We are free

It’s been awhile since I felt I had a home but I found a new one in your heart. When I rest my head against your chest I am trying to find a way to crawl into the depths of your heart and stay. I live in the spaces between your fingers yearning to get closer and closer. Sometimes when you kiss me I can feel your fear of what happens when you’re not kissing me so let me tell you:

1. The scents of autumn are enticing. Wet leaves on a cold day, my mom’s freshly baked apple pie, the harvest berries in the woods, and pumpkin everything. This year my favorite scent of autumn is easily you. 

2. Sometimes my bones ache and I can’t tell if it’s from the weather getting cold and all the times I’ve broken them or if it’s because you are not holding me. I can feel you with the sunshine glistening on my hair as I walk home from work. The temperature is dropping but I feel so warm. 

3. Every cup after cup after cup of coffee I drink tastes like you. When I smoked my first cigarette of the morning I inhaled more of you than the smoke.

4. I hear the first note of my favorite song. It sounds like the way you sigh when our lips are pressed together. There is something about the way you moan that sends me into a place I’ve never been before. 

5. The lines on my palm are filled with the honesty and promises you spill. I fidget with my fingers and hear your voice shedding gratitude. I never want to lose you. I never want to hurt you.