okay so I'm having a debate with my flatmates

Yall be careful!

"it's all fake looking ugly slop! Weird fingers! You can always tell!"

What I believe is happening in the case of coming across a public expression of sexuality, or a trans woman in a dress, or someone wearing a BDSM collar, or a woman in a short skirt is that these things will strike some people as inherently "sexual" in ways that other things (such as topless men and wedding rings) do not. And things that strike us as "sexual" may evoke sexual stigma in our minds. And this experience of sexual stigma - which can act indirectly and from a distance, as we've all seen with fears of "contagiousness" - can make us feel as if we are being "nonconsensually" implicated in a "sexual" activity, even though no boundaries have actually been breached, and the supposed act may not even be sexual for the other party. Such overreaches are worrisome, not only because they further marginalize those who are already unfairly "marked by sex" in our culture, but also because they can dilute or weaken legitimate claims of nonconsent in cases where actual sexual violence has been perpetrated.

September 24, 2024