pocket sized disaster

Julian Devorak truly is the character of all time. To me. He’s a fugitive plague doctor with a leech collection. He runs a clinic in the neglected side of town offering free medical care to the impoverished. He believes his life and needs are expendable. The first time you meet him, he breaks into your house and says “death cast her gaze on this wretch and looked away.” He wears an eye patch over a functioning eye and an oversized black coat like a cape. He takes you to his grandma’s house to escape the authorities. She drugs him to sleep. He breaks up with you on the first date and cries about it until his estranged sister yells at him. He has memory loss and believes he’s cursed to take others’ wounds. He didn’t commit the murder he’s accused of but won’t let anyone exonerate him and gives a dramatic speech to a jeering crowd before being hanged. He comes back to life and learns that friendship is the real magic. He tells you he loves you before he makes a deal with the Devil. He plays the viola and carries multiple kinds of counterfeit currency. He likes romantic cliches but is flustered by affection. He is regularly bullied by his ex’s pet snake and some raven that claimed him. He knows 7 languages. He puts vodka in his mouthwash and five hour energy in his coffee. He laughs like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. He’s as agile as a cat. He is the clumsiest man alive. He’s a 6’4 bisexual masochistic sub with hairy tits and no ass. Fuck.

Crucially, this is being led by a lot of Democrats. This is not just Republicans sneaking bullshit in while they have the power to simply not listen to anyone; your democratic representatives will continue to co-sponsor and speak in support of this unless they know you, their voters, do not want them to.

I should probably have a good scream. I feel like I’m a little overdue a blood curdling throat ripping yell

dont be fade. dont be scade.

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying