mayxxa

my emily............. puts hand on window longingly............. my emily...... she's not even that much different like idk wtf All That is ab cause i didn't read much of it and i also do not care but my version of emily is just what i interpret from the little we know about her character and the characters used as reminders of her.

for me, emily first and foremost wanted to live. she grew up sheltered, in hospitals, kept away from normal kids and games and childhood experiences. all she had was an overbearing, suffocating mother, an enabling father, and rebecca. emily attaches to rebecca beyond what's healthy because 1. she's the only constant peer she had for a big part of her childhood and 2. their parents pushed the idea that it was rebecca's job to make emily happy. which we know, but it's also worth pointing out that this implies emily can't be happy on her own.

emily tries very hard to present as confident and self-sufficient, but she ultimately defines herself by her relationships and the amount of control she exerts over these relationships. and she needs to be the one in control, because when other people are in control, she ends up contained and sheltered and unbearably safe, and emily wants to live her fucking life. google dignity of risk real quick. yeah. so. a lot of emily's behavior can to me be explained as a desperate attempt to claim control over her life and overcompensate for the suffocating lack of freedom that characterized her childhood. the boys were part of this too, she wanted the experiences they gave her and she wanted them both because she wanted to have everything she could get. like a starving person in a buffet.

obviously emily was not a good sister or friend or girlfriend. this is because emily doesn't know how to form and maintain healthy relationships with peers. she was raised in a house were she was the center of everything, prioritized over everything and given anything she wanted except control/freedom. now, emily is too fixated on holding onto the control she's been able to achieve to surrender the trust and vulnerability necessary for any relationship. and she's entirely too self absorbed. i truly believe emily's development of empathy was stunted growing up with such limited socialization and the way her parents both restrained and spoiler her. she is her number one priority and seems to genuinely struggle to consider or understand or care about how others feel and the impact her actions have on them. i don't think she was being malicious and actively trying to sabotage jameson and grayson's relationship. she wanted them to compete over her, but if they started hating each other over that.... that's kinda not her problem? i doubt she even thought of that.

emily is also a very angry girl. we know that she's a crash out, the cliff jumping was her crashing out over rebecca and jameson, and she wasn't just threatening to do it, it was like she needed to. growing up being perceived as fragile and needing of protection tells emily that the best way to hurt others is to hurt herself. also, since her lack of freedom was a measure meant to keep her safe and healthy and alive, now she prioritizes exercising that freedom and living over staying alive per se. she had no regard for her own well-being. regard for her well-being kept her locked up. she's done with that. and her eve and calla connections are there too like there's a deep undercurrent of anger and desperation to everything she does. she's also very protective of her people, in her own way.

that's how i read her character.

spoilers for the gilded blade now with some thoughts on what i've been hearing.

MY EVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

drop dead: emily and grayson (sorry)

stupid song: PEAK averyjameson

honeybee: toby and hannah

maggots for brains: grayson in general and jameson rn. gigislate too ig

u + me = <3: lyragrayson

my way: the eve/avery/savannah situation

purple: emily and jameson. in a way. to me.

the cure: everyone and their mother. literally.

begged: theabecca

what's wrong with me: jameson breaking up with emily. libby and drake.

less: alisa and nash :/

expectations: alisa and nash #gethim

cigarette smoke: knox and calla