free

It’s nice to write about nothing sometimes, been awhile since I rambled thoughts on my keyboard instead of my mouth. It’s cool to type it out because it always comes off a bit more eloquent, plus you can delete, pause to ponder, and google search words to make sure you come off really educated, it’s splendiferous (thanks google.) As of now it’s 12:45am in Grand Prairie, TX and I’m in my old bedroom reeling off the season 2 finale of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, damn what a show.

I don’t have any super poignant thoughts brewing but I felt like writing, the quiet of the suburbs really lends itself to lots of introspection and mental clarity, I love it in small doses. I’m realizing I couldn’t do more than a week or two home at a time, the constant liveliness of LA is good for a boring guy like me, I love my family but I need that contrasting energy on the west coast to wake the ambitious side of my brain up.

Moving on my own to LA has done a lot for my mental and helped me dial in on becoming a better version of myself. I remember almost completely bottoming out from a stupid mistake this time 4 years ago, so it’s wild to look at my life now and see how much of a 180 turnaround I made, it makes me happy to know that I’m figuring things out.

Theo told me that “it was never where you lived, it was always you” and I had to sit with that. Every now and then you hear something you don’t even understand fully but it hits you and you slowly internalize and dissect it over time. My understanding of that now is this: I’m the only one with the power to ruin or make my life better, and moving away was the first time I took ownership of that power. Now whether I’m ruining or improving my life is up to the judgement of the beholder, but from where i’m looking, I think it’s going quite well.

Okay, I think I’m done rambling.