Sit up boys and men, hands off dicks and listen. I am going to tell you a few things about your orgasm. I am a sensei of technique, a solosexual with 25 years of experience masturbating and there are things that I have learnt, things I will impart here, that will blow your mind before you blow your wad.

CUMMING IS A BUZZ KILL

My friend, you are putting too much stock into your ejaculation. Cumming is fun, yes, it feels good, yes, but it is a buzz kill. Think about how fleeting ejaculation is. How it kills off your solo fun! Your first point of order is to stop loving ejaculation so much. Yes, it’s the old “it’s the journey, not the destination”, mentality. But I really mean it. Stop rushing to the end. If you don’t conquer this, you will never reach higher plateaus of your masturbatory potential. If you are to be a sensei of technique, you need to learn to edge. 

EDGING

Next time you bate, analyse it. Think about the rising crescendo of pleasure. How does it move through a bell curve? You hit stages from 1-10. If 10 is the full blown sticky mess, then your 9 is that point of inevitability that you’re gonna sperm. You need to make 8 your goal. If you can hover yourself on an 8 for longer than 30 minutes, or even better 60 minutes, or even better than that, four hours, then a whole plethora of pleasure will become available to you. If you are a “bat it and blow” guy, then little fledging, you have practice to do. If you last two minutes, then try next time to last four. Then eight. Then twenty, thirty, and so on. You have to be dedicated. If you are finding it too difficult not to rush to blast your wad, then refer to the first point I made above. Experienced edgers who can easily edge an hour or more can then proceed to the more advanced lessons below. 

THE THREE TYPES OF ORGASM

What you’ve been told about your orgasm is a lie. Your orgasm is far more mysterious and varied than you ever imagined. There are three orgasms men experience: 

1) The ejaculation orgasm. 2) The non-orgasmic ejaculation.  3) The non-ejaculation orgasm. 

I can teach you to have all three. Well, you surely know how to have the first one. That’s easy. You taught yourself that at age 12 or whenever it was you began bating. But the other two are trickier. But please get this in your mind, ejaculation and orgasm are not one and the same. You can separate one from the other. You can experience one without the other. To do so you need technique, will power and the intelligence to understand your body.

SPLATTER BATTER

Let’s look at the non-orgasmic ejaculation. This is when sperm spews from your penis but is not accompanied by muscle throbs to eject the shot out. I call this the cute term “edgegasm”. Why does the body do this? Because as you bate, your body prepares for ejaculation. You are telling it that it will sperm soon, so it moves sperm from your testes into the tubes and sacks below your shaft. It does this in preparation to shoot.

Now If you deny the ejaculation but keep bating, more and more sperm pools down there ready to go. It pools until your body just cannot pool more. You will by this stage be in a frenzy of self-love. If you aren’t, then you are not bating hard enough. So long as you don’t buzz kill by ejaculating, you will have one or more non-orgasmic ejaculations. Sperm will just ooze out. It’s a physical reaction to too much stimuli. And it’s fucking hot to behold.

THE HOLY GRAIL

You can have multiple, beautiful, endless orgasms. This is the Holy Grail of male sexuality. A multiple non-ejaculatory orgasm. Or dry orgasms. Men can train themselves to orgasm without ejaculating. It is different to what you’ve been doing since you were 12 years old, but it is possible. Train yourself to do this and you will have an enhanced, more varied and satisfying sex life (either solo or partnered).

Again, think about the crescendo of pleasure from 1-10. Get to an 8. Be on that 8 for half an hour or more. Now here is where I ask you to really pay attention to your body. Pound, pound, pound yourself and then stop… When you stop pounding your hand momentarily, can you feel your body respond with a jolt? A throb in your penis? That throb is your orgasm. It is masked when you are pounding away at it with your hand. You just feel your hand’s pressure/pleasure. But your orgasmic response is happening waaaaay before you shoot. Edge and hover at an 8 for long enough and you will feel that throbbing become increasingly involuntary. It will pulse away inside you several times when you stop pounding. You’ll get 2 or 3 beautiful, orgasmic, non-ejaculatory throbs. Notice it and cultivate it. In doing so, you are teaching yourself to orgasm without ejaculation.

DRY IS THE FUTURE

Expert edgers are not born that way. They become experts through experience. Expert edgers have spent many, many hours perfecting their craft. And you may laugh at this, but an expert edger is having way more fun than you. You know how I asked you to hover on an 8, well an expert edger can hover on a 9. Experts can edge within the fraction of a single stroke that will either keep them edged or send them over. That kind of power and control is rare. It is the realm of the technique sensei. A non-ejaculatory orgasm achieved on a 9 is a full blown dry orgasm. Sperm will not erupt but you will have an overwhelmingly pleasurable, throbbing, special, beautiful, mysterious and amazing orgasm. The best part is there is no refractory period. You do not go soft and need to wait an hour before you can have another one. You can have as many as one a minute! Have ten of these and you will not even need to ejaculate. It’s just a question of how you wrench yourself away from giving yourself another ten more.  Think about the implications for your pleasure if you can orgasm without ejaculation. That you can have multiple orgasms in one session. Believe me, I have been with men who have witnessed me doing this and it drives them crazy. I have been with men who, like me, are able to orgasm repeatedly, endlessly. It is beyond your imagination. Imagine the pleasure you could give to a partner if you can control your ejaculation masterfully.

IN CONCLUSION

Though I have learnt many things in spending hours touching myself, there is only one truth. Your body is endlessly capable of tremendous pleasure and your sexuality is a deep well spring of mystery that you should dedicate your life to mastering. I never wish to gain all the knowledge of my sexuality. For if I did that, then I would certainly prefer to die. Instead I live each day in the secret hope that I push further in, open further out and make connections with myself that I never thought were possible. I wish the same for you.

Write to me any time. I love to hear your experiences, your lessons and will answer your questions. Now stop reading, and get your hands on your dicks.

I’m the only married one in my group of friends, and as such, me and my husband are always considered a “unit” when hanging out, going to the club, etc. Last summer the group of us chipped in and rented a house for a week in Provincetown. My single friends all had the prime directive to get laid as much as humanly possible, and my husband and I were newly “open” (occasionally invited a third over for stroke sessions) so we were also looking forward to bring back new meat. On our second night in Ptown, the gang went out to the clubs and as the night progressed, we ended up bringing a bunch of people back to the house, some just new friends we made that night, some potential one night stands, all on various levels of drugs and alcohol. I’m assuming this is a pretty normal occurrence in Ptown. My husband had found us a really hot blonde guy (Nate), more muscular than either of us, which was accentuated by the leather harness on his chest. We were originally going to his place to have some fun, but he couldn’t host so we came back to our rental. All our friends and guests were partying in the living room, and we chatted and hung out for about five minutes before Nate starts making out with my very willing husband. They were feeling the eyes of everyone at the party, so they not-so-subtly moved to “our” room, at which point all eyes turned to ME. Since they were super into each other, I decided to wait a few minutes before following and hung out with my friends to let them know I was “cool with it.” When I went to go join them, I pulled on the door and IT WAS LOCKED. I was standing in the living room, while everyone watched me get locked out while some blonde hunk was having his way with my husband! I started knocking and tried to play it cool, and after what seemed like an eternity, they let me in.

However, that was about the extent that my presence was noticed by either of them. It was both hot and humiliating at the same time. We had promised beforehand that if we did end up having a threesome, we would wear protection. And dutifully enough, Nate had a condom on. For a while, at least. He started making exaggerated sighs and pulling his cock out of my husband. Said the condom was too tight and made it difficult to stay hard. Both of them, as if in sync, turned to me, asking permission with their faces, but not their words. I stammered a little and said something like “well, i guess try it without…” and with that, the condom was off and I was again invisible to them. I have never seen my husband that lost in pure ecstasy before. I’m not sure which one of us enjoyed it the most, my husband for getting the pounding I could never provide, or me for being able to bear witness. I sat and watched on a chair at the foot of the bed. Whatever Nate was doing to his hole, I was loving the view.

My friends outside must have heard the moaning, and decided to burst in like drunk giddy schoolgirls to “catch us in a threesome.” What they saw, however, was my husband face-down, begging to be bred, asshole high in the air as a cocky 24-year old blond hung plunged his dick all the way in and all the way out. It was that moment that I was FULLY cucked. This wasn’t just some internet fantasy or niche porn. All our friends were standing there, awkwardly not knowing if they should try and cheer me up or just walk out. I gave an equally awkward “no guys, its cool” smile and kept jacking off in my chair, and they went back to the living room.

Nate started revving up the sex talk. “Yeah, you like my cock in you?!” kind of stuff. He then asked, “How long has it been since your boyfriend fucked you??”

“Years” I heard my husband say.

First of all, it’s “husband” not “boyfriend,” and second, well …. it really had been a while since I fucked him. We mainly just do oral/jack off stuff.

“What a waste!” he said laughingly “I’ll fuck your ass every night. You want that??”

My husband didn’t respond, but turned to me. With the biggest smile he admitted “Nate lives in (my city) babe…”

I moved to the foot of the bed when I heard the increasing moaning that comes before climax. They were still fucking doggy style and I massaged Nate’s balls, as if giving my consent to breed my husband. Not that it was needed. Truthfully, I also wanted to feel the instant he “claimed” my husband. I watched that point-of-no-return moment as his dick pinned my husband to the bed. Muscles clenching, and after a few seconds, slowly relaxing again. He raw fucked my husband. In front of my friends, in front of strangers, in front of me. I still don’t know how to process everything. It’s both the most humiliated and most turned on I have ever been.