yangbaffle

I thought it crazy that Thor or Captain America needed stunt doubles when they were shooting their films. The Justice League and Avengers bars were set so high I didn’t ever see why the Oscars have a ‘Supporting Character’ award. Sasa Vin Diesel anaweza shindwa kupiga scrambo akiwa gear 9 shuali? Out of my incredible interest in matters aviation, I learned about the different works of…

Do you know what’s faster dan de lion? De cheetah 😂😂 Bad joke? No? Okay. I’m not one for journaling and keeping a diary although I’ll admit to having a strong, seasonal desire to write down spectacular stuff that happened to me, because of me, not because of me, to someone known or unknown to me, to something, its a wavy feeling I get from time to time and seeing how unpredictable it is, I…

OSCAR’S PERFORMANCE

What happens to a dead person’s body? Like when a human dies, do they feel cold? Can they feel being touched? Do they get jokes? Just lying there, being carried everywhere and not noticing a thing about how they’re treating your wife or boyfriend now that you’re not here. I saw a mother breastfeeding her infant in a matatu and when the child was full, he just shoved the breast away and began…

My guest writer intends to pick your brain on an issue that’s hardly an issue. Follow him via https://tomrisecj.wordpress.com/

Nobody’s Coming

Imagine a raft… A small raft made out of bamboo with a stick pointing out of one end. Imagine yourself on it, floating out on a blue ocean next to a white, magnificent and expensive yatch which is your anchor. You’re lying on it in your white bathrobe, soaking the sun and humming to ‘Easy like Sunday morning’ playing on the stereo in the yatch. On your feet you have on some crimson red Supreme…

Monday’s and blues go together like PB & J (that’s Pam Beesly & Jim by the way 😉) and truth is, not many people like the day; I’m not sure why. This particular one I was walking to work, had my headphones plugged in, minding my bidness big time when suddenly, bam! An accident across the road when this silver Toyota Wish joining the highway got its front bumper dented by this black 4*4 which was…

PASSION ISN’T JUST A FRUIT

Somewhere in mid primary school I discovered the social class that distinguishes the learned from the average; and later on I learnt how the high, mid and low class come to live in Kitusuru, Umoja and Kinyago respectively. There were smart guys in my class bana, and I mean bright smart. This one chap, Haniel Ng’oda, always averaged an 80% in all subjects, including math. Yaani, I felt dumb just…

We began on a high, me and Clyde. Sweeping these streets and getting so much done then one day, he broke. He’d taken too much of things. He was up to the brim. He called me up that night and we talked for hours on end. He told me about the things he sees in the drains, the many fetuses dead or alive, the wrongly cut umbilical cords, hundreds of crushed dreams, thousands of nightmares, dog and cat…

“Hey I’m actually in a meeting right now, I will call you back right after…”

“Hi, you’ve reached Nick’s voicemail, I can’t answer right now but leave me a message and I’m going to get back to you…[beep]”.

“Hey man, can I talk to you?”

“Let Susan know that Abby wants to talk to her in her office…”

“Hey any time you wanna talk, I’m here…”

“Are you kidding me? Its been such a long time! How’ve you…

I remember when I was in primary school, class 4, in the second term of the school year, we were called to the parade grounds by our headteacher to introduce us to a new teacher joining the school. After a few remarks, the headteacher called Miss Kinami to the dias. The first thing most, if not all of us noticed was that she had a beard. That was the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen in my 9…

4,000! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, all the way to 4,000!

Its been heartbreaking to read and hear about 4,000 girls having conceived in the last 4 months in Eastern Kenya. A presenter in a certain morning radio show said that’s 4,000 rapists and in Machakos, Kenya, there’s no prison large enough to hold 4,000 inmates. If all these girls are under the age of 18 then that’s 4,000 cases of defilement. If only…

Do you know what happens when you get used to eating in bed? Bugs. That’s what happens. Food bits drop on your beddings and small pests soon come to live off of that. You’ll be saving the earth as technically you will have your own little zoo in bed, and getting sleep might be difficult but, I’m sure y’all can agree to share. Add bedbugs to that party and watch yourself realize your turning…

“Hey I’m kinda bored, what you doing?”

Many people have asked me that during this self quarantine period and I know some people I’ve asked that too. Well yes, because staying indoors is not everyone’s cup of tea, but also because everyone is doing it now otherwise Friday nights would be, you know, Friday nights again. Even birds have some sort of territorial arrangement now, you can’t just walk…

This cobbler was mending a brown boot and he interested me when he was putting back it laces so I sat down to watch him. Next to him stood a man whose hairline had seen better days, and feared the sun, I think. He was shouting about how a matatu had left him. Shortly, a matatu conductor came and sat behind the busy cobbler, he then poked his ribs. Infuriated, the cobbler shouted towards him, “Kam…

This Monday I was waiting on my boss before I did some delivery. As I stood there, this woman with a customized wheelchair pulls up the pavement, she asks a certain jamaa to help push her into position and place a stone behind the aft wheels. She puts on the brakes, and makes sure she carefully checks the load she’s carrying with a lesoat her chest, its okay. She signals another woman to hand her…