the referencer

doomscrolling thru the weather app

*guy who has never heard of Hamilton* I don’t know why you guys are all shipping random founding fathers with each other and not Lewis and Clark who were definitely fucking in a tent every chance they got on that trip Brokeback Mountain style

*guy who just found out about Hamilton* haha no I totally knew you were talking about the musical, I was just joking. no, I don’t think about Lewis and Clark’s relationship as doomed yaoi. that’d be weird.

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

I bet it feels so good to use all the allotted time for an assignment (of whatever kind in life and work and school) to chip away at it in healthy, manageable portions day by day and finish it comfortably and confidently with time to spare

Shall I blow them up my liege?

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

@mousegirlheart

it would probably move faster if your phone wasn't encased in green gelatin

the liberal media won’t trick me into removing my protective delicious gels

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

hey its me your immune system. looks like we caught somethin here. try sneezing real fast see if that gets rid of it. yeah no dice, huh... alright lemme try filling your lungs with fluid. no yeah i do it all the time dont worry works like a charm. hmmm... still no good... alright well just hold tight here for a minute maybe it just needs time to start working. in the mean time ill go fire up the ol' neuron cooker n see if that helps

HEY its me again. false alarm turns out it was just like pollen or somethin haha sorry i can be a little jumpy is all. ...hey man youre not lookin so good are you okay?

elephant shrews are more closely related to elephants than shrews

they keep mentioning lady and the tramping random food and im starting to think that may just be how they eat everything