all over the place

Anon your ask made me laugh irl, I couldn’t say no to such a request. Hope you don’t mind Alternate Universes too much.

To make it short: A person that’s been blocked for ages, and that I never interacted with (except once to tell them to stop messaging me) has been using a third party (whom I never had any problems with) to save and send them my content this whole time.

As I have stated in the above post it has never been my intention to hurt anyone, and while I stand by that, I have to add that Lepi and I are the only people hurt by this. I’ve been trying to digest this for almost a month now and I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying really hard to be the bigger person here but there are things that have been said that hurt on such a personal level that I just can’t let it go like that.

This is how the person describes what happened:

The first four sentences are how we remember the situation, too. That’s when all of this should have been over and done with, by the way (except for the part where they just straight up keep reading our written works because we can’t block them on AO3).

“They then went on about me harassing them and acting impossible.” - If you think my vent post above, the literal only instance I ever talked about this situation, fits the description they just provided, then I guess we can agree to disagree. Who exactly is acting like a “defiant toddler” in this situation, though? The people who simply blocked and moved on, or the person who insisted on getting access to content, no matter how, no matter by whom, no matter how disrespectful and greedy it would be? It baffles me how you can twist reality like that just to make it fit your own version. They didn't need to do that at all, and I'm not sure what they gained by doing so. Considering they told the follower immediately after exchanging three messages with each other, it wouldn't surprise me if they told everyone they spoke to. However, knowing that this happened behind our backs without us ever having a chance to clear up the lies is upsetting, though, and that’s why I’m talking about it now.

This is how they continued:

Considering they just admitted to getting provided with the uncensored content, I can’t believe they said they “gave it up because the matter is not important to them”. Remind me; who couldn’t let go of this situation? Because to me it was over the moment they were blocked. There was nothing to be clarified btw, if you get blocked you move on and that’s. Literally. It.

They dodged most of the questions asked and stated over and over again that they weren’t doing anything wrong, until finally:

“I’m not interested in the people, I just want to look at the pictures” - We’re not content machines. We’re human beings and we put our hearts, our thoughts, and our emotions into every single piece, even the silly ones, and to dismiss that and compare us to a fucking pizza place (I mean, really? Wow.) is dehumanising and leaves me speechless. Add to that the fact that I literally watermark every piece of art I upload - how can you separate me from my artwork in that way? What part of "don't ever look at me or my content again" do you not understand, even after I literally told you? How can a person be so obsessed with accessing certain content that they not only completely ignore the creator's desire to be left alone, but also twist the truth and continue to shamelessly consume the content?

“If I don’t want someone to contact me, I block him/her. The person can still look at my pictures.” - That’s not what blocking means though, and I don’t know what’s so hard to understand about it. If a person has blocked you on every website with a block option, do you really think they’re OK with what you’ve done? This isn’t about interacting with me, this is about respecting my desire to be left alone, including my content. And that goes for Lepi’s content as well, because with just one glance at their profile we saw artwork that looked heavily referenced from one of Lepi’s works - it’s like a slap in the face. It could always be a coincidence but considering the circumstances I think it’s a likely possibility. Also, considering how uncomfortable it was for Lepi to post our fics on AO3 because of the prospect that the person was still reading along and the suspicions were confirmed, you can imagine how we feel about uploading fics now. Or anything else, really.

Another thing that doesn’t sit right with me is the way their friend just went “Look, there’s new content” - How can you just say something like that without even considering for a second how we feel?

I’ve talked to the third party privately about it and they’ve admitted to it (after initially denying it) but it doesn’t change the fact how mean this is. We used to gush about fandom stuff, I happily drew request art for them, and they even were mutuals with Lepi. They most likely also shared information from private chat logs, but they deny that too. But after what they did, it's hard to believe them. Do you have any idea what impact this experience has on us and our ability to trust others in the fandom?

Anyway, I'm not going to try to talk to the blocked person about any of this because they’ve obviously made up their mind and because the message I sent them over a year ago should have been more than enough. I know there are many people who silently judge Lepi and me for our interests but it’s sad to learn that we have been disrespected for so long by a person we have specifically barred from seeing our content.

Judging by the way this person has handled rejection in the past, I can only assume they will take this the wrong way (again) and talk even more shit. There's nothing I can do about that though, and frankly I'm tired of it.

Lastly:  DON’T try to find these people. Don’t try to bait them into replying to this, don’t harass them, don’t be creepy. If you do, I’ll block you immediately. I don’t condone harassment in any way, shape, or form. This post is to vent and to cope. I need to let it out somehow and I’m trying to find out what works best. I just want my peace - even though I feel like I’ll never truly have that now that I know what’s been going on behind my back.

I want this to be the last time I ever have to talk about this. Please respect our wish, once and for all.

twins: *doin the nae nae*

Ruff and Tuff: wHIP IT GOOD!