side for @mikashisus 🩶 lots of thirsting, lots of gf posting, frequent haterism, occasional crashouts, rbs r okay

it really hurts when you’re relapsing and someone you think was a very close friend to you says absolutely nothing despite knowing very well that you may harm yourself or worse.

i am so incredibly transparent about things. if i don’t like someone, i make it PAINFULLY OBVIOUS i do not give a shit. no fake smiles or sweetness, i will flat out make it clear without explicitly saying anything. u would know

sharing lore has always been something that excited me more than anything else. bc of how much thought, effort, and time i put into it all. and in the end, that was always wasted.

i really am genuine about how much i love my friends here AND their selfships. and in return i continuously get pushed aside, ignored, left out, and forgotten.

i think it’s funny bc even if i did end up deactivating, i know no one would miss me. bc ive gone on breaks without warning before and NO ONE said anything. not even a “oh where’s artie?” or a check in and it’s very telling.

i will never understand people who use ai to write bc like it’s just NOT tempting to me, no matter how much i get writer’s block.

called mylayla “baby” for the first time on call last night and got butterflies

oughhhhhh stretch marks

i think my next therapy appointment is where i should finally delve into my worst flaws. cause up until this point, we’ve only rlly gone over my trauma and how shit my family can be