Ludicrous Capybara

Should’ve checked whether anyone in my house likes eggs before we got chickens. I have 67 eggs that need eating.

go out and throw them at cop cars

How many cop cars do you think are within walking distance of my house

Once you egg the first, there’s a delivery service for more.

Ah yes, the Grand Theft Auto method

Buy egg cartons to fill and put them in ur local grocery store

I’m never coming to this website for advice again.

I hope that kid who used to talk about how delicious blood was in elementary school has a good day, I hope the  kid who used to eat weeds because he wanted to turn green from the chloroplast is doing good , I hope that one girl who picked up a  dying bee to give it a proper burial is doing ok, I hope the wolf girl who was my best friend in elementary school and had to be told not to bite people has an absolutely lovely day

“They’ll never find the body” is a boring threat. Threaten that they’ll never stop finding the body

They’ll be recovering pieces of you for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them.

That’s terrifying

Did anyone else have an obscenely dangerous childhood activity? Ours was climbing the beams in the abandoned glass factory.

I'm glad dodge rock is a universal childhood pastime.

"the author is clearly NOT gifted by Hermes with the power of prophecy. two stars."

there is no discourse between gen z and millenials. we are siblings. come on lil bro, ill take you to amc. yeah we can go there early and play the arcade games before the movie starts.

Can we get popcorn and a drink to share :)

we sure can buddy, we sure can

Why do the two reblogs read like a soldier dying in their friends arms and talking about when they’ll get back home to give them a bit of comfort before they die

because have you seen the economy and society lately

Why did we ever stop wearing 18th century clothing

to wear 19th century clothing you Georgian rake

The vampires are fighting

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

Calvins mom in calvin and hobbes was a lesbian look at that shirt she looks like therese in that one scene in carol

i was not ready for new calvin and hobbes headcanons

*shows up to a high-society cocktail party with a purse filled w/ 300 garden snails* these are my escorts for the evening

Whe you release them do you yell “Escort, go!”

of all the clowns on this webbed site your shoes are the most elongated and your nose is, by far, the most throbbingly tumescent

Now with some corrections according to the lady with the fiddle!

Percy is a misandrist king because he worships every woman in his life and hates men while Nico is a feminist king because he stans women and loves men equality ig and Jason is just there listening to them talk gender politics nodding. He was raised by wolves he doesn’t even know what gender is. Leo and Frank are taking notes.