still somewhat official

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

WTF (where's the feta?)

OMG (on my gnocchi.)

Jim Kirk could have punched through a 20-foot-thick diamond wall for Spock and Twelve and Clara could have fucked rolling around on the hot sands of Vulcan

would y’all ever date someone with the same name as you?

I’m sorry for adding directly to a post but I went to a wedding once where the groom’s name was Loren and the bride’s name was Lauren and at the end the officiant was all “introducing Loren [surname] and Lauren [surname], husband and wife” and the entire assembled lost it

also sorry for adding on but at my high school there was a Dominic and a Dominique who were dating and everyone just called them “Dom and Dommer” which is honestly the funniest shit ever

Had to submit it to the tags for peer review

tubi is one of our greatest warriors in the fight against streaming services costing a fortune for mediocre content. tubi has the most insane collection of movies you will ever encounter all for free. it has cult classics and questionable lifetime movies and movies that nobody except like three people on the planet have ever seen. tubi has movies that doesn’t exist. like if you just thought of a movie one day but never made it and no one ever made it it would somehow still exist on tubi. one day i will log onto tubitv dot com and i will see terribly inappropriate, overly complex, and strange on there. and i won’t even be surprised.

wait this wasn’t a “poob has it for you” bit?

tubi doesnt have what youre looking for but it does have a lot of things you would never have thought to

Was just having a discussion with my fiance that taco bell should change their slogan to "it's gonna be okay" or at the very least shorten "live más" to "live". just feels like thats what we need from them

They should change it to "live por favor" and when they hand you your order you hold hands for a moment and look in each others eyes

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

i think the beatles broke up bc they were all jealous ringo had a way cooler name

normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

i think they should put doctor who in the public domain and let us all start taking cracks at it on youtube