i just need to have more rules for myself. more rules and limits. surely that will help me

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@xxcrelisexx
i just need to have more rules for myself. more rules and limits. surely that will help me

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OP of this collection got deleted but the other one i reblogged made me remember this so i must spread the word
marathon durandal ass images
Official ominous sign(s)
My favorite is "you are only ever as safe as I want you to be".
@mail-me-a-snail
You guys are never gonna fucking believe what itâs actually called
They can try, and spend absurd amounts of money, and they might even make absurd amounts of money back, but we all know the real metric of cultural relevance.
It kind of fucks with me that somebody killed Ăśtzi the iceman because Ăśtzi himself is like whatever but the silent presence of human hands that drew back the string of the bow that shot the arrow that killed him is crazy. the idea that there were various people involved in that situation and while one of them has had his last hours painstakingly reconstructed and studied to no end, the others now only exist insofar that an arrowhead had to get into his shoulder somehow. imagine killing someone and then suddenly your entire existence is only a vague shadow implied by the fact that you killed them. much to consider
Testing the mummified bone marrow of Ăśtzi to figure out his ancestry whole time thereâs definitely another person, maybe more than one, standing in the room with us but I can never see or speak to them because I only know them through the assurance that they were there too in the form of one single arrowhead. I hate prehistory so much itâs unreal
I hate it too tbh

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Well done!
over-psychoanalyzing blorbos is healthy and needed enrichment for the girlies in order to avoid over-psychoanalyzing themselves. like giving a dog a chew toy in order to redirect chewing on its hind legs
"Am I bad for resenting well-meaning displays of affection? Am I evil for lashing out at people close to me instead of the powers that be?" No. That's Sasuke. Be safe out there

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if you ever find yourself thinking âwow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!â thatâs the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you donât rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.
this one took off quickly - are you guys ok
WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.
Reblog if you have met the librarian
On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.
So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"
And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."
"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"
"Of course!"
Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.
Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!
And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.
And turns it on.
Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously
Like, shit man!
[Read the full story]
TwitterÂ
What
No for real this is a whole webcomic and itâs worth checking out
Also this
Itâs an insane series. It started with a joke comic âwhat if scooby doo had a gunâ and developed into a sprawling sci-fi action series with epic fights. The last one I read (current that I know of right now) is a fight between Dexter from Dexterâs lab, fighting Foghorn Leghorn from looney toons.
Please read this
I binged on this entire series, could not put it down. Highly recommend. Itâs soooooo funny but you will get unironically invested in these characters.
i just finished binging it and itâs GOLD, please read it
Imagine if Who Framed Roger Rabbit was a sci-fi shonen manga with horror elements. Thatâs Scoob and Shag.
well maybe you should blearily wake up at 5:08 in the pre-dawn light and find the sleeping soft tiny mammal body of your cat just inches from your head like a miracle too beautiful for speech, and you should rustle one hand out from your blankets to rub fingertip circles across the warm eggshell dome of her little velvet-wrapped skull and on the bristly patches just where the cups of her ears begin, and as she inclines her head into your fingers and purrs without ever opening her little eyes you should feel a love so tender that you understand how that love could have reached out from the fireside into the inky spangled nights long gone to reach her, and then you'll feel better
i am at a complete loss as to how to adequately express to you how much this cat throws up yeah
Captain Pioneer

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unfinished doodles of guy offering jess scratch n sniff stickers after putting her through hell (he kept them from his teaching days)