At this point, I accepted that what we have energetically isn’t going anywhere. But that’s just energy and not physicality. So I also accepted the fact that I have unconditional love for you because I know how strongly I still feel for you after all these years and with all the people who have come and gone throughout my life, there is no entity (yes I said entity again) that can replace you and what your energy means to me.

My love for you just lives inside me in a way where it exists without needing anything in return from you. But the truth is, I still haven’t gotten anything in return from you. I’ve been blocked for almost 2 years now and I’ve been using this space to try to get through to you for almost a full year now. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been putting out a lot of my energy towards you without receiving any back.

So with that being said, this is gonna be my last message to you. I will no longer be putting my energy towards something that isn’t reciprocating any energy back to me because I’d be doing myself an injustice and repeating a pattern of people pleasing by prioritizing someone’s else emotional comfort over my own emotional and energetic well being.

I don’t know if I have the right to say this, but since it’s my last message… fuck it.

I love you. Truly madly deeply. I love you.

Because I know I’ve been dishing out a lot of heavy shit these past couple days. So let me just lighten up the energy on one of the topics.

I’ve got a lot going on for me in terms of the goals I wanna accomplish for myself. There are so many things I would like to do before I have to take on the responsibility of having children. Everyone likes to downplay it but having a kid really does change your life as an independent person. Your time is no longer fully yours when you have to take care of another human being.

So one thing that is certain for me is that I do not want or plan to start having children until after I turn 35. I’m 32 right now so I’ve still got three more years until taking on that responsibility because I am no way in hell ready to raise a kid right now… Lol

Like how can I be a DJ and travel around the world doing amazing sets until sunrise if I have to take care of a kid…

Honestly, there’s so many more examples and reasons to why I can’t have a kid right now or anytime soon and I feel like you feel the same way about where your life is at in terms of wanting to experience things freely first before committing to having a kid and having that responsibility over you. So when it comes to Ace. No pressure.

Life can always be an ongoing vacation if you plan and structure it to be. I am out here, surviving and thriving fully immersed in what it means to live life that way where I never feel like I wanna go on a vacation away from my everyday life.

I literally wake up every morning and thank God every day for giving me another day of life because that is how much I appreciate it. People take their life source for granted. They take their body for granted. They take the fact that they have both working arms for granted. They take the fact that they can walk from point A to point B for granted. They take the fact that the food that they eat is so easily accessible and in such abundance that they don’t know what it truly means to actually have nothing to put in their mouths.

I don’t know if you know this, but one of my life goals is to live past 100 years old. I live my life every day working towards that fact that I wanna be a centenarian, and I don’t say that casually like I want to be a cute little 100 old lady who gardens and has tea in the morning on her porch. No. I wanna be able to squat and drop it like it’s hot at 100. Because what’s the point of living life to the fullest if my body can’t be at its fullest at any point in time. And it’s also for my own life experience of wanting to be someone who will have moved through this world for 100 years and was able to explore and see the changes that are constantly happening on this beautiful Earth.

I’m not trying to intimidate you, but I’m letting you know right now, my mission in this life is to build an international empire so grand that it leaves a legacy for generations to come. Whether I’m alone in this or not, that is something I know that I was meant to do in this lifetime.