solution: give him his own gaggle of children (both cannon and non-cannon) that he needs to grow and change for so they have a solid role model T-T

featuring: billy's angry Mom glare

Steve: Why the hell are you dressed as a pirate?

Eddie: I was hoping to get some booty tonight.

Steve:

Eddie:

Steve: Fuck it. Get upstairs. Take everything off except the boots and the bandana. . .and the eyeliner. I want to make it run and stain my pillow.

Steve stripped completely and started walking upstairs.

Steve: By the way, where did you get the fake parrot?

Eddie: Fake?

Parrot: *squawking and flapping his wings* BIG BOY! BIG BOY!

Steve: *stares* You know, you don't have to do this. I'll literally drop my pants if you just look at me.

Eddie: NOW you say something!

At Show night, Steve shows up before they go on. “Got a surprise for you,” he says with a huge grin.

Eddie cups his face and kisses him. “What’s that, Stevie?”

And Steve beams and pulls the shirts out of the bag.

Eddie stares. “No way. Holy shit.”

“You like it? Now you’re a real band,” Steve says.

“I love it. Are you kidding me?” Eddie flips the shirt and reads the back. Property of Steve Harrington. He barks out a laugh and yanks Steve in by the collar, kissing him.

Steve kisses him back, smiling against his mouth. “So everyone knows.”

Eddie pulls away, eyes glinting. “Fair’s fair, Steve. If I’m branded, you’re getting branded too.”

Steve raises an eyebrow, already flustered. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, dragging him toward the back table where there’s a sharpie. He pops the cap and scrawls across Steve’s chest, right over his heart Property of Eddie Munson.

“So now everyone knows you’re mine, baby.”

However, Eddie never thought that Steve would actually outdo him in just how often he wanted to jump his boyfriend’s bones and now he’s on his back heaving, flushed with his hair in every direction as he stares at the ceiling with a blissed-out expression across his face.

Three times? New record for them.

It’s only when he gets up to piss that he notices just how marked up he is and he lets out a squawk that wakes Steve up.

Who just grins like the menace he is when he spots Eddie trying to arch his head to see all the love-bites.

“Everybody knows I’m yours!” Eddie sighed, his lips in a smirk as he eyes Steve.

“Uh huh and now they are doubly sure of that,” Steve laughs, his hand running through his messy hair, “and I’m just as much yours, by the way,”

“Ooooh, the Harrington Charm,” Eddie chuckled, his fingers still pressing against the marks on his skin, “that only comes out when you’re causing trouble,” he arched his eyebrow playfully.

This results in Steve pausing, a smile on his face, before he swiftly slaps Eddie’s left butt cheek.

“I’m your favourite ‘trouble!’” he yells as he makes his way back to the bedroom.

“STEVE!”

He didn’t understand it at first until he watched Steve going on failed dates after failed dates, or watching a short relationship end in a terrible break-up and Steve moping around.

Eddie didn’t want to count how many times he’s seen Steve’s heart break.

So now he’s on a mission: keep Steve from dating.

He’s ruining every opportunity Steve gets for dates, making plans with him almost every weekend and after a while, Steve stops asking girls out and Eddie feels accomplished.

At least, he did until Steve kissed him goodbye after movie night and now Eddie’s so fucking confused.