still somewhat official

i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.

the mediocre gatsby

the decent wall of china 

the ok depression

alright britain

The mildly interesting barrier reef

somewhat fulfilled expectations. 

catherine the ordinary

the satisfactory white shark

Alexander the Fine

passable pyrenees

the meh lakes

The average pryamids of Giza

the So-So Dane

the lackluster horned owl

the 7 average non wonders

wasting away again in tumblrinaville...

I wish humans had monkey tails (most likely tail we'd have ngl) because it would be so cute. There's an alternate world out there where people are dying their tails and buzzing patterns into them and getting tail accessories and tail piercings. God could you imagine

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

500 MILES?!?!?!

this blows i shouldve taken the old town road to where the streets have no name. i cant believe i have to drive 500 miles. wait hang on i have to what.

hallelujah im almost there! i walked across the bridge over troubled water and through the tunnel of love. i can see signs for paradise city which means im not far from funkytown! it’s been a long long time since i was there. anyway i don’t wanna linger here sooooo what do i do after i walk 500 miles

FUCK this. FUCK this and FUCK your hotel. YOU wanna walk on and on and on then you can go your own way but IM heading back to my fast car and getting on the road again. fuuuuuck i’m exhausted and i literally need a place to stay the night and wait wait okay rant cancelled. some guys are telling me there’s no need to feel down 

oh what a night! that sure WAS fun! but im out in the boonies and still need to get home haha so let’s see. ummmm i left my car on penny lane after i got in a teensy little accident (you will not believe what i was struck by). the car is fine fortunately! it’s just farms around here tho so like i don’t rlly know how the hell im gonna get back to my house but WHOAAAAA wait yeah. that’ll do it. guys i just remembered something really great about country roads 

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln