Namaste Bitches

So I was scrolling along, minding my own business, when I came across this blog. And then I spent a good amount of time scrolling through all the vaginas, all the self love and self doubt, and it got me thinking, “I don’t really know what mine looks like.” So I took some pictures, and did some drawings. And what I noticed was that mine looks like a hooded figure turning slightly to the side, pulling her cloak closer to cover herself. And when i spread my lips apart, then it looks like she’s throwing her cape open, like she’s flashing in a public space or something. So I drew that as well.

Here’s my word of advice for someone with genital anxiety: If the reason you don’t like your parts has anything to do with someone other than yourself (Someone else said it was ugly, it doesn’t look like someone else’s, you’re worried someone else won’t like it,) then it’s not a valid reason to not like it and you can let go and be free of that shit. The only time someone else’s opinion matters is when it’s a doctor telling you weather it’s healthy or not.

Peace, Pleasure, and Pussies!

Yesterday I had a not so excellent day. Sometimes I let my anxiety get the better of me and I was already having a rough time as I am travelling in a tropical climate and managed to get heat stroke. I had posted a picture with some nice words about Mr. Fox but had gotten worried that I was coming on too strong or he wouldn’t like me when I got back from my trip. It sounds like I’m crazy when I say it now, but at the time I was listening to all my anxious thoughts in my head and I was so worried that I would lose him by being myself. I ended up changing my text to something inane and made my fabulous Mr. Fox upset because I hadn’t communicated with him and he didn’t understand my actions.

I am exploring new things with Mr. Fox and some of it scares me. Not the biting and spanking and being tied up part. The part that I have problems with is where you expose your fleshy underbelly of thoughts and feelings and make yourself entirely vulnerable to another person. I am a very guarded person to begin with, and I have always had a hard time opening up. I am trying so hard to use my words and express what I need, what I want, and how I feel. Some days it doesn’t go well, yesterday being one of those days, but I am trying. I need to remind myself that sometimes it is necessary to expose myself in this way to make another person feel good about themselves. Mr. Fox deserves to know that he is special to me, and that I care very deeply about him. He is my favourite human, I need to come out of my shell so that I can show him that.