We were just practicing biting and clawing

INTRODUCING BERLIOZ BONFAMILLE. A HUMAN FROM ECHO CREEK.

TW: MENTIONS OF KIDNAPPING, DRUGS, AND SUICIDE

There wasn’t a chance that Berlioz could have stopped the sad smile appearing on his face in it’s tracks. “I always could,” he said. When Susie had broken up with Berlioz it left a sore spot in his heart and a bitter feeling about love for quite some time. He’d gotten over it, mostly, but had a habit of holding onto the past. “Right now though...it’s like I don’t even know you. We’ve grown so far apart that we might just be different people now.” He shrugged and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket. “It happens, I guess. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck though. There’s...there’s still days that something reminds me of you and I miss you. Usually a song or something,” he said, mumbling the last bit. “What about you?” He rose a brow. “Can you see right through me?”

Nights like these had almost became routine for Berlioz. At least once or twice a week he’d go out and just get completely blasted before coming home and crashing sometime around the sunrise. Maybe he was spiraling a bit that night. He’d gone a bit too far, drank way too much, and knew there wasn’t any way he was making it home alone. With his phone at one percent he’d just texted Marie his location with no context, hoping she’d be awake and get the memo. She was the only person he could think of to contact before his phone went dead. He’d waited on the side of the road, throwing up once or twice before he finally recognized the car that was pulling up in front of him. He’d barely gotten in without falling over but managed to just lean his head back and keep his eyes closed on the way home. Once she’d helped him in the house of course there was going to be twenty questions. He rushed to the bathroom before any of that could happen though and threw up again. When he was certain he was fine he just let his sister help him up and walk back into the other room. He prayed their mother and aunt wouldn’t wake up and come down. Before she could even start questioning him he’d said it. He felt pretty helpless in that moment. His head was spinning still and he just wanted to sit. When he finally collapsed onto the couch he held onto her so he could sit up, despite the strong desire to lie down and pass out right there. Marie wasn’t going to let him down so easily though, he knew that for certain. She was really the only family member he’d ever let see him like this. It was always so late when he got home or he just avoided everyone all together. Berlioz hadn’t really had any other options that night though than to have Marie help him home. 

“What happened?” he asked incredulously. “You were there, Marie. We were all there!” He hadn’t specified where ‘there’ exactly was but certainly Marie could have put two and two together. “I’m running from my own nightmares. My life, Marie.” His words were slurred and he didn’t even fight her when she pushed some of his hair from his eyes. He was too exhausted and far too inebriated. His hand went to his pocket where his dead phone was and froze. Something was missing from his pocket and he had no idea what could have happened to the item in question. His hands searched his pockets and when he realized his pills were missing he hoped he’d just dropped them outside the bar and not in Marie’s car or something. His focus snapped back to Marie though as she spoke up again. “You don’t understand and you never will.” He shook his head, blonde curls falling back into his eyes. “Everyone just moves on in life. Whatever. I’m stuck here alone. With my thoughts and nightmares of the past and just all this bullshit.” He glanced back at her but had to lean his head back and close his eyes. The room was spinning more and he knew himself well enough to know he needed sleep at this point. He wasn’t very optimistic that that would happen any time soon though. “I just want to feel okay. I’m just tired all the time and I can’t sleep unless I’m fucked up because I just get nightmares of the same thing over and over again every single night. Nothing works though. They always come back.” He was rambling a little bit and he likely wouldn’t have had the courage to tell her these things sober. The more he spoke the drier his throat got though. “Can you please get me some water?”

Ouch, was all Berlioz could really think when the words came out of Lindsay’s mouth. Was that her way of letting him down easy after finally getting the courage to ask her out? Berlioz thought Lindsay was pretty great, despite the lack of common sense but he had never faulted her for that. She was so pretty too that he often found himself staring a little too long or being able to find the right words to say. “Oh,” he finally said. It wasn’t really much of a response. “I mean, yeah. I suppose. I just thought you were one of them.” He hadn’t intended for that to come out so harsh, but he really did think she was cool. “You could have just said ‘no.’ I can handle that.” He was tired of people acting like he was so fragile he would combust at any moment. His family all treated him like a baby, and while sometimes he didn’t mind, he didn’t want to be coddled so much. “It’s like, totally cool though,” he added with a nervous laugh. “P-probably best to just, like, not ruin the whole friends thing.” 

Low - I Prevail

“Even when I’m high I still feel low. Voices in my head won’t leave me alone.”

&

Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers

One of Berlioz’s favorite places to go was the record shop in Coolsville. They had such a wide array for a selection and Berlioz never walked out empty handed. He was browsing the rows of records, admiring them all and how different they were from each other. If there was one thing that Berlioz loved it was music. As much as he wanted to branch out and find new passions and things to love music would always hold a special place in his heart. He had just spotted a record that sparked his interest and was reaching to grab it when a hand came out of no where and grabbed it. Slightly annoyed, but not wanting to start any confrontation, Berlioz simply let out a soft sigh and offered a smile to the stranger. “You’ve got good taste. And a faster arm than me.” He let out a soft laugh and blew a blonde curl out of his eyes. “I admit defeat though. I won’t fight you for it. Early bird gets the worm, or something. Wait, that’s not right.” He furrowed his brows together then shrugged. “I mean first who gets it is the winner basically.” He mentally slapped himself for being so awkward. “Regardless, you should get that because it’s a great album.”

Now that the holidays were over and done with Berlioz could just take a breather and go back to his normal habits. There wasn’t much to do and he was growing restless at home so he decided to go out and see what the night brought him. Besides, he was supposed to be meeting someone later but could just tell them to meet him elsewhere. He changed into some better clothes and sprayed cologne before grabbing his things and heading out. Once he arrived at the club he had a few drinks and mostly kept to himself for the first hour when he got a text that the person had arrived. He quickly stepped outside and to the side of the building, did what he needed to do then headed back inside. As he opened the door he came face to face with Susie who seemed to be leaving. He hadn’t even seen her inside, but then again there was a decent sized crowd that night. “Susie!” he let out. “Uh, hi. Were you coming out here? I mean, obviously you were walking out. I was in but then I came out and I think I’m going to go back in. Maybe.” He realized he was rambling and that’s when he felt the alcohol hit him. Finally, he stepped aside to let her out and didn’t make any move to catch the door to head inside. “Um, nice seeing you. I hope you had a good night,” he said awkwardly, trying to salvage the brief conversation in any way he could. “You know, I might head out too. My friend left already and it’s just not the atmosphere I want tonight, I guess.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “Are you driving? I could walk you to your car.”

Berlioz had barely spoken to his sister throughout her entire engagement. Now he felt a bit guilty that he hadn’t because now she was dumped. He still didn’t understand all the details of it, but he was relieved that Marie wasn’t going to marry that insufferable Kit Charming. It was him who sought her out this time, sending her a vague text asking her to come over to the house. When she finally arrived and he heard her come in the door he looked up from his phone and yelled to her that he was in the living room for her. He knew he wasn’t able to do this sober. And he’s pretty confident in his skills of acting fine around other people when needed. He just needed a way to stay calm through this all. He shouldn’t have to feel so distant from his sister and his heart shouldn’t be pounding in his chest because he was going to speak with her. When she was settled on the couch he bit the inside of his cheek for a moment before speaking. “I’m sorry your engagement didn’t work out,” he said, genuinely. “I don’t really know much about it all but...that’s still hard on someone.” He finally glanced up at her and met her eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been so angry and wouldn’t talk to you. I’m just...always angry, I guess. I’m angry you and Toulouse left and I’m angry that everyone is always acting as if nothing bad ever happened in our lives.” He looks away from her. “I don’t understand why. I miss the way our family was. I feel so out of place most of the time.” Berlioz lets out a sigh and sinks back into the couch. “Despite anything though you’re still my sister and I love you no matter what.” He gives her a small smile, in hopes she’d let this blow over and they could move on from their dispute.

It felt like ages since she’d had a moment to visit one of her favorite people. Most of their meeting were just casual flirting and other things, but Barbie truly was concerned for him. It wasn’t normal to not have a run in every few weeks with the other. So, top of her priorities today were to find her Berli boy, and try to have a conversation with him. Which Barbie knew would be a challenge with the way he could look at her sometimes. “Well hi stranger, why the long face?” She asked with a warm smile.  || @youngestaristocat​

~

Berlioz hadn’t talked to Barbie in ages. He’d felt a bit guilty after a while for not reaching out to talk to her, but she hadn’t reached out to him either. A phone worked both ways. He hadn’t expected to see her when he opened the front door. “No long face here,” he said before smiling. “Just surprised to see you here is all. It’s nice to see you though.” He moves to the side so she can come inside then shuts the door behind them. “I’m sorry I haven’t done so much as send you a message lately,” he said. “Life is just weird right now, I guess.” He shrugs then looks back to her. “How are you doing? Excellent, I hope.”

Spending time with Lindsay was always different, Berlioz had found. Things were always a surprise with her on where they’d end up. Berlioz never knew what she was going to say, and half of the time it didn’t make sense. He knew she wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but that didn’t stop him from feeling drawn to her. Lindsay was funny, even if she didn’t realize she was being funny, and Berlioz thought it was kind of cute how, to put it bluntly, dumb she could be. She was gorgeous, no doubt, but Berlioz saw past that. He knew there was more to her than some show and ditzy comments. He just had yet to really see it. Somehow that night, after a few drinks, they ended up looking up at the moon and stars from the roof of his house. The last thing he remembered after the drinks and his pills was grabbing a blanket to lay on. He was freezing, to say the least, and shivering. his beanie wasn’t doing much to keep his ears warm and his hoodie wasn’t heavy enough. “Aren’t you cold?” he finally asked, looking over at Lindsay. “I’m pretty sure I have everything we need for hot cocoa.” He smiled at her, hoping she would say yes because he could barely feel his fingers. He briefly remembered they were at a bar, but he doesn’t know for how long. At some point he must have suggested going back to his place, yet they ended up on top of it. His mind was fuzzy and all he could seem to really focus on was Lindsay and how pretty she looked in the moonlight. “If you’re not though that’s cool. We can stay out here.”

It had been a long while since Berlioz had seen Susie last. So, when he spotted her at the bar of the restaurant he was playing at that night he was a bit shocked to say the least. Surely she had seen him play, or at least heard. She had been his sole purpose for the music he wrote at one point. Now, those songs seemed so distant. He couldn’t deny that he didn’t think of her every now and then. He remembers he could barely write after they broke up and if he did find any spark it was because of her. Knowing he couldn’t avoid her and dip out of there he took a deep breath then approached her. “Hey, stranger,” he said with a warm smile. “This doesn’t really seem like your scene.” Then again there was music, it just didn’t seem like the atmosphere Susie would be into. “How have you been?” 

❤

She knew what was coming. His silence spoke enough, she knew her brother. It wasn’t that she could blame him for being upset but at the same time she felt as though it was a little ridiculous. This was her life, she was only trying to live it. Not that she thought this secret was one that she didn’t feel guilty keeping but he’d been distant since she moved, knowing it had hurt him for her to go. She remembered how it felt when Toulouse left and she imagined Berlioz had felt something similar. Marie only wanted her freedom, feeling trapped in their mother’s shadow for so much of her life, she craved the day she could leave. Perhaps that was part of why she said yes, to give her mother exactly what she asked for while knowing it was all a lie that would soon be over. It was one of Marie’s more wicked ideas but she meant no harm, though she’d caused more than she ever imagined. 

His words were sharp but she breathed through them. Marie exhaled heavily, trying to relieve some of the sting. “No, just because I was there and knew I’d be seeing mother later so I’d bring you some.” For when you get the munchies, but she kept that bit to herself. “I know that some sugar doesn’t fix everything,” she said with a little sharpness in her own tone that she tried to level out as she finished. “Not everything has ulterior motive, Berlioz. Regardless if you hate me right now or not I’m still your sister who loves you.”

~

Berlioz felt betrayed by his siblings. Maybe it was a bit childish of him to act this way and feel like they abandoned him. They were just trying to move on with their lives. Perhaps that was Berlioz’s problem all along. He couldn’t move on. Not past the kidnapping, or never having his dad around. Not when Toulouse left and not now since Marie did the same. His keys were starting to dig into his hand as he grew upset. Macarons were long forgotten about so quickly as she responded with a sharp tone. “I never said I hated you, Marie. You’re right about one thing. You’re still my sister, but...I feel betrayed. You left home because Mother was pushing you to marry this bozo, who I can’t stand by the way, and now you’re happily engaged? It doesn’t add up. I know you. My sister wouldn’t jump into an engagement like this.” His hand began to hurt and held his hand up and saw blood so he dropped his keys. His high was hitting him hard and he knew he needed to get the hell out of there. “I don’t have time for this right now. You’re not going to tell me anyways. So, either raincheck this conversation or give me a reason to believe this is all bullshit. This isn’t you, Marie. Think this shit through.” He looked down and picked up his keys with his other hand then grabbed some paper towel to wrap around his hand. I don’t need you to worry about me either. I’m fine. I know you’re going to pull that bullshit on me next.”

@mrkitcharming

“I’m not talking shit about anything,” Berlioz grumbled. “Excuse me for having thoughts and emotions about how you stole my sister away. Did you know just weeks before this all happened she was talking to me about how she had to leave so she didn’t have to marry you. I don’t know what kind of hold you have over her or why you chose Marie of all people but she’s never going to be happy with you. I don’t trust you. I never have and I never will. You’re fake and a liar. Besides, don’t you have plenty of other options? I will never be happy for your marriage to my sister when it happens. You don’t even know the half of it.” Berlioz’s hands balled up into tight fists. “I don’t really talk to people much so I’m not exactly sure how that indicates I’m talking shit about you.”

@youngestaristocat​

Shamefully, Marie had been avoiding this conversation. She knew he was upset with her and there was no way for her to mend it. Even if she told him the truth, would he understand? All she knew was that she had to at least keep trying. He was her brother. It couldn’t be awkward with her brother, she just didn’t know how to fix it. Their mother had been delighted by her engagement which meant she was still coming to her childhood home quite often. He wasn’t around much but if he was she knew he wasn’t happy with her. As she stood in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of ice tea she saw him. “I brought you some of the macarons you like, they’re in the fridge if you’re feeling munchie,” she said in a soft tone before placing the pitcher back onto the counter. 

~

Berlioz had felt so bitter lately. The news of his sister’s engagement had really hit him hard and he hadn’t spoken to her since. Every time he knew she was in the house he locked his bedroom door, and if he knew she was coming over he left. It wasn’t like she had made much of an effort to communicate either though. Berlioz had been feeling so lonely since Marie had left home when she was originally in question to marry Kit. Now it was actually happening. Berlioz hated the guy. Kit was almost...too charming. His name was overly fitting and Berlioz wanted nothing to do with him prior to any of this business and he especially didn’t want him to be apart of the family. He felt betrayed. First by Toulouse and then Marie. He barely came out of his room to see his mother and if he left the house it was either to go get drugs or go out and drink. Sometimes both. Well, that and work. He’d been struggling with work lately because his muse was so low. Piano was his true love but lately he lacked the energy to play. He was truly spiraling and it wouldn’t be long before someone noticed. He feared his mother already had because she’d been extra kind with him lately but still he avoided her. 

It was around three in the afternoon when he woke up for the first time that day. He had no clue Marie was there but was certain his mother was gone. So, he went on with his half assed routine. Took a shower, threw on some clothes for the day, then went and grabbed his small, plastic bag of pills. After getting the drugs in his system he felt like he could do what he needed to do. Which was go meet his dealer for more before it got dark. The darkness for the night was setting in sometime around five o’clock as the colder months approached. He was all set to go, keys in hand and hoodie up, when he turned the corner and saw Marie in the kitchen. Berlioz froze in spot, simply looking at her and listening to her words ring in his ear. He felt a lot of emotions. Abandonment, anxiety, fear, and anger were a few to name. 

“You...brought me...macarons...” he said to her slowly. Berlioz had always been great at hiding when he was high but in the moment he was so shocked and his speech sounded almost slurred. “For what?” he continued. “A peace offering?” His brows furrowed together which only brought attention to blue eyes with dilated pupils. “You think you can just get me some fucking macarons and act like everything is normal?” Berlioz was furious now and he wasn’t afraid to show it. His hands balled into fists at his sides, his left hang gripping his keys tight and digging his nails into his right hand. “That’s not how this works.” 

-

Lindsay was surprised to see him, she really was, but she was more surprised that the party she had been sent to directions to was clearly the wrong one. Sometimes she wondered if people did this to play a prank on her. She knew that would be awfully mean and she couldn’t really understand why someone would want to do that to her. She was the butt of a lot of jokes, but most of the time they went right over her pretty little head. Right now she wasn’t sure if she was making a big deal out of nothing or if that sinking in her gut was because she was right. “Oh…really?” she tried to keep a brave face on. She didn’t want to worry anyone. “I mean..no this would not be the party I would be into. So I guess I’m lost again…silly me.” The more she spoke the sadder she sounded and she wished she could turn that off, but she was never that in check with her emotions. “Don’t even worry about it, Berlioz. I can work my way through this one!”

~

The moment Berlioz caught onto her sad demeanor and tone his heart ached. He felt for her as he often had a horrible sadness lying heavy on his chest. He felt sad for her and wanted to help her in any way he could. Maybe he could use this as a chance to get to know her better and be alone. “Well, if you wanted to party why don’t we make our own?” he asked, with a slightly nervous flirtatious tone. His hands were a little shaky as he spoke but he figured if he didn’t try and act on the butterflies in his stomach whenever he was around Lindsay he would never know where it could lead. Maybe he’d have some sort of happiness even if all he found in her was a friend. “No, I don’t want you to be lost and alone at night. What if something happened?” He frowned slightly and cocked his head to the left. “We can find something fun to do together, I know it. Hell, we could even go buy ourselves something to drink at a store and go drink in the park or something. What do you say?”

//closed starter @youngestaristocat​

If there was one thing about their arrangement that Kit and Marie hadn’t talked about, it was that her family wasn’t so thrilled about their engagement. They weren’t close, so talking about family dynamics wasn’t part of their deal. And yet, with an announcement as grand as theirs, Kit should have known that the families involved had something to say. Kit had asked Ella what was the deal with Marie’s family, which unfortunately she had no idea about. The only gossip they consumed was from the gossip blog, and upon reviewing the previous posts, there was no mention so far of Marie’s family.

Kit could do some in-depth research, having known that Marie’s family were very protective of her because of their wealth. However, he lacked time to do a quick Google search as another brother came to him in their mansion. “Berlioz, what a surprise to see you. Please, settle in.” Kit nodded, a bit of shame seen across his face as he knew that Kit wasn’t even able to talk to her family. He should have, on a normal occasion, but their deal was rushed and Kit had simply forgotten to act normally. “I believe Marie is out with her friends. What brings you here?” He inquired.

~

His chest was pounding. A constant erratic pattern of pounding in his chest. Maybe he was nervous, maybe he’d taken too many pills. Regardless, Berlioz knew he was going into this with blind rage. Kit Charming was not a name that was easy to live up to it’s meaning. Berlioz knew the man had been doing it since he could talk though. As far as Berlioz was concerned it was Kit Charming who was enemy number one. Berli had always had dark thoughts but he didn’t genuinely hate a lot of people. Kit was growing closer to making the list though. He marched up to the mansion he’d been staring at from the street for a little too long. He had to prepare himself and when he realized he may never be ready he just went with it. After the door being opened by a staff member he was let in and Kit was went and called down. Berlioz did not give two shits about Kit. He was there to find his sister. It was going to be an ugly interaction regardless but he needed to see Marie. He needed to know the truth. This all seemed so wrong to him.

It unsettled Berlioz the way Kit had said his name. He couldn’t stand the guy just by the sight of him. He felt sick and a little dizzy. “What brings me here?” he spat back at him. “My sister. The one you’re supposedly marrying,” he said bitterly. “Not long ago she was telling me how she didn’t want to be tied into all of this bullshit and now she’s here and smiling while doing it. It doesn’t add up or make sense.” Berlioz had a million things he wanted to say to Kit but couldn’t form them all together. “What happened to asking the family’s blessing before proposing? My family has been through enough, don’t you think? Or did your dearly beloved not tell you all the dirt?” Berlioz’s hands began shaking so he balled them up into fists and held them at his sides. There was a ringing in his ears that was drowning out any other thoughts he had. His eyes could barely focus on Kit and is face felt like it was burning. “And you ‘believing’ Marie is out with friends is not enough for me. I need to know exactly where she is. So you can either call her and tell her to come home or you can tell me where she is and I’ll go find her myself.”