c'est la vie

I am just a burden at this point. I wish I could just curl in on myself until I disappear.

I’ll never understand how you can sleep soundly while I lay there crying next to you.

It’s sad to me that I’ll come on here after a long time without posting, and then see that my last posts were me venting about the same exact things I’m hurting about now.

If someone you love is “fishing for compliments” why would you not just give them what they’re telling you they need? It costs you nothing. And to them it means everything. Why would you scream at someone for telling you they don’t know why you love them. For telling you they don’t think there’s anything special about themself. If you love them, why couldn’t you just give them the reassurance they’re begging for? Why do they even have to beg?

You couldn’t name one reason you love me. Not one thing that’s special about ME. do you even see me? Or is there truly just nothing worth seeing?

I thought things were getting better. I was feeling so much happier. I was in the shower thinking about how bad I want a baby that’s half you and half me, while you were more concerned with everything wrong about me and about us with the thought of leaving in your mind.

One of the loneliest feelings is crying next to someone who doesn’t care. Crying next to the person you love most in the world, but still being alone. I always hurt alone. Even when you’re right next to me.

I want to share my feelings, just not with you. Because it isn’t safe anymore.

I feel annoying and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I feel like everything I do is wrong.