7/1

wise men once said

“ no matter how bad your position were or how your flaws were exposed to the beauty of the world ,

you will eventually be found

as hindsight to it is now , i would have not cross that line again ,

the moment i realised that I am worth to live ,

i never felt the 1 hours in my life that long

the duration of it makes me think of my life & deaths

the nurses pass by , peek me to see if i was sleeping

I wasn’t sleeping the whole time

I was pretending to

I cry in silent , right beside my dad who’d worried still

He keep on looking at the monitor to check my heartbeat

Hoping that his son will remain calm and be okay

i was trying to hide my scars

in pain , depressed , sad

i remembered when one of the nurses said that i might have been stressed out and didn’t know how to expressed everything

She explain everythings .

I try to be better person day by day ,

Hoping to die with peace one day

God knows the sorrows inside of me

He knows i could let go something out from my chest

the pain i kept inside 

all the love i gave out

will it be redeem 

all the pain i have dealt

can i be breathing peacefully 

can i even held up my hands uphigh

the victory is yet to come

will i be giving a lot of soars 

or may i be receiving somes

all my wills

my trust 

my dignity 

all of it was burned

by the hate they gave

can i be loving someone  once again

or maybe i be disappears

knife 

bullet 

and pills

might be the option to take 

but i salute the gold of time 

that i may not ended my life with such a lies

i gain lose control 

to fight till i got my throne back

wasn’t the typical stupid royal throne

the throne of my happines

i have held as long as i remember until

a reckless thief stole it

why would i be surprise 

because i know they exchanged it with my sorrows 

to built their decent empire 

with the power that i used to have 

as my sorrows make me learned my lesson

i couldn’t trust any dirty mice anymore

even a blue petals resemble my tears drop

what could have been if there was red petals ; 

and yes

whenever there was a limitation people considered it as a life , 

but it wasn’t 

how could i be standing here watching all the life move forward while i’m struggling to chase the light and being left aside being throws away

even the beauty of a rose 

have its own cruel 

the thorns kept away the danger 

and bring ups the beauty of its own colour and scent

why can”t we become like it

when everything came to an end 

the regret might overcomes us

spill out a paper might not work 

but raise up a voice might wins the games

i am here giving a sense through poettrical 

some might not agreed 

some might took part in

we as a human being will always fail

even during the most darkest time

every situation might sent us to a conclusion

to be better , greatest and humble

none of this this might ruin you in life

because to the sense that it is pointless for you

maybe for now , but later might arrive

i was a sinner 

might my future it is 

so every imperfection of me i took it as a lesson

ignored the criticism or you might fall

move forward or you might not win

to win what?