not him. ilya.

like he'll be gnawing on an idea for a couple days, and he'll go to sleep thinking about it, and then one day he'll wake up at 3am and it's finally done percolating and he has to Tell Someone About It Right Now and every time ilya is just like

This list has all my favourites that I've read so far, ratings and word counts included.

I love these so I hope you enjoy and if you like them please go give the authors some love in their comments!!

please leave a message by subcorax (T, 2.4k)

Tags: Alternate Universe-Canon Divergence, Texting, Mistaken Identity, Not Canon Compliant, WAG Ilya Rozanov

Sarah Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here. Jackie Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden. < Jackie has added Lily to the conversation > Lily what what is this Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.

~

Shane Hollander vs. the Power of Friendship by sillylittlepal (T, 3.4k)

Tags: Texting, Ottawa Centaurs Team, WAG Shane Hollander, Sillyness

Shane gets added to the Ottawa Centaurs WAG group chat and gets the support network he didn't know he needed.

~

Haydenov Phone Swap (Series) by icopythefax (E, 61k)

Tags: Hayden Finds Out, Sexting, Secret Relationship, Coming Out, POV Hayden Pike, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Relationship, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Relationship Reveal, Hayden & Ilya friendship Texting Fic, Social Media

After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

~

i took a (yaoi) pill in ibiza by catknives (T, 2.8k)

Tags: Multimedia, Honeymoon, Social Media, Twitter, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Protective Ilya Rozanov, POV Outsider, Shane Hollander Walks Ilya Rozanov Like A Dog, Humour

@lharrietthespy: OMG OMG OMG wait i think ilya rozanov and shane hollander are honeymooning at the same resort as me??? Shane and Ilya accidentally terrorize a fan on her vacation. twitter chaos ensues.

~

ilyuca81 (otherwise known as lucarozanov) by Anonymous (T, 8.6k)

Tags: Luca Haas, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ottawa Centaurs Team, Social Media, Texting

lucarozanov if shane hollander gets mad at me reading about him getting blasted in the ass then he can check his bank account. i know ilya would be chill with it though Luca Haas tries very hard to not let anyone know about his dark (read: embarrassing) past. Unfortunately, the fans are ready to let people know for him. Or, Luca used to run a tumblr blog for Hollanov and the internet goes wild.

~

mic’d up by hozanova (reymanova) (T, 18k)

Tags: Social Media, Hockey Players Mic'd Up on the Ice, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Post-Book 6: The Long Game, Relationship Timeline Reveal, Shane Hollander Walks Ilya Rozanov Like A Dog, Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Karaoke

Every time Ilya and Shane are on hot mics, Harris loses a year off his life.

~

two-man advantage by dykeries (T, 4.7k)

Tags: Post-Book 6: The Long Game, Magazine Profile, POV Outsider, Interviews, Journalism, Discussions of Outing, Domestic

Two-Man Advantage: At Home with Hockey’s Biggest Power Couple by Matthew Cooper Their on-ice rivalry turned into the NHL’s most unexpected love story. Now, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov say they have no plans to slow down. the GQ profile fic.

~

nothing that i don’t already know (series) by guarddog (theslymoon) (T, 36.5k)

Tags: POV Outsider, Social Media, Hockey Media, Podcasts, Humour, Ottawa Centaurs, Post-HR, Minor TLG Spoilers, Canon Compliant-ish

Julia Prior @JuliaPriorESPN I sat down with Ilya Rozanov to talk about what he loves about Boston, what it’s like to play the best hockey of his career, and what comes next. bit.ly/203948 tanHER dillon @kanatacommunist i s2g i just saw r*zanov at the ottawa airport…. theres no way right ↳ vic hates hockey @censeless tired: hollanov real wired: ir81 to the centaurs real or: ilya's last season in boston through the eyes of hockey twitter.

~

the sum of its parts (series) by FlameHazel18 (T, 21.7k)

Tags: Book 6: The Long Game, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Social Media, Group Chats, Chat Fic, Relationship Reveal, Humour, Fluff, Angst, Ottawa Centaurs

Hello, pals! You may have noticed that on AO3, it’s possible to embed what looks like texting into a fic but is actually built with The Power of CSS and AO3 workskins!

Maybe you found this amazing article: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722 and wanted to do it yourself but were too overwhelmed by the coding steps involved. Or maybe copy and pasting hundreds of individual texts into the HTML made you want to scream.

Fear not! I have built a tool. With this spreadsheet and a few copy-pastes, you can turn this:

into this:

The spreadsheet link again: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1KllIZ1dsvnnJg8AwJRZPdMvA12AvL1hLecju4MbDiwo/edit?usp=sharing

Shane Enabler Hollander: ok so Ilyusha this player has had zero assists in the entire season, he got drafted last, and finally - and this is crucial - he once scored a goal in his own team's net

Posting Date: 19 August, 2026 Fic Title: When I Picture You Artist: @deancebra-art Author: @you-needajelloshot

Fic Summary: Shane discovers the wonders of the timer function on his phone's camera, and how fun it can be to rile Ilya up at the most inopportune times.

Or: 5 times Shane torments Ilya with sexy photo shoots (+1 time Ilya makes him pay for it)

Snippet: Ilya: Fuck Hollander Ilya: You're trying to kill me Ilya: I'm not going tobe able to play tonight Ilya: Undisclosed lower body injury Ilya: All o fmy blood is in my fucking dick

Shane:

Posting Date: 19 August, 2026 Fic Title: When I Picture You Artist: @deancebra-art Author: @you-needajelloshot

Fic Summary: Shane discovers the wonders of the timer function on his phone's camera, and how fun it can be to rile Ilya up at the most inopportune times.

Or: 5 times Shane torments Ilya with sexy photo shoots (+1 time Ilya makes him pay for it)

Snippet: Ilya: Fuck Hollander Ilya: You're trying to kill me Ilya: I'm not going tobe able to play tonight Ilya: Undisclosed lower body injury Ilya: All o fmy blood is in my fucking dick

Posting Date: August 15, 2026 Title: How to Lose Shane Hollander in Ten Days or Less (preferably less) Artist: @pinenora317 Author: @trickysnail

Fic Summary: Ilya needs to date a guy and get dumped in less than a week. Luckily Shane Hollander has impossibly high standards and a track record of quick turnarounds.

Shane needs to prove he can date a guy for a whole ten days. Luckily Ilya Rozanov has a reputation for being a no-maintenance boyfriend who will be easy to put up with for a couple weeks.

they're at the kingfisher after a game in new york and scott and some of the other admirals are there along with a majority of the cens and they're all having a good time. ilya and some random admirals player are chirping each other and ilya says something a little mean in the asshole way he does with a small tilt of his lips. and shane can suddenly feel eyes on him from scott and carter and troy and various other players, and for a second he doesn't get it. he doesn't get it, until all he does is snort in response, because well, it was true and also pretty funny and ilya really is the funniest person he knows, okay, and ilya nudges him with a small smile when he hears it, but then the stares slowly morph into something like confused gapes, and all of a sudden, he gets it. it's not the first time it happens and it definitely won't be the last, but shane starts noticing it a lot more and it continues to piss. him. the. fuck. off.

hayden giving him an expectant glance when ilya is half-yelling and groaning with a few cens in the bar at the soccer game on tv, like shane is for some reason gonna tell him to quiet down. scott giving him a quick side-eye when ilya chirps about his age on the ice, like shane is gonna tell him to stop; like he doesn't find the multiple layers to ilya's chirps to scott genuinely impressive, like he doesn't find it amusing. evan, though to his credit he was mostly joking, making a sly comment about shane needing to hold ilya back from fighting during a game, like shane would do that when ilya is well-fucking-aware of when to pick fights and when not to because he is the second-best hockey player in the league; like shane doesn't also find it unbearably hot when ilya has a little blood on his knuckles and dripping down the corner of his lips as he calls out mean little quips at the other team with a smirk on his face

because the thing about their relationship is that shane is undeniably attracted to ilya being an asshole. he thinks it's funny. it almost definitely also turns him on. and he likes when ilya is mean and smug and rowdy and a little shit. he likes when ilya is an asshole to him because that's their banter and their foreplay. he likes when ilya is an asshole to other people because he pretty much always thinks what ilya says is hilarious. (plus it's the fact that shane is also an asshole; it's just that ilya says it out loud more often than he does)

and so the thing about their relationship that, for some fucking reason, other people don't get is that shane, from the very beginning, has always and will continue to like when ilya is an asshole. and yes, they're married (shane also thinks some people seem to forget this, because why would shane marry ilya if he truly doesn't like ilya's personality. he thinks other people are a little stupid sometimes.) but they're also best friends and bond over being the best at what they do and how competitive they are and that they're both a little bitchy at times