Xolopilli (my art!)

"Brown Recluse" would have been a great quarantine name for me tbh... ☕

@/draila17

But as a latino i dont feel like a conspiracy theorist. I know what i see is real and intentional.

Really what I feel is: guilt.

Because to be constantly pointing it out... Constantly expressing the absence... People eventually get tired of how "combative" you are. How "disagreeable" , "serious", and "mean".

You are a buzzkill. A nuisance. The person who makes watching literally any given movie suddenly awkward for others.

And YES, these feelings are on THEM to deal with and dissect. But pretty much no one ever does, so you are left in this limbo of "do i point X out? do i say nothing?". Because the only way to 100% keep white friends is to not tire them out. To not exhaust them with your emotions of endless rage or grief at a system that you see categorically erasing you or including only fantasies.

Even the progressive ones you sit with the knowledge that they have their limit, and often its shorter than what you would have expected.

So guilt.