We always talk about âsigns of a terrible Domâ so letâs talk about some signs of an actually good Dom
They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went
They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether youâre in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE
Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)
They arenât afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive
Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but itâs not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun âadd onâ, but itâs NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).
They are concerned for your safety, but donât overdo it. They want you safe, but donât take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.
They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (âskeletons in your closestâ), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just donât feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesnât need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where youâve been, etc.)
They trust you. A Dom who doesnât trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.
When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a âme against youâ style argument (âI WON THE ARGUMENTâ, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements
They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits donât mean âconvince meâ. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.
turnnoffyourmind
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