Lumos

Yep… My butt.

How...fascinating...

Someone sent flowers to my office today.

...your...butt?

If you want to keep going with this conversation I’ll tell you my name, I’m Mark. By the way what’s wrong with talking about peeing and toilets? I’m a surgeon and I talk about much worse things every day. Not to mention the things I see and touch.

Because that's so...it's...not appropriate. I mean, we've just met and we're going to be talking about peeing and toilets...that's...that's just not right. Well I imagine that's with your colleagues or your spouse or something, and that's okay but...some things are best left unsaid. Besides, I don't want to come off as someone who talks about peeing and toilets...and i'm Yvonne.

Great but you look as if you’ve just came to this world. People pee on the streets every day and kids see it, even kids pee on the streets. People steal, prostitution happens and people get sick every day. Welcome to this world.

I'm well aware, that doesn't mean that it's socially acceptable. If it were, we wouldn't have bathrooms, now would we? And--...I can't believe I'm talking about peeing and toilets with a completely stranger. My God...

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, but I’m pretty sure I’m looking for something. My head’s so into work, I guess my body isn’t functioning properly. Sorry for that, I get a little coocoo when I have too much work.

Oh...okay. Well...it's okay. As long as nobody's peeing. What is it that you do?

Oh that’s horrible. How could he do that? We should get him arrested. Do you want me to call the cops?

Don't think I don't detect that tone of sarcasm, mister. If you're going to make fun of me then you can go wait in line with everyone else who's waiting for me to care enough to hear the absurd insults and things people have to say to me.

Urea is good for flowers, relax. He’s doing you a favor.

But he's doing that in public. Everyone can see him and that is quite inappropriate, especially with the children around.

What?! I’m not peeing! That’d be gross. I was just… I don’t know what I was doing, I admit that. But God forbid me from using a bucket to pee.

Oh...well good. Because...like I said, that is not a urinal. I'm glad that crisis could be averted, I don't know what I'd do if you were peeing in the janitor's bucket. I don't think I've seen you around here before...are you looking for something? Or someone?

Now that is fucking creepy!! I don’t like homeless people. A few of them are pretty nice and I feel sorry for them, others are just gross.

I don't mind them at all, but I don't like it when they do things like that and won't listen when you say no...they can be a bit intimidating at times...

You … scared me.

Oh...my apologies, it's just that homeless man just peed into one of the potted plants outside of our building.

What the hell?

Look! That man is peeing into that flower pot! Do you know how expensive it is to maintain those around here?

Oh I know, it can lead to terrible side effects as well. There was once a test done on a baby, where they showed it a white rat. It wasn't scared of it, but then they started to sound an alarm every time the baby saw the rat so naturally, it grew to be afraid of it and even after the alarms stopped, the baby became traumatized every time it saw a white rat. I can't remember the full report on that, but it was simply a method of classical conditioning, but the child suffered as a result. I never said that it did, people can think what they want to think of their futures, it's their own to make.

Well it was usually meant to scare them, or teach them a lesson. In a more aggressive manner, in hopes that the fear would make them do or not do whatever they were told. I mean that the stories were meant for children, so the stories were changed to not be as scarring and have a happier ending.

Some of those tales I do believe were created from old, old, stories where it was a much more gruesome ending. Everything was altered for children though so that they could get their happily ever after and not be scarred.

And what made you decide to watch the classics?