𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠༞

coming to south korea to work wasn't part of your plan.

coming to south korea to work, and then getting yourself a girlfriend also wasn't part of your plan.

coming to south korea to work, and then getting yourself a girlfriend, who happens to be a worldwide-known k-pop idol, was definitely not part of your plan.

so it was quite obvious that you're in a secret relationship—a relationship that exists entirely in the shadows.

not because either of you wants it that way. it's just that the alternative would be unimaginable: the world could potentially fall into pieces if people were to find out the minatozaki sana is taken, especially with a woman.

and it's also the irony of it all that sana is also just an ordinary human being. someone who deserves to be loved, cherished, and taken care of romantically.

every day you wake up and somehow find a new reason to stare at her. she's breathtaking, yes, that you can't lie. but it's also the way she scrunches her nose when she laughs, or how she's super focused on her english homework you've been giving her ever since you both got together.

(it's been going great, actually, a great activity to spend time together and also get to know each other more.

she teaches you korean mostly, but sometimes slips in a few japanese lessons here and there, while you help her with english.

and it's nice, to have her sitting next to you on the couch while she mumbles out a sentence that you know feels foreign on her tongue.

and when she says it correctly without any mistakes, she'll always, without fail, point a finger to her cheek (or most of the time, to her lips), scooting closer with a wiggle so you could give her a kiss as a reward.

then she'll giggle and ask for more without any shame, until she pushes all the work off herself and back onto the coffee table, then settles herself onto your lap and will ask for even more kisses and say, "think enough studying, focus me instead."

you'll roll your eyes fondly but still give in, because it's hard to ever say no to sana, especially when she’s already leaning for a sweet kiss; her sweeter perfume scent invades your space enough for you to believe that all you’ll ever know is sana).

the contrast between this woman and the woman the world knew is almost absurd.

because while millions see an idol who rivals the sun (which is very true), you see more private and intimate parts of her.

the way she always find her way to your side of the bed at night, whining and grumbling even in her sleep when you try to shuffle her carefully back to her side (it never works, because the death grip she has on your shirt or around you barely budges).

the way she always trudges her way to the couch from the bedroom with a sad pout on her face after a heated argument, apologies spilling almost incoherently, and a request for you to come and cuddle her (and once you're warm under the covers with her curling into your arms like a cat seeking warmth, she'll sniffle and mumble nasally with a "…'m sorry, didn't mean be angry at you...").

the way she always helps you fix your korean grammar through text, enough times for you to remember and thank her with a voice message in korean (she usually saves the audio in an instant, sending you multiple selfies that have you saving them as well).

and it's all been going great, with your relationship developing strongly. though, the hardest part is keeping it a secret, especially from the rest of the twice members.

—

sana has it the hardest. not because she's bad at keeping secrets, but because she is hopelessly, disastrously in love.

the problem isn’t just hiding the relationship from the public, but it’s hiding it from the eight women who've known her for years.

because as much as she tries to hide her smiles whenever she texts you, she'll always look up from her phone and see her members giving her a weird look.

or how she catches herself humming a love song, stopping midway to hear jeongyeon snicker.

the heart locket she brings everywhere also has her members asking when she got it; curiosity seeps when they try to peek at what's in the pendant, but they always fail (a picture of you both at a photo booth you took for your one-year anniversary).

it also doesn't help that she checks her phone every few minutes, looking so dejected to not see a reply from you that has mina asking her if she's alright.

she's especially been walking on eggshells ever since jihyo caught her mid-conversation with you on the phone.

(she had been very careful then, looking both ways in the hallway before picking up your call because she insisted on hearing your voice. it wasn't until she whispered out an "i love you" with a smile so big her cheeks started to hurt in a good way, looking up as a habit to see jihyo standing there with a questioning look on her face.

and she really hopes jihyo accepts her half-ass of an excuse that she was on the phone with her mom and doesn't ask her anything further.

and jihyo did drop the topic as quickly as it was answered, reminding her practice is starting back up soon before turning the corner.

but then sana realized in horror that she had said "i love you" in english...her mother is japanese, for goodness sake).

—

"look at you, your english is getting really good, baby."

the compliment is accompanied by a gentle pat to the head, your fingers slipping through her newly dyed hair. your girlfriend lets out a triumphant noise immediately, pushing her head into your hand more.

"see?" she exclaims, turning toward you with an impossibly bright grin, "i'm a very fast, mm—learner, very fast learner!"

your smile gets bigger, heart overflowing with pride.

"you are, baby, i'm so proud of you!"

she shifts around the bed excitedly, finally not dreading the language but rather happy that she's finally getting it down.

"i work very hard."

you nod repeatedly, "very hard indeed," giving her two thumbs up that have her beaming at the validation, practically vibrating with satisfaction before scooting closer and pressing herself against your side.

"and i also have a good teacher. a very pretty and uh—how do you say beautiful in english?" she switches her english sentence midway to korean, brows furrowed trying to remember.

"uh beautiful...?" you whisper in korean, trying to decipher what that word even means.

(you vaguely remember sana whispering that hotly into your skin a few nights ago when you were over at her place, but your lower body had been aching far too much with want to even ask sana what she's whispering as she gives you love bites down to—)

"darling?" sana calls out to you, expression amused as she takes in your flustered state, "are you okay? you're...blushing...?"

"oh—it's nothing, uhm yeah, nothing..." you hid your face in your hand, pretending to scratch your chin.

she pulls out her phone to translate the word, showing you her screen at what she meant earlier.

ah beautiful. you bury your face further into your palm, feeling blood rush to your ears as your mind takes you back to that thought again.

—

"since when did your english go from horribly bad to now native speaker level, sana?" momo asks as she lazily goes through sana's snack drawer.

"hey! you can't come over trying to wipe out all my food and be mean to me at the same time," sana whines, reaching over the couch to grab the remote control to switch the show (nayeon being on her phone tells her just enough that the current one is boring).

the elder does peer up in curiosity when she hears momo's question, nodding in agreement.

"yeah, you've gotten crazy good. have you seen yourself speaking during the U.S. tours? even our translator was stumped," nayeon says before yelling over her shoulder at momo to grab more bags of snacks, earning an eye roll from sana.

jihyo sighs at the bickering, tapping her lap for boo and dobby to jump up in, but they dismiss her cue and clatters to momo in the kitchen.

"i've just been studying, is all. it's been on my radar since forever..." she trails off as she takes a bite of the beef jerky that jihyo holds out for her.

"half true, but come on, there's no way! i don't see your head all up in books, and we've been at practice almost every day for months!" momo plops herself next to nayeon on the couch, arms filled with food sana didn't even know she had.

"i have free time after practice, momoring."

jihyo glances at momo and nayeon with a knowing look—one that has sana feel out of the loop because she's not sure why jihyo is looking at the two like that.

"guys! stop eyeing each other like that! why are we so surprised at my english exactly?" sana shoots all three of them a questioning look, unimpressed at the clueless expressions.

"well, for starters," nayeon starts, pausing for a second to collect her thoughts, "you've been kind of suspicious around us lately, so we're wondering if it has anything to do with your english or something else."

sana stays quiet at that, trying to think of excuses or stray away from this topic, because it's getting too close to being about you.

"i-i do?"

all three women nods.

"yeah, you smile a lot at your phone...is your english teacher online or something? like through an app of some sort?" momo asks through a mouthful of food that has sana and jihyo grimacing, the unflattering view right in front of them.

sana shakes her head, "no…" the half-lie feels weird coming out of her mouth, not sure how much longer she can hide from them.

it was nayeon's turn to raise her eyebrows, "is your teacher in-person then...you randomly disappear after schedules sometimes."

"no, i’m learning by myself…" the questioned girl looks down at her fidgety hands in her lap, finger itching to look at her phone right now because she forgot to tell you that she won't be able to call tonight because the girls are over.

"sana," jihyo starts, looking over at her seriously with a gaze that she knows she can't escape from whatever is about to come out of her leader's mouth.

then the bomb drops.

"you're dating someone, aren't you?"

sana chokes on her own spit, letting out a coughing fit as jihyo pats her back with one hand, the other giving her a drink.

"jihyo! we were supposed to build up to that!" nayeon sits up straighter in her seat, a hand gripping on momo's thigh, trying to stabilize herself.

"i'm sorry! it's just that the build-up is so slow and we obviously weren't going to get anything out of it!"

three pairs of eyes shoot sana concerning glances before they become gentle and understanding-like.

sana shifts uncomfortably, fingers now starting to peel the skin around her nails before jihyo's warm hand places over them.

"seriously, though, sana," her voice softens, "we're family. if you're not ready to tell us, we can pretend this conversation never happened. but just know that we're with you, okay?"

sana lips wobble into a deep pout, eyes getting glassy as nayeon gets up to sit next to her, momo sitting on the floor in front of her as she rubs her knee.

"whoever it is, i can tell they treat you very lovingly, just like how you're supposed to be treated, sana," nayeon's calming voice grounds her, always.

"thank you…uhm, i am dating someone..." she admits quietly, "it's just, i—"

sana stops as she hears electronic beeps, the distinct sound of someone entering a passcode into the keypad outside her door. all four pairs of wide eyes snap their head directly at the door, three pairs of brows scrunched in confusion at who the hell is trying to come into sana's apartment at this hour.

"are you expecting someone?" no.

"management?" no.

"then, who the hell—" oh, god.

the door swings open, with you stepping into the entryway, holding a gift box in one hand, with bags of sana's favorite junk food in the other.

your attention is focused entirely on kicking your shoes off while balancing the items in your hands, "sana, baby, i brought—" your mouth dries up as the words die instantly.

because as you look up, you see nayeon, jihyo, momo, and your girlfriend staring at you with shocked expressions written all over their faces.

you blink, they blink; the silence stretches.

your soul leaves your body, realizing whatever continues after this will either make or break it. because the fact that you waltzed into sana's apartment like you live there, with food and a gift, shouting out a pet name and knowing the code; you outed yourself in the span of five seconds.

"...h-hello—"

"sana, is that who you're dating?!" nayeon is the first to recover and shout, with jihyo following after, "is she your english teacher, too?"

momo somehow adds the cherry on top with, "i'll decide if you're good for sana or not when you show me what you got in those bags of goodies."

sana feels faint, making a noise somewhere between a groan and a dying whine.

-

the questions are endless, but you both answer them all truthfully (as much as your korean could carry through): how you've met, how you've been helping each other learn your languages, how you've been trying to hide it from everyone.

there's no point in dodging anymore—not when nayeon is already leaning back like she owns the place, not when momo has claimed some of the bread (she approves the food, thank god), not when jihyo looks personally satisfied that she had been right all along.

you peer over at sana—who still looks a little flushed—as nayeon shoots over a joke to jihyo, seeing your girlfriend laugh with ease and breathing easier, lighter.

she catches you looking mid-laugh, her expression softens right away, like it always does when it's just the two of you in a crowded room.

and as the room settles back into easy noise—teasing, laughter, the rustle of takeout bags—you realize something simple.

the secret didn't survive the night.

but somehow, neither did the feat of it not surviving.

-

"just don't overthink it," nayeon lingers at the doorway, letting out a genuine smile of her own, bunny teeth and all, "you can tell the rest when you're ready."

momo nods next to her with a wink, an index coming up to her lips, "your secret is safe with us."

jihyo gives you both a hug, hand motioning a 'call me if you need' before they all disappear into the elevator.

sana leans her back against the door for a moment after she closes it, exhaling slowly, shoulders dropping.

"hey," you say softly, arms extending where you stand.

sana squeals as she runs into your arms, her laugh carefree as she's spun around; the sound fills the room with undeniable mirth.

-

your girlfriend kicks off her house slippers and climbs onto the bed first, immediately stretching out with a whine as all the tension in her body finally found somewhere safe to fall apart.

she opens her eyes to still see you standing at the bathroom doorway, gaze tender. with the rustle of blankets, she lifts the sheets and pats the space next to her, inviting you in with a warm smile. the soft glow of the bedside lamp makes her look even more angel-like.

your girlfriend burrows closer once you settle in, sneaking cold hands under your shirt and pressing her cheek against your chest.

you yelp from the iciness, but then sana shifts up to give you a kiss, making you forget what you were squeaking about in the first place.

you feel her smile into the kiss as you run your fingers through her hair, earning a cute sound when you nibble on her lower lip.

"comfortable?" you stare down at her breathlessly, pushing hair away from her face to behind her ear, thumb coming back to slide on her soft cheek.

"no, not yet."

you raise an eyebrow at her teasing grin, eyes flickering down to her swollen lips, "no?"

she tangles her legs with yours under the layers, tightening her hold around your waist with her palms splayed out on your back, mindlessly tracing patterns.

you pull the blanket higher around both of you, repeatedly giving her nose kisses until she finally melts as she snuggles deeper into your embrace.

"perfect," she sleepily says, eyes already closed as she tries to push out one more sentence before dreamland whisks her away, "love you..."

coming to south korea to work wasn't part of your plan.

coming to south korea to work, and then getting yourself a girlfriend also wasn't part of your plan.

coming to south korea to work, and then getting yourself a girlfriend, who happens to be a worldwide-known k-pop idol, was definitely not part of your plan.

so it was quite obvious that you're in a secret relationship—a relationship that exists entirely in the shadows.

not because either of you wants it that way. it's just that the alternative would be unimaginable: the world could potentially fall into pieces if people were to find out the minatozaki sana is taken, especially with a woman.

and it's also the irony of it all that sana is also just an ordinary human being. someone who deserves to be loved, cherished, and taken care of romantically.

every day you wake up and somehow find a new reason to stare at her. she's breathtaking, yes, that you can't lie. but it's also the way she scrunches her nose when she laughs, or how she's super focused on her english homework you've been giving her ever since you both got together.

(it's been going great, actually, a great activity to spend time together and also get to know each other more.

she teaches you korean mostly, but sometimes slips in a few japanese lessons here and there, while you help her with english.

and it's nice, to have her sitting next to you on the couch while she mumbles out a sentence that you know feels foreign on her tongue.

and when she says it correctly without any mistakes, she'll always, without fail, point a finger to her cheek (or most of the time, to her lips), scooting closer with a wiggle so you could give her a kiss as a reward.

then she'll giggle and ask for more without any shame, until she pushes all the work off herself and back onto the coffee table, then settles herself onto your lap and will ask for even more kisses and say, "think enough studying, focus me instead."

you'll roll your eyes fondly but still give in, because it's hard to ever say no to sana, especially when she’s already leaning for a sweet kiss; her sweeter perfume scent invades your space enough for you to believe that all you’ll ever know is sana).

the contrast between this woman and the woman the world knew is almost absurd.

because while millions see an idol who rivals the sun (which is very true), you see more private and intimate parts of her.

the way she always find her way to your side of the bed at night, whining and grumbling even in her sleep when you try to shuffle her carefully back to her side (it never works, because the death grip she has on your shirt or around you barely budges).

the way she always trudges her way to the couch from the bedroom with a sad pout on her face after a heated argument, apologies spilling almost incoherently, and a request for you to come and cuddle her (and once you're warm under the covers with her curling into your arms like a cat seeking warmth, she'll sniffle and mumble nasally with a "…'m sorry, didn't mean be angry at you...").

the way she always helps you fix your korean grammar through text, enough times for you to remember and thank her with a voice message in korean (she usually saves the audio in an instant, sending you multiple selfies that have you saving them as well).

and it's all been going great, with your relationship developing strongly. though, the hardest part is keeping it a secret, especially from the rest of the twice members.

—

sana has it the hardest. not because she's bad at keeping secrets, but because she is hopelessly, disastrously in love.

the problem isn’t just hiding the relationship from the public, but it’s hiding it from the eight women who've known her for years.

because as much as she tries to hide her smiles whenever she texts you, she'll always look up from her phone and see her members giving her a weird look.

or how she catches herself humming a love song, stopping midway to hear jeongyeon snicker.

the heart locket she brings everywhere also has her members asking when she got it; curiosity seeps when they try to peek at what's in the pendant, but they always fail (a picture of you both at a photo booth you took for your one-year anniversary).

it also doesn't help that she checks her phone every few minutes, looking so dejected to not see a reply from you that has mina asking her if she's alright.

she's especially been walking on eggshells ever since jihyo caught her mid-conversation with you on the phone.

(she had been very careful then, looking both ways in the hallway before picking up your call because she insisted on hearing your voice. it wasn't until she whispered out an "i love you" with a smile so big her cheeks started to hurt in a good way, looking up as a habit to see jihyo standing there with a questioning look on her face.

and she really hopes jihyo accepts her half-ass of an excuse that she was on the phone with her mom and doesn't ask her anything further.

and jihyo did drop the topic as quickly as it was answered, reminding her practice is starting back up soon before turning the corner.

but then sana realized in horror that she had said "i love you" in english...her mother is japanese, for goodness sake).

—

"look at you, your english is getting really good, baby."

the compliment is accompanied by a gentle pat to the head, your fingers slipping through her newly dyed hair. your girlfriend lets out a triumphant noise immediately, pushing her head into your hand more.

"see?" she exclaims, turning toward you with an impossibly bright grin, "i'm a very fast, mm—learner, very fast learner!"

your smile gets bigger, heart overflowing with pride.

"you are, baby, i'm so proud of you!"

she shifts around the bed excitedly, finally not dreading the language but rather happy that she's finally getting it down.

"i work very hard."

you nod repeatedly, "very hard indeed," giving her two thumbs up that have her beaming at the validation, practically vibrating with satisfaction before scooting closer and pressing herself against your side.

"and i also have a good teacher. a very pretty and uh—how do you say beautiful in english?" she switches her english sentence midway to korean, brows furrowed trying to remember.

"uh beautiful...?" you whisper in korean, trying to decipher what that word even means.

(you vaguely remember sana whispering that hotly into your skin a few nights ago when you were over at her place, but your lower body had been aching far too much with want to even ask sana what she's whispering as she gives you love bites down to—)

"darling?" sana calls out to you, expression amused as she takes in your flustered state, "are you okay? you're...blushing...?"

"oh—it's nothing, uhm yeah, nothing..." you hid your face in your hand, pretending to scratch your chin.

she pulls out her phone to translate the word, showing you her screen at what she meant earlier.

ah beautiful. you bury your face further into your palm, feeling blood rush to your ears as your mind takes you back to that thought again.

—

"since when did your english go from horribly bad to now native speaker level, sana?" momo asks as she lazily goes through sana's snack drawer.

"hey! you can't come over trying to wipe out all my food and be mean to me at the same time," sana whines, reaching over the couch to grab the remote control to switch the show (nayeon being on her phone tells her just enough that the current one is boring).

the elder does peer up in curiosity when she hears momo's question, nodding in agreement.

"yeah, you've gotten crazy good. have you seen yourself speaking during the U.S. tours? even our translator was stumped," nayeon says before yelling over her shoulder at momo to grab more bags of snacks, earning an eye roll from sana.

jihyo sighs at the bickering, tapping her lap for boo and dobby to jump up in, but they dismiss her cue and clatters to momo in the kitchen.

"i've just been studying, is all. it's been on my radar since forever..." she trails off as she takes a bite of the beef jerky that jihyo holds out for her.

"half true, but come on, there's no way! i don't see your head all up in books, and we've been at practice almost every day for months!" momo plops herself next to nayeon on the couch, arms filled with food sana didn't even know she had.

"i have free time after practice, momoring."

jihyo glances at momo and nayeon with a knowing look—one that has sana feel out of the loop because she's not sure why jihyo is looking at the two like that.

"guys! stop eyeing each other like that! why are we so surprised at my english exactly?" sana shoots all three of them a questioning look, unimpressed at the clueless expressions.

"well, for starters," nayeon starts, pausing for a second to collect her thoughts, "you've been kind of suspicious around us lately, so we're wondering if it has anything to do with your english or something else."

sana stays quiet at that, trying to think of excuses or stray away from this topic, because it's getting too close to being about you.

"i-i do?"

all three women nods.

"yeah, you smile a lot at your phone...is your english teacher online or something? like through an app of some sort?" momo asks through a mouthful of food that has sana and jihyo grimacing, the unflattering view right in front of them.

sana shakes her head, "no…" the half-lie feels weird coming out of her mouth, not sure how much longer she can hide from them.

it was nayeon's turn to raise her eyebrows, "is your teacher in-person then...you randomly disappear after schedules sometimes."

"no, i’m learning by myself…" the questioned girl looks down at her fidgety hands in her lap, finger itching to look at her phone right now because she forgot to tell you that she won't be able to call tonight because the girls are over.

"sana," jihyo starts, looking over at her seriously with a gaze that she knows she can't escape from whatever is about to come out of her leader's mouth.

then the bomb drops.

"you're dating someone, aren't you?"

sana chokes on her own spit, letting out a coughing fit as jihyo pats her back with one hand, the other giving her a drink.

"jihyo! we were supposed to build up to that!" nayeon sits up straighter in her seat, a hand gripping on momo's thigh, trying to stabilize herself.

"i'm sorry! it's just that the build-up is so slow and we obviously weren't going to get anything out of it!"

three pairs of eyes shoot sana concerning glances before they become gentle and understanding-like.

sana shifts uncomfortably, fingers now starting to peel the skin around her nails before jihyo's warm hand places over them.

"seriously, though, sana," her voice softens, "we're family. if you're not ready to tell us, we can pretend this conversation never happened. but just know that we're with you, okay?"

sana lips wobble into a deep pout, eyes getting glassy as nayeon gets up to sit next to her, momo sitting on the floor in front of her as she rubs her knee.

"whoever it is, i can tell they treat you very lovingly, just like how you're supposed to be treated, sana," nayeon's calming voice grounds her, always.

"thank you…uhm, i am dating someone..." she admits quietly, "it's just, i—"

sana stops as she hears electronic beeps, the distinct sound of someone entering a passcode into the keypad outside her door. all four pairs of wide eyes snap their head directly at the door, three pairs of brows scrunched in confusion at who the hell is trying to come into sana's apartment at this hour.

"are you expecting someone?" no.

"management?" no.

"then, who the hell—" oh, god.

the door swings open, with you stepping into the entryway, holding a gift box in one hand, with bags of sana's favorite junk food in the other.

your attention is focused entirely on kicking your shoes off while balancing the items in your hands, "sana, baby, i brought—" your mouth dries up as the words die instantly.

because as you look up, you see nayeon, jihyo, momo, and your girlfriend staring at you with shocked expressions written all over their faces.

you blink, they blink; the silence stretches.

your soul leaves your body, realizing whatever continues after this will either make or break it. because the fact that you waltzed into sana's apartment like you live there, with food and a gift, shouting out a pet name and knowing the code; you outed yourself in the span of five seconds.

"...h-hello—"

"sana, is that who you're dating?!" nayeon is the first to recover and shout, with jihyo following after, "is she your english teacher, too?"

momo somehow adds the cherry on top with, "i'll decide if you're good for sana or not when you show me what you got in those bags of goodies."

sana feels faint, making a noise somewhere between a groan and a dying whine.

-

the questions are endless, but you both answer them all truthfully (as much as your korean could carry through): how you've met, how you've been helping each other learn your languages, how you've been trying to hide it from everyone.

there's no point in dodging anymore—not when nayeon is already leaning back like she owns the place, not when momo has claimed some of the bread (she approves the food, thank god), not when jihyo looks personally satisfied that she had been right all along.

you peer over at sana—who still looks a little flushed—as nayeon shoots over a joke to jihyo, seeing your girlfriend laugh with ease and breathing easier, lighter.

she catches you looking mid-laugh, her expression softens right away, like it always does when it's just the two of you in a crowded room.

and as the room settles back into easy noise—teasing, laughter, the rustle of takeout bags—you realize something simple.

the secret didn't survive the night.

but somehow, neither did the feat of it not surviving.

-

"just don't overthink it," nayeon lingers at the doorway, letting out a genuine smile of her own, bunny teeth and all, "you can tell the rest when you're ready."

momo nods next to her with a wink, an index coming up to her lips, "your secret is safe with us."

jihyo gives you both a hug, hand motioning a 'call me if you need' before they all disappear into the elevator.

sana leans her back against the door for a moment after she closes it, exhaling slowly, shoulders dropping.

"hey," you say softly, arms extending where you stand.

sana squeals as she runs into your arms, her laugh carefree as she's spun around; the sound fills the room with undeniable mirth.

-

your girlfriend kicks off her house slippers and climbs onto the bed first, immediately stretching out with a whine as all the tension in her body finally found somewhere safe to fall apart.

she opens her eyes to still see you standing at the bathroom doorway, gaze tender. with the rustle of blankets, she lifts the sheets and pats the space next to her, inviting you in with a warm smile. the soft glow of the bedside lamp makes her look even more angel-like.

your girlfriend burrows closer once you settle in, sneaking cold hands under your shirt and pressing her cheek against your chest.

you yelp from the iciness, but then sana shifts up to give you a kiss, making you forget what you were squeaking about in the first place.

you feel her smile into the kiss as you run your fingers through her hair, earning a cute sound when you nibble on her lower lip.

"comfortable?" you stare down at her breathlessly, pushing hair away from her face to behind her ear, thumb coming back to slide on her soft cheek.

"no, not yet."

you raise an eyebrow at her teasing grin, eyes flickering down to her swollen lips, "no?"

she tangles her legs with yours under the layers, tightening her hold around your waist with her palms splayed out on your back, mindlessly tracing patterns.

you pull the blanket higher around both of you, repeatedly giving her nose kisses until she finally melts as she snuggles deeper into your embrace.

"perfect," she sleepily says, eyes already closed as she tries to push out one more sentence before dreamland whisks her away, "love you..."

being in a different group than your girlfriend is already hard; trying to find time for each other was even harder.

between comeback preparations, overseas schedules, music show recordings, variety appearances, brand shoots, dance practices that stretch long past midnight, studio recordings, and the exhaustion that settles into your bones, there are weeks when it feels as though the two of you exist in entirely separate worlds despite living in the same city.

your schedules are most likely always conflicting with each other, both of you are either too busy or tired on some days to even text or call.

days when your phone is full of unread messages because you've spent hours of your day filming, when she falls asleep halfway through a call because she was still jetlagged, or when neither of you have the energy to do anything more than send a single heart emoji before passing out.

but you do find ways around it, because when you love someone dearly, you’ll do all it takes to show it.

and that's how you find yourself with most of mina's clothes and things at your place (because she prefers your cozy apartment and that "everything smells like you.")

her clothes have made their home in your closet: shirts, sweaters, hoodies, jeans, sweatpants, to name a few.

even her switch gets left behind sometimes, with her bringing it on some nights where she knows you'll be home late and would pass time on her cute games.

you don't question on why you've been starting to lose some of your favorite oversized hoodies or sweatshirts, because you definitely know where they've been going.

—

the funny thing is that neither of you has done anything that should have started a dating rumor in the first place.

there has been no suspicious interactions caught by dispatch cameras (you both have been very cautious, though it's hard sometimes when mina would subtly tease you in front of your door before you hastily pull her in by the front of your her shirt).

there have been no lingering touches or stares during award shows or crowded stages that fans could possibly slow down in fancams and replay a hundred times over, searching for anything.

or rather, there is supposed to be no shipping between you both, because you've never interacted besides a few dance challenges together. it's impossible and just mere coincidences.

which is exactly why the first few fan posts have been so amusing. none of them related to direct contacts: hidden glances and secretive smiles, long interactions, or solid evidence with grainy photos and ground-breaking headlines.

they are all related to non-direct contacts instead: matching clothes, matching accessories, matching bags, matching nail styles—just matching, matching, matching that neither you or mina picked up on it.

one fan at a fansign had noticed that your nail style matched that of mina from twice, even pulling out his phone to show the exact picture of your girlfriend's bubble update, with the same nail design just in a different color (it's been her recent hobby lately, and you couldn't say no when she whined and pouted for her to do yours, too).

it isn't until you stumble upon a post with a caption that says: [two beloved members from different groups have a lot of matching things...that can only mean one thing in korea! post any pictures or incidents of them matching in the reply!]

the comments are quite skeptical at first, finding the whole ordeal to be a bit too far-fetched, until numerous fans from both fandoms start to reply with their fair share of pictures.

a picture of you wearing brown sambas at the airport, the exact pair that mina had worn a few weeks back at a fansign.

a picture of mina wearing a university hoodie in her instagram live, the exact one fans saw you wearing in one of your group's traveling vlog months ago.

a long thread of an OP saying how she saw the same necklaces worn by both of you when she went to misamo's fan club event and to your post-brand filming, where you signed her album after walking out of the building.

and suddenly, what starts as a harmless joke between two fandoms quickly evolves into an increasingly elaborate speculation and theory that seems to gain a new piece of 'evidence' every day.

the thread of the post becomes longer, adorned with side-by-side pictures of you both, with circles and arrows revealing similar items.

—

the first time mina shows you one of the edits—which was yesterday— the two of you are curled together on the couch of your apartment watching tv, a throw blanket with mini dachshund prints on them (mina's) covering her.

it's one of the rare days where you can have a free night with your girlfriend snuggled up on you—her body sprawls across the length of the couch with her head resting comfortably in your lap, a hand of yours combing through her hair, stopping right at her nape to lightly scratch the area that makes her purr in contentment.

mina checks the notifications on her phone when an ad pops up in the middle of an episiode of a kdrama she's been dying to watch with you, her hand reaching up for yours to bring down to her lips, giving it a kiss.

she snuggles into it as she absentmindedly scrolls, letting out a laugh that you know is gummy and all.

"what got you laughing when the only source that should be making you laugh is right behind you?"

she whines as you pinch her cheek, letting out a huff as she turns on her back to show you her phone screen.

and you laugh, too, because what she shows you is genuinely hilarious.

it was a recent reply under the matching post (mina has gotten in bookmarked and saved for easy access just because she wants to see how far fans could go, but you think she only saved it so she can see you wearing her things).

the caption reads: [they definitely have something going on...because what do you mean you guys have matching bracelets for ldr couples?!] with a picture attached of said items on each of your wrists.

(it was mina's idea, really, to get matching bracelets that would light up and vibrate against your wrist whenever she taps her own, vice versa. and you both don't really wear it often, only for far distances or months of touring do you have it on). it’s truly endearing because your bracelet would always vibrate when you’re miles away from your girlfriend).

you stare at her screen before looking down at her, then back at the post, then at mina again, and suddenly the two of you dissolve into helpless giggles and laughter.

the sound fills the apartment, warm and unrestrained, echoing off the walls as she buries her face against your stomach.

"they're getting warmer, alright. they're technically not wrong..." you snicker in your hand, cheeks starting to hurt from how much you've been laughing.

"they're so funny. if only they could see how my head is in your lap right now. how i’m about to get up and straddle you, instead."

and before you could let her words sink in, she got up from her lying position to throw a leg over your hips, blankets following not too far behind to be around her shoulders, slightly slipping down one side as she leans closer.

"mina, baby, the show—"

"kiss me."

and suddenly you don't remember what you were talking about prior.

—

the ship remains trapped in a strange limbo where people continue to create threads and theories, even catching the attention of popular fan sites from other groups.

you are laying under your covers when mina video calls you. shuffling your fingers out from the warmth, you click on the 'accept' button, screen then showing mina in an oversized sweater that you've been trying to find to pack for your overseas schedule, applying on a face mask.

"hey cute girl with my sweater and a mask on, i've been waiting for your call, your highness."

mina smiles as much as her face mask allows her, growing shy at your words, "you’re so sappy…and your sweater is comfortable…and i miss you…”

“you’re so cute, mitang. i miss you even more! want to kiss you,” you pout into your duvet, eyes becoming crescent moons when mina blows you a kiss.

“actually, i have a very important favor to ask you..." her voice is gentle as she trails off, pouting into the screen (one that she knows you can't say no to, whatever the favor is).

"i'm at your service!"

"i left my switch at your place the other day...could you possibly bring it with you on your trip? i need you to log in to animal crossing and do my daily tasks and gift my villagers."

and you couldn't help but burst out laughing—cackling even, because out of all the favors, you did not expect that one.

because when she's looking at you with that sheepish smile, the mask taken off, revealing her beautiful moles scattered across her angelic face, you couldn't possibly say no to your adorable girlfriend who really cares for her equally adorable villagers.

-

by the time you arrive at the airport, you clutch the pouch with mina's device inside against your side with care.

cameras flash just as you get out of the car, walking towards the entrance with practiced ease—nodding, smiling, waving, listening, chatting.

your hand is still wrapped around mina's crocheted switch bag, even in the airport lounge, to when you're boarding and comfortable in your seat.

when the plane finally takes off, you're blissfully unaware of what's happening on the internet, especially under the maching post of you and mina.

fans are going crazy online, with airport pictures of you holding the bag spreading all over social media.

[isn't that twice's mina crocheted bag for her switch?!]

[this can't be a coincidence anymore!!!!]

[did mina make her one??? or is it the same one???]

reply -> [i mean if mina did make her one, then they're matching...and if it's the same one...then they've been sharing the switch...meaning they've been interacting this whole. damn. time!!!]

[wait i know we've joked about this ship, but i think it's real y'all...]

[guys remember how mina said in her vlog that she never lends her gaming devices to anyone...? tell me i'm not crazy]

another picture was posted, where the pouch had slightly shifted in your hand, just enough for a sticker on the corner of the device to become visible.

[this is it, it's 100% mina's switch]

-

by the time you land at your destination, you take your phone out right away, wanting to notify your girlfriend that you arrived safe and sound.

she replies immediately with a "miss you," along with a link to the saved post, "i think our fans nailed it."

and as you open the link, your eyes widen, seeing the hundreds of comments and pictures of your recent appearance at the airport.

whoopsies.

—

"what if i seal the deal and kiss you on instagram live?" you murmur in mina's hair, cuddling closer to her on the bed than you already are, peering down at her afterwards.

after coming back after your long travel, with a promise of a good home-cooked meal by mina, you went straight to her apartment after the airport.

and now, with your stomach filled with delicious food made by your girlfriend, and said girlfriend in your arms, there is nothing else you could wish for after a tiring oversea schedule.

she's quiet for a moment, her mind actually pondering about your question until she grows shy and hides her face in the crook of your neck. a string of incoherent words is mumbled, with you catching bits and pieces of "small peck," "no make outs," "reciprocate."

"hm? what did you say, mitang? i can't hear you when your face is in my boobs like that—" you teasingly start before she shuts you off with a small bite on your exposed collarbone, making you groan.

"i said small pecks only...and i'd reciprocate..." she looks away again bashfully, lips jutting out as she gets more flustered.

"oh—so you've thought about it, huh, baby?" you smirk at her reaction until you let out a yelp when she slips a cold hand under her your shirt to pinch your side, "ow! okay, okay, okay, no more teasing, promise!"

you squirm as her hand glides to your stomach, newly self-manicured nail tips grazing your skin before they tease at her your shorts' elastic band.

being in a different group than your girlfriend is already hard; trying to find time for each other was even harder.

between comeback preparations, overseas schedules, music show recordings, variety appearances, brand shoots, dance practices that stretch long past midnight, studio recordings, and the exhaustion that settles into your bones, there are weeks when it feels as though the two of you exist in entirely separate worlds despite living in the same city.

your schedules are most likely always conflicting with each other, both of you are either too busy or tired on some days to even text or call.

days when your phone is full of unread messages because you've spent hours of your day filming, when she falls asleep halfway through a call because she was still jetlagged, or when neither of you have the energy to do anything more than send a single heart emoji before passing out.

but you do find ways around it, because when you love someone dearly, you’ll do all it takes to show it.

and that's how you find yourself with most of mina's clothes and things at your place (because she prefers your cozy apartment and that "everything smells like you.")

her clothes have made their home in your closet: shirts, sweaters, hoodies, jeans, sweatpants, to name a few.

even her switch gets left behind sometimes, with her bringing it on some nights where she knows you'll be home late and would pass time on her cute games.

you don't question on why you've been starting to lose some of your favorite oversized hoodies or sweatshirts, because you definitely know where they've been going.

—

the funny thing is that neither of you has done anything that should have started a dating rumor in the first place.

there has been no suspicious interactions caught by dispatch cameras (you both have been very cautious, though it's hard sometimes when mina would subtly tease you in front of your door before you hastily pull her in by the front of your her shirt).

there have been no lingering touches or stares during award shows or crowded stages that fans could possibly slow down in fancams and replay a hundred times over, searching for anything.

or rather, there is supposed to be no shipping between you both, because you've never interacted besides a few dance challenges together. it's impossible and just mere coincidences.

which is exactly why the first few fan posts have been so amusing. none of them related to direct contacts: hidden glances and secretive smiles, long interactions, or solid evidence with grainy photos and ground-breaking headlines.

they are all related to non-direct contacts instead: matching clothes, matching accessories, matching bags, matching nail styles—just matching, matching, matching that neither you or mina picked up on it.

one fan at a fansign had noticed that your nail style matched that of mina from twice, even pulling out his phone to show the exact picture of your girlfriend's bubble update, with the same nail design just in a different color (it's been her recent hobby lately, and you couldn't say no when she whined and pouted for her to do yours, too).

it isn't until you stumble upon a post with a caption that says: [two beloved members from different groups have a lot of matching things...that can only mean one thing in korea! post any pictures or incidents of them matching in the reply!]

the comments are quite skeptical at first, finding the whole ordeal to be a bit too far-fetched, until numerous fans from both fandoms start to reply with their fair share of pictures.

a picture of you wearing brown sambas at the airport, the exact pair that mina had worn a few weeks back at a fansign.

a picture of mina wearing a university hoodie in her instagram live, the exact one fans saw you wearing in one of your group's traveling vlog months ago.

a long thread of an OP saying how she saw the same necklaces worn by both of you when she went to misamo's fan club event and to your post-brand filming, where you signed her album after walking out of the building.

and suddenly, what starts as a harmless joke between two fandoms quickly evolves into an increasingly elaborate speculation and theory that seems to gain a new piece of 'evidence' every day.

the thread of the post becomes longer, adorned with side-by-side pictures of you both, with circles and arrows revealing similar items.

—

the first time mina shows you one of the edits—which was yesterday— the two of you are curled together on the couch of your apartment watching tv, a throw blanket with mini dachshund prints on them (mina's) covering her.

it's one of the rare days where you can have a free night with your girlfriend snuggled up on you—her body sprawls across the length of the couch with her head resting comfortably in your lap, a hand of yours combing through her hair, stopping right at her nape to lightly scratch the area that makes her purr in contentment.

mina checks the notifications on her phone when an ad pops up in the middle of an episiode of a kdrama she's been dying to watch with you, her hand reaching up for yours to bring down to her lips, giving it a kiss.

she snuggles into it as she absentmindedly scrolls, letting out a laugh that you know is gummy and all.

"what got you laughing when the only source that should be making you laugh is right behind you?"

she whines as you pinch her cheek, letting out a huff as she turns on her back to show you her phone screen.

and you laugh, too, because what she shows you is genuinely hilarious.

it was a recent reply under the matching post (mina has gotten in bookmarked and saved for easy access just because she wants to see how far fans could go, but you think she only saved it so she can see you wearing her things).

the caption reads: [they definitely have something going on...because what do you mean you guys have matching bracelets for ldr couples?!] with a picture attached of said items on each of your wrists.

(it was mina's idea, really, to get matching bracelets that would light up and vibrate against your wrist whenever she taps her own, vice versa. and you both don't really wear it often, only for far distances or months of touring do you have it on). it’s truly endearing because your bracelet would always vibrate when you’re miles away from your girlfriend).

you stare at her screen before looking down at her, then back at the post, then at mina again, and suddenly the two of you dissolve into helpless giggles and laughter.

the sound fills the apartment, warm and unrestrained, echoing off the walls as she buries her face against your stomach.

"they're getting warmer, alright. they're technically not wrong..." you snicker in your hand, cheeks starting to hurt from how much you've been laughing.

"they're so funny. if only they could see how my head is in your lap right now. how i’m about to get up and straddle you, instead."

and before you could let her words sink in, she got up from her lying position to throw a leg over your hips, blankets following not too far behind to be around her shoulders, slightly slipping down one side as she leans closer.

"mina, baby, the show—"

"kiss me."

and suddenly you don't remember what you were talking about prior.

—

the ship remains trapped in a strange limbo where people continue to create threads and theories, even catching the attention of popular fan sites from other groups.

you are laying under your covers when mina video calls you. shuffling your fingers out from the warmth, you click on the 'accept' button, screen then showing mina in an oversized sweater that you've been trying to find to pack for your overseas schedule, applying on a face mask.

"hey cute girl with my sweater and a mask on, i've been waiting for your call, your highness."

mina smiles as much as her face mask allows her, growing shy at your words, "you’re so sappy…and your sweater is comfortable…and i miss you…”

“you’re so cute, mitang. i miss you even more! want to kiss you,” you pout into your duvet, eyes becoming crescent moons when mina blows you a kiss.

“actually, i have a very important favor to ask you..." her voice is gentle as she trails off, pouting into the screen (one that she knows you can't say no to, whatever the favor is).

"i'm at your service!"

"i left my switch at your place the other day...could you possibly bring it with you on your trip? i need you to log in to animal crossing and do my daily tasks and gift my villagers."

and you couldn't help but burst out laughing—cackling even, because out of all the favors, you did not expect that one.

because when she's looking at you with that sheepish smile, the mask taken off, revealing her beautiful moles scattered across her angelic face, you couldn't possibly say no to your adorable girlfriend who really cares for her equally adorable villagers.

-

by the time you arrive at the airport, you clutch the pouch with mina's device inside against your side with care.

cameras flash just as you get out of the car, walking towards the entrance with practiced ease—nodding, smiling, waving, listening, chatting.

your hand is still wrapped around mina's crocheted switch bag, even in the airport lounge, to when you're boarding and comfortable in your seat.

when the plane finally takes off, you're blissfully unaware of what's happening on the internet, especially under the maching post of you and mina.

fans are going crazy online, with airport pictures of you holding the bag spreading all over social media.

[isn't that twice's mina crocheted bag for her switch?!]

[this can't be a coincidence anymore!!!!]

[did mina make her one??? or is it the same one???]

reply -> [i mean if mina did make her one, then they're matching...and if it's the same one...then they've been sharing the switch...meaning they've been interacting this whole. damn. time!!!]

[wait i know we've joked about this ship, but i think it's real y'all...]

[guys remember how mina said in her vlog that she never lends her gaming devices to anyone...? tell me i'm not crazy]

another picture was posted, where the pouch had slightly shifted in your hand, just enough for a sticker on the corner of the device to become visible.

[this is it, it's 100% mina's switch]

-

by the time you land at your destination, you take your phone out right away, wanting to notify your girlfriend that you arrived safe and sound.

she replies immediately with a "miss you," along with a link to the saved post, "i think our fans nailed it."

and as you open the link, your eyes widen, seeing the hundreds of comments and pictures of your recent appearance at the airport.

whoopsies.

—

"what if i seal the deal and kiss you on instagram live?" you murmur in mina's hair, cuddling closer to her on the bed than you already are, peering down at her afterwards.

after coming back after your long travel, with a promise of a good home-cooked meal by mina, you went straight to her apartment after the airport.

and now, with your stomach filled with delicious food made by your girlfriend, and said girlfriend in your arms, there is nothing else you could wish for after a tiring oversea schedule.

she's quiet for a moment, her mind actually pondering about your question until she grows shy and hides her face in the crook of your neck. a string of incoherent words is mumbled, with you catching bits and pieces of "small peck," "no make outs," "reciprocate."

"hm? what did you say, mitang? i can't hear you when your face is in my boobs like that—" you teasingly start before she shuts you off with a small bite on your exposed collarbone, making you groan.

"i said small pecks only...and i'd reciprocate..." she looks away again bashfully, lips jutting out as she gets more flustered.

"oh—so you've thought about it, huh, baby?" you smirk at her reaction until you let out a yelp when she slips a cold hand under her your shirt to pinch your side, "ow! okay, okay, okay, no more teasing, promise!"

you squirm as her hand glides to your stomach, newly self-manicured nail tips grazing your skin before they tease at her your shorts' elastic band.

it’s been weeks since you accepted the case. weeks since you’ve started living off mediocre coffee from the coffee machine in the lounge room of the law firm. weeks since you've been cooped up in your office, your coworkers checking in from time to time. and weeks since you’ve found out that your petitioner’s lawyer is park jihyo. stone-cold face, confident aura, and stern eyes, one of the best-known lawyers in south korea at one of the most sought-after law firms in the country, TDOONG.

tension has always sparked between your law firm, TTT, and hers. they both didn’t have the best lawyers for nothing, living up to their missions and values.

you knew jihyo since the start of your law path. going to the same law school, having similar classes together, to graduating the same year (a year earlier than your peers), you two became the youngest lawyers in south korea, exemplary of young, passionate scholars.

you've never really crossed paths to be known as friends, rather distant acquaintances. it wasn't often you had competition, though you wouldn't even call it that. time to time, it was nice to get a rile out of jihyo here and there, the girl too hyper-focused and serious for her own good, that you were constantly left wondering if she has humor in her at all.

you'd also have to honestly admit, park jihyo was is a stunner. her gentle look, yet sharp features, from cheekbones to jawline, one couldn't help but stare and gawk if they were to walk past the park jihyo. posture always straight, muscles taut and defined in ways that greek sculptures were envious (you knew because you saw her at the university's gym almost every day, and no, you didn't lift, opting for something less intimidating, pilates).

and now, as you both are in rival firms, it's easier to get a reaction out of her, no matter how composed she is.

the case you picked up on isn’t anything gruesome; it was more conflicting, heartfelt, and personal…especially personal. it revolves around two parents going through the process of divorce, each is likely to get 50/50 custody of their eight-year-old daughter, hyejoo. but here is where the facts get ugly: the mother got a job offer to vancouver, canada, wanting to take her daughter with her, but the father, an elementary school teacher who is deeply rooted in his community, also wants his daughter to stay back.

it brings back memories of you being in a similar situation as a six-year-old girl holding your father’s hand as your mother steps her foot through the threshold of the door, not even daring to look back. the line she had crossed had created a vast distance between two worlds, one where you’ll never get to be in.

but she chose to leave. whereas hyejoo's mother wants to take her daughter with her.

it stung, to this day. you remembered blaming yourself over it, that you were the reason it all happened in the first place. then you started to get angry. why would your mother leave? why did she choose to leave?

it created a hollow hole in your heart, one where it took years to mend and uphold itself. you were left alone on days when mothers were suppose to come to their children’s classroom. left alone when you gave a speech about your mother in front of the class, but she was already on the other side of the world — as if you were playing the game of telephone, waiting for her reply.

nonetheless, here you are, rereading the case for the umpteenth time. your eyes bore through the thick documents of backgrounds, financial stability, and health. it didn’t help that you were on your eighth cup of coffee in the last hour, being the last one to leave your firm.

tomorrow was the first hearing, and for the first time, you felt nervous to the core. seeing that you won’t be able to focus anymore in your office, you made the decision to pack up and go back to your apartment. perhaps the different setting will allow you to focus more.

having already skipped lunch, skipping dinner would do you no good, especially when you need energy for the next day. you sighed, a big headache was already creeping its way though the crevices as you drove to a nearby convenience store.

upon pushing the door into the store, you falter for a quick second, seeing a rather familiar woman turning to leave.

“park,” you nod in acknowledgement.

the woman’s eyes scan up from her phone, gaze as always, piercing and sharp.

“l/n. a pleasure meeting you here.” jihyo nods back at you before walking past you to leave.

“let’s not act as if we’re strangers, jihyo. our confinement in court will not allow such.”

your comment makes jihyo turn around, a small scowl forming on her face. “let’s worry about our own side, hm?”

and gone she was before you could push out a reply. your headache is now pounding against the walls of your head, seeking for breakage.

—

the atmosphere being tense would be an understatement. the air was suffocating, people shifting around in their seats, the chairs creaking every once in a while. there were more people here than usual; it was a rare occurrence to see TDOONG’s and TTT’s lawyers in the same room. rivalry felt more like bloodshed than just mere competition over who’s better.

your client sits next to you, his right leg shaking with anxiety, hands folded in his lap, with his thumb rubbing over each other for comfort. his ring finger, although without the ring, still had a tan line, a faint indentation still visible from years of wearing it. the mark serves as a reminder of what was, what is, and what never will be.

across from you, jihyo was dressed in a black tailored suit, hair tied back with not one loose strand in sight. she looked polished from head to toe, standing at the opposing table as if she were born there.

after the initial swearing in of the jury and announcement: jihyo for the petitioner, you for the respondent, the trial began.

jihyo steps forward.

"your honor. my client, kim sejoo, has received a phenomenal job offer in vancouver, canada, with pay twice higher than what she is making now. the relocation with her daughter will substantially allow her to take care of herself and her child. educational opportunities for kim hyejoo will not be scarce, as well as long-term financial stability. my client proposes summer and holiday breaks of hyejoo at her father's."

professional. efficient. straight-to-the-point. jihyo's gaze shifts between her client and yours, but never at you directly.

the judge nods his head towards you.

"your honor. the child is young and still in elementary school. my client, kim daeseok, has worked at the school for years. their relationship is a close father-and-daughter bond; not something occasional, but daily. relocation would be devastating, not only for the father, but for hyejoo as well."

jihyo's voice remains steady, calm, as she counters, "with respect, geography is not the only factor that determines stability. the mother is not seeking to cut off contact. she is seeking to improve her child's future." finally looking over at you, her eyes pierce through, unwavering.

"by removing her from everything she knows? stability isn't only financial. children do not measure love in salary brackets."

you saw her hand twitch slightly on the pen she was holding. the movement was so small that one could've missed it, but not you.

jackpot.

"it serves her future," voice cool, hitting all the surfaces of the room, "broader opportunities. her mother would do much better than struggling here."

you lean forward slightly. "and what about hyejoo's present? the school she loves? the peers she'd made? the atmosphere, the culture, and the community she's grown up in?"

even from a distance, you can see jihyo's jaw tightening, but her voice continues to stay even as she responds, "children adapt."

tension can be felt trying to push through the barriers that it's been bound in, where it's been building up, overflowing; a dam ready for its collapse.

absurd, you thought. your mind flashes back to the little girl crying her eyes out, not truly understanding the situation she was placed in. spending time with her dad on mother's day, presenting a poem for mothers when hers wasn't even in the crowd, drawing pictures of just her and her dad, the place where her mother was supposed to be — used to be —was left blank. the negative space taking up so much of the space, the whiteness so blinding, she felt compelled to add something just to stop the brightness. in the end, she just left it blank, just like how her mother chose to leave her.

children don't adapt.

"children endure." a clean cut. no sharpening tools were needed to be present to know how sharp and precise the cut was.

the dam broke, water rushing uncontrollably, and it's taking you with it.

the judge calls for a brief recess.

—

you let out a loud exhale as you make your way to the vending machine, desperately needing something to calm the strong currents in your mind. as you bend down to reach for the drink, you hear heels taking swift steps, louder as they get nearer. before getting the chance to look over, you hear her voice.

"you argued like sejoo is abandoning her daughter." arms rested at her sides, but you can tell she's fighting the urge to cross them.

"no hi, hello, how are you? i thought better of you, park." you huff out. jihyo doesn't answer you. rather, she stands, waiting for you to reply to her prior statement. what a stubborn woman. she isn't as easy to get a pick at as she used to. you realized that now, she had changed, too.

you sigh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose. "look, i see where you and your client are coming from, but you've got to understand about my client's circumstances, too. he loves hyejoo just as much as sejoo loves her. but he's trying to stay, while she's ready to scoop up her daughter to the other side of the world...it's not fair. calls do not replace presence."

jihyo stares at you, arms giving up on its side, now crossing, fingers tapping impatiently.

"you take these personally, l/n?"

you stare back at her, just as intently.

"only when they matter."

she watches you a second longer than needed before glancing at her watch and turning back towards the courtroom.

—

people shuffle back in, anticipation at the tip, ready to pierce the iceberg.

the back and forth continues, both of you waiting for the other to break.

from the corner of your eyes, you can see daeseok's hands trembling, fingers lightly scratching at the line on his ring finger, his teeth gnawing his lower lip, picking at the dry skin.

"my client simply refuses to become a visitor in his daughter's life."

the refute comes in just as easily, "and my client refuses to stagnate because her ex-husband is comfortable."

you can see jihyo taking a small breath in before proceeding, "your honor, we ask that the court preserve the status quo pending a full evidentiary hearing."

silence hits the room once again. arrangements of papers can be heard from the judge shuffling through them. he looks over his glasses before clearing his throat,

"the court will maintain the current 50/50 arrangement. the child shall not be removed from the jurisdiction until further hearings. mediation is ordered. an evidentiary hearing will be set for december 3rd."

the gavel strikes down, deafening. you peer over at jihyo, who happens to look right back at you, once again, with that stern look on her face.

—

you gather yourself up from your side of the table, piling up folders of documents and notes. briefly discussing the next steps, you shook hands with your client before he had to excuse himself for a school meeting.

loosening your tie and unbuttoning your blazer, your eyes can't help but wander to jihyo's side. she's still talking to her client, one of her hands placed on the mother's shoulder, most likely offering comfort.

you could tell: jihyo was here to win, to conquer, to live up to the name that TDOONG holds itself. and nothing was going to stop that.

finally averting your gaze, you swiftly pack up the rest of your materials into your briefcase and put on your coat. the air is lighter outside than in the courtroom, as if you finally emerged from the water that was drowning you earlier.

taking out your phone from your pocket, you turned off do not disturb for the time being, checking the notifications you've missed. you absentmindedly scroll through the work emails, huffing out a small laugh at the work group chat — one of your coworkers, sana, accidentally sent a message to the wrong group, and mina reprimanding her in the process saying how it is unprofessional (though, it doesn't really matter since you're all great colleagues and friends outside of work, anyway. mina's just doing it for the sake of a reminder, just in case this happens in a professional setting, but not of malice otherwise).

however, after getting through most of it, your thumb hovers over a specific notification, or rather, a chain of notifications in your messages. multiple text messages from an unknown number were sent:

unknown number:

hey, y/n.

unknown number:

it's mom.

i know you have many questions on why i'm reaching out to you or how i know your number.

unknown number:

i am back in seoul for a little while. if you could give me a chance of your time, even just for a little bit, i would love to have a chat with you over coffee.

let me know.

you dropped your phone in disbelief. what the hell? a time zone difference, a stretch of vast oceans, an abstract concept, a blank space on white paper. a mere memory hard to forget. your turmoil starts to build up. god, you desperately need a break.

before even having time to compose yourself and pick up your phone, ready to reread those messages, hoping your eyes are not deceiving you from having your head in piles of papers for so long, you hear the same clack of heels right behind you.

a slight whiff of the cinnamon citrus perfume has you knowing that it is no other than park jihyo.

you don't realize you've stopped breathing until —

"l/n." you close your eyes for a brief second, emotions overexhausted as your throat feels like it's constricting itself.

breathe. breathe. breathe.

exhaling shakily, you bend down to pick up your phone from the ground and turn around to face jihyo.

jihyo stands a few steps behind you, still looking as pristine as when you first saw her in the courtroom. though now, you can see the faint lines of eye bags under the light. she looks much softer than before, her shoulders slightly drooping and more relaxed, tired.

"you forgot this." in her hand was your pen, a specialized one with your name engraved on it, a gift from mina for your two-year anniversary at the law firm.

reaching out to grab it, you try your best to keep your hand from shaking, "thank you. i owe you one." however, from the light furrow of her brows, you knew she saw.

"are you alright?"

"i'm fine," you answer a bit too fast, making jihyo inhale sharply, "you know, just the seoul weather creeping up. it's a bit chillier than i expected," you lightly force out a laugh.

her eyes roam around your faces, not intimately nor deeply, but enough to have you shrink back, suddenly feeling vulnerable under the lampposts adorning the front of the courthouse.

"will this affect mediation?" of course, it's not park jihyo if it doesn't involve work.

"no, it will not," your jaw tightens involuntarily. you realized she saw through it all.

" i'd appreciate a copy of any supplemental affidavits you intend to file prior to mediation," she continues, eyes narrowing, "everyone's time is wasted on ambush tactics."

you scoff lightly, "you don't give me enough credit, park. i prefer winning cleanly."

another notification comes through in the midst of it all. lifting your phone to get a preview, the light cutting through:

unknown number:

i know i hurt you. you can ignore this if you wish to.

your vision blurs for a second, your ears start to ring, until you realize you can't break down right now, especially not in front of jihyo.

"l/n," her voice comes through, gentler this time, "you're shaking."

you hadn't noticed. too busy focusing on too many things at once.

straightening up immediately, slipping your phone in your coat pocket.

"it's nothing. i'm fine."

"that wasn't a question."

"jihyo-" irritation starts creeping up. your defensive instinct kicks in, "you don't need to interrogate me outside of the courtroom, too. what happened to worrying about our own side?"

"i don't want you to bring whatever this is into mediation. i have eyes, i'm not blind. i can tell this case is draining you..." she pauses for a quick second, "...personally. i need you present and clear, y/n."

you realized now that you weren't attacking her client or protecting yours. rather, you've been protecting a version of yourself that you've long hidden away, suppressed.

your gaze softens. her voice grounded you as the breeze picked up, blowing her hair lightly, and for once, she was not only polished but infuriatingly beautiful.

"finally calling me by my first name, park?"

if it wasn't for the light shining down directly on her face, you would've missed the slight blush creeping up on her cheeks.

you giggle as she tries to blubber out an answer, finally seeing a side you've rarely seen her adorning in: relaxed, calm, and lost for words. confidence wavering, fingers gripping her coat sleeves, a total 180 from when you both were in the courtroom.

saving her from further embarrassment, you ask, "coffee? for bringing my pen to me. and no, not coffee here, perhaps a cafe."

her eyes widen in surprise, looking at her watch on her wrist before looking back at you, "yeah, coffee sounds good," exhaling softly.

"not bad, park. i'd thought you'd decline," smiling satisfactorily, you walk off. without glancing back, you continued over your shoulder, "i'll text you the address. i'm sure you still have my contacts saved, yeah?"

"n-no, i do not!" hearing jihyo walk the opposite direction to her car answers your question, making you laugh out loud.

you can’t fix something that was never broken, just something that stopped existing.

that's right. your mother stopped existing in your world. and the only way to keep it whole is to leave it that way.

—

the evidentiary hearing happened a few weeks later. park jihyo as calculated as ever. firm. steadfast, and charming. her questions were concise and succinct, with not one falter in sight.

however, at one point near the closing of the hearing, jihyo saw it. your emotions were piling up from their existence, like a volcano—a rendezvous leading to unmitigated friction, collision, and then an eruption.

the ruling of the verdict came two weeks later.

the judge began, "the court finds that both parents have demonstrated deep commitment to the child," a pause, "however, the court concludes that the relocation request is made in good faith and offers significant financial opportunity after reviewing the evidence presented."

you inhaled, already knew what was coming next.

"the petition to relocate is granted."

from your peripheral, you can feel the father exhaling raggedly next to you. across, you see visibly see the mother's shoulders relaxing in relief.

the judge proceeded with the order, outlining extended summer visitation rights for the father, alternating holiday arrangements — travel expenses to be shared, and daily video contact between the child and the father.

once the hearing ended, you shook hands with your client and arranged a time for further information on moving forward with the relocation.

upon packing up, you sense her presence before you could even look up,

"you argued well, l/n."

"likewise, park." making eye contact with her, you can see that she was deep in thought.

"coffee? my treat this time."

you smile, nodding your head.

you've come to terms that park jihyo is not just a stubborn woman, but also free, bold, and a bit mischievous.

—

you also learn that yes, park jihyo is in fact humorous, way more than you expected. your conversations flow easily, from work, to family, to your own past.

too easily that irregular coffee ask becomes weekly, to soon becoming dinners.

until now, barely getting used to the darkness of jihyo's flat, before you find yourself pushed against the front door by toned arms, hungry lips finding yours like a tsunami, rushing and pushing. her lips start descending down to your neck — biting, sucking, licking, soothing — while her fingers start unbuttoning your work blazer, then your work blouse.

"fuck—! j-jihyo! not there, i— got a case in t-two days."

"you have a beautiful woman on you right now, who's about to give you the best orgasm of your life, and you're worried about some damn case right now?" jihyo growls. the noise sends a shock down your spine straight to your core, ruining your panties.

you hated losing, especially when it comes to jihyo.

"i'm going to give you the best orgasm of your life." jihyo whimpers at your voice, her mouth gravitates back towards your neck as if it's meant to be there. "let me. you did win the case between us after all. treat it as an award from me to you, yea?"

you both shuffle into the bedroom, a trail of clothes left behind like a quiet confession in its wake.

jihyo lands first on the bed with you between her legs, her elbows holding her up, one of her hands coming up to comb her hair back.

"show me what you got, l/n," licking her lips afterwards.

saying nothing, you dive in for a kiss — wet and dirty — teeth clashing, tongues exploring all the ridges and linings.

jihyo lets out a loud gasp when her bra gets discarded easily, the cool air hitting her chest instantly. your hands start grabbing and pinching each nipple. moving your head down to her neck, you start nipping, biting down harshly at one of her pulse points, eliciting a loud whine.

"you're already so sensitive, and all i've done is touch you."

"s-shut up!"

you take one of her nipples in your mouth, while one of your hands occupies the other, index and thumb pinching, pulling, and rolling, the other faintly scratching her abs. you enjoy all the noises that come out of jihyo, knowing you're the only one who can make her like this.

leaning back with an audible pop, you smirk down at jihyo: unprofessional, messy, disheveled, and incredibly wet, if the dark, wet patch on her underwear is anything to go by.

finally going towards where she wants you, you take the hem of her panties between your teeth and pull downwards, all while she stares right back at you, eyes half-lidded, chest heaving heavily.

successfully removing the last piece of clothing, you can't help but stare, mouth watering at the sight.

"s-stop staring-" her voice cuts off with a sharp inhale. your right hand trails lightly from her knee to her inner thigh, to finally touch her cunt, index and middle fingers lazily sliding up and down, mesmerized by the sight.

"and stop t-teasing—fuck!" a loud whine rips through as you push in a finger without warning. her folds enveloping you easily, as if she were a mold made perfectly for you.

"you're so fucking loud and whiny, hyo. you don't want to wake up your neighbors now, do you?" your finger slowly roams around, exploring, rubbing, feeling the bumps and ridges.

"f-fuck you!"

you laugh lowly, "i am, pretty. fucking you, i mean," you add another finger, hearing another loud moan, her eyes glued shut, hands pulling the sheets tightly towards her. you take your time, pulling your fingers out slowly before pushing them back in quickly, the squelching sound embarrassingly echoes. a particular hard thrust right at the spot makes her wail.

"tsk, do you want everyone to hear how improper you are? just. so. improper. and. tight." each word punctuated with a thrust. your free hand goes to her clit, thumb rubbing circles carelessly, earning another moan that you happily drown in.

"all for me right, hyo?" fingers pushing deep and up towards that one spot repeatedly, having already know what makes park jihyo break.

"mm," jihyo tries, "a-all, shit—all for you! only you, fuck!" you smirk proudly, adding another finger into the mess, as well as more pressure on her clit. the slippery mess spreads all over her inner thighs, dripping gorgeously onto your wrist.

"please, 'm close." you feel her clenching tightly with every thrust. leaning down, you leave sloppily wet kisses at every expanse of her skin, smooth and free, all for you to mark. nosing your way up to her ear, you bit down before rasping out,

"come for me, pretty girl." a whimper turn moan breaks through, loud and throaty, enough for you to know that her neighbors will, in fact, come knocking at the door tomorrow. jihyo shudders against you as you help her ride out her orgasm, fingers still pushing in and out. the wetness pools on the sheet, surely spreading everywhere. what a pretty mess.

feeling jihyo squirm a bit, you pull out gently, earning a whimper.

shamelessly wiping your hands on the sheets, you give her temple a kiss, before moving down for a deep kiss, less teeth and tongue, more feelings and passion. you pull away slowly, a string of spit trailing between both of you. you stutter for a second, seeing a dangerous glint in jihyo's eyes.

"think you can refute that, hyo? what happened to that running mouth of yours, baby?" looking down at her, breathlessly beautiful and sprawled out for you. you slowly sink closer again, lightly kissing parts of her throat that you know have her gasping.

when jihyo finally recovers, she husks out the words that got her feeling your moan against her neck before hearing it,

—

the light turns red, you slow down smoothly. the glow from the traffic light illuminates mina’s face with a red glow. you turn to catch a glimpse of her.

she catches you glancing over and raises a brow, you smile playfully and turn back to watch the cars pass.

“why do you do that?” she asks you, rolling her eyes. “you’re so weird.”

“don’t say that, i’m amazing.”

mina shakes her head and turns to face the passengers window, hiding her smile from you. the music in the car continues to play, you giggle, and the light turns green again. you gradually press down on the pedal.

you and mina have been friends for 8 years and counting, luckily you both ended up at the same university—which meant no long-distance friendship and no problems.

(well— there was one problem, one that kept the two of you up at night: the mutual attraction the two of you had for each other.)

(but both of you choose to ignore that in order to keep yourselves sane.)

(it doesn’t keep any of you sane.)

mina was someone you could be completely transparent with, and despite how stupid or unhinged you’ve been, she’s stuck by your side throughout the years. and speaking of which, throughout the years she’s only gotten prettier, and she’s been undeniably beautiful. she matured physically and mentally, the physical aspect unquestionably catching your eye more. years pass and her features are sharper, yet as elegant as ever. more eye candy for you, and more excuses such as: “i was zoning out” to repeat after getting caught staring. both of you had a staring problem.

“and~ we’re home.” you beam, watching mina unbuckle the seatbelt. “give me your bag, you must be tired.”

mina hands you her small shoulder bag and smiles at you, you return the smile. she gets out your car and stretches her arms out, sighing as she does so.

the night breeze hits you in the face hectically, but it passes through mina’s hair in a way that reminds you of some commercial, with her as the conspicuous model.

the two of you walk over to the entrance of your apartment complex, then up the stairs. you follow mina up as she walks to the third floor, and you feel a little bad since her legs must hurt.

once you get to your shared apartment, mina reaches inside the pocket of her jacket for the keys, then pulls them out and starts to unlock the door. she turns the lock to the right once and pushes the door open, turning on the light as soon as she steps inside.

mina plops on the couch and you giggle, smiling at your best friend and roommate. you plop down next to her and she puts her feet on your lap, sinking into the cushions deeper.

“shift must’ve been rough, huh?” you ask, watching her nod in response. she closes her eyes and turns to the side, sighing.

“i have a test tomorrow too.”

“seriously? on what?”

“physics.” she groans, then sits up. “i figured majoring in architecture would be less grueling. i was wrong. so wrong.”

“you set yourself up for more of that.” you tease, tapping her shoulder and urging her to turn around. “let me ease the tension, then you can rest a bit and study a bit. it’s only 5:50.”

she hums and turns around; you place your hands on her shoulders and begin to work at the stiff muscles with your nimble fingers. she gasps at the sudden contact, shrugging then easing into your touch. mina lets out a variety of sighs and groans here and there, but otherwise stays pretty inaudible the rest of the time. she leans away from you after she’s had enough, rolling her shoulders back and then cracking her neck.

"thank you y/n, for everything.”

you can’t help but chuckle after hearing her words of gratitude. she sounded so serious and sincere, which caught you off guard. you stand up and intertwine your own fingers together, stretching them up and behind your back a bit.

“i just drove you back from work and massaged you, that’s what friends are for. no need to be to sentimental minari.”

she rolls her eyes and scoffs at your teasing tone, “oh so i guess i’ll just quit showing my gratitude.”

“hey i didn’t mean—”

a pillow is thrown at your stomach before mina starts giggling, showing her gums and all as she beams; just how you adore. you throw the pillow back at her and she catches it with her hands, then stands up and sets it down on the couch.

“okay now go study, can’t be wasting your tuition on a failed physics grade.”

“i don’t want to hear that from you y/n. didn’t you get a 67 on that anatomy module?”

“hey!” you raise your hands up in defense, “i passed, that’s all that matters.”

“yeah, whatever. i’m going, thanks again.” mina mumbles, grabbing her bag and walking over to her room.

she smiles as soon as she enters her room, then laughs to herself. she sighs dreamily, something out of a romcom.

--

“so the both of you aren’t actually togeth—”

“no.” mina dismisses momo immediately. momo looks at you whilst you talk with the girl you met in your kinesiology class, the girl that’s a little too touchy and flirty for mina’s liking. “she’s occupied anyway, always talking with any girl that’s in her line of sight.” mina scoffs.

“oh, so you’re jealous?” momo laughs, grinning at mina.

the younger woman shoves the older one in the shoulder, rolling her eyes. “no. she’s just taking her sweet time when we need to be somewhere.”

you’re smiling, you’re laughing, and she is doing the same. her hands are resting on your chest every now and then and she’s also giving you heart eyes. of course, you’re too oblivious to realize – just how you always are with girls like that – mina hates it.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, you finish talking to the girl, make an excuse that you have to leave, and check your phone. you look up and mina is talking to momo, and then you walk over — no, rush over and almost trip in the middle of the lobby — and apologize for being a couple of minutes late. mina grimaces and momo gives you a toothy smile.

“let’s go, we need to pick up sana too—right?” you ask, mina simply nods, no small smile or anything before she turns away.

she starts walking out the doors first and you frown at the sudden moodiness from her. you know mina well, well enough to know when she’s having her mood swings and feeling down. you learned to be attentive at a young age, and mainly — only — for her.

you look over to momo and she shrugs, then suggests, “maybe if you weren’t so late.”

“it was six minutes.”

“maybe it’s more than the time then.”

“momo—” you’re unable to finish your sentence because now she’s the one turning around and following mina’s path. your shoulders sink and you frown again. your legs carry you out the doors to follow the two women despite the sinking feeling in your heart.

mina is standing beside the passenger door waiting for you to unlock your car, and momo is on her phone leaning against the door to the backseat. you click the button on your keys, your car makes that clicking noise and lights up, then mina and momo get inside at the same time.

you get into the drivers seat and turn on your engine, then face mina to ask, “want the aux?” then she hums in response, plugging her phone in. momo observes from the back seat; the way you clench your teeth subtly, mina’s hesitance, the way your hand grips the steering wheel tighter than usual, mina’s body turning away from yours.

sana is in the car ten minutes later and immediately, the tension starts to die down.

“i’m so hungry…” sana sighs, linking her arm with momo’s.

you laugh and assure her, “i’ll drive quick, i think everyone is as hungry as you.” mina smiles and you catch it from the corner of your eye; you grin sheepishly..

it’s silent for the most part other than sana starting all the conversations and everyone responding. then, halfway through the car ride, sana beams and mentions: “hey, sebastian is throwing a house party, everyones going to be there you know.”

“…and?” you hum, eyes on the road.

“we should go!”

“sana,” mina begins, “you know i’m not a party person.”

sana pouts. “come on~ that chaeyoung girl you’ve been all flirty with is going to be there. maybe you can hit it off with her.”

the light turns red and you hit the brakes – not so smoothly – and quirk a brow at mina. you’ve been able to hit it off with some girls on campus, hooking up with them and whatnot, but the mention of mina talking to someone – which, you’re been completely unaware of – strikes a nerve in you for some reason. she’s not yours, you’re not hers, yet there’s a sick feeling in your stomach.

“you’re— you’re talking to someone?” the uneasy atmosphere makes its comeback as soon as the question slips past your lips, and mina shrinks in her seat. “you never told me that.”

“you never tell me about all the girls you talk to, i can’t talk to one?” mina says, her tone vicious.

“i- no, i just, i thought you would’ve told me about something like that.” you look at her apologetically, she doesn’t bat an eye at you. “i didn’t mean that, mina.’

sana and momo glance at each other in the backseats; momo shrugs, sana raises her brows, and then sana decides to clear the air.

“so, let’s go as a group?” she insists, and you can only hum as you pull into the parking spot near the café.

momo decides to find seats for the four of you and you thank her before grabbing mina’s wrist and dragging her to the bathroom. sana and momo watch, both as surprised as mina.

it’s a single person restroom, and you close the door behind you harshly before backing mina against the sink. you’re only an inch or two taller, nothing too significant, but somehow it feels like you’re towering her completely.

she looks into your eyes, you look into hers tenderly; mina surrenders and breaks the eye contact.

“what’s going on mina?”

“i’m sorry, it’s nothing.”

“it’s clearly something.” you murmur, curious and confused. “please, you can tell me anything.”

without thinking, you cup her face. your hands are warm, they’ve always been warm and mina’s have always been on the colder end. mina feels her heart shatter and pound against her chest at the same time, her cheeks flush but her lips twitch into a frown.

hesitant to give into your touch, she shudders away subtly. “it’s nothing, i’m just, you know—“

“mood swings?” you ask, moving your hand to her shoulder and rubbing your thumb against the material that covers it. mina leans in to your touch this time and nods, looking back at you. “i’m sorry for, sounding so… i don’t know, angry. it’s not my business, and if you’re talking to someone…” you gulp down your feelings and decide on what anyone would say. “then i hope they make you happy and whatnot, it’s not my business. i shouldn’t have pushed it.”

“no,” mina mumbles. you turn your head, confused. “i think i’ve been a bit distant recently, i haven’t been as open.”

“hey don’t say that, i guess the stress is killing both of us.”

“i’m sorry again.” mina sighs.

“it’s okay, i love you always, no matter what.”

“and how do you?” mina questions, tensing up at the feeling of your thumb rubbing against her shoulder now. you slide your hand down to her forearm subconsciously, pausing your actions.

“what? mina, you know i love you. we’ve been friends since like, forever. i’m just saying i’m always here if you need me.”

friends.

“okay, yeah thanks.” mina rushes her response out, then recomposes herself. she grabs your wrist briefly before letting go, then opens the door. “i’m hungry, hurry up.”

“yeah yeah, whatever.”

--

mina’s normal for the rest of the week and there are no complications or mood swings for the most part. the two of you are pretty busy anyway, no time for arguments when your professors are up your asses.

there’s those moments of solitude with your roommate that bring you some peace of mind here and there, which makes it harder to push down the trivial feelings you have for mina. like that one time mina helped you out with dinner, pushing you to the side with her hand on your waist. yeah, that one had your heart racing.

other than a near heart attack and some domestic and weirdly intimate alone time with mina, there hasn’t been any tension or bickering since that car ride. things seem good and you’re happy with that.

sana reminds you of the party the day of, it reminds you of what had happened in the car. you’re reminded of mina’s ‘talking stage’ and it bothers you more than you’d like to admit, but there’s nothing to worry about since mina isn’t the biggest partygoer. she’d probably be cooped up in her room playing games while you drank more than you intended to again, just like always.

tonight was an exception.

you’re leaning against the counter in your baggy jeans and the fit t-shirt where the sleeve cuts off just above your bicep – the shirt that makes your arms look good and shows your tattoos better – and sana is texting the group chat saying she’ll be there in five. you wait patiently and pass the time by mindlessly scrolling.

what you don’t expect is to see mina emerging from the hall looking effortlessly beautiful like she always does. she meets your gaze then drops it to your own body, quickly returning back to the shared eye contact. there’s something in the way she holds herself up that’s keeping your look on her for a moment longer, afraid to look away just in case you’ll miss something.

she’s fucking stunning, no doubt about that. a cropped, white top hugs her figure perfectly and shows a good amount of her defined abdomen, the light shines in a way that highlights her grooves. she has that naturally striking body, the one that girls envy or swoon over, and the ones that guys eye not so subtly in public, much to your dismay. she’s also wearing some light makeup — a rosy sunset lightly decorating the outside of her eyes and a darker shade of red painted on her lips — and even without it your jaw would be on the floor. her wavy hair falls loosely around her and her bangs are tousled – different than her usual well kept look – it all captivates you. mina’s fucking hot, no doubt about that.

your eyes do a lot of the talking, they run up and down her body, down to the curve of her hips that are covered by her low-rise boyfriend jeans. mina’s inching closer and you recompose yourself, try not to eye fuck your roommate too hard.

“you’re going to the party? thought you weren’t a party person.”

“i don’t have anything better to do.”

“not going to stay and play games? that’s new.”

she scoffs, then crosses your arms and it makes you realize that you’ve been looking at her exposed tummy again. you make eye contact with her again. mina raises her brows, then responds with a hint of test in her tone, “do you not want me to go? sounds a lot like it.”

not when you look like that. you should only look like that for me, you think, and you want to respond with that thought. but you hold yourself back and decide to laugh it off, masking your odd jealously that looms.

you clear your throat, then respond, “no, just curious. we should take my car over then, just in case you want to leave early.”

“yeah, okay.” mina says, suspicious of your sudden change in mood. “let sana know then, and don’t drink too much, or really anything since you’re driving.”

“you know i’m a heavy weight. three shots and i’m still walking straight, functioning, and able to have fun. don’t worry about me.” you wave your hand and grab your phone. “i’ll ring up sana.” you say, then motion for her to leave the house with you.

-

the walk to the house is not too long, but unfortunately you were too late to bag a spot in the astonishingly large drive way. it was already filled with seven cars, all different brands besides the two honda civics that are next to each other, one red and one black. how generic, and probably driven by men who’d try to hit on you and your friends later.

there’s a fence to the backyard and you easily lift up the metal that prevents the door from opening. you push the door open and mina slides in through the gap, then you slip through and lock it again.

the music was already noticeable before the two of you had actually made it on the property, but now it’s much louder and disturbingly raucous. but that’s just how parties are. there’s a good amount of people in the spacious back yard, maybe fifteen or more – give or take – some are talking in a group with bottles of beer in their hands, two people makeout against the tree in the right corner, and others are cackling while some shirtless guy with a buzzcut and shotguns a can of cheap alcohol. nothing too surpassingly other than the size of the house and yard, pretty normal for everything that’s unfolding.

you lean down a bit to bring your lips to mina’s ear, making sure your voice is heard over the drake that’s playing at a volume that’s surely going to bring noise complaints.

“you okay?” you ask loudly, almost a shout. mina nods, then turns over, her face only inches away from yours. you look down at her lips, and back up to peer into her dark eyes. “we should go inside.” you suggest, mina nods once more.

compared to outside, the house held a lot more people. the kitchen was filled with people getting refills of sodas alcohol, and maybe one or two people ended up with water in their cups — though only those few — the rest of the bunch that crowded the house were either tipsy or drunk out of their minds.

“i think i’m gonna grab a beer or something, text me if you need anything – actually, just call me.”

mina wants to cling onto you the whole night and if anything, she only came in hopes of making you jealous. but here you are, actually indulging in whatever the hell is going on around the two of you. she feels sick to her stomach when she sees you wave goodbye, and prays that you won’t end up like those two girls in the corner of her eye that are eating each others mouths. at least not with anyone but her. fuck.

“hey, it’s you.” mina feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to face the girl she met in her design class. “i didn’t know you were a party person, didn’t strike me as the type.”

chaeyoung is also wearing a crop top, revealing the various tattoos that decorate her skin. mina liked the tattoos, but all she could think about was the ones you had on your own skin, the ones mina always found herself staring at. her dark hair is messy, yet it suits the younger woman, so does her whole outfit: some crop top and paint splattered jeans.

“you here with anyone?” chaeyoung asks, then takes a sip from her can of beer, mina thinks it’s the rocket pop based on the colors.

“no, you?”

“nah, i came here with a friend though. i think she’s out flirting now though.”

“yeah, i came with a friend too. she’s probably doing the same too.”

“you don’t sound too happy about that.” chaeyoung says, observing the faint disappointment that spreads across mina’s features. “wanna get a drink?”

mina hesitates, then nods. chaeyoung smiles and grabs mina’s hand, leading her to a fridge in the kitchen.

“oh, and by the way,” the younger woman starts, turning to mina. “you look good.”

“thanks.” mina responds.

it’s not that mina doesn’t enjoy chaeyoung’s company, if anything she’s actually really intrigued with her little anecdotes and cute little rambles. mina likes the way chaeyoung giggles with her over some small thing, and mina doesn’t necessarily hate how chaeyoung leans closer to her, the skin-to-skin contact isn’t anything that bothers her. mina simply can’t feel anything for chaeyoung, and it frustrates her because one: chaeyoung is pretty, quite nice on the eyes. that’s something mina can’t deny. two: she’s attentive and sweet, mina know’s this from the times she’s interacted with her before this headache of a party.

she’s just not you.

“you okay?” chaeyoung asks, rubbing her thumb on mina’s hand.

“yeah, i just, um— i need another drink.”

“you’ve had two cans already, and you seem all hazy. you sure you can take it?”

“it’s fine, i’m fine. yes, yeah.”

“okay… careful then. let me go with you.”

“no.” mina says almost immediately, then pauses. “i mean, um, i can go myself. sorry.”

chaeyoung nods, letting go of mina’s hand. “i’ll see you around mina, hope we run into each other again. i liked talking to you.”

“me too, i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.”

mina leaves chaeyoung on the couch alone, finding her way through the crowd and towards the kitchen to grab something stronger. she does in fact find something stronger in the fridge: some bottle of (most likely) cheap vodka. mina fucking hates vodka, but she also fucking hates that you’ve been plaguing her mind all night. so, mina grabs some small, plastic shot glass and pours herself a quick remedy to her growing disturbance. she shoots her head back and winces, groaning at the stinging taste of it dying down in her throat.

to make matters worse, you only plague her mind further. and to make it even worse (yet again), she catches you in the corner of her eye.

the girl from that day she got mad at you stands awfully close, putting her hand on your chest as she laughs. you only smile and laugh with her, not really paying attention to anything else.

this is the closest you’ve been to the girl, courtney was her name. she’s in your anatomy and has a similar hairstyle to mina, though mina’s looks ten times better. her eyes shine as she looks at you, well, mostly your lips. she smiles and slides her hand around your neck.

“you know, i’ve always thought you were pretty.” she says, “how about we find a spot to be alone?”

“oh,” you say, features shifting into one of confusion. “courtney i don’t— i thought we were just having fun…?”

“don’t be stupid baby,” you wince at the petname, it doesn’t sound right coming from her. she twirls your hair around, it irks you, you definitely don’t like it. “we can have fun if we find a place with a door that has a lock.” and all you can do is laugh awkwardly.

“courtney i don’t—” you look past courtney and towards the familiar girl in the kitchen, making direct eye contact with her and freezing as soon as you realize just who you’re looking at.

mina huffs, frowning at you disappointedly. she shouldn’t be disappointed, but she is.

if only that were her, she thinks.

she bites back a tear, clenching her teeth and shaking her head – which somehow makes her more uneasy than she already is – and starts to walk away. she doesn’t know where she’s going, just as long as it’s less overwhelming and there’s no sight of you with someone that isn’t her.

“shit,” you mumble, and then courtney desperately tries to postpone your departure with small talk, but it’s no use. you speed through the crowd and bump into various bodies as you try to keep mina in your vision, pushing anyone in your way just to find her.

you watch her turn into the hallway and manage to make it to that turn only two seconds later, but by the time you get there she’s already stepping into some room and closing the door. a curse slips from your breath as you run towards the same door a second after it had closed, hitting your fist against it in defeat.

“mina!” you shout – no response. “fuck, mina, please.”

you lean your forehead against it, flattening your hands against the door before you bang on it again.

“please? please mina, i know something is up.”

“go entertain yourself with whoever you were with earlier.” and what the fuck did that mean? you didn’t know. could mina mean courtney? you didn’t want her like that, mina can’t possibly be bothered by her – and, if she were, that wouldn’t make sense. courtney is just a friend, if anything, you wanted mina in her place.

“what does that mean? mina you’re being so—” she cuts you off, opening the door. she’s got that flush, the same one that she did when she lost to sana in that one drinking game a few months back. mina’s not sober, meaning she’s ten times more vulnerable and even moodier, but why? hell, you never know.

“weren’t you enjoying that? that girl, she’s all up on you so why do you run after me.”

“courtney? mina you’re being irrational, she’s just a classmate, a friend i guess. i don’t want her like that.”

“we’re friends and you never look at me like that,” she says, voice being muffled by the music playing in the house. “why don’t you smile at me like that?”

you step inside and close the door, now it’s just you and mina, alone.

“mina what are you saying? i smile at you all the time. are you pissed over a smile?”

“you’re so dense.”

“well i don’t know what the fuck is wrong if you’re not going to fucking tell me mina.” maybe that was harsh, considering the fact that she’s most definitely drunk, but you’re also irritated because she’s been tip toeing around the things that have been pissing her off. “you always tell me what’s bothering you and about your mood swings, but what’s been going on recently? you’ve been so, i don’t know—difficult to read.”

“and you’ve been so dense.” mina scoffs, looking you in the eye. “you flirt and charm all these other girls – any girl – why not me? what’s wrong with me?”

“mina there’s nothing wrong with you. and… you want me to charm you? what does that even—”

“why do you run after me when you don’t even want me like that, why don’t you love me like i love you.”

you halt, watching mina’s bottom lip twitch and brows crease as she looks at you.

“mina,” you begin, shoulders relaxing a bit. “of course i love you.”

“then why do you-“

with no warning, you lean in, capturing her lips with yours and cupping both cheeks with your hands. this is one of the dumbest decisions of the night, undeniably so. reality hits you and you’re pulling away, but mina pulls you back in.

you should stop this, you have to stop this, it can’t be right.

you don’t stop, partially because mina is wrapping her arms around you, keeping you close.

(and mainly because this is what you’ve been needing – dreaming – of for years. you’ll let your morals come back to you later, because right now this contact feels better than anything.)

her hands almost sting from how cold they are when they graze your neck, sliding up to grip your hair. you reciprocate and place your hands on her waist, the music fades out in the background, her back is pressed against the door, and you’re keeping her place as you savor what you’ve daydreamed about countless times.

using the part of your brain that isn’t overtaken by lust, you try to make sure everything is alright after remembering she’s had a drink or two – at least before you indulge again – and that she’s not sober—which is very rare for someone like mina. you pull away first and fight the urge to ruin her right here and right now.

“wait mina—” mina doesn’t give you time to speak, immediately leaping back onto you and locking lips again, whining as she tugs at your hair. she bites your lip slightly, which makes you push her against the door harder, fingers leaving marks in her skin.

there’s too much going on, too much you want to do all at once – mina wants the same.

you pull away successfully, mina doesn’t pull you back in hurriedly this time. her eyes are partially closed, lips puffy, her breath is heavy – chest heaving up and down since she hadn’t gotten the chance to properly catch her breath – and her cheeks are a rosy shade of red.

“y/n…” mina murmurs. her tone is whiny and desperate, and all it urges you to do is close the distance again.

first, you’re exchanging saliva as you slide your tongue in, sloppily making out as you shift mina over to the counter of the bathroom sink. her moans are muffled as you kiss her and it leaves you ravenous, wanting to hear it clearly. the two of you indulge in each other, just as you’ve been craving for years.

you fall to her jaw, then the soft skin of her neck, spending your time marking it up and tending to it how you’ve been wanting to. no, needing to.

mina grips your shoulder tight and her head tilts back as her lips part. it’s odd, this is what you’ve been craving, but there’s a uneasy feeling in your stomach and it’s not from anything you’ve consumed.

“shit,” you murmur, partially because mina’s tugging at your hair again, but mainly because the realization hits you: mina’s under the influence. “what am i doing.”

the spell she’s casted on you by giving you the taste of her lips finally wore off, it takes a good amount of self-restraint to pull away one last time – and this time it’s for real, you don’t dive back into her pool of temptation – though you linger a moment, lips dangerously close to the skin just above the crook of her neck.

again, you look at her: hair messy, eyes now opening, and a pout plastered on her face.

“y/n… please, keep going.” you can’t, you know better than to keep going, despite how bad you want it.

“we should get going, minari.”

“but i need you, please.” fuck. fucking shit. you want her too, more than words can tell.

“mina…” you start, bringing a hand to cup her cheek. she leans into the touch, not hesitating for a second. mina’s beautiful, you know that. she’s against the counter of the bathroom and the only thing you can really notice right is how beautiful she is despite the music from outside getting louder. it’s strange – time slows down for a moment.

your fingers push the strands of hair that messily frame her face behind her ear and she frowns harder. against a canvas of flushed cheeks and pale skin, her eyes radiate an ethereal luminescence under the glow of the bathroom light. exuding an ineffable brilliance. her eyes, wow, her eyes are pretty in the moment. they’re staring at you and captivating your senses, holding you captive as you try to fight everything telling you to go on with your desires.

“you drank lots, didn’t you?” you ask, laughing a little to shake off your nerves. two beers is the equivalent of “lots” for mina. enough to make her all hazy and cuddly. “let’s go.” you insist, “home isn’t far and i can drive. i only had a can of beer, and i have work in the afternoon.”

“why can’t you just— fuck, y/n, i just—“

“we can talk when you’re sober.”

mina mumbles something under her breath, the sound of her voice thin and vulnerable. you hold her hand and squeeze it gently before letting out a breath.

“stay close, you were stumbling earlier.” you insist, “keep my hand in yours, ‘kay?”

you don’t let mina respond and instead, you’re out the door with her hand in yours trying to find your way out of the overwhelming atmosphere. trying to get yourselves home so you can compose yourself in an environment that isn’t making your skull pulse.

momo is dancing with sana, heat radiating off the both of them as their mutual allure drags them closer and the alcohol kicks in. momo’s eyes are only on sana, that is until she catches two familiar figures struggling to pass by the crowd blocking the door.

your hand slides down and snakes around mina’s waist, keeping her ever closer as you swim through the crowd and towards the door. sana looks at momo, who’s looking in a different direction, then turns to see what’s up with whatever is going on. “whatever is going on” is something that has sana smiling cheekily, giggling and then turning back to momo.

“you see it too?” voice low yet audible as sana speaks into momo’s ear, lips brushing against the lobe. “i wonder if they had any fun. most likely, knowing how y/n is.”

“mm, maybe,” momo mumbles, distracted by the woman placing a hand on her chest. momo gulps, then faces sana fully and smirks. “maybe… they’ve never been that close, touchy yeah but…” momo shakes her head. her hand slides to the curve of her waist and pinches just barely, just enough for sana to gasp. “let’s find out tomorrow and find out way to the bathroom instead, hm?”

sana smiles, nodding eagerly before they find their way out the crowd and into the same bathroom you and mina had been in.

it takes a few at least ten curses under your breath before you reach the door, opening it and slipping past like you had done before with the entrance to the backyard – though this time, none of you are afraid of being close.

mina is following you, your hand still on her waist – holding onto her even though it’s not necessary – and leading her to the car.

another small curse slips your lips while looking for your keys, scared that you’ve lost them throughout your late night rendezvous. luckily, they’re shoved in one of your pockets, you sigh out a breath of relief as you press the small unlocked logo.

you help mina get into the passengers seat, then close the door for her and get into the drivers seat yourself. once you close your own door, you reach over mina and grab her seatbelt, invading her personal bubble with your own body. mina watches you with tired eyes, watches you grab the end and fasten her seatbelt with a click of the locks. before you lean back into your space, mina stops you, putting a hand on your shoulder.

she presses her lips to your temple – sloppily and sweetly – then leans back into her seat, closing her eyes.

you huff, then your lips curve--? turn? they display something that’s something in between a frown and smile, something that shows both at the same time, even if it sounds impossible.

the engine starts, you turn to look at mina once more, then drive.

-

hangovers are not for the weak, and they’re surely not for mina.

mina wakes up and it feels like she’s gotten run over countless times in the head. she groans and sinks into her matress more, hugging the pillow in her arms and then groaning once more – if the first, annoyed one wasn’t enough already.

she tries to recall everything from last night, only remembers a brief image of chaeyoung and a beer in her hand; and then everything else. everything.

it’s like being hit by a life-threatening gust of wind that’s trying to knock you over and over, it hits all at once and keeps bombarding you more and more and more. each gust is worse than the one before. it feels like being stuck in the middle of the sea while waves keep crashing and crashing and crashing against you. that’s how mina feels when the memories come piling back.

she remembers the push and pull – desperate fingers clawing at cloth or skin, lips parting so the two of you oculd catch your breaths – she remembers the sensation of it all – her shoulder blades meeting the material of the door – the chill of the material making her shiver – your tongue against her own, the teeth nipping at her skin, and shit she even remembered the smell of your perfume: amber and vanilla. she could seriously lose herself in that fragrance if it meant being that close to you again.

mina jumps when she hears three knocks, groggily rubbing her eyes before seeing someone her bedroom door. her eyes are squinty, but the figure is unmistakable. mina feels her cheeks burn again, and now she’s figuring out that they always grow warm whenever you’re around.

“hey… morning.” you greet softly, smiling. “i um, i have work soon. i just wanted to let you know there’s advil and vitamins on your bedside before i left. figured you’d need it.”

“t-thank you.” mina stutters embarrassingly. “y/n i’m sorr—”

“let’s talk about it later. just take your time, you have work later, right?”

“shit,” she mutters, closing her eyes tight and pinching the bridge of her nose. “yeah.”

“i’ll be home later, you should ask momo to take you.”

“i’ll do that, yeah.” mina answers. she watches you nod awkwardly, and then without a word; you leave.

--

mina calls momo later, later as in 12 o’clock pm because there’s no way momo would ever be up before then on a saturday – especially not after a party with sana around. still, momo answers tiredly, voice all stuffy and low.

“mina it’s so fucking early can we please—”

“come, now.” mina orders, “i’m tired too but i really need to talk to you and i’m saying this as in it’s urgent. you know it is if i’m begging like this. momo please come, now.”

she hears momo groan on the other end of the line, a few seconds of silence pass before momo answers: “give me ten.”

“thanks.”

momo gets to the apartment in thirty minutes and mina answers the door, making the older woman look at her shockingly. mina’s hair is disheveled with some strands loosely having a mind of their own. her eyes peer at momo tiredly, and she’s wearing an oversized tee with pajama pants to finish the “i just got out of bed and no hangover remedy could fix the headache i have” look.

“um, morning sunshine?” momo tries. mina turns and walks over to the couch, landing on it exhaustedly. momo follows over and sits down in the space next to her, watching her stare up at the ceiling.

“i think—no, yeah we definitely…” the younger woman starts, shutting her eyes. “there’s a hickey on my neck and i know it’s from last night. i remember, vaguely – but also so much at the same time.”

momo deadpans. “mina what the fuck are you saying.”

mina practically breaks her neck trying to lift it up just to glare at momo. “y/n gave me the hickey.”

“holy shit mina, that’s great! so you guys fuc-“

“no. i think we just… madeout.” mina sounds dissapointed when she says it, and she definitely is. “y/n’s being distant and i’m just—scared i ruined everything.”

the younger woman groans again, then leans back against the cushion. momo watches and moves over to sit criss-cross on the couch now, pulling mina by the wrists to sit her up. “stop moping, you kissed her. you’ve been complaining to me like, ages about her.”

“what if she regrets it?”

“i doubt it. maybe y/n is just worried that you regret it, i mean, you seemed pretty fucked last night.”

“i wish i were.” it slips out of mina’s mouth, momo tilts her head in surprise, this isn’t something mina would say, ever – at least out loud. “don’t start.” mina warns, glaring at her friend.

“i wasn’t going to.” momo assures, putting her hands up in defense. “maybe you should talk to her, she’s picking you up after work today, right?”

fuck.

“yeah.”

“perfect. good time to bond then.” momo chirps – mina deadpans, then collapses into the cushions again.

“i can count on both hands how many years we’ve known each other, i just can’t lose her.”

“you won’t. don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

-

mina’s worrying, and everything is not fine.

mina cannot take her mind off of you, the night before, and just you in general. it’s you you you you you running through her mind as she collects tips from the old couple in the corner of the restaurant. even as they compliment mina’s features she can’t help but think of you. it’s only you, you’re plaguing her mind even worse than how you did while she was all hot and heavy.

you tap at the wheel anxiously with your pointer and middle finger – a habit you’ve developed as soon as you had gotten your license at seventeen – as you wait for mina. the restaurant closes at 10, but mina’s leaving at seven because she can’t do closing shifts, you remember her rambles and complaints. you remember everything about her.

work had been as rough for you as it had been for mina, just the thought of her pulling you closer, bruising your lips, and just her drove you crazy. it took everything in you to function normally as people would come up to you asking where a certain book was in the library you worked at or if you could renew their copy of who fucking knows what novel.

your head shoots up when you see a familiar figure step out from the entrance to the restaurant. she pats down her clothes and adjusts the bag that hangs from her shoulders. mina looks at you through the window and you simply smile at her, fixing your posture. she smiles back and walks towards the car, then gets into the passengers seat.

you greet her like you always do: “hey.”

“hi.”

“how was work?”

“busy, but good tips.” she says, putting on her seatbelt and desperately trying to compose herself. “how was your work?”

“good, good. just the usual.”

“could be worse.”

“yeah.” she responds. there’s a short silence that sits in the air and that urges you to start driving. mina looks forward, but still, she can see you shifting the stick with your hands – the hands that were leaving mina breathless.

the car ride is silent, deathly silent.

sure, carrides back to the apartment after mina’s shifts have always been pretty nonverbal, but at least a few jokes and anecdotes were shared. the only thing shared is the silence, it makes you grip the wheel tight and has mina facing out her window.

“did you um, eat yet?”

“yeah, did you?”

“yeah… jonathan gave me half his sandwich before i clocked out.”

“good.”

“yeah.”

you reach the apartment complex after the most apprehensive car ride you’ve ever been in – which says a lot, considering the fact that you’ve been in a car driven by sana. not the best experience ever, she’s definitely a passenger princess, and should stay one.

the engine stops, you two get out the car at the same time – no words exchanged, but you’re both thinking the same thing – and then you hold out your hand so mina can give you her bag, just like always. the two of you head into the complex with you following behind mina, then up the stairs to your shared place.

the tension is cleared for a moment, mina watches you fish for the keys in your hoodie pocket, only for you to drop them on the floor and curse under your breath. mina laughs, you laugh with her and this is the first time you two have shared eye contact since last night, probably.

“you’re so clumsy, always.” mina snickers, looking at you with a gummy smile. you roll your eyes and put the key into the lock, twisting it right and responding,

“shut up.” you say in a tone of fake annoyance.

the door opens and you step inside, mina follows behind. your shoulders sink, untensing as soon as you close it again.

“i’m sorry, i made a move while you were drunk and if i hadn’t controlled myse—”

“shut up.” mina orders, using one hand to pull you close by the wrist and the other hand immediately slides to the back of your neck as she closes the distance again.

mina kisses you first this time, and now both your senses are fully there, no alcohol to fuck any of you over this time. you almost stumble backwards from how ttaken aback you are, but shortly after the contact you’re kissing her with the same force.

you drop the bag in your hand – it’ll be tomorrows problem, it’s not that big of a deal anyway – and cup her cheeks, slowly inching forward towards any surface that’ll keep you two from fucking on the floor right then and there. where’s the fun when there’s no action building up to everything?

mina’s feels the marble of the counter in the kitchen above her waist as you push her against it. her hands find the edge and grip onto it tightly as your hands start to roam down the curve of her hips. mina’s tugging at your hair and it earns a small whine from you, and then she’s swiping her tongue against your bottom lip since it’s the only way to ask you to sloppily make out with her without pulling away for too long.

it’s actually not that sloppy, it’s like your tongues know each other already, they accustom to each other almost immediately. minutes – it feels like hours – pass and you pull away to glance at her for a moment; cheeks? flushed. pupils? taking over mina’s eyes completely from how dilated they are. your lips? oh, they’re craving more of the woman trapped between your arms right now.

your lips fall to her jaw, pressing feathery kisses that leave her breath shaky. when mina thinks it can’t get any better, you take your time tending to her neck – which, is too empty for your liking – sucking, nipping, doing anything that’ll make her have to wear a scarf, your hoodie, or extra foundation the next morning.

as you mark up her skin, she blindly reaches to take off the jacket you’re wearing, and you reach for the end of her black shirt that she has on, then slide it off her figure.

you eye her up and down, lingering on her chest. “fuck, fuck i want to leave you a mess.”

“do it then.”

“gladly.” you say. mina feels a pulse in between her legs.

the two of you make it to mina’s room and leave pieces of clothing out on the way. mina grows louder with each kiss, and you grow touchier.

she pushes you through the door – you make sure to quickly turn on the lights so you can get a good view of her the whole night – and then her hand is on your chest, pushing you down on the bed. you prop yourself up with both hands, watching her take off her black pants and then making her way to your lap.

you can’t help but smirk at her, smirk at the exposed skin, the new territory, the groove down her abdomen, everything. she’s grinding on your lap and it feels like a dream, but it isn’t, not when you’re hyperaware of your hand sliding up the smooth skin of mina’s ribs, hyperaware of all the contact, the heavy breaths, the shaky ones, mina’s arms around your neck.

“my bra, take it off.” she orders. of course you’ll comply, it’s mina telling you this after all.

you slide your hands over her skin and feel her shiver against you, then you unhook her bra, sliding it off and throwing it somewhere around the room.

“fuck,” is all you can say. mina’s topless, she’s on your lap, straddling you, and you give up on trying to savor anything because all it’ll do is make you short circuit. it’s all so much to handle, far too much for you, so mina helps you out while she watches you amusingly.

“just gonna check me out? how about you use that mouth of yours again baby.”

“yeah.”

mina moans as soon as you indulge in her tits. she trembles as your hold on her tightens, as you swirl your tongue around her nipple, and as your other hand stimulates her other breast. she grinds against you, trying to ease the tension down in her soaked pussy, but it’s no use. she thinks she might cum just from you tending to her chest, and honestly she could—she might.

but you won’t let her reach her high that easily, not so quick. you need to savor everything—well as much as your overwhelmed brain can — because this is mina.

“so,” you kiss her breast once more, then pull away with a slight ‘pop’ sound. “fucking pretty.”

she throws her head back as you trail back up to hee neck, sinking your teeth until you get the faint hint of blood on your taste buds.

“i’ve been wanting to do this for years.”

mina’s breathless. “hnghh— yeah, fuck y/n, me too—“

you stand up slowly snd hold onto mina, who’s still straddling you. her legs wrap around your waist and she lets out a sharp breath as you turn over and set her down on her back. you stand in between her legs, then brush a finger over her nipple while running a hand down her stomach. her skin twitches as you trail down to her underwear, sliding two fingers under the rim of it and pulling it off.

“you’re so pretty mina, always have been.” you mumble, brushing your fingers over the sensitive area. “bet you sound even prettier when im going down on you.”

“y/n,” mina gasps, watching you lower yourself so that you face her cunt — it’s aching, it’s craving. “please.”

you kiss the inside of her thighs lovingly. “if you say so.”

mina’s hand grips at the sheets tightly as soon as your lips meet where she needs, a loud moan reverberates around the room. you work at her pussy with your mouth at first, eating her out at more relaxed pace since this is your first time with her. when mina ruts her hips and pushes your tongue further into her, you quicken the pace and add a finger in.

“oh fuck y/n, ngh— keep going, don’t stop.”

she twitches and jerks around the more you fuck her, a plethora of whiny moans of your name leaving her mouth. another finger is added in, plunging in and curling at the spot that makes mina’s hand immediately move to your head, gripping your hair tightly as she loses her voice.

“c’mon, gonna cum soon?”

“y-yeah, fuck i’m so, fuck, so close.”

you reach up for mina’s hand, accidentally meeting her wrist but then finding her fingers and intertwining them with your own. mina’s thighs close around your head slightly, making you groan into her lazily. then, mina moans loudly, so loud and it sounds like a near cry. her thighs tremble around you, and she holds your hand tightly as her chest heaves up and down.

you slow down your pace, taking your fingers out and savoring mina’s essence with your tongue. she’s sweet and warm, you’re drunk on her arousal. the repeated murmurs of your name ring throughout the room like a song you could listen to and never get tired of. her grip loosens and you pull away, climbing up the beauty of mina’s body and leaving kisses as you make your way up to her jawline.

she lazily puts her hand on your neck, then gradually pushes her fingers into your scalp as you kiss her lips. she tastes herself off you, then hums once she’s satisfied.

when you pull away she’s looking at you with hooded eyes, putting her hand on your cheek and rubbing her thumb against your warm skin.

“everything okay?” you ask, and mina just kisses you.

“i’m tired.” she mumbles against your lips after a peck, “stay and sleep here.”

“i didn’t plan on leaving.” you say, laughing lightly. “let’s clean up a little, okay?”

mina nods and kisses you again, letting herself sink into the cushion as you run your hands down the side of her body.

-

the morning after is so normal it’s as if you two have been fucking ever since you moved in together.

there’s some morning pillow talk that consists of you groaning into mina’s bare skin and her teasing you for being so tired. her hands massage your scalp and your lips kiss the skin that covers her ribs. her cheeks flush.

“do you have work?” she asks, voice low and tired.

“no, do you?”

“no.” she mutters, “let’s sleep in.”

“okay.” you say. you weakly lift yourself up so you can lay your head on her shoulder. “how long have you been wanting to do that?”

she turns around so you’re spooning her, then lazily moves your hand over with her own so that your arm is over her body. you pull her closer and she answers, “sophomore year.”

“highschool?”

“yeah.”

you laugh. “why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“you were too busy getting attention from other girls.” mina says annoyingly, though she scoots back so she’s closer to you. “didn’t want to waste my time waiting in line.”

“you should’ve skipped the line.” you feel for her hand and hold it, linking your fingers together. “i’ve liked you since middle school and you never noticed.”

if mina weren’t half asleep she would’ve had a bigger reaction, she’d be punching your shoulder and scolding you for being such a coward for not telling her. but what use is it when she’s already living the scene she’s been dreaming about for years. your breath is warm on her skin and she’s too content to yell at you.

mina yawns. “well it’s all figured out now, sleep.”