charr....  Animals really... nasty wretched animals.  They have no have no respect for the natural order of things.  I've seen their war machines in these short years I've reawakened... I've seen what their magics did to Ascalon all those years ago.. 

Though I come to an understanding why we put up with them, their are dangerous in the world that all of us must together and face, but what happens afterwards... Some believe the Charr will push for more lands, this is possible considering the resources they take from the Ascalonian lands.  It is possible that none us will be around to see what really happens...

Issa asked me would I return to Ascalon and reclaim my homeland...I told her I do not know.  In truth I do now know, I will say that if after all this craziness with the dragons if the Charr dare push forward.....

I took Issa to the Graveyard and had a lovely moonlight picnic, it was two days since I saw her, I wanted to have some alone time and not to be bothered by anyone.  We enjoyed the picnic, I watched her eat and she cuddled with me, we read poetry to each other and a novel we been working on...

At the end of it we made love.. when it was all done I looked down at her she caress my chin down my chest her eyes told me all I wanted to hear, we didn't need to share words anymore to see what love was there, but I know she loves me, a monster... I've committed things I cannot speak about.  Yet when she looks at me I feel that I've done nothing wrong to deserve this...

In the morning I took her home gave her a kiss and she fell asleep again, I wore my Issa out and she was sleeping with a smile.  I decided to go to the tailor and get Issa a new dress, I relived her of the other one the night before.

On my way back to the estate I over looked the area and something hit me, I dropped the package and started...crying.  I haven't cried since I was a child...I don't know what came over me. 

It was such a nice evening I had to get out for a local stroll in the Shaemoor Graveyard.  Sometimes I like to come out here and be among the sorry corpses in the ground being chewed at by bugs and other creepy things.  I know I should very well be among them getting a bone cleaning by some maggot, but I decided on another path.  

I do find it strikingly ironic that I use to be a Necromancer that would experiment and kill people needed to increase my own power, though I have become much more then a mere mortal, I find sometimes it is good to remind myself what still could be for me, no one escapes death forever.

I suppose I am satisfied with how things are going for me now.  Who I was in the past doesn't seem to appetizing,  I am not particular sure why, perhaps my host body has some influence or perhaps I've grown up either way I will not stop now.  

However I worry for my dear Issa, she wishes to be youthful forever and walk the same path as I do.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, I mean having Issa around till the end would be grand adventure, but I am not sure if she understands fully what she is asking.  I'm torn for love and a new found respect for the life cycle.

I have to admit this bonding that I have done with my dear Countess isn't exactly what I had plan on.  Though we both benefit from this arrangement, however I do not know the long term effects of this bonding.  I should look into this a bit more...

I always find myself observing the mortals in the city, scampering around doing their petty business.  It's like watching mice run when you turns the shine the lights on in a dark damp room.  It amuses me, though I have to admit it is a different world then what I'm use to seeing.  I see Norn, Charr and those walking plants.  Not to mention the little Asura people.  

I have no real issues with the Norn or Asura.  I can understand their stance. Their share similarities to humans being run off their homeland.  The Charr, they all need to decapitated and burned at the stake.  I can't barely stand the few Charr that work at the estate, but they know their place when it comes to me.

I look at the plant folk and I have much to say on them....

Whoever puts their eyes to this journal will wonder what they are reading and who put such words into this book.  To put it short I'm your night, your shadow, your nightmare.... I'm the they tell you to fear, the one they tell you that doesn't exist at the sametime.

I was once like you frail, weak...mortal.  You live day in and day out getting closer to death, you have no concept of what death is like and yet you fear it.  I don't have that fear..I'm something more.  I've beat death, but that is because I've done things that you would not. 

I am someone you may not want to cross paths with, I will kill you and not think about it the next day.  You would freeze in my presence, tremble in fear and pee your pants.  You can continue to read if you are brave enough.