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I just honestly wish i had my someone at the end of the day. Just sucks constantly feeling alone my whole life. Feeling alone and always being rejected are my two biggest problems and the mix equals self harm. And honestly thats been on my mind heavy today. Twice today I have thought about doing it. I just feel pathetic at this point

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I know im not the only one who seem to cant find happiness but I truly feel like there’s nothing out there that makes me happy. Other than wanting a family, and be a stay at home mom. Taking care of the kids. Cooking dinner for my family. Then worshiping my husband when he comes home.

There was only one guy i met online, when i was 15. His name was kyle. He lived in ohio or iowa , something like that. But him and i were on the same path of him being this man and me being his trap queen. He was the only guy who would tell me he wanted me to snort molly off his dick and then blow him. Our conversations would go on for hours. We never met but kept in touch for a while. I can’t find him after i broke up with my recent ex. I wonder if he still thinks about me.

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Breathe and remember you will never be good enough for what you want. So just stop trying

I really don’t think anything is going to make me happy. I just need to accept that and at least then i can just be miserable in peace in my mind. But its like im trying so hard to find my happiness. That im like tired. Im like just fuck it. Kill me

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Miss you so much dad. Wish i could see you again. Wish I could here you say happy birthday super buddy. I wish I could get back the time.

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