Not this mind & not this heart I won't rot

i started from the bottom, meaning i just spent the past hour looking at the posts i liked three years ago, when i first joined tumblr and when i was in the middle of depression and self harm. so, of course, most of the posts i liked back then were about those things

and you know what

most of the blogs that reblogged or posted those stuff three years ago, now write positive and helpful things on their blogs. i saw a lot of them writing in their description that they’re recovering, i saw a lot of cute selfies and laughter in the tags of a funny post

some of them are art blogs now, some of them are fandom blogs, some of them are humor blogs. most of the sad, depressed people that i followed years ago, now dedicate their blogs to something that makes them happy

three years ago i liked the post of a girl who said she wanted to kill herself. now, of course, i checked out her blog scared that she might have actually done it, but i found out she is alive and that she had a baby. she is the mother of a gorgeous little kid despite everything and i’m so happy for her (i might have cried when i saw the photos)

and i’m not saying those people now are absolutely 10000% totally fine no problems at all, because i know how difficult it is to deal with depression, and maybe yes it’s just a stupid blog on a dumb website, but i know change when i see it, i saw it in myself just now, while confronting the things i felt years ago and the things i feel now