pocket sized disaster

the ask box is open for one ask make it'a count

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

Thinking about this again as someone breezes past the “how to find this” quick guide full of screenshots and my slack handle “email Librarian” to send a dm ask ‘does the library have this book?’

*person whos never been loved voice* yeah its so cool when people tolerate my presence without making fun of me

Reblog if you're overworked and underfucked

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

Julian Devorak truly is the character of all time. To me. He’s a fugitive plague doctor with a leech collection. He runs a clinic in the neglected side of town offering free medical care to the impoverished. He believes his life and needs are expendable. The first time you meet him, he breaks into your house and says “death cast her gaze on this wretch and looked away.” He wears an eye patch over a functioning eye and an oversized black coat like a cape. He takes you to his grandma’s house to escape the authorities. She drugs him to sleep. He breaks up with you on the first date and cries about it until his estranged sister yells at him. He has memory loss and believes he’s cursed to take others’ wounds. He didn’t commit the murder he’s accused of but won’t let anyone exonerate him and gives a dramatic speech to a jeering crowd before being hanged. He comes back to life and learns that friendship is the real magic. He tells you he loves you before he makes a deal with the Devil. He plays the viola and carries multiple kinds of counterfeit currency. He likes romantic cliches but is flustered by affection. He is regularly bullied by his ex’s pet snake and some raven that claimed him. He knows 7 languages. He puts vodka in his mouthwash and five hour energy in his coffee. He laughs like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. He’s as agile as a cat. He is the clumsiest man alive. He’s a 6’4 bisexual masochistic sub with hairy tits and no ass. Fuck.

Crucially, this is being led by a lot of Democrats. This is not just Republicans sneaking bullshit in while they have the power to simply not listen to anyone; your democratic representatives will continue to co-sponsor and speak in support of this unless they know you, their voters, do not want them to.